A question of jealousy

In the past, triggering a woman’s innate jealousy has been my bread & butter. Nothing seeds competition as when your girlfriend realizes you are being pursued by other women. However, I have learned that this can come back to bite you.

Which brings me to my current situation.

My girlfriend gets very jealous very easily. And I don’t blame her. This is the first time in her life that she’s had to deal with a man who is often sought by many women. She’s so used to being the only one and I’m sure it’s very difficult for her to adjust.

But hear me out guys. I’m not intentionally bragging about my conquests with her, or showing her photos of women I’ve slept with. It’s just a day to day thing that she’ll notice someone checking me out or flirting and then we end up fighting about it later that night.

Here’s my question:

“In your experience, what has been the best way to assure your woman that even though there are other women interested in you, that you only have eyes for her?”

I’m tired of fighting about petty little issues like this and I just want her to know that she has no reason to feel so sensitive about all this. I want to build her up and I can’t do this when we’re constantly fighting over her insecurities.

I try to look at it from her perspective. Why would you want to be in a relationship where the other person is constantly (even if they don’t know it) causing you stress by evoking your deepest insecurities? I’m not afraid of her leaving me, I’m just afraid of making her believe I’m someone I’m not. I look forward to your response.

Thank you.


P.S.- I understand that when used correctly, jealousy can have some amazing benefits. But being that she's ultra-sensitive about everything, this worked in the beginning but now it's just getting out of hand. Thanks for understanding.

First its jealousy, then its possessive, then its controlling. Just make sure she doesn't get out of control. If you bend a little (cut back on flirting with girls or avoid places where you are able to flirt with girls), she is just going to keep on bending and bending until you're AFC. Dont think "ohh shes just overly jealous and she cant help it." You might know how to use jealousy to your advantage. Dont think she doesnt know how to use it or manipulate it to her advantage too. Shes trying to chump you.

BTW I dont think there is anything you can do or say that would make her feel the slightest bit better. Even if you turn into an AFC, she still going to have issues with it. I've read somewhere on here that you cannot change a person, its up to them to change themselves. i was with a jealous insecure girl for 5 years in my AFC days. I went from DJ to AFC. She hasnt changed one bit.

When dealing with a jealous girlfriend or the girl that doesn't really go out much with her friends, it is imperative that you make sure you build a well balanced level of reassurance and comfort with her. If not, she will start to look for it elsewhere.

I know a lot of guys pride on the assh0le game and "ignoring your woman is the way to go", (which it does help to an extent) but it's not the end all be all. If you just let her assume that you have all these options and don't really care about her then she may start to get insecure, and look for another man to make her FEEL wanted. You must slip in a compliment or two every now and then. Don't go out of your way to make it known you have all these woman at your disposal either. If you are a high status male, she will know. You don't need to tell her. I'm not saying be a nice guy or anything, but make sure the balance is there. Let her wonder for awhile, and every now and then maybe slip her something imply that she's the only girl you have the hots for. Then you kiss her and have some amazing sex. Yada yada.

-Scars

Thank you guys, you really helped me out on this one. I know exactly what to do from here and I have the both of you to give credit to.

Wow, first week on the board and already giving out some decent advice. I was AFC lurker for about 2 weeks prior. I've really made a quick turn around thanks to the info on here.:rockon: