Sosuave Emergency!!

In my short time posting here, I have noticed a very disturbing trend when it comes to this forum even existing!

The trend is, no matter who posts their questions/problems, and no matter what kind of advice the guy gets, the guy usually (close to 100% of the time) ends up not following the advice and still doing whatever his chump-filled mind tells him to do.

So, this basically means, that no matter how much high quality advice a guy with issues receives, it all ends up being a wasted space of words and a waste of time for whoever typed up the advice.

I mean seriously, I cannot remember anyone from all of the threads I have read who have been told to "not go for the married chick" or have been told to "dump that b1tch who is causing useless drama in your life", that have actually ended up doing it! usually these guys just post their own justifications over and over in response to the advice, or they just disappear all together

It really makes me question the reason why I or anyone else should offer advice to those in need, if the ones in need are just not going to listen.........I MEAN WHAT IS THE POINT IN WASTING TIME POSTING ADVICE TO THREADS THAT ASK QUESTIONS WHEN ALL YOU GET IS PVSSIFIED RETALIATION?

Some people get off on drama or just too lazy to make any changes in their lives. But why do you care what people you've never met (or will ever meet) do with advice that is given to them?

Some guys just have to get hurt by women and their drama in order to learn rather than avoid the drama altogether by following the advice of others.

Another thing you have to take into consideration is that most of these guys are afcs without other options. A woman gives them interest and then they start putting all their effort into making it work with this one woman who happens to be trouble. Instead they should put their effort into gaming multiple women at a time in order to not get oneitis/not mess around with a married woman/girl with a bf etc.

Can you really blame them? most of us were in their situation at one time or another. A woman gave us the time of day and we didn't care how full of bs/how full of drama she was we just wanted to make it work. A DJ who happens to talk to lots of women doesn't have such problem he can next a woman and not be bothered by it. This is the mentality we all need.

Rescue Mission said:

It really makes me question the reason why I or anyone else should offer advice to those in need, if the ones in need are just not going to listen.........I MEAN WHAT IS THE POINT IN WASTING TIME POSTING ADVICE TO THREADS THAT ASK QUESTIONS WHEN ALL YOU GET IS PVSSIFIED RETALIATION?

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You learn quickly to identify the ones who won't listen. If it's tons of posts in the thread of them justifying themselves...I won't even bother to post at all. I usually will give some advice once and move on. If they listen, they listen, if they don't they don't. But at the end of the day they can't say nobody warned em. That's why I usually end my advice posts with the words, Good Luck.

That's why I stopped asking for advice for good. I couldn't bring myself to follow any of it. I've always been a coward and it seems that is not gonna change. You don't "grow some balls" when you're almost 22.

There is your answer. Over and out.

Nygard said:

That's why I stopped asking for advice for good. I couldn't bring myself to follow any of it. I've always been a coward and it seems that is not gonna change. You don't "grow some balls" when you're almost 22.

There is your answer. Over and out.

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Seriously? You think people lose the ability to grow and change when they've hit 22 years old? You've barely lived 25% of your life expectancy.

I don't know if you're a coward, but you do say some pretty stupid things. If you're willing to put work in, you can change anything about yourself that you want to. So I don't know if you should be calling yourself a "coward"...."lazy" might be a better word. You're too lazy to change yourself into the man you want to be.

f283000 said:

Some guys just have to get hurt by women and their drama in order to learn rather than avoid the drama altogether by following the advice of others.

Another thing you have to take into consideration is that most of these guys are afcs without other options. A woman gives them interest and then they start putting all their effort into making it work with this one woman who happens to be trouble. Instead they should put their effort into gaming multiple women at a time in order to not get oneitis/not mess around with a married woman/girl with a bf etc.

Can you really blame them? most of us were in their situation at one time or another. A woman gave us the time of day and we didn't care how full of bs/how full of drama she was we just wanted to make it work. A DJ who happens to talk to lots of women doesn't have such problem he can next a woman and not be bothered by it. This is the mentality we all need.

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YES!

When we tell him to NEXT the girl he doesn't, because for him there is no "next" girl. So he just rationalizes why he's right and we're wrong, because we're not saying what he wants to hear.

However, learning to walk away from a bad situation when you don't have other options takes strength.

Experience helps too. A lot of people have to get burned a few times before they really learn their lesson.

starplayer said:

YES!

When we tell him to NEXT the girl he doesn't, because for him there is no "next" girl. So he just rationalizes why he's right and we're wrong, because we're not saying what he wants to hear.

However, learning to walk away from a bad situation when you don't have other options takes strength.

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Exactly. We have to take into consideration the type of men that post in this forum. Afcs, guys with no lives, no experience with women, few friends, never had a gf etc etc. Not all but most are in one of these categories.

Most guys that aren't good with women go through really long cold spells of not even talking to a woman then all of a sudden a woman popping up in their lives is a huge deal. So it's really hard for such guys I described (afcs, no experience with women etc) to listen to the truth of their situation. All they are thinking about is making a rare chance with a woman work even if they are in a no win situation and everyone is telling them so.

Even though a lot of people dont follow our advice, there are some that do. It is those who follow the advice that end up improving themselves. Even tho our advice isnt always followed exactly, many times it avoids worst case scenarios. Then you have others like pikachu_69 and Areyousinglefemale who never listen to any advice, and this inability to follow advice leads to the excessive thread making asking advice for issues already adressed in their previous threads. So in effect, you have in this forum a few people who don't listen to advice but who are creating most of the advice-seeking threads. Whiler it seems like most of the people here don't listen to advice, in reality its only a minority.

f283000 said:

Exactly. We have to take into consideration the type of men that post in this forum. Afcs, guys with no lives, no experience with women, few friends, never had a gf etc etc. Not all but most are in one of these categories.

Most guys that aren't good with women go through really long cold spells of not even talking to a woman then all of a sudden a woman popping up in their lives is a huge deal. So it's really hard for such guys I described (afcs, no experience with women etc) to listen to the truth of their situation. All they are thinking about is making a rare chance with a woman work even if they are in a no win situation and everyone is telling them so.

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I wouldn't say all guys that hang on these boards are the types you described. I personally come here because I find it entertaining. I'm not great with women, but I try (although I am pretty crappy, lol). Some guys are just bad with women, despite knowing how to treat them we still don't get the kinds of results other guys get. Now don't get me wrong, I still try but recently I couldn't care less if I fail or not.

Nygard said:

That's why I stopped asking for advice for good. I couldn't bring myself to follow any of it. I've always been a coward and it seems that is not gonna change. You don't "grow some balls" when you're almost 22.

There is your answer. Over and out.

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Its very sad that you think this way. I can not imagine how one can have such a strong lack of will and ambition to the point that he gives up on improving himself.

f283000 said:

Most guys that aren't good with women go through really long cold spells of not even talking to a woman then all of a sudden a woman popping up in their lives is a huge deal. So it's really hard for such guys I described (afcs, no experience with women etc) to listen to the truth of their situation. All they are thinking about is making a rare chance with a woman work even if they are in a no win situation and everyone is telling them so.

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Brilliant observation

It's very hard to give up on something when you've waited so long for it.

At least when the AFC fails he can get feedback and hopefully not fail the next time.

I do want to help people, but at the same time, it benefits me to see the workings of other people's minds. They say that if you can teach it, you learn it better. So even if your advice falls on deaf ears, you are gaining some benefit.

And sometimes it takes a while for the advice to sink in. I was a total AFC when I started here. And it took several months for me to shake my AFCdom, and even today, I admit that it sometimes comes back.

It's one thing to know something, but it's another thing altogether to really KNOW something. It has to get internalized and you have to truly understand that concept. You have to patient, AFCism is not a disease that is cured overnight. You're basically trying to help these people unlearn a lifetime of bad ideas and replace them with new ones.

It requires a lot of repetition. You can't truly internalize it if you hear it just once. You have to hear it over and over again until it gets beaten into that thick skull of yours!

it helps us guys giving answers to stay sharp...
i think there are many lurkers who never ask or answer but who take in the information....

Its up to the individual to learn from his experiances. Even if the advise isn't followed, it, along with the results of his actions will help the person understand attraction better.


So advise is mainly something that helps in the long term. In the short term people are not going to change much so therefore they find it hard to change their actions. The subconscious mind is acting out what it believes and thats what needs to be reprogrammed.

The OP is so full of the wrong kind of mentality, that I don't even know where to begin.

Rescue Mission said:

In my short time posting here, I have noticed a very disturbing trend when it comes to this forum even existing!

The trend is, no matter who posts their questions/problems, and no matter what kind of advice the guy gets, the guy usually (close to 100% of the time) ends up not following the advice and still doing whatever his chump-filled mind tells him to do.

So, this basically means, that no matter how much high quality advice a guy with issues receives, it all ends up being a wasted space of words and a waste of time for whoever typed up the advice.

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Close to 100%? That's a relative term. 51% is closer to 100 than 35%. What's close for you, 99.9%

You see, most of the people that post here for the first time, found the forums first and don't even know what the DJ Bible is. So obviously, some of the veterans' Shock and Awe responses and the "Unplug from the Matrix" tactics are somewhat abrasive. Some people come in here seeking only reinforcement upon what they BELIEVED to be right, and when they aren't given this reinforcement, typically 1 of 3 things happens:

1) They reject this and defend their actions and do it again
2) Leave the board altogether to find some other forum that will agree with them
3) Digest the advice and use it to their future advantage

Rescue Mission said:

I mean seriously, I cannot remember anyone from all of the threads I have read who have been told to "not go for the married chick" or have been told to "dump that b1tch who is causing useless drama in your life", that have actually ended up doing it! usually these guys just post their own justifications over and over in response to the advice, or they just disappear all together

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I guess I just covered that part above. My hometown has a saying that goes something like this: No one learns through anyone else's experiences.
Therefore we are doomed to make mistakes in order to recognize what we did wrong. What THIS forum does is SHOW you those mistakes and teaches you HOW to improve upon them. Because, if you don't know you are doing it wrong, how are you supposed to change? You are going to keep committing the same mistakes no matter what.

Rescue Mission said:

It really makes me question the reason why I or anyone else should offer advice to those in need, if the ones in need are just not going to listen.........I MEAN WHAT IS THE POINT IN WASTING TIME POSTING ADVICE TO THREADS THAT ASK QUESTIONS WHEN ALL YOU GET IS PVSSIFIED RETALIATION?

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Because there's an off-chance that the person I am giving advice, might actually listen. Maybe not right away, but maybe in a few days, or even a few months, will come back to that thread and say: I should have listened to SoSuave.

We can't help everyone, because we can only help those who want to help themselves. We can offer advice in the hopes that they will take it to heart. But should I just sit here idly as I read stories of AFC's flopping around on dates like fishes out of water? I'd rather waste my 10 or 15 minutes per post trying to carefully dissect and take my time to respond someone, than to just dismiss any potential post and advice and look as more people make mistakes.

If out of my 10 posts, 9 get ignored and people don't follow what I or anyone else is saying, but there's that ONE person who did and is so much better off for it... doesn't that make it all worthwhile in the end?

Some people simply have "2x4 learning"; i.e. they're not going to change until they're smacked across the head by a 2x4.

This forum exists for people to get advice on their situations; whether they take that advice or not is their decision.

Rescue Mission said:

In my short time posting here, I have noticed a very disturbing trend when it comes to this forum even existing!

The trend is, no matter who posts their questions/problems, and no matter what kind of advice the guy gets, the guy usually (close to 100% of the time) ends up not following the advice and still doing whatever his chump-filled mind tells him to do.

So, this basically means, that no matter how much high quality advice a guy with issues receives, it all ends up being a wasted space of words and a waste of time for whoever typed up the advice.

I mean seriously, I cannot remember anyone from all of the threads I have read who have been told to "not go for the married chick" or have been told to "dump that b1tch who is causing useless drama in your life", that have actually ended up doing it! usually these guys just post their own justifications over and over in response to the advice, or they just disappear all together

It really makes me question the reason why I or anyone else should offer advice to those in need, if the ones in need are just not going to listen.........I MEAN WHAT IS THE POINT IN WASTING TIME POSTING ADVICE TO THREADS THAT ASK QUESTIONS WHEN ALL YOU GET IS PVSSIFIED RETALIATION?

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i do see where you are coming from, but its not entirely true. I come on this forum to ask for advice about my own life and relationships and while most of the time i do take that information to heart, sometimes i might not follow said advice. Nonetheless, the stuff that people say does NOT fall on deaf ears. While people may not apply it in a certain situation for wahtever reason (oneitis, etc), i know for a fact that i do use that information/advice in future encounters.

also, alot of times, while the OP might not follow your advice, there are plenty of lurkers out there with similar problems who will.

in any case, i do appreciate you giving out advice, whether or not you have ever directly helped me, people much like you have helped me ALOT as a whole.

cheers buddy

Alright guys....I feel like I'm being gang-tackled after a run for a 4 yard loss. I was incorrect in my assessment of this place.

What this all boils down to, is that we should continue to give advice to those who truly look for help, and to take note of the losers who never listen to advice, and make sure to not waste time with them

got it we're all set with this thread then

Rescue Mission said:

Alright guys....I feel like I'm being gang-tackled after a run for a 4 yard loss. I was incorrect in my assessment of this place.

What this all boils down to, is that we should continue to give advice to those who truly look for help, and to take note of the losers who never listen to advice, and make sure to not waste time with them

got it we're all set with this thread then

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That's basically what I do. I give advice because I enjoy helping others, and because it reminds me of how to stay on my own path.

But even if someone doesn't listen to your advice, there are dozens of lurkers who read it and are helped by it. It's the internet, right? So we just gotta accept that some people are trolls, others are morons, and others are just misguided.

But yes, it does get frustrating when the same person continues to ask the same kind of questions. I'm not gonna lie. And my frustration sometimes comes out in my posts. But hey, if they didn't want to be insulted then they should stop being stupid.