The Details are Irrelevant...Sift Through the BS on this Forum

After you read this post, take a look at the General Discussion forum. It's full of guys asking questions like "I did this with HB, and then we did this, and she said this, and now we ended up here. She shut me down but I think she likes me. Does she like me?"

If you're one of these guys, your problem is twofold. First, you care too much. The very fact that you took the time to dissect a whole night of events and wonder what's on her mind tells me that you never had her in the first place. Second, you don't feel worthy. You've posted this all in hopes of landing your oneitis or whatever HB you have your eye on rather than having the mindset that she should feel lucky to be in your presence. I've been at this point before. I remember emailing Doc Love asking him what I should do if my oneitis doesn't like me but her roommate does. Whoops. I'm sure Doc Love rolled his eyes.

In these General Discussion threads, you'll see that most of the answers involve someone saying "Do this next time she's around." or "Say this, she'll REALLY get confused and like you!" These responses are utter bullsh*t. They come from Non-Juans copying what Don Juans say and do. Techniques and lines like this WILL grant you limited success. I know there was a time for a couple years as I was recovering from AFC-dom where I SWORE by this stuff. I thought, "If she does this, I'll say this." I had limited success this way, but the problem was that these lines, etc weren't part of me. I still viewed women as the prize, and I still felt lucky to have their time. The problem with these techniques and lines is that you can't TELL someone to be confident. You can do some mental gymnastics and convince yourself that you're confident, but it will quickly fade.

So how did I fix my problem, and how are you to fix yours? Hard work on yourself! It's been just over a year since I decided to man the f*ck up and improve myself, and my life is TOTALLY different.

Not only that, I view women and interactions with them in a totally different way. First, I see that women are fairly irrelevant and replaceable. Second, I realized that any woman is lucky to have time with me. They are happy to let me know this. I no longer worry about what I'm saying or doing, I'm just having fun. I'm getting laid whenever I feel like it, and MORE IMPORTANTLY, the rest of my life is in order. So what kind of work did I do to improve myself? Read on my friend...read on...

Personally I can withstand going through rafc posts which ask specific questions such as "i did this and this, now, should I do THIS under X conditions? etc..."

However, most of these dudes repeatedly post different questions with, basically, the same theme!

If you feel this is you, PLEASE read the bible... most of your questions are already answered in a specific manner there.




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Note: Some of these ideas have been borrowed.

I had a bit of an epiphany last February. An ex of mine that I had been pining over for years (yuck...just thinking about Old-Me) wasn't giving me the time of day and I finally snapped. "F*CK THIS!" I said. "I'm living MY way!" I was tired of doing what everyone else thought was good for me and tired of getting no respect - from myself and others.

So I found a tip on here and tried an exercise.

I took out a piece of paper and wrote down all my faults and all my strengths. I made goals on how to fix my weaknesses, and gradually worked my way into fixing them.

I started working out lightly at the gym, then after a few months working out hard, and now I bust my ass with exercise 6 days a week. I feel amazing, and I look damn good too.

I started spending time on my constructive hobbies like playing guitar. I went from playing once every couple weeks to playing 1-2 hours a day. I cut out my unproductive hobbies like playing video games all day.

I started getting sh*t DONE. Instead of putting off things I had to do, I did them ASAP. Feels great to accomplish what needs to be done.

I'm constantly looking for ways to improve myself, and you should too. Keep in mind that you should start improving yourself gradually. It's near impossible to dive straight into a strict diet and keep it right? Start small, and build up.

Also, as the thread title says, sift through the bullsh*t on this forum. There's a lot of great material if you just look for it. Personally, I found the DJ Bible the most helpful. It's at the bottom of every page of the forum. The Six Week Entire Reading Guide and the Book of Pook are a must.

Also, keep an eye out for posters here like backbreaker, Daddy The Pimp and Igetit! Their posts are gold.

Good luck, and WORK HARD!

+1 rep.

There's nothing better than getting angry enough and saying, "That's enough...I'm not having it anymore."

An across-the-board personal makeover is mandatory. Most men are dabblers, and tentatively try to fix this and that as the mood strikes them. I think that every man has to think long and hard about what manhood actually is, define it clearly, and lay out a plan to become that man.

That phrase in on my screensaver: "Become The Man".

Bondy I completely agree with your post.

I think too many guys come here looking for the one magic bullet that will fix their situation.

I posted this last week on another thread.

Older post:

Personally I think, in the grand scheme of things, you have to have a pretty strong inner 'game' (confidence, sense of self and worth) which then leads and enables your outer 'game' (interactions with others).

I see many guys on this site who think they can do a "connect the dots" outer 'game' with no real inner 'game' and by virtue of doing the "right steps in the right order" will be sucessfull.

I see this as a cart before the horse mentality that, from what I've seen, leads to confusion and failure.

Develop yourself first --- Improve your life, job, body, look, friends, education, etc. Your confidence and inner security and sense of self will grow creating your inner 'game' which in turn will allow a more grounded almost effortless outer 'game' to develop.


Over and Out

You have no idea how much I approve.
A lot of people here know me as that critical fuc>.
It's only because I've pretty much seen every aspect of this community and so every visit here I'm thinking, 'no, doing it wrong!'

What do you do when you have no inner game because of constant failings with women?

I have been seriously working on myself for a couple of years now. When am I going to get a fucking girl?!

A while back a wise member posted that the reason for general, "what do I do about this girl" or "does she like me threads" is because these men rarely get any attention from women. When a woman finally notices them it's a huge deal for these dudes. Naturally the men don't have a clue what to do and they don't want to screw it up, because they have no idea how long it will be till the next girl pays them any attention.

IMO that observation is completely accurate and I'm an example of it. BTW I really need more input on my thread

I think this is just one early stage in their development. Been there too... but at some point you simply start to get it.

Don't worry too much about it, every one of them will learn in their own way - just as you did.

Most guys on this board overanalyse things.Now if they had abundance mentality they probably wouldnt

Glad it's helpful and more of you get it than I had thought!

Huffman said:

I think this is just one early stage in their development. Been there too... but at some point you simply start to get it.

Don't worry too much about it, every one of them will learn in their own way - just as you did.

Click to expand...

Yep. Hopefully this saves them some time. I know I wasted years on "outer game".

I'm starting to apply ABUNDANCE as my main mindset at the moment, it'll take some time, but I'm getting there. For instance, I always rely on scarcity and an outcome dependent mind, which is unhealthy ..............but telling us how much you've improved due to excessive work on yourself and keeping busy, leaves me to ask how and when do you have the time to interact with women then?

Believing that women are replaceable and irrelevant is all DANDY and what not, but thats not going to get you LAID............... You'll be waiting a long time if thats how you're going to percieve things, I've been working on myself, probably just has hard as you, yet I don't see the LAYS coming in? or women applauding me for my time.......................Even the plain janes, which has made me dislike their gender on a whole. As much as I don;t want to even interact with them to gain soemthing (sex), it's a need all young men like me, REQUEST.

Glad to see you understand the big picture.

Because your right, a lot of guys are going about this learning process completely wrong.

The DJ bible is what its about

I think there is no point in trying to rush what should be a personal development.
There is something in our subconscious that lets us advance only through our own actions and experience. You can't simply skip what is part of your life.

And, I have to admit, I had one hell of a time back then... remember the first time you had the balls to approach a girl... set up a date...

Finally, we should try and avoid getting arrogant... I for one still have some way to go - and a lot of things to try out.