Kill that desperation!

Being a Don Juan is not a net sum of smooth manuevers and methods but of your own outlook on the world and on women. ANYONE can memorize 'techniques', but FEW can change the way HOW they think. Women will be able to sniff out the former. But with the latter, women will be clawing each other for you.

A Don Juan is a state of mind, not a list of methods and tricks.

This must be stated because it brings us to the subject of 'desperation'.

In the end, we are all desperate with desire. We wouldn't be looking for tips and answers if we did not desire a girlfriend or MULTIPLE girlfriends (being a bit ambitious, aren't we? ). We all want a woman (or women ), but our desire and feelings brings out the desperation traits within us.

Where I work, I ask the women why they found a co-worker to be so desperate. Here are some of their answers:

-always giving the women attention.
-calling all the time (and calling immediately once getting the number, immediately returning a call, etc.)
-taking every opportunity to talk to them (and telling everything about yourself)
-always available.
-NEVER willing to walk away (NEVER willing to disagree, ALWAYS supplicating).
-etc.

What theme can we find in the above? It is that the man puts the woman on the pedestal rather then himself.

Imagine if a woman did all of the above to you. Imagine if a woman was OBSESSED with you, always calling you, always available, and always spending her free time FOR YOU. Any interest you had for this woman would soon evaporate. Why? Because in your own mind you are thinking two things: "No one else must want her," AND "If I can get her OBSESSED about me, I know I can get BETTER girls to be interested in me." Her desperation is turning you off. The same is true for women.

Women are not attracted to desperate men. Period. I've told my co-worker this and his response: "Well, that is just who I am." Eventually, he will realize that the only common denominator in his pattern of crash and burns will be HIM. So if anyone has told you that you're desperate, consider that its true.

There is a KEY to removing desperation forever. There is no simple 'trick' that will kill the desperation. It will not be in how you dress, how you talk, or where you go for dates. No, the KEY is in how you think.

The KEY to killing desperation (and attracting crowds of women) is to THINK and BELIEVE that you are The Great Catch.

Desperate guys do not do this. They see the woman as the prize rather then themselves. They see that the woman must be 'wooed' rather then them. They will, thus, supplicate and become a 'nice guy'. (And nice guys finish LAST.)

If you start treating a woman like precious gold, she will believe she is gold. And once she believes it, she will DUMP YOU because YOU have given her the sense that she is BETTER then you. Once she thinks that, she will want to REPLACE YOU with someone better, because you have given her reasons to believe that YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF HER GREATNESS.

After all, if we think we can ****** someone better, we will. This holds true for both men and women. The last thing we want is to settle for a mate when we could have gotten better. (This is why the element of challenge is so important in the Dating Game.)

The lesson: DON'T GIVE HER A REASON TO THINK SHE IS BETTER. You are the gold; she should be thrilled just to have A CHANCE with you.

The first step in becoming the Prince Charming every woman dreams of is to THINK OF YOURSELF AS A PRINCE.

When you BELIEVE you are that prince, that you are The Great Catch, all the 'desperation' signs you were emitting vanish and an aura of attraction will surround you. Combine this manner of thinking with all the Don Juan skills you know, and you will become irresistable.

Let us look at the desperation signs again:

-always giving the women attention.

Now that you're The Prince, you don't have time to give women attention. A Prince is kind, ENTHUSIASTIC, smiling, yet YOU have things to do. A Prince's time is precious. A woman must win your attention; you shall not give it to them.

-calling all the time (and calling immediately once getting the number, immediately returning a call, etc.)

The Great Catch simply CANNOT call all the time because he has tons of other numbers. The Great Catch is not competing for a particular girl. The girls, rather, are competing for him.

-taking every opportunity to talk to them (and telling everything about yourself)

Why would Prince Charming tell everything about himself to a woman? No, the woman must JUSTIFY HERSELF to him because YOU ARE THE GOODS. The Prince would reveal things about himself only as a reward. The woman loves the mystery in this and sees knowing the Prince as peeling layers of an onion, knowing him GRADUALLY.

-always available.

The Great Catch is busy with many many women! She must fight for your time, NOT the other way around.

-NEVER willing to walk away (NEVER willing to disagree, ALWAYS supplicating).

Prince Charming wouldn't accept ANY disrespect from any woman. If a woman gave him such disrespect, he WALKS AWAY. The Prince KNOWS all these women want to be with him so he can eject at any time.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "Pook, I can't act like a Prince Charming or The Great Catch. I DON'T have tons of women after me." This is reversing CAUSE and EFFECT. ASSUME you are the Great Catch, THINK that you are, and as you think you shall become. It becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy. Treat your hobbies as if they have more value then the women do (or treat your hobbies as if they WERE other women). When you think you are the Great Catch, you will act like it and the women will KNOW that you are.

Women love certain traits in guys. By THINKING you are The Great Catch allows you to emit these traits NATURALLY and without any effort.

-Good looks

You cannot change your genes. But you can change the way how you treat those genes. Does Prince Charming wear raggedy T-shirts? Does the Great Catch walk with his head down? NO! You will wear nice clothes and walk with pride BECAUSE you are proud of yourself. After all, you ARE one of the best. So treat yourself accordingly.

Anyone can wear a suit. But few can wear a suit proudly. Few can wear a suit that seems to fit them naturally and creates an aura of importance. Good carriage, excellent threads, are the CONSEQUENCE by how you think of yourself. Women know this and is the reason why you are judged by this criteria.

-Humor

Girls LOVE humor. Prince Charming and the Great Catch are funny because they know that they, themselves, are fun. They don't worry, "My goodness, she is really cute! How can I attract her!?" They ASSUME she will be attracted and they have fun in the meantime.

Don't be shy. Let your personality SHINE. When you think you are the Great Catch, this should come more naturally because you have nothing to fear.

-Dominance

You are THE MAN. You must be IN CHARGE. Desperate guys will try to be 'nice' in every which way to win the girl (and fail, of course). But Prince Charming and the Great Catch will SWEEP WOMEN OFF THEIR FEET. When you THINK you are the goods, you realize that it is ridiculous to treat a relationship and flirting as walking on eggshells. YOU set the rules, NOT the other way around. After all, YOU are the prize to be sought.

Look at the soap operas and romance novels for grounds of this. Women like to be in the presence of a MAN, not a boy, not a chump, and certainly not a 'nice guy'.

Dominance is also being sure of yourself. Do not speak in a soft tone. Speak STRONGLY and behave STRONGLY. After all, do you think Prince Charming worries about making mistakes? No, so neither should you.

I know, I know. I can hear you saying, "But I must worry about mistakes or else I'll have another 'learning experience' on my hands."

This is a GOOD THING. Let us say that, in a normal conversation, you came across a word you did not know how to pronounce. Most people will utter the word softly for fear of criticism. This is stupid. Say the word LOUD! Let me repeat, say the word LOUD! If you are wrong, you will be corrected. Clearing up mistakes is ALWAYS a good thing and should NEVER be feared.

The same applies with dating. Do not date with hesitation and shyness; date with all conviction. Remember, the biggest risk you can take in life is not to take any risks at all.

-Ambition

When you think yourself as The Great Catch, you KNOW women are not the priority of your life. After all, the Great Catch knows he can get any woman whenever he wants. When you feel good about life, you cease to fear success and demand Life show all that it has. Aim for the moon. If you miss, at least you'll be among the stars.

So in the end, too often men think they need a girlfriend to have their life 'complete'. The consequence is that these men will emit signs of desperation. Success is achieved first through the mind, then through the world, never the other way around.

------------------
Pook
"As you think, you shall become."

Great post Pook!

So true, so true.

AD

Any of you guys worried about not wanting to pretend to be someone else should study this post. It isn't about pretending to be someone else, it's about having self respect and instilling a few good qualities that will make you a better person.

This is very inspiring one question for me remains what I find is that guys have strong confidence levels when they enter a relationship and then it detiorates or they become a nice guy - do you think this is a systematic move from the women in a relationship to transfer the insecurity they have to someone else - what do you guys think?

------------------

This all sounds great Pook, but I have one conflicting question. I always here my friends and other people say; "You cannot be laid back when it comes to girls, you have to be very assertive."(maybe its just New jersey) I liked your advice, but it almost seems like this is a laid back approach with women. How can you be assertive and aggressive without apppearing desperate? I have definitely realized in my 23 years....shy guys and non-aggressive guys get no where with woman.

Hi shakes

How can you be assertive and aggressive without apppearing desperate?

Be selective and picky, not 'on the prowl' or 'hungry'. (Who knows? That next girl may be the one you marry. Might as well have high standards!)

ALWAYS be willing to walk away. NEVER accept low interest responses (AD's posts cover this well).

shy guys and non-aggressive guys get no where with woman.

I am (was) extremely shy and very non-aggressive. You can use it to your advantage!

For Non-Aggressiveness

For some reason, I tend to attract flocks of chicks. They hit on me, touch me, try to get me to ask them out (and I don't, heh heh). Other guys my age I talk to a few have had the same thing. We found out the reason why, as was summed up by what one girl told me:

"You're not like most guys. You're different, intelligent, and SEXIER THEN A GREEK GOD!"

OK, maybe she didn't say THAT. But she did say that I was different and not like most guys. Why? Because I WASN'T hitting on every chick. I wasn't out 'hustling' the girls.

Guys who want a girlfriend hit on girls all the time.

Here are some facts:

Fact A: Guys who hit on girls appear desperate and needy.
Fact: B Girls want guys who don't need girls. (I like AD's metaphor: Be as free as a bird. Girls want to seize that bird and TOSS IT in a cage! That cage is called committment.)

THEREFORE, guys shouldn't 'hit on' girls. (Guys hit on girls because they are needy. Change your thinking and you cease to be needy, and you'll naturally stop hitting on girls.)

I think it is best to treat a chick, no matter how hot and steamy she is, no matter how cute and perfect, as a guy. The only exception is don't talk technical stuff with them like you would with a guy (computers, cars, how to lay chicks, etc.) They will LOVE this. With the girls I like, I talk about THEM and they become more and more attracted to me because guys do not do this.

That is how I used my non-aggressiveness to my advantage. It can be excellent for creating attraction (in some situations). Problem is that you have to turn it off eventually and GO FOR HER. (And you KNOW that she will say, "YES! Oh, this is the luckiest day of my life!" because you think are Prince Charming. It becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy.)

Using shyness as an advantage

Shy people THINK too much. Shy people react to situations when they should be acting/initiating. But when you're on a date or any time talking to a woman you like, you can use your shyness as an advantage. Shy people do not go around talking about themselves or try to sell themselves because they hate talking in general (girls hate this anyway. See? Much goodness already). When she asks you about yourself, give her a general answer and turn the conversation back on her. Shy people's advantage is

they let women flap their gums!

The Art of Conversation is a great article at sosuave.com. She flaps her gums, you take something she said that you agree with, paraphrase it in your own words, and feed it back to her. She will levitate before your very own eyes!

See? Shyness and non-agression can be GREAT virtues rather then the vices they seem to be.

I get my women from the workplace (it makes work seem like recreation!). However, in a workplace setting you have to be careful as a reputation sticks. Go out with every girl and you are labeled a player (which women hate). Hit on every girl there, you will instantly be stamped 'Mr. Desperate' and all the girls will laugh at you. (I've seen it happen to poor chumps.) Act reserved by demonstrating your FUN personality and you will KNOW when they will be DYING for you to ask them out. Sometimes they'll even bring themselves to ask YOU out (which you say no! They become even more intrigued for guys don't turn down girls).

Clubs and parties are not the place, I think, for shy non-agressive people. I get better results when I can talk to people without SHOUTING ALL THE TIME.

You can get away with hitting on women if you won't see them again (in the workplace or classroom, they will remember and reputations stick).

Just because you get a date does not mean you stop being attractive. You must make your attractiveness consistent by continually thinking yourself as the Great Catch or as Prince Charming. For if you DON'T, then you start to put her on a pedestal and have that fatal romance disease known as desperation.

Right now, I'm in a situation where I'm on the verge of dating two women. Even though I've read the articles on this site a billion times and read this forum daily, I can feel myself wanting to 'fall' in infatuation.

It is all in our minds of how we look at the women. See,

Good Pook:

"I wonder what FUN I can have with her! I wonder what NEW THINGS I'll learn about women from her. I wonder what happens if I try this strategy on her..."

Bad Pook:

"Wowza! She is HOT! I hope I look and act all right! I really really hope I don't do anything stupid or dumb tonight."

Notice the difference? When Pook is bad, he places the 'success' of the night on if HE doesn't 'screw up' (which he will because he is worried to death about it). When Pook is good, he places the 'success' factor on the experimentation and fun (which as a result the Pook will come across as fun and different).

Be the Good Pook!

------------------
Pook
"Men will be nice when nice guys get laid."

[This message has been edited by Pook (edited 11-26-2000).]

Thanx for the reply pook.. that is interesting stuff;but lets say this:

I am really not that shy anymore: What I mean in being aggressive is: If I see a chickie at a bar or someplace checking me out I am supposed to go over there and "hit on her" right? If I don't she will see me as shy (which in their eyes I think= low self confidence) or not interested and that would be another opportunity lost! I will not hit on every girl I come in contact with. I will only approach a girl if I think I am getting the signals. You do not see that as desperation do you? I am a good-looking dued out of college, I am nice, tall and pretty smart. I am sick and tired of being alone watching some other "tool-boxes and/or a$$holes rake in the a$$ they do not deserve. In highschool and in college I was shy and very non-aggressive and did not get anywhere. I have gotten more digits in the past 8 months than I had the previous 8 years but many of them have been rejections. Another thing i noticed, older chicks are attracted to me, but the younger ones will not give me the time or day. I am only 23, but people sometimes think I am as old as 28 becuase I act very mature. I am so confused.

Posts like these are exactly the reason why I joined this forum.

Simply Outstanding!


'Survivor

If I see a chickie at a bar or someplace checking me out I am supposed to go over there and "hit on her" right?

Definetely! Only if you want her though.

Isn't it ironic? Girls just STARE at us and WE are supposed to talk to them. But if we STARE, do they talk to us? No, they slap us!

If I don't she will see me as shy (which in their eyes I think= low self confidence) or not interested and that would be another opportunity lost!

Yep.

Don't limit yourself to the ones who are checking you out though. If you see any nice looking chickie (even if the guy they have there might be a boyfriend), go for it! Most chicks are too busy shoving their food in their face or wagging their tongue to scan the room for Prince Charming (which is you!).

I will only approach a girl if I think I am getting the signals. You do not see that as desperation do you?

In my workplace, many guys would hit on 'the hottie' of the place and all the OTHER girls would watch and shake their heads. The guys constantly hitting on girls became the laughingstock of the girls there (a female friend sneakily told me).

If you like a girl, you don't have to wait for signals for her to approach. Approach anyway! Just do it in a 'fun' way, not like a wolf that is on the prowl.

Set a high price to yourself! Treat yourself like gold because you're a Don Juan. And always be willing to walk away.

Desperate guys don't do the above.

One thing I find that really really helps is to have crushes on EVERY woman. Don't let yourself get focused entirely on one until you've gone out with her and she is showing high interest (i.e. no excuses like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't go out with you tonight. You see, my fish have had a crisis of faith and I must guide them through it." This is when you WALK AWAY.)

Jerk stands for 'Just Expecting Respect Kid.' Desperate/nice guys let themselves become doormats. Jerks never will. Besides, Prince Charming would walk away at any showing of low interest/disrespect from a girl.

I am a good-looking dued out of college, I am nice, tall and pretty smart.

You sound like me.

BTW, chicks LOVE tall thin guys. I don't know why, but they will go after them.

An older woman (in her early fifties) asked out why I wouldn't go out with this one girl. It's obvious she likes me, but she likes practically every tall thin guy. BTW, this chick is praised for having 'high standards'.

I replied, "Because she's too short."

Man, did I get scolded. "Pook, you are being superficial. It is what's inside that counts!"

Girls can judge guys by the body but WE are not allowed to. Double standard!

Then again, girls just have to sit there like bumps on a log until a guy asks them out. Even though I hated approaching strange chicks, I'd hate sitting there with inaction much much more.

Also, I like the fact that the women are screaming in agony with their child labor while we're in the waiting room puffing on our cigars!

I am sick and tired of being alone watching some other "tool-boxes and/or a$$holes rake in the a$$ they do not deserve.

They don't deserve them. Any intelligent chick (probably the one you're looking for) wouldn't let herself fall prey to the a$$holes.

The a$$holes seem to have several traits that got them the chick:

1) They never supplicate, never take any $hit from a chick.
2) They had enough nerve to ask her out.
3) They were probably persistant, not fearing to crash and burn.

With me, I notice I have problem CLOSING the deal with the chick. For some reason, I don't seem eager to get in a relationship. I guess the idea of being tied up with someone at the youth of my life is unsettling.

In highschool and in college I was shy and very non-aggressive and did not get anywhere. I have gotten more digits in the past 8 months than I had the previous 8 years but many of them have been rejections. Another thing i noticed, older chicks are attracted to me, but the younger ones will not give me the time or day. I am only 23, but people sometimes think I am as old as 28 becuase I act very mature. I am so confused.

I wouldn't look at it as 'rejection', just as 'low interest' at the time (women don't know what they want. Their interest level jumps all over the place).

I had a friend who liked this girl, asked the girl out, and the girl said, "You're not the type of guy I'd date. You're the type I would marry."

My friend, a bitter angry Nice Guy, responded,

"And you're not the type I'd marry. You're the type that would be excellent for a one night stand!" It was then that she realized her insult.

How are you acting 'very mature'? Like in a gentlemen/business like way?

I tend to make an approach as fun (for me) as possible. I've noticed that eye contact and 'smiling from the heart' (nice article, Allen) always help.

Girls just go with whatever their emotions say. Hot guy = horny state = acceptance of date. Charming, cool, happy guy = comfortable fun state = acceptance of date. Nervous frustrated guy = nervous state = no date = Most of Pook's saturday nights (until I found this site!)

One friend I had, who I was very worried about, was about to put a gun to his head and end it because of the constant pain. So he hung around girls (platonic) and did things together. Though many on this forum may say not to waste time with women in a platonic relationship, these girls always know other girls. My friend hit it off instantly with one of these girls. Now he's engaged.

I think you might be trying too hard. I don't mean being 'laid back' but just be outgoing (as a shy nervous guy I still have probs with) and have fun. You'll meet many more people. And if you don't meet the girl you're looking for, at least you'll have fun.

Live, Laugh, Love

Notice the order?

------------------
Pook
"As you think, you shall become."
"Men will be nice when nice guys get laid."

Everything of success is in how you think. Control your mind and you control your destiny.

I don't know exactly where I got the following article, but it illustrates why women tend to be drawn toward this sort of thinking.

HOW AVERAGE GUYS CATCH BEAUTIES

MEN like Manhattan journalist Steve Vames can relate to "The Tao of Steve," a new filmabout an ordinary-looking guy who scores with women the way Tiger Woods drives a golf ball. Vames, 30, is not a conventional babe, but his young girlfriend Sneha Raja most certainly is. She looks like a model with perfect skin, dark eyes and satiny hair. She's Indian. She's smart. She's thin. "I didn't think I had a chance with her," Vames says. "I'm very regular. I used to think a hot guy would sweep her away from me, but we've been together for three years. A lot of people look at me and look at Sneha and wonder what's going on there." Like "Tao" hero Dex, with his "Zen" lady-slaying philosophies, the charming Vames and many other regular New York guys have discovered their own secrets to making women swoon - without killer looks. Vames has short, somewhat receding, frizzy blond hair, thin lips and a slight build. He is sweet but unassuming. He dresses like a gas station attendant -
****ies and button-down shirts, which are always untucked. But he has a surefire method for snaring women: feigning disinterest. "I'm not wimpy," he says. "But I wouldn't hit on a girl on the subway or pass someone my number in a bar. I pursued Sneha by not making a move on her - for years. It was Zen-like. And eventually, she mauled me," Vames recounts. The average-looking lady-killer is everywhere.
He may not be the best-looking kid on the block, but he's no eyesore either. He
has a decent job, but he's not treating you to Ducasse. He went to an average
state school, where he was a C student.
He has an average body. He has an average life. He never tries to impress the
women, but he always gets the girl.
The good-looking guys slide by on their looks. The rich guys have the allure of
the green. But the average guy can master a formula compensating for his shortcomings.
Witness Ross and Rachel of "Friends," Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett, and, of
course, Dex of "The Tao of Steve."
Dex's all-powerful dating theory relies on Buddhist-type principles, which he
aptly coins, "The Tao of Steve," refering to the likes of Steve McGarrett on
"Hawaii-Five-O," Steve Austin on "The Six Million Dollar Man," or Steve McQueen
in just about anything. The Tao is as follows:
* Eliminate desire.
* Do something excellent in her presence, thus demonstrating your sexual worthiness.
* After you've eliminated desire, after you've been excellent with her, retreat and she will pursue you.
The artsy flick is based on the real-life antics of Duncan North, a 36-year-old, overweight, self-proclaimed average dude from Santa Fe with an endless supply of girlfriends.
North discovered his chick-******ing m.o. by mistake, when he was 16 and hanging out with friends at a bar.
"My friends, who were taller and thinner and better looking than me were hitting on beautiful women like 60-year-old men, saying things like, ‘Oh, you're so pretty,' ‘You have nice hair,' and ‘You're so smart.' So I went with the desireless approach."
Then he "proved to be excellent" by making good conversation with one woman. "After that, I left to go outside and have a cigarette. Five minutes later, she
came out to give me her number."
He perfected his Eastern-influenced technique over years, but stopped consciously using the Tao by his mid-20s.
"Now I just find that if I talk about stuff that I care about and I'm real, girls dig it."
It obviously works: "My friends will tell you that I score right and left and all the time," he says, adding that he's currently casually dating a few women.

His philosophy, as warped as it may sound to some, clearly makes sense to many women - and men who espouse it. He's not offensive and he doesn't come with an obese ego.
"When I deal with women, I don't think I have anything to lose," says another average guy, a husky, 43-year-old Manhattan producer who did not want his name published. "My seductiveness is that I don't approach women with an ulterior
motive. Women can sniff an ulterior motive a mile away and they don't like it. I rely on my conversation skills. I know how to talk the talk and women respond
to that.
"I'm not the Robert Redford of any room," he concedes, "so when I enter a bar, women won't flock to me. But if I meet them at a party or through a friend, I can get a date out of it. I may not have the looks or the body, but I'm funny and smart."
Rob Giniger, a 30-year-old account executive for a software company, deploys "subtle flirting, not coming on too strong."
Giniger says that although he's "mediocre," he has no problem elevating any relationship from friendly and casual to sexual and romantic once he starts hanging out with a woman.
Giniger, a New Jersey resident who's funny, not cheap and dresses well, dates
about once a week.
"You could be a bald guy who's 5-foot-6 and say nothing and you could also be the same guy who's funny and confident, hence, attractive to women," he explains. "Women are looking for a guy who's reliable and cool and you could be that and average at the same time."
But if all a man has to do is play his "reliable," "cool," "good conversationalist," and "funny" card to successfully woo and conquer, then how can the average woman tell if the average guy is genuine or just acting like a
Steve?
Well, if the average guy is solely putting on an above-average act, chances are, he'll slip sooner or later.
As North says, "Faking it is fine, but only for so long. Even in the movie, my character breaks. Because in the end, the guy who's just playing a role is only cheating himself."

Click to expand...

This is how it goes for me:

* Eliminate desire.

I don't need women, they need me. I don't buy them drinks, they can buy ME a drink IF they play their cards right. They can ask me out and I'll accept only IF they match my requirements and are on good behavior.

* Do something excellent in her presence, thus demonstrating your sexual worthiness.

I'm a fast, industrious worker which seems to get attention from my female co-workers. (I suppose I have demonstrated a VALUE to them that makes me worthy)

* After you've eliminated desire, after you've been excellent with her, retreat and she will pursue you.

Don Juans don't 'hit' on girls, rather, girls 'hit' on Don Juans. The girls wonder why I'm not hitting on them like every guy there so I piqued their curiosity and challenge factor. The women then smile seductively and start chasing you!

The article explains, I think, WHY and HOW you get women chasing you. Don Juans don't 'chase' women, they ATTRACT them. Why? Because Don Juans don't NEED women, women, rather, need Don Juans.


------------------
Pook
"As you think, you shall become."
"Men will be nice when nice guys get laid."

Nice thread pook. That line your friend used on that one girl was hilarious---about her being only good for a one night stand.

One comment i would like to say. NEVER buy a girl a drink in a club. I am always arrogant enough to SUGGEST to girls that they should buy my a drink. ALMOST ALWAYS I CAN TELL THAT CAUGHT THEM OFFGUARD AND RATTLES THEM. Some are better at hiding it than others.

Who cares if she ever does buy u that drink, u just made it clear to her that she has to impress u and do some work. U demonstrate that u r different from the rest of the goofs.

But girls that submit that early to u, HELLO, usually are the kind of girls that have good potential for relationships and not just sex.

Originally posted by NEANDERTHAL SUPERSOLDIER:
But girls that submit that early to u, HELLO, usually are the kind of girls that have good potential for relationships and not just sex.

Click to expand...

Interesting. I figured it would be the other way around. Why is this?

Hey pook,

Thats just been my experience.

I do understand your point though.

I should have first said that MOST girls do NOT buy me a drink. So i have a limited amount of references to speak of when talking about girls that have bought me a drink.

It seems like the nice sweet girls dont really understand i am playing a game with them to qualify them when i do that and they go ahead and buy me a drink. I am trying to see how agreeable and flexible girls are as well as show them they have to work a bit to get me. I AM MORE ATTRACTED TO THE NICE SWEET NAIVE TYPE GIRLS. Hence, why in the above post i said they are better for relationships because the girls i want in relationships are the ones who thank god have been the ones who actually have bought me drinks.

The other girls just seem to laugh at my arrogance of asking them to buy me a drink but are intrigued by it. They are the ones that are better at playing games with guys i have noticed.

Actually quite a number of girls are willing to let me share a drink that they buy with them. These girls have been in groups of girls too.

Either way it goes, its obviously not about the drink. The drink is just the test and me asking for the drink is just me proving a point to them.

Pretty good thread Pook! Congratulations on such informative material.

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"Women. They've got half the money in the world and all the pu$$y."

That was the best post I have ever read. It was eloquent and well stated. People should post more posts like that. The thing I liked most about it is that it shows how everything is in your head and it is hard but worthwile to change whats in your mind.

I think it was shakespear who said it best "I think, therefore I am."

> THEREFORE, guys shouldn't 'hit on' girls.

I'm confused. We're supposed to just sit there & hope they come over & talk to us, start buying us drinks, etc.? This sounds like a fantasy.

Originally posted by ChrisFl:
I'm confused. We're supposed to just sit there & hope they come over & talk to us, start buying us drinks, etc.? This sounds like a fantasy.

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Out of all of the qualities an individual can posess to aid him in the pursuit, this is the one that is most difficult to master.

The trick is to express romantic interest in a round about way, not coming off as a desperate, horny loser that wants to score with whatever he can get his hands on.

I think what Pook is saying is that if you can manage to do just enough to make her take notice of you in a romantic way, then play it cool and let her do the pursuing, you're in the drivers seat.

> The trick is to express romantic interest in a round about way, not coming off as a desperate, horny loser that wants to score with whatever he can get his hands on.

Hey, I resemble that remark!

I think thats one the reasons why we must be careful not to become too addicted to this site.

We can teach each other about women, but can't teach each other how to communicate with them. That can only be learned through personal experience, trial and error. We have to get up, turn off our computers, go out and face the rejections.

BBJ is right. Subtle Flirting is by far THE most difficult skill for Don Juans to master.

I could have all of the qualities a woman desires, but if I can't communicate it the way SHE wants it to be communicated, its all for naught.

How do average guys get the beauties?

Simple. They are not average. These are men took the time out the learn how to communicate with women and over time, mastered the skill.

[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 12-07-2000).]

I think it's also important for you don juanists to tell us HOW to get them interested without being too desperate? I mean, if you go and talk to her, she WILL know that you're trying to hit on her? and if you just sit and talk with her, she will think you're a really NICE GUY to be friend with. If you start complimenting her and all that, she will know that you're hitting on her, doesn't she? what should we say to make her COME TO US and not the other way around?
btw. thank you for the valuable information