>>>**damage Control**<<<

Hello Gentlemen,

Let me try to keep this short & sweet. Ive been going back & forth with this one chick for a good 2-3 months now (push/pull), and for the last month or so, she's been pressing hard. When I say pressing hard, I mean calling/texting everyday just to check in and have super quick conversation. Now with that said, we've seen each other at least once a week for the past month, and decided to turn up the temperature.

Turn up the temperature I did by finally kiss closing with a spectacular make out session last Monday. She hits me up the next day, and I play it super cool but she basically confesses her love towards me and says "I've been thinking about us, and I like what we are, it feels really nice." I hit her up the following day (Wednesday) asking if she wants to see a show Thursday night, but she says she can't because of work. She then, for the first time ever, takes charge and asks if I'd like to hang out tonight (Wednesday).

I told her I was busy, BUT, if my night cleared up I'd call her. Well, my night ended up clearing up, and I said why not. I hit her up, pick her up, have a cool little dinner, and decide to take her to my place for the very first time.

Now keep in mind, since I kiss-closed a couple days ago AND her profession of love, my intentions were obviously to try to push the envelope and get in those jeans.

Dinner's now over and we're on the freeway and I ask her if she till wants to come over. She says, no, I'm a bit tired. I knew she was playing her little hard to get games so I basically just smashed through those walls and she ends up in my bedroom.

So, longer story short, I'm in bed, movie's on, and she joins me. We're under the covers and I go for a kiss, and she says "We don't have to kiss, I like what we've got going, let's keep it like that."

I was like WTF????? You serious?? I tried (Numerous times) anyhow, and she resisted obviously BUT she let me caress her body and cuddle and all that lame **** for a good 2-3 hours. The majority of the time, I had her wrapped up in my arms, but there was a moment where she laid on my shoulder. Besides that, I was obviously the aggressor.

It's now time to take her home and the vibe was strange. Almost as if I came on a lil too hard and I feel as if I almost pushed her away. I will never apologize for my sexual nature, but at the same time, I feel as if I showed wayyyy tooooo much affection with my physicality.

With that feeling, I'm almost sure I may pushed her away.
Oh and to top it off, on her Facebook account she mentions, "Dont force yourself on anyone! It is NOT a turn on and will push the person away. Magic happens when two people are really into each other."

When I saw that, I was like.....WTF, are you serious??????? So, yeah, I guess I'm a bit shocked as she was the one initiating contact as well..... :\

This situation is all new to me, and I was strategizing on how to go about.

So now, the damage control, if there is any even damage done...I'm not sure. What do you guys think???


Here is what I've came up with:

1.) Chill back for a loooong while till SHE hits me up.

2.) Hit her up and create some humor regarding on how strong I was coming and ask her out again.

or

3.) Just hit her up and play it like nothing ever happened that night, with a touch of aloofness.

PLEASE, to all the Don Juans, give me some great insight. This is all fresh to me and I'm a bit confused, to say the least.

Thanks in advanced!

"We don't have to kiss, I like what we've got going, let's keep it like that."

Click to expand...

Here's what she means : "I'm not enough into you." That implies she might NEVER be into you or maybe you'll get lucky BUT in order to "maybe" getting lucky you need to LAY DOWN. Let her come to you. If you try to contact her to have another date, you're f.cked. Do NOTHING.

My ex pulled that off a couple times ...it just s ucks but there's nothing for you to do but to LAY DOWN. It's unfortunate but in this situation, you're F UCKED. You get a blue balls case and a WTF is she THINKING?

LET HER CHASE YOU .

Don't try to contact her, don't txt her, don't phone her ...

Handcuffs said:

I will never apologize for my sexual nature

Click to expand...

What "sexual nature" ? You pissed around for 2 to 3 months.

I'd personally learn from this error, stick a fork in her because she's probably a write off, Houdini himself would struggle to pull that off, move on. No contact and zero hostility, all sweetness and light towards her if you happen to cross paths though.

You got blueballed for 2-3 months and she still blueballed you when she's in your bed? A definite NEXT.

And that FB status... she's messed up in the head. RUN in the opposite direction!

"Movie night at my place" is a guy's signal for "let's fvck". All women understand that if they accept the offer, they're DTF. She's just playing with you, trying to take control of the frame. You know girls in relationship who walk all over their BFs? This is how those relationships started.

Yeah. This is a real sticky situation. It's been an up & down, push & pull deal. Please understand that she got out of a relationship of 4 years, a bitter one...to my understanding. She was engaged...so it gets real tricky as I know for a FACT she's got CRAZY baggage.

To top it off she's a HB10, a top notch pretty ass woman. I can't stress that enough...so when she's coming onto me hard, I'm going to go hard as well.

But thank you for the feedback guys..I'll lay down big time, for sure.

This is what really pisses me off about women..they come at you hard..then play it down in a heartbeat. The extremely pretty ones ALWAYS seem to do that. It's tiring, to be honest..but I can't help but to love the pretty ones.

Oh hello Mr Rebound Guy!

When you're that guy, remember a few things:

- Don't ever expect a relationship. Move in for the kill as quickly as possible, then leave. In fact, that's the only way you can ever hope to get a relationship with a broad on the rebound.

- Movie night at your place: don't forget the wine! Wine the b!tch up, remove her ASD then go for it.

Anyway, since you've already fvcked up, whatever you do next, DO NOT APOLOGISE, for you've done nothing wrong. Nor "lay down big time" - wtf does that mean? Just keep it cool if you run into her in person and go no contact.

Jitterbug said:

You got blueballed for 2-3 months and she still blueballed you when she's in your bed? A definite NEXT.

And that FB status... she's messed up in the head. RUN in the opposite direction!

"Movie night at my place" is a guy's signal for "let's fvck". All women understand that if they accept the offer, they're DTF. She's just playing with you, trying to take control of the frame. You know girls in relationship who walk all over their BFs? This is how those relationships started.

Click to expand...

OH MY...you know what Jitterbug, I EXACTLY see your state of mind. It's so true....wow, I'm enlightened. She's a psychology major, and I know for a fact she uses those techniques to throw me off. She's trying to dominate my frame.........damn. How trippy is that...I didn't see it coming.

Thanks!

No worries mate. I've been there with 3 different psychology majors... although I did bang the last one!

They do make the chase fun, but ultimately they want power over you and that's when you lose if you keep playing into their game.

Jitterbug said:

Oh hello Mr Rebound Guy!

When you're that guy, remember a few things:

- Don't ever expect a relationship. Move in for the kill as quickly as possible, then leave. In fact, that's the only way you can ever hope to get a relationship with a broad on the rebound.

- Movie night at your place: don't forget the wine! Wine the b!tch up, remove her ASD then go for it.

Anyway, since you've already fvcked up, whatever you do next, DO NOT APOLOGISE, for you've done nothing wrong. Nor "lay down big time" - wtf does that mean? Just keep it cool if you run into her in person and go no contact.

Click to expand...

Hahaha! I don't expect a relationship...that's why I've been slowplaying this one. I have other options, but with this particular one, we actually have a real cool vibe together...A LOT of laughter and overall a great time.

What's ASD? Yeah..we had a couple drinks, but that's about it. Nothing like wine though, that's for sure. LOL.

How the hell did I fvck up though? SHE called ME out, and to me, that's green lights all over the place. I tried to get up in her jeans, but obviously it didn't work...is that fvcking up??

Cool man. Thanks again....I'll go no contact and basically throw her on the sidelines.

Man...you dudes are awesome!!!

Jitterbug said:

No worries mate. I've been there with 3 different psychology majors... although I did bang the last one!

They do make the chase fun, but ultimately they want power over you and that's when you lose if you keep playing into their game.

Click to expand...

HAHAHA!! 3 psychology majors?? OUCH! lol. Congrats on boning the last one!! lol.

YES man...I haven't had a chase like this in who knows how long...damn they're TOUGH. They know the ins & outs, and different buttons to push.

I now have a clear vision though.

By the way Jitterbug, when you say 'ultimately they want power over you', is there a way to flip that scenario????

Jitterbug said:

Oh hello Mr Rebound Guy!

When you're that guy, remember a few things:

- Don't ever expect a relationship. Move in for the kill as quickly as possible, then leave. In fact, that's the only way you can ever hope to get a relationship with a broad on the rebound.

- Movie night at your place: don't forget the wine! Wine the b!tch up, remove her ASD then go for it.

Anyway, since you've already fvcked up, whatever you do next, DO NOT APOLOGISE, for you've done nothing wrong. Nor "lay down big time" - wtf does that mean? Just keep it cool if you run into her in person and go no contact.

Click to expand...

Bingo rapid fast escalation is needed, **** all this pushNpull for 3 months tip, Objective is to smash asap! Unless she is wifey material....but she is a long rebound like greg ostertag

Handcuffs said:

Yeah. This is a real sticky situation. It's been an up & down, push & pull deal. Please understand that she got out of a relationship of 4 years, a bitter one...to my understanding. She was engaged...so it gets real tricky as I know for a FACT she's got CRAZY baggage.

To top it off she's a HB10, a top notch pretty ass woman. I can't stress that enough...so when she's coming onto me hard, I'm going to go hard as well.

But thank you for the feedback guys..I'll lay down big time, for sure.

This is what really pisses me off about women..they come at you hard..then play it down in a heartbeat. The extremely pretty ones ALWAYS seem to do that. It's tiring, to be honest..but I can't help but to love the pretty ones.

Click to expand...

Sir Handcuffs

I respect you playing the field proper (pushNpull) however for 2-3months without smashing is to long. PushNpull can be utlitzed greatly in any type of relationship, but when it's in the intial stage before your smash, when you aren't trying to smash a girl, she goes in a frenzy especially if IL is high because she is use to guys trying to get in those thongs ASAP. it's imperative to to smash right after a month one, why? interest level is sky high, and once pound her out proper it's a wrap. Maybe I'm theorzing but in my experince that's what worked for me in my relationships.

Anyway some girls also get a kick of giving guys BB and get off on leading a guy on

peace

Handcuffs said:

Hahaha! I don't expect a relationship...that's why I've been slowplaying this one. I have other options, but with this particular one, we actually have a real cool vibe together...A LOT of laughter and overall a great time.

Click to expand...

Remind me of my last psych major, although my "slow playing" was about a month. I had a great fun time with her but it was obvious that she was unsuitable for anything further than a fling.

What's ASD? Yeah..we had a couple drinks, but that's about it. Nothing like wine though, that's for sure. LOL.

Click to expand...

Anti-Slut Defense.

How the hell did I fvck up though? SHE called ME out, and to me, that's green lights all over the place. I tried to get up in her jeans, but obviously it didn't work...is that fvcking up??

Click to expand...

Think back on every interaction you had with her. Did you take charge or did she? She called you, she made it look like green lights are all over the place, right? She did not green-light you when you made the moves that YOU want.

Since she just got out of a bitter 4 year relationship and was engaged, I bet you it was her guy that dumped her. This is her trying to take control over another man and getting even with men.

All 3 psych majors I mentioned were the same - they were on the rebound and trying to do the same thing to me.

YES man...I haven't had a chase like this in who knows how long...damn they're TOUGH. They know the ins & outs, and different buttons to push.

Click to expand...

Yes it's a big turn-on. They really know how to push our buttons. Except that it's not a real chase as they never intend to let you catch them.

By the way Jitterbug, when you say 'ultimately they want power over you', is there a way to flip that scenario????

Click to expand...

You have to stand your ground. Stay true to your frame, do not sway and go with hers. Be willing to hit Eject and kick her out if she is not going to submit. Like in that movie scenario, you should've frozen her out. Tell her: "no woman is allowed in my bed without kissing / with her pants on etc." and make her get up and sit in a chair or something if she protests. Do it with some humour, but be firm. Stick to what you want from her and do not compromise.

I said that to the last one and she took her pants off. But with the first two, I allowed myself to slow down to accommodate them and I got LJBFed.

In the end though, they're only good for a pump & dump. You don't want that power struggle all the time, and their ex always have great power over them, that you'll find very hard to defeat (as those women have much greater emotional investment in those guys). They'll either go back to their ex or find a new guy to make his life miserable after they've failed with you.

Solomon said:

Bingo rapid fash esclation is needed, **** all this pushNpull for 3 months tip, Objective is to smash asap! Unless she is wifey material....but she is a long rebound like greg ostertag




Sir Handcuffs

I respect you playing the field proper (pushNpull) however for 2-3months without smashing is to long. PushNpull can be utlitzed greatly in any type of relationship, but when it's in the intial stage before your smash, when you aren't trying to smash a girl, she goes in a frenzy especially if IL is high because she is use to guys trying to get in those thongs ASAP. it's imperative to to smash right after a month one, why? interest level is sky high, and once pound her out proper it's a wrap. Maybe I'm theorzing but in my experince that's what worked for me in my relationships.

Anyway some girls also get a kick of giving guys BB and get off on leading a guy on

peace

Click to expand...

Trust me fellas, this one's different. She's Shy, RESERVED, and SUPER FLY. She gets WOMEN hollering at her....that's how bangin this girl is. I PROMISE. It ain't your typical one. Her options are SKY HIGH. Also it doesn't help that her sister is just as HOT, if not HOTTER, and they happen to be both single...just picking & choosing...

Hmmm..I just came up with an idea. Since this bxtch is all fxcked up in the head, and I have to next her....

Is there any possible way I can make a run for her sister???? hehe.

All 3 psych majors I mentioned are shy introverted girls. At least shy on the outside. Doesn't make them any less cunning. And being that HOT? Even more so!

If you want to give her sister a shot, try a variation of this (adjusted to something slower, and not an one-nighter version): http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/

You may want to keep in mind that if she gets on well with her sister, since they're both single, they would be in a synchronised "men sucks!!!" phase (just like PMS) right now. Bring your A game.

Jitterbug said:

Remind me of my last psych major, although my "slow playing" was about a month. I had a great fun time with her but it was obvious that she was unsuitable for anything further than a fling.



Anti-Slut Defense.



Think back on every interaction you had with her. Did you take charge or did she? She called you, she made it look like green lights are all over the place, right? She did not green-light you when you made the moves that YOU want.

Since she just got out of a bitter 4 year relationship and was engaged, I bet you it was her guy that dumped her. This is her trying to take control over another man and getting even with men.

All 3 psych majors I mentioned were the same - they were on the rebound and trying to do the same thing to me.



Yes it's a big turn-on. They really know how to push our buttons. Except that it's not a real chase as they never intend to let you catch them.



You have to stand your ground. Stay true to your frame, do not sway and go with hers. Be willing to hit Eject and kick her out if she is not going to submit. Like in that movie scenario, you should've frozen her out. Tell her: "no woman is allowed in my bed without kissing / with her pants on etc." and make her get up and sit in a chair or something if she protests. Do it with some humour, but be firm. Stick to what you want from her and do not compromise.

I said that to the last one and she took her pants off. But with the first two, I allowed myself to slow down to accommodate them and I got LJBFed.

In the end though, they're only good for a pump & dump. You don't want that power struggle all the time, and their ex always have great power over them, that you'll find very hard to defeat (as those women have much greater emotional investment in those guys). They'll either go back to their ex or find a new guy to make his life miserable after they've failed with you.

Click to expand...

Yeah, this one has some real severe baggage....her fiance basically played her and ended up impregnating that other woman.

OUCH. lol

I still want to hit though..and I'll hit the showers after that. haha

Your insight is much appreciated man...wow!

Hahaha. Man jitterbug, you're a straight PIMP.

Thanks again!

Hey Jitter, what are you thinking dating 3 WOMEN from the "caring professions" ? And I recall that you recently dated a few random school teachers ? Don't you learn, little nephew ? He he ...

To the OP- Jitter's slap at you for being the "rebound guy" is on the money.

This is a Cat 1 woman. The short definition of a Category 1 is this -A woman who has been separated, divorced or broken up for less that one year.
These women are seeking ego reinflation and validation. Their overwhelming need is to build assurance that they "still got it".
TO do so, she will date a few transitional guys who "attend" to her and chase her for sex. She will tease and flirt to entice them, give out the odd kiss or even a BJ to a guy who is looking to back away. All this provides her with the reassurance that she can still get a guy interested. After a few reps of this ( another year or so ) she is ready to date seriously and she now is on the hunt in earnest for the BBD.

You are one of the transitional guys.

In the next installment I will tell you how you MIGHT turn this around to your advantage

jophil28 said:

Hey Jitter, what are you thinking dating 3 WOMEN from the "caring professions" ? And I recall that you recently dated a few random school teachers ? Don't you learn, little nephew ? He he ...

To the OP- Jitter's slap at you for being the "rebound guy" is on the money.

This is a Cat 1 woman. The short definition of a Category 1 is this -A woman who has been separated, divorced or broken up for less that one year.
These women are seeking ego reinflation and validation. Their overwhelming need is to build assurance that they "still got it".
TO do so, she will date a few transitional guys who "attend" to her and chase her for sex. She will tease and flirt to entice them, give out the odd kiss or even a BJ to a guy who is looking to back away. All this provides her with the reassurance that she can still get a guy interested. After a few reps of this ( another year or so ) she is ready to date seriously and she now is on the hunt in earnest for the BBD.

You are one of the transitional guys.

In the next installment I will tell you how you MIGHT turn this around to your advantage

Click to expand...

Hahah! NICE JoPhil! That's some REAL knowledge..I'm seriously impressed. I had no idea about the whole Category 1 deal. That is just stunning information, WOW. I fxcken totally see IT now. It's all there...she's just seeking validation left & right, it's almost disgusting. She's in it to bump her bruised ego...YES. It's making sense.....too much sense! WOWWW!

Yeah, I understand it's all rebound territory right now..so the cards dealt are really different from my standpoint. I've never dealt with this scenario.

So I'm a transitional guy, yes...now, if you'd be kind enough to share the info about using it to my advantage, that'd be all sorts of awesome!!!

Thankss Man!!!!

PS
What does BBD stand for?

Do a search for 'cluster b' or BPD here. its a good read. I dont think your woman fits the BPD profile, (luckily for you!!!!!) but she may or may not be one of the other ones.

Search 'cluster b discussion thread,' 'marrying a bpd', and 'how to get rid of a bpd.' Warning, you might never see women the same again after reading those, but it may literally save your life.

What the hell did I just read? U "dated" a woman for 2 to 3 months and u never had sex with her? wow.

The only way to "win" women's games is not to play them in the first place.