Afraid I may have met my match. Need encouragement from the boys!!

Gentlemen, since So Suave opened my eyes nearly 10 years ago I have seriously enjoyed life and banged a hell of a lot of women with relative ease compared to the AFC I was before.
BUT.....
I've met this girl and she is doing my head in. She's 25, fit, pretty, smart and funny. I think I'm just in lust with her at this point but find myself getting more and more drawn to her.
We haven't had sex but we have hooked up twice when she was drunk out with her friends before her friends spirited her away from my clutches.
I think I've managed to GET and HOLD her attention by using all the old tactics I've learned from this site but I just can't seem to get her to give in to her attraction to a point where she will have sex with me or even just meet me for a date. She doesn't say 'No' to my invitations but avoids answering which is most frustrating.

A few points:
1) She gave me her number without me asking
2) She texts or emails me every day and night FIRST (unfortunately I reply nearly every time which I know is a no-no but I'm cutting back!)
3) She sent me a cake to my work for my birthday recently
4) She left a party to meet me at a hotel where I was with my friends on the night we first hooked up

So I can gather that she does find me at least interesting and probably attractive and probably different to every other guy who worships the ground she walks on.
But I feel myself losing my cool. Every old trick I throw at her she seems to parry away with hardly a thought and so I go back to the drawing board. I'm also starting to doubt myself and fear I may stray from the DJ path in my attempts to fully win her over.

One thing I'm thinking is that she's just an attention-seeker who loves leading men on and driving them insane.
I think she might be just using me to relieve her boredom and although she has kissed me a few times, she has no intention whatsoever of actually sleeping with me or even meeting me alone and sober.

Basically I need some theories from you other guys (drawing on your own experiences I'm sure) about what might be going on and also what tactic to apply next.
I'm floundering here boys and I need a boost!!!! I want to walk away but my pride (and her amazing breasts) make me want to win this battle and gain a real sense of achievement.

Sorry for the long post. Thanks

Greasy Pig said:

So I can gather that she does find me at least interesting and probably attractive and probably different to every other guy who worships the ground she walks on.
But I feel myself losing my cool. Every old trick I throw at her she seems to parry away with hardly a thought and so I go back to the drawing board. I'm also starting to doubt myself and fear I may stray from the DJ path in my attempts to fully win her over.

Click to expand...

Why do you think you are different in her eyes? You are doing mostly what all those other fawning chumps are doing- you just don't realize that you are doing it but with a little more sophistication that they do.
Look, you are hovering on the brink of the FriendZone here.
If she was "feeling it " for you she would have made it known in unmistakeable ways - woman do that.

IF I were you I would slowly withdraw what she values - my attention and affection. IF she chases after you then you have a shot. IF she does not then you are just her current entertainment.

Alternatively (if you have BIG balls) you could try one of my favorites- you LJBF her. This tactic has huge shock value. Women like this NEVER get dumped or FZ 'ed ,and the shock to their ego undermines everything she believes about her own fabulousness. Doing this gives you back the frame ( albeit damaged as it is) One way that she probably believes that she can regain control is by tossing the golden pvssy at you.
At the moment she is getting most of what she wants from you for free.

Try this -
You, " You know HB, I believe that we have such a fine time together that we have the makings of an awesome friendship - you and I would make the best pals - WITHOUT ANY OTHER EXPECTATIONS."

Shut up and watch her reaction-

When I'm stuck in a situation like this, I use an old SS advice (I believe it was from Anti-Dump). It goes like this: let's assume that you've already had sex with her and it's trivial to nail her again (e.g you're already in a sexual relationship with her) - what would you do with her? How would you act around her?

That advice is for killing that desperation.

Right now I think that girl is drunk on the foreplay she's doing to you and doesn't want it to stop.

If you've got one on one with her and still can't get past the LMR, then you'll have to manipulate the hook - your attention - to make her chase you. She's enjoying this game too much so if you withdraw your attention, she'll likely fall for it. But you'll have to hold your ground and don't let her call your bluff.

I was in a similar situation 6 months ago, did all of the above, including jophil28's LJBF move, and nailed it straight after that. I ended up LJBFing her for real though.

jophil28 said:

Try this -
You, " You know HB, I believe that we have such a fine time together that we have the makings of an awesome friendship - you and I would make the best pals - WITHOUT ANY OTHER EXPECTATIONS."

Shut up and watch her reaction-

Click to expand...

Watch her say, "Yes, I agree. Let just be friends."

Hahahaha.

Yes gentlemen. I fully expected to have my balls broken by the master DJers. I don't claim to be any more than a willing apprentice and really like jophil's sig. If I feel the need to post something about her, then I should just walk.
I agree, I probably have been giving off a chump vibe without thinking I was but all I can say in my defence is that the approach I've used with her has worked before on other chicks.

BUT

I took jophil's first piece of advice and totally ignored her today. The third email she sent me was 'What's wrong?'

I didn't reply for an hour and then just said: 'Nothing. It's all good!'
She sent two more emails which I didn't reply to.

She sent me a text tonight asking if I was ok and I just told her I was out having drinks with some footballing mates.
She then invited me over to her place tomorrow night for a Christmas Eve drink! WTF?

My tip is that she'll go through all this and then tomorrow at the moment of truth she'll make some excuse as to why she's suddenly unavailable. But anyway, we'll see.

Thanks again for the arse-kicking and advice fellas.
I'll be sure to post an update.

Greasy Pig said:

I took jophil's first piece of advice and totally ignored her today. The third email she sent me was 'What's wrong?'

I didn't reply for an hour and then just said: 'Nothing. It's all good!'
She sent two more emails which I didn't reply to.

She sent me a text tonight asking if I was ok and I just told her I was out having drinks with some footballing mates.
She then invited me over to her place tomorrow night for a Christmas Eve drink! WTF?

Click to expand...

Hey GP, you are embroiled in a tustle with a woman who is trying to get the upper hand with some old tricks from girl land. You and she are playing tug-of- war with 'the frame' and she has a tighter grip at this stage.

MY guess is that she will be planning to lure you to her place with an implied promise of nookie( it is always in the background) BUT right about 11pm she will suddenly "feel tired" and tell you that she needs to get up early and then show you the door.

Your ' takeaway ' with the email exchange seemed to elicit the desired response in her - so do more of it like this >> I would go to her house for 'a drink' and then tell her at about 10pm that you have to be 'somewhere else' and thank her, and then leave quickly.

Watch for her reaction.

Jophil, you have nuts like bowling balls. That is exactly what I should have done but I did end up getting my hands on her...a bit of dry humping and under-the-shirt nipple tweaking.
She stopped me when I went for the bra clip at which point I threw her off me and said: 'All right, I'm flogged. I'll hit the road.'
Haven't contacted her yet the next day. We'll see what the next chapter holds.
Thanks mate.
PS: What would be an effective tactic now? Not contact her at all? Organise another date? Wait for her to initiate?
Cheers.

Greasy Pig said:

Jophil, you have nuts like bowling balls. That is exactly what I should have done but I did end up getting my hands on her...a bit of dry humping and under-the-shirt nipple tweaking.
She stopped me when I went for the bra clip at which point I threw her off me and said: 'All right, I'm flogged. I'll hit the road.'
Haven't contacted her yet the next day. We'll see what the next chapter holds.
Thanks mate.
PS: What would be an effective tactic now? Not contact her at all? Organise another date? Wait for her to initiate?
Cheers.

Click to expand...

I think that even if you wait for her to initiate contact ,you will jump at the chance to see her and you might wind up in the exact same situation next time - at her bra clip barrier. She is toying with you because she can read your lust and her ego hunger is what is driving her game playing.
This woman does NOT want to fvck you - well, at least not under the current circumstances. She owns the frame and she has taken it by playing HER FAVORITE game of "maybe you will fvck me , maybe not, but keep trying."
YOu are right at the edge of the FZ and if you continue to do what you have been doing in the same way, she will LJBF you to end the game on her terms.
I would just ignore her. Put her on the shelf until she starts chasing YOU seriously - inviting you around for a drink is not serious.
A serious move would be perhaps inviting you for a weekend away in the country .
I would turn down the next TWO trivial invites that she offers you unless they are BIG.
Women like this need a serious dose of IGNORE and NEGLECT.

Danger said:

As Jophil states, she needs some serious dosage of "ignore".

Let's looks at this for a moment from her point of view.

She has a man she thinks is fun and if he plays his cards right, she will eventually "let" him sleep with her.

You are busy trying to get in her pants and she is pulling the strings to get what she wants before she gives it to you. Her "wants" are of course, attention. You are paying but you are getting nothing in return. And should she eventually decide to have sex with you, it will be a "reward". She has this frame and she knows it.

Make no mistake, you are being conditioned. While you are thinking of riding her, she has already thrown a saddle on you and you have yet to throw her off.

Click to expand...

Hey GP, Danger speaks...his words above are on the money.

I agree with every word. But fuk it's hard. The only contact she has made with me since we hooked up three days ago was a stupid Facebook comment on a post I made.

I'm sure everyone's been in this situation: I'm thinking that maybe she is old fashioned and expecting me to make all the plays. Maybe she's thinking I just considered her a random hook-up and don't want to see her again if I ignore her.

I will stay strong but I've got to harden the fuk up a bit more.

One BIG thing I neglected to mention which I thought I had is that she works in the same building as me and I run into her a fair bit. I think the face-to-face ignore might be effective too.

Greasy Pig said:

I agree with every word. But fuk it's hard. The only contact she has made with me since we hooked up three days ago was a stupid Facebook comment on a post I made.

Click to expand...

THis situation is one in which sex( or it's withholding ) is being used as a commodity of bargain. This may not be blatantly obvious but it is what it is.
GP, if I were you I would go to radio silence. and then get out there and start chatting to some other women. ( THe casino is overflowing with puzz right now)
Also, there is ONEITIS in your posts - not good.

Yeah, true talk Jophil. To tell you the truth, I wrote my last about 10 minutes after this other chick I've been nailing decided to go completely Cluster B on me...accusing me of using her and crap like that. This was just hours after we'd spent a pleasant afternoon together. Then she tried to add me as a friend on Facebook!!!!! WTF? It spun me out a bit but I've recovered.
Love the call on the dirty cas. you talking about inside or at Prince Albert or Atrium? Broadbeach in general has been heaving with HBs lately.

Greasy Pig said:

Love the call on the dirty cas. you talking about inside or at Prince Albert or Atrium? Broadbeach in general has been heaving with HBs lately.

Click to expand...

I do pretty good in the gaming area...lots of two's and three's just walking around.
Atrium is good - but squeezy .

Greasy Pig said:

...after this other chick I've been nailing decided to go completely Cluster B on me...accusing me of using her and crap like that. This was just hours after we'd spent a pleasant afternoon together. Then she tried to add me as a friend on Facebook!!!!! WTF?

Click to expand...

Ha ha ! I think that I dated her mother :crazy:

Update for all who care:
Thought I was doing well. Keeping contact to a minimum and going against every instinct I had to convince this girl to at least give me something concrete to go on. She'd send me the occasional text or email, telling me she'd 'definitely' like to see me sometime very soon and sh*t like that.
Then on Saturday, she invites me over. I was going to see a movie so I told her I'd drop in on my way. Anyway, we had a great afternoon just talking **** and it was so positive that I actually thought she had come across. I left after an hour or so thinking it was in the bag so I allowed myself to have all these positive thoughts.
BUT
Then on Sunday night, I get a phone call from this chick I know who's going out with a guy I work with and she's hysterical. She's just gone through his phone and found he (her boyfriend and my workmate) has been nailing this chick who's been leading me on!!!
AND he's been encouraging me the whole time to go for this girl.
Wow. It's been funny watching all the **** unfold between the three of them at work and I'm glad I wasn't fully involved with this girl. But just goes to show, women are fuked.
Just thought I'd end this sad and sorry tale with this update. It's really laughable.
She's tried to explain herself and say sorry but......NEXT!!!! Ha ha.

That's funny as hell.

Greasy Pig said:

Update for all who care:
Thought I was doing well. Keeping contact to a minimum and going against every instinct I had to convince this girl to at least give me something concrete to go on. She'd send me the occasional text or email, telling me she'd 'definitely' like to see me sometime very soon and sh*t like that.
Then on Saturday, she invites me over. I was going to see a movie so I told her I'd drop in on my way. Anyway, we had a great afternoon just talking **** and it was so positive that I actually thought she had come across. I left after an hour or so thinking it was in the bag so I allowed myself to have all these positive thoughts.
BUT
Then on Sunday night, I get a phone call from this chick I know who's going out with a guy I work with and she's hysterical. She's just gone through his phone and found he (her boyfriend and my workmate) has been nailing this chick who's been leading me on!!!
AND he's been encouraging me the whole time to go for this girl.
Wow. It's been funny watching all the **** unfold between the three of them at work and I'm glad I wasn't fully involved with this girl. But just goes to show, women are fuked.
Just thought I'd end this sad and sorry tale with this update. It's really laughable.
She's tried to explain herself and say sorry but......NEXT!!!! Ha ha.

Click to expand...

That is funny stuff. So the entire time that you were talking to this guy and he was encouraging you to get with her, he was banging her? Oh my. NO WONDER she was playing with you and you had such a hard time figuring her out. She knew exactly what you were thinking and up to the entire time because this dude was telling her everything behind your back that you were thinking and planning with this chick! Now that is funny stuff!

Move on! Not worth the time and trouble.

cordoncordon said:

That is funny stuff. So the entire time that you were talking to this guy and he was encouraging you to get with her, he was banging her? Oh my. NO WONDER she was playing with you and you had such a hard time figuring her out. She knew exactly what you were thinking and up to the entire time because this dude was telling her everything behind your back that you were thinking and planning with this chick! Now that is funny stuff!

Move on! Not worth the time and trouble.

Click to expand...

Sucks it had to turn out this way, but it goes back to one of the principles I've learned from this site: you gotta keep spinning other plates. Your initial posts really did seem like you had oneitis, and as it turns out, she was playing you, though not sure to what end.

All that's left is to keep at it and DON'T GET HUNG UP on your next approaches.

This thread made the hair on my neck stand on end!

I went though an eerily similar situation ~4yrs ago - I sure could have used the collective wisdom and experience of the MM posters here.. back then..

And yeah, it seems funny to me now -- but it really *sucked* at the time!

survivorman said:

This thread made the hair on my neck stand on end!

I went though an eerily similar situation ~4yrs ago - I sure could have used the collective wisdom and experience of the MM posters here.. back then..

And yeah, it seems funny to me now -- but it really *sucked* at the time!

Click to expand...

Yeah mate, I hate myself for allowing my guard to drop but I felt I was in control up until the last time I saw her and had such a great time with her that I thought I'd won the battle. So I went from expecting her to never come across and being fairly indifferent towards her to being convinced she was only days away from giving it up. If I hadn't seen her the day before I found out about her slutty ways, I wouldn't have given a crap.
So the first couple of days were bloody hard. I guess I was pissed off because I knew she'd been playing me but not to this extent. That's what hurt the most....and also because I didn't get to see in the raw the most amazing jugs I've seen clothed.
But as my old man said: "Great tits were around in the 60s mate and they're still making them so don't worry about the moll." Wise words.