I turn 26 this year and time is running out!

I feel very strongly that I have reached the point of no return. Either I start understanding what it takes to meet women and develop relationships or I will forever be single, alone, with no females in my life.

I only had sex with two girls that actually wanted to sleep with me without anything for them to gain. All the rest of my sexual experiences came from escorts. When I was 18 -21, I had sex with about 30 different escorts. I wasn't getting any sex by attracting a woman naturally, so I decided to start hiring all types of girls. A couple escorts I ****ed more than once in a session but most were just a one time thing.

I stopped paying for sex because I'm tired of it. I want a female to share herself with me because she likes me. I had sex about 50 times in my entire life. I feel pathetic. The last time I had sex was in November. Before that, September...and like two years before September with the last escort I hired.

All I want is to meet a reasonably attractive girl...she can be a 6/10. I want to get experience being in a relationship. And no need to mention, sex on a regular basis.

A little while ago, I asked females for their opinion on how I look. Most of their comments were "you're cute" (they didn't say it in the "you're so cuuuttte" way), "you're attractive", and "there's nothing wrong with you".

I'm intelligent, have a good paying job, my own place...there's nothing about me that should put a female off.

BUT GET THIS... I approached only 5 females in my life in an attempt to get a date. The two girls I had sex with all showed interest in me first. I haven't approached any girls since learning this DJ stuff.

I don't have ANY friends. I live by myself, so I don't have a roommate. Okay, I do know people and sometimes get invited places, but I don't have any female friends or guy friends that are very social.

I don't attend school.

I just can't bring myself to approach women. I never see any good opportunities. It feels like women don't want to hook up with guys outside their social circles. Why would the chick at Starbucks go on a date with me when she has so many guys in her social circle and life?

Please help me.....

I look at guys that are total losers but are banging good looking girls...if I had what they had plus what I have...a girl would be lucky to have me.

troll?

surely not a troll @ 144 posts

mustfirstregister said:

troll?

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No. Why would you say that?

keep working at it. dont get to invovled emotionally with a woman. it will only benefit you. do not be scared of rejection. not being scared of rejection just doesnt mean her saying no, but having the ability to not let if effect you when you are trying again with the next woman or even talking to ones nothing happended with from before. there has been about 100 times I seen a woman and said that is what I want. so there a lot of woman.

I'm in a similar situation. It seems to me that having a social cirlcle is an absolute necessity, despite looks and money. You must attend some form of group meeting and you must make friends. Attend a gym, a club, a seminar, a theater or other social events/places. All other things just don't cut it, so it seems..

mustfirstregister said:

troll?

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lol you have 79 as your age and you're calling someone else a troll?

J. Darko said:

I'm in a similar situation. It seems to me that having a social cirlcle is an absolute necessity, despite looks and money. You must attend some form of group meeting and you must make friends. Attend a gym, a club, a seminar, a theater or other social events/places. All other things just don't cut it, so it seems..

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I think most hooking up occurs through friends and friends of friends.

No social circle...no sex.

AlmostThere! said:

Why would the chick at Starbucks go on a date with me when she has so many guys in her social circle and life?

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This kind of thinking is a killer. She would want to go out with you because you're better than those guys you THINK (key word, she may have no guys in her life at all) are around her.

AlmostThere! said:

I think most hooking up occurs through friends and friends of friends.

No social circle...no sex.

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A social circle is necessary to be able to socialize. It's part of healthy behavior like eating and sleeping. In order to be mentally healthy you MUST socialize in some way. We are social creatures after all.

Don't you find that you feel really good when you spend time with someone who you vibe with?


Social circles help you get laid. But its indirect, like most other things that help you get laid: having friends (being able to socialize), having a hobby (creativity, passion), having a job (independence, confidence).... etc.

Wow it's like I'm looking in the mirror, except the fact you're better off than I am. At least you actually had sex with women that wanted to sleep with you. You also get invited to go places with people.

Since you are so similar to me, I wouldn't be surprised if you have the same issues I do. Mainly low self-esteem and self-confidence plus depression.

I recommend taking the test found on this thread. It should give you a rough idea of your mental situation.

If you can afford it, I'll suggest getting some therapy. No offense but something is obviously wrong. The same applies to me as well.

Alle_Gory said:

A social circle is necessary to be able to socialize. It's part of healthy behavior like eating and sleeping. In order to be mentally healthy you MUST socialize in some way. We are social creatures after all.

Don't you find that you feel really good when you spend time with someone who you vibe with?


Social circles help you get laid. But its indirect, like most other things that help you get laid: having friends (being able to socialize), having a hobby (creativity, passion), having a job (independence, confidence).... etc.

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If one does not have adequately developed social skills, becoming part of a social circle is extremely difficult. For some reason the brain just does not know what to do or how to act in certain social situations and friendships are not formed. Since I graduated High School in 2000 I've made one friend. We weren't friends for longer then six months and that was 4-5 years ago. I've hung out with a handful of girls over the years but each one friend-zoned me and I no longer speak to any of them.

I'm going to join a flag-football team (Intramural Sports) in a few weeks and maybe I'll be able to make some friends.

Paranoid: | Moderate
Schizoid: | Low
Schizotypal: | Moderate
Antisocial: | Low
Borderline: | Moderate
Histrionic: | Low
Narcissistic: | Low
Avoidant: | Moderate
Dependent: | Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: | High

Heh wow, from your results you look like a mostly normal healthy person. I was expecting more...varied results. Though I'm no psychologist and a professionals opinion is best.

Why would having a social circle really effect whether you get laid or not? Honestly, I only have about 2 really close friends. Neither of them really know girls I want to get with but there has got to be another way.

Rhino22 said:

Why would having a social circle really effect whether you get laid or not? Honestly, I only have about 2 really close friends. Neither of them really know girls I want to get with but there has got to be another way.

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How often do you get laid?

Having a social network is very important. The biggest factor is networking. Your friends may have friends who know people and it goes on.

It's also important to have a social circle so you can know of what events are going on. Chances are if you don't know the right people you won't even know about the events that girls go to. If you want to get girls you need to be where they are.

I don't understand. I mean do you even talk to people at work and go to any outings outside of work? Don't you have one friend you can join a bowling league with? (bowling alleys are a hot spot for women). Don't you chat up/build rapports with girls in the gym?

Take a yoga class, make up some **** like your girlfriend recommended you join it. Then after you get to know everyone for a bit and you show them you're cool, fun and confident. Act like you broke up with your girlfriend and say you guys just didn't work (no fun/excitement or some bs) out and then watch some girls show interest.

CarlitosWay said:

I don't understand. I mean do you even talk to people at work and go to any outings outside of work? Don't you have one friend you can join a bowling league with? (bowling alleys are a hot spot for women). Don't you chat up/build rapports with girls in the gym?

Take a yoga class, make up some **** like your girlfriend recommended you join it. Then after you get to know everyone for a bit and you show them you're cool, fun and confident. Act like you broke up with your girlfriend and say you guys just didn't work (no fun/excitement or some bs) out and then watch some girls show interest.

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I work at night and I talk to my co-workers. I really don't have time or the opportunity to chat it up with people at work.

I know people, but they're not friends. I play dodge ball and there are girls that play, but I never hear anybody talk about hanging out later that night or doing anything outside of dodge ball.

Is it perfectly normal to ask someone for their contact information the first time you meet...guy or girl? Or is it more proper to go someplace several times before making a friend?

Why the pity parade? Let's put some things in perspective. At least you've had sex 50 times, some guys your age haven't had sex once (like myself). Your problem seems to be that your not outgoing enough. You've only approached 5 girls in your life? ****, I approach more girls than that in a week, and I only do casual approaching. Try making some friends and learning how to socialize, that will probably help.

And another thing, why pay for *****? Although I've never had sex I can't imagine it being good enough to pay for. Plus I'd imagine there's no feeling of accomplishment sleeping with a hooker that you'd get from pulling a hb9 or hb10.

Anyway, just my thoughts.

^^ y u acted like at least he had sex 50 times was good?? Since he had to pay for it?? That kind if thinking aint good.

I understand what the op is saying cuz his situation is kind of like mines in terms of I'm 25, got my own place, good laying job.. Except that I had sex probably more times then that and never paid for escorts. Also Im very good at making friends.

I'm about to start aproaching more this whole month n go to the gym. Go to the mature thread where I made mines at where it says 25 n single.. I will be doing my approach thread there.. U are more then welcome to start your approaches the same time as me and post yours in there or make your own up. Let's all get through this approach rejection crap once and for all.

AlmostThere! said:

I work at night and I talk to my co-workers. I really don't have time or the opportunity to chat it up with people at work.

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What do you do? I work in retail part time and I still find a way to sneak in time for socializing. I make friends at work, school, hobbies. It doesn't matter. If I get along with that person, I get their contact info and try to arrange hanging outside of work.

I know people, but they're not friends. I play dodge ball and there are girls that play, but I never hear anybody talk about hanging out later that night or doing anything outside of dodge ball.

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Shy eh? You need to start small. Co-workers are great. That's how I did it. Just kept fvcking up the socializing at work and school until I finally got it. I was a bit of a social retard thanks to my upbringing. Fvcking useless parents...

Is it perfectly normal to ask someone for their contact information the first time you meet...guy or girl? Or is it more proper to go someplace several times before making a friend?

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Depends. Sometimes if there's a time constraint I go for the kill early. If I have time to chill and think about it, then I will. I don't make friends easily. I take my time to consider what I'm doing. I socialize with almost everyone though.

Depends on you.