The flaw in my game.... Being sexual.

The past two years.. I've really made strides, not specifically towards 'game' but as a person. I've become the person I always was, just didn't know how to express. I've made so many friends, and I have a stable social circle. People I just meet tell me that I'm so outgoing, or charismatic, or cool. A bunch of things that SHOULD be helpful, but they aren't because of my deficiencies. I can hook them on the line, but i can't reel it in. I made a bunch of "friend-girls" this past year, just to widen my social circle, and it has helped, but the one things that gets me, is that they tell me, "You're so different from most guys. That's why we're friends with you." Now, this, this isn't necessarily a 'Good' thing. This, in my case is a terrible thing. This means that girls don't view me sexually AT ALL. I describe my self as of right now as a guy who's going to be successful with women.... Later in life... When they have SO MUCH BAGGAGE, and 2 kids out of wedlock. You know what I say? I say screw that.

These girls tell me that I've got a lot going for me, but yet they only view me as a 'friend.' They tell me I'm different because i'm not trying to get in their pants. They say everything to keep me hooked. I have so much trouble being sexual i guess. Maybe i'm uncomfortable, or maybe I don't do it because i'm really close to my sister, and I would knock the sh!t out of any guy who took advantage of her.

I've got 2 major things going for me: I'm funny, and I'm charismatic. Where does this lead to? The friend zone. But what if I were to add a little 'sexuality' in the recipe? That's something i'm still struggling with. I don't know why, but i'm unable to do that. I don't even know where to begin. I have the right mindset, it's just idk... But I HAVE TO FIX THIS. I owe it to myself. Who's willing to help an average, frustrated, highschooler?

Jokerlsk said:

I've got 2 major things going for me: I'm funny, and I'm charismatic. Where does this lead to? The friend zone. But what if I were to add a little 'sexuality' in the recipe? That's something i'm still struggling with. I don't know why, but i'm unable to do that. I don't even know where to begin. I have the right mindset, it's just idk... But I HAVE TO FIX THIS. I owe it to myself. Who's willing to help an average, frustrated, highschooler?

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Jokerisk....man,I got the feeling that even if someone come along and told you EXACTLY WHAT TO DO,line by line,precept by precept,you'd still find a way to get out of it and a REASON to fail.


Could you do me a favor?


I have one question for you. Just one,and I want you to answer it.



OVER a year ago,you made a thread called,"Am i cursed???".



I gave you a suggestion to try,and THIS was your reply.


So my question is....

What happened?

Way to be a cynic.... No, Igetit!, I did start doing that, and it's helped me a lot. It's given me "friends" something I lacked a year ago. I have a bunch of them, and i do treat them equally. I for some reason, can't escalate with kino, and sexuality and stuff. Sure, i 'can' implement kino, but I can't take chances. I can't gamble. I can do simple stuff, like put my arm on her shoulder, or playfully punch her, but I can't make it intimate. When a girl hugs me, it's always because SHE initiates it. Not because I do. That's what I'm trying to figure out.... How do i become the one in control. It's like i'm bound by my own mind. I don't think you've realized how much i've improved.

Jokerlsk said:

Way to be a cynic....

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Wow,looks like all those "cynic" classes are finally starting to pay off.

About freakin' time.

Jokerisk said:

I for some reason, can't escalate with kino, and sexuality and stuff. Sure, i 'can' implement kino, but I can't take chances. I can't gamble. I can do simple stuff, like put my arm on her shoulder, or playfully punch her, but I can't make it intimate.

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This is a tightrope for you because I know you've said on numerous occasions that since you're only 16 (now 17) that you don't want to have sex right now because you don't want to have to deal with things like diseases and teenage pregnacy.




It's a tightrope because you have to do SOMETHING.


There has to be some type of physical act on your part because if not,the girl is going to think you're weird,not attracted to her,not something else.



And she'll be turned off.


You can't be "different" Jokerisk. You don't have to hop in bed with the girl,but you need to...I don't know,hug her,kiss her,grab her boob or something.



It's better for you to try and get turned down than not to try at all.



At least she'll know she's dealing with a MAN.


If you don't do anything,but you just keep hanging around her,you're a shoe-in for the friendzone.



Forget all the kino nonsense and just ask a girl out.


That in itself is being sexual.



All that stuff you're talking about is NOTHING.



You say you want to be the one in control? Fine,ask a girl out.



Ask her out,TELL HER what type of out fit you'd like to see her in,TELL HER where you two are going for the date/the time of the date.



She'll appreciate you being the MAN and being in control of everything.




If she gives you any flack when you tell her what you'd like to see her in,be like,"Look,I approached you. I asked you out. I risked getting rejected. I'm paying for the date. If I can do all that,I don't think you lookin' pretty for me is too much to ask".


Try something like that out. You'd be AMAZED at the results.

You're completely right... I have to get out of my comfort zone.. If I don't now, I may never. I just have to try, persevere, and all of that nonsense people preach, but rarely practice. Sadly, that's me, and I have to fix it.

I've always been sort of a quitter. Someone who rarely gets out of his comfort zone. I always stick with things i know i can control, and if i can't, i just quit. But this is something I can't quit. This is life.

Build attraction and ask a girl out.

Jokerlsk said:

You're completely right... I have to get out of my comfort zone.. If I don't now, I may never. I just have to try, persevere, and all of that nonsense people preach, but rarely practice. Sadly, that's me, and I have to fix it.

I've always been sort of a quitter. Someone who rarely gets out of his comfort zone. I always stick with things i know i can control, and if i can't, i just quit. But this is something I can't quit. This is life.

Build attraction and ask a girl out.

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When girls tell you that you're fun to be around and better than all the other guys and they're not competing or trying to get you alone at your place or theirs they've already determined that saying things like that boost your self-esteem temporarily.

That really shuts them down. I do hope you aren't getting into conversations with them telling you about how bad other guys treat them (the ones they rock all night) and it's too bad those guys couldn't be more like you. :nono:

The thing is, is that it doesn't boost my self esteem. I hate hearing it. They say it, and I know what it translates to. I just try to shut it out of my mind.

And i don't get into converstations with them about other guys. I never tolerate that bs.

Two Things:


1. I had experiences where I was just like you described personality wise and I had women that just came after me sexually because they naturally wanted me. If you are charismatic, cool, etc. and the woman is NATURALLY attracted to you, your work is done. So I guess I don't understand why you are striking out all the time other than something else is up with you or the women you try to get with and you are not telling us. The dynamic would take care of itself.


2. You are going for women that you are not naturally physically suited for and you just haven't figured it out yet.

IOW- if you are going for women who naturally physically gravitate to a guy with certain key features, a certain tone of voice, complexion, build, etc. and you don't have that, then you are going to strike out, everytime. When you find a woman who likes your natural presence/features, then your work is done as far as the 'pickup' goes.

Jokerlsk here is a simple one. Try looking at their lips more often when talking to them. This is what people do when they are getting to kiss. If you do this to them during conversations it will kinda throw them back a little and tease them a bit.

I used to have trouble with kino...just start by touching a girl on the shoulder when you're teasing her...if she initiates, just mirror whatever she did, that's safe...kino was really awkward and unnatural for me at first, it just takes practice. Confidence helps too.

Your problem is you havnt realized your a man yet. All these years you've been alive and you still havn't realized you have a penis. I'm going to teach you now what a penis is. Because noones taught you this yet.

So what is a penis?

A penis is a mans sexual organ. A penis is your manhood. A penis is the reason why your a male and not a fe-male. A penis is the reason why your a man and not wo-man.

So if you have a penis what does that make you?

If any of you have penises it makes you a man! It makes you a fvcking man!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you ****ing read that correct???

If you have a penis then it makes you a man!!!!!!!!!


So fvcking act like the man you are ! Your penis is your best friend. Stop ignoring him!!! He's been with you since you were born and he's going to die with you!!!

Now let your penis make friends with those girls viginas and let them play together you little sh*t!!.

The only way a girl can know if your a man is if you show her your penis.

Your penis has been hidden since you were a baby. It only gets to see the light when you take a piss and take a shower.

Its time to let the penis freeeeeee!!!!!!!!! Let freedom ringg!!!! Let freedom ring!!!!!

Free your peniss!!!!!

radiodude... It's because I choke. I know what to say, I know how to say it.. I just rarely perform. I am cool, funny, charismatic... Guys love me. I've got a bunch of friends, but with girls... It's a different game. Instead of saying, "Wow, you look great today." in a soft charming voice. I say, "You look better than usual today," or "Why are you so dressed up?"

I also put up a ****y, arrogant persona when i'm not really like that at all. For example, today i was talking to one of my (girl) friends, and she was acting like she knew me and could read me like a book. But wow... She really doesn't know me at all. I pretty much told her she didn't know me at all, and she was like, "And if I don't it's only because you don't tell me nothing....." and I said, "Figure it out if you wanna know so bad."

Jokerlsk said:

radiodude... It's because I choke. I know what to say, I know how to say it.. I just rarely perform. I am cool, funny, charismatic... Guys love me. I've got a bunch of friends, but with girls... It's a different game. Instead of saying, "Wow, you look great today." in a soft charming voice. I say, "You look better than usual today," or "Why are you so dressed up?"

I also put up a ****y, arrogant persona when i'm not really like that at all. For example, today i was talking to one of my (girl) friends, and she was acting like she knew me and could read me like a book. But wow... She really doesn't know me at all. I pretty much told her she didn't know me at all, and she was like, "And if I don't it's only because you don't tell me nothing....." and I said, "Figure it out if you wanna know so bad."

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Then you're doing it wrong. You're not a threat with the women.

You've got to be top dog, with men following, not loving you.

I'd also guess that means you should look at how much time you try trying to impress friends and fit in. Really, it can be very subtle so don't outright dismiss the idea. Men should be respectful and friendly but to impress YOU and display some jealousy when women are around about how much attention you get. If they aren't jealous of that attention in front of the women, then your entertainment is benefiting them and probably too much intended to "please" than to attract and excite women.

The best thing to do is this...you will find that there will be some girls who are interested in you sexually. Dont worry if they are not 8's or 9's. Get experience with them.

Do you have a problem with initiating kino or maintaining? Because I've found that initiating is just like approach anxiety in that once you're anxious about starting it but once you do and she's doing it back you're no longer nervous and it just flows. That's what it's like for me, at least.

you say you're funny and from some of your examples you seem like you're pretty quick on your feet. have you tried just making funny sexual jokes? that's my go to move if i feel a friendzone coming on, and the reason it works for me is because i, too, am quick on my feet and funny.

it's all about keeping that sexual tension alive and growing between you and whatever girl you're gaming at the moment.

You're right... I don't go about things the way an alpha would... Not that I'm purely beta.. I have the ability to lead, it's just I never make a big deal about it. I'm not very aggressive at all. Maybe i'm too laid back and relaxed.. I don't stress much about anything, and I tend to go with the flow, which may be a problem. I crack jokes a lot... and most people think of me as a really funny person, but i'm not really someone people follow. I don't do the stereotypical highschool bull**** most of my friends participate in. Like i've said before, i don't drink, smoke, screw, etc.. I like to march to the beat of my own drum, and I don't typically follow the crowd unless it suits my best interest.

I may be too much of an entertainer however, and that has to stop. I care too much about figuring out what to say, instead of just doing what I feel like. I overanalyze most situations like it's ww2. Like i study conversation and say certain things, basing it off of what that girl will say in response...

You're right... I don't go about things the way an alpha would... Not that I'm purely beta.. I have the ability to lead, it's just I never make a big deal about it. I'm not very aggressive at all. Maybe i'm too laid back and relaxed.. I don't stress much about anything, and I tend to go with the flow, which may be a problem. I crack jokes a lot... and most people think of me as a really funny person, but i'm not really someone people follow. I don't do the stereotypical highschool bull**** most of my friends participate in. Like i've said before, i don't drink, smoke, screw, etc.. I like to march to the beat of my own drum, and I don't typically follow the crowd unless it suits my best interest.

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You're definitely a step above everyone if you've come this far. Based on what you say here it sounds like you're not yet a leader, but you're not a follower either. It sounds like you just need to learn to lead. Everyone else are followers, and the toughest issue for most people is breaking out of that follower mindset. The fact that you're already above that is really good and you should be proud of that. Once you've come this far learning to lead is not that hard, you just need to develop some new habits and you will be set. But you should be proud of the fact that you're your own person and you don't simply go with what everyone else is doing; that's an admirable quality.

Initiating..... That's the hard part.. Girls TRY to give me hugs all the time.. Every time i'm with them, but most of the time I just brush it off, or tell them i don't want one. I don't have a problem putting my hand on their shoulder, or leading them through a crowd, or playfully punching them and stuff..... But the more personal it gets.. The more uncomfortable I get, and if i'm uncomfortable, then the girl sure as hell is.

One of my best friends, she's a girl btw, and i'm not attracted to her at all. She used to date one of my good friends, and she was describing me and him as foils as eachother. We get the same job done. We're charismatic, funny, likable, confident. People just like us. They're gravitated towards us. The difference is that she said we're too different extremes. He's OVERLY sexually, while I'm not sexual at all. ALL he talks about is sex, and I eject from the conversation when it's brought up. He screwed a girl at CHURCH CAMP, and i've yet to even kiss a girl. He's the definition of a player, and i'm well not. Not that i'm super afc or anything..

I feel like if i do hug someone I'm attracted to it'll make an impact because i rarely hug anyone. One of my other friends, that's a girl. I hugged her the other day just to see her reaction, and she was like, "Wow, that really felt good. What's gotten into you?" I'm not attracted to her at all.. I just wanted to see what the reaction would be.

I guess i'll have to try it out on girls i am attracted to

being sexual for a teenager... i remember in my teenage years i always liked to get bold with woman. i would walk them around with my arms around their waist or something and take them to a secluded area (isolation) and just plant a kiss on them... if you do this to your targets they will be very attracted to you.

or lets say i meet them on the streets i would arrange a meetup the day after to come over my house for some drink. the girls don't necessarily have to drink though. i learned to just put their arm around their shoulder or something to know if girls would be down and then i'd say let's check out my room and bring her upstairs and go bold and go for another kiss, making it very easy to escalate to more.

just listen to your gut and don't let fear hold you back, be bold.

i'm 24 now and i still do the same things.