Facebook Add, IM's, Now What?

Alright, so I'm kind of in this weird situation with this girl and don't know how to handle it from here.

This girl is friends with these two girls I have "known" for years. I went to high school with one of them and was acquaintances with her brother and the other went out with a dude that I went to high school with and used to see semi-often. I'm 22 now, so obviously it's been a while that I've kind of known these girls, but have only really talked to them a handful of times at most.

Anyways, so this girl is friends with these two girls. And she adds me as a friend on Facebook. I've never met her before in my life, and she's pretty damn cute. So I accept the request and wait about a week (because I was busy and wanted to put some time between adding her and talking to her).

So one day she's on FB chat and I start talking to her, asking her if I know her and stuff. Well, the problem is that online I don't really have any game, and plus I was at work and got distracted a bunch when I was talking to her. She seemed pretty into me for a while, but because I was at work distracted somewhat and because I sound kind of lame over IM I felt like after we talked she wasn't as into me. I haven't talked to her since. That was about a week ago.

However, this girl is super f*cking busy; she goes to school, works and has an unpaid internship. She also lives like 20 minutes away, back by where I used to live before I moved to the city. She was talking and saying that her 21st birthday is coming up in about a month and that she'll probably be in the city to celebrate.

So my question is basically, did I ruin my chances with this girl by talking to her over IM? I regretted it afterwards, and realized I should have just sent her a message, which would have given me time craft quality responses and to work on my "internet game" (god that sounds lame).

I didn't get her number because I got busy with something and when I came back she was idle (she said she had some huge project to work on; I think she was talking to me so she wouldn't have to work on it and when I left she started working on it again). Plus I was going to wait until closer to her birthday to get her number and just show up at the bar where she's celebrating. Should I do that or just ask her to come down here for a date? I've never met anyone over FB before so I figured it'd be better to meet in a social environment like a bar before just going to a date.

Opinions?

BUMP

Anyone?

You shouldn't game girls online while at work.

Seriously, you will get distracted by work and by coworkers. That should be obvious, especially if you know your game isn't that good.

What's done is done... Anyway, msg her again and see if you can # close. And use Facebook Chat. And don't worry if she's always busy, if she likes you. Then she will make time for you, simple as that.

So I was pretty buzzed/kind of drunk tonight (still am and about to go to the bar), and while I was sippin on my drank I was talking to this girl. The convo went really well and SHE ended up giving ME her number because she was getting off Facebook and said if I want to text her I should. She was also talking about going to a haunted house this weekend and I told her we should go to this one I have a coupon for and she said "sounds like a plan" so it sounds like she's still interested for sure! Will update as the situation develops.

I love you guys, in the most heterosexual way possible. Sorry, I'm drunk.

Update on this. I'm going to her birthday party tomorrow; dinner then going to the bars.

pleasing to hear this worked out nicely.

success from facebook and IM is very rare imo, it is quite a shame.

success from facebook and IM is very rare imo, it is quite a shame.

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I don't really know if that's true. In my completely inexperienced opinion it could work given that you move quick from FB add to getting the number.

Anyways, last night was certainly interesting. Her ex was there as well as the guy she cheated on him with. She turned out to be super cool and really damn cute. Her ex was hanging on her like he was going out with her still; she dumped him and says she just wants to be friends with him. I honestly think she just keeps him around for the perks (he bought her a puppy today; talk about AFC!). So anyways, I couldn't really get that close to her and so I ended up hanging out with some other people there (the dude she cheated on her ex with was super cool so I ended up chilling with him). And when we got to the bar I started just talking up some other girls.

I think it helped or something because her ex left for a while to get the car and while that happened she was really responsive. I walked her to the car and told her she owes me dinner for making me put up with it, and she agreed. So I'm thinking it'll go good if/when I can get her down here for a legit date, without her AFC-as-**** boyfriend hanging all over her acting like she's his.

JLay87 said:

I don't really know if that's true. In my completely inexperienced opinion it could work given that you move quick from FB add to getting the number.

Anyways, last night was certainly interesting. Her ex was there as well as the guy she cheated on him with. She turned out to be super cool and really damn cute. Her ex was hanging on her like he was going out with her still; she dumped him and says she just wants to be friends with him. I honestly think she just keeps him around for the perks (he bought her a puppy today; talk about AFC!). So anyways, I couldn't really get that close to her and so I ended up hanging out with some other people there (the dude she cheated on her ex with was super cool so I ended up chilling with him). And when we got to the bar I started just talking up some other girls.

I think it helped or something because her ex left for a while to get the car and while that happened she was really responsive. I walked her to the car and told her she owes me dinner for making me put up with it, and she agreed. So I'm thinking it'll go good if/when I can get her down here for a legit date, without her AFC-as-**** boyfriend hanging all over her acting like she's his.

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JLay

you running some solid game, finnally someone in the discussion thread who is doing right, now when you on that date, you know what to do, steer clear from x relationship talk and that crap (trust me I made that mistake a few months back) keep things light and funny, and game the panties of this broad

Solo

p.s. isn't it fun drunk Iming? lol, never done it thank God, but I have drunk text, stay away from it, I lost a potiental plate cause I called her the wrong name :crackup: :crackup:

:crackup:

now when you on that date, you know what to do, steer clear from x relationship talk and that crap (trust me I made that mistake a few months back)

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Hah I don't really want a relationship right now anyways. I mean I'd take one but only if I find a girl that's an exception to that rule. So I think I'll be good on that point.

Set up the date yesterday through text (I like texting because I can review my game later on as opposed to a phone call which isn't recorded, plus it's easier - and more fun - to mess with girls by not responding right away ). Here's how it went:

Me: What are you doing Saturday night?
Her: Umm idk why whats up
Me: Well if you don't have any plans you should come down to the city and if you do you should cancel them and come down anyways.
Her: And do what? Lol
Me: What's the fun in telling you now? x Cafe at 6.
Her: I hate surprises gr

She tried getting it out of me later thru text and FB chat but obviously I held my ground. At one point she was like "I'm not coming down if you don't tell me" and I just responded saying "yes you are". So it's going really well so far.

I'm planning on going to this bar/cafe for drinks and then going to this bowling alley that has a bunch of bars, pool tables, arcade games, etc... After that I kind of want to go play some shuffleboard and then there's this party I was going to go to that night. Seems like a lot but I'll figure it out later.

p.s. isn't it fun drunk Iming?

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Drunk IM'ing is a lot more satisfying. Plus it's more acceptable because people are on AIM/FB chat because they want to or are open to chatting, as opposed to when you drunk text some girl late at night and wake her up or some ****.

Alright so she flaked on me...sort of. I had this feeling in my gut that this was going to happen. Anyways, here's how it went down:

So it's 4pm on Saturday night, and I haven't heard anything from her since I set up the date a few days before, which I thought was strange because I figured she'd ask me for directions or text me to say how excited she is or something. So I text her "Figure out where x Cafe is?"

She responds saying "No I can't". I take this to mean that she can't find the address to the Cafe, so I text it to her. I don't get a response back.

Fast forward to 6pm, when I'm supposed to meet her. I'm sitting at home thinking if I should text her asking if she's gonna be down here because I don't want to waste my time if she isn't. I say **** it and go to the Cafe, but end up texting her right when I get there anyways, saying "You coming down tonight?" she responds by saying "No..."

Anyways later I get on Facebook and she IM's me basically saying "Sorry I couldn't come down I was tired and didn't know the plans were actually set. I feel really bad. I guess I owe you then." I respond saying it's cool and then sign off.

Ever since I've been pretty much giving this girl the cold shoulder while I try to figure out if I want to give her another chance or next her.

I mean, she sounds honest, but then again why on earth wouldn't she text me to say she's not going after I text her the address?

What should I do with this? I was thinking about giving her another chance but making her jump through some hoops (i.e. pay for dinner, maybe buy me some drinks or something), but man flaking like that is a capital offense!

Thoughts?

Bump. Anybody?

So I've basically been giving this girl the cold shoulder for a while, not really responding to her texts/messages, to the point where she straight up asked me "Do you not want to talk to me anymore?" I obviously just played it off like it was a ridiculous question to ask then went on with it for a bit. Today we did hang out for a bit just because I was up by her house (she lives a little bit away) and we went to Wal Mart together (hahaha I know, stupid, but she really wanted to see me and I was up there and figured what the hell, and we went to Wal Mart because it was super late and I had to buy some stuff so I told her she could tag along if she wanted).

Nothing really happened, but she sent out a bunch of IOI's. I didn't make a move on her because I don't really want to unless she comes down here. I don't know why but I felt obligated to update this thread.

You didnt go for the kiss??? Bad move on your part.

hey man,

im no expert, but my thoughts....

i noticed no one picked up you said she cheated on her ex.

but for me, this is where i lose interest. no high quality girl cheats. also, she may end up cheating on you...

but saying that you said u dont want a relationship, just a fsck buddy i assume. so just dont invest any emotion and dont fall for her or it could end sour.

so anyway, i think you've made all the right moves. if she was high level interest, she'd have gone to cafe. playing it cool when she didnt come would have increased her interest.

try to chat to a couple more girls (plates) to lessen your focus on her..

JLay87 said:

So I've basically been giving this girl the cold shoulder for a while, not really responding to her texts/messages, to the point where she straight up asked me "Do you not want to talk to me anymore?" I obviously just played it off like it was a ridiculous question to ask then went on with it for a bit. Today we did hang out for a bit just because I was up by her house (she lives a little bit away) and we went to Wal Mart together (hahaha I know, stupid, but she really wanted to see me and I was up there and figured what the hell, and we went to Wal Mart because it was super late and I had to buy some stuff so I told her she could tag along if she wanted).

Nothing really happened, but she sent out a bunch of IOI's. I didn't make a move on her because I don't really want to unless she comes down here. I don't know why but I felt obligated to update this thread.

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It's not stupid at all to have a girl tag along with you at Wal-Mart or wherever.

That's part of my central technique on figuring a girl out and what she's like. I play "longball" a lot and get excellent results with other women by doing this. If I'm talking to a girl I somewhat know socially (during the daytime mostly, I talk to all girls that I can) and she's having a good time, I'll make up a false time constraint and say I need to go shopping. "You can tag along if you want blah blah blah" or whatever. It's innocent, doesn't raise up her shields, she's social proof for me, and she's starting to chase and doesn't even realize it.

Not only am I likely to find out more things about how she really is (she's off balance, not on a date, does he like me?), but since I'm shopping in familiar (usually smaller) stores, girls who work there keep seeing me with girls who are trying to chat me up, having a good time, and following me around. They'll automatically see me as being very high value after seeing this a few times and I'll always be friendly and outgoing with them even while I've got a girl with me.

I always try to get girls to tag along with me even if I'm not looking to hook up with them. It's great constant practice and it costs me pretty much ZERO unless I buy a soda or something. I always spread out things I really need to get so I have a legitimate reason to shop.

Tiguere said:

You didnt go for the kiss??? Bad move on your part.

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I didn't go for the kiss because:

1. I'm getting over a cold, and I think it's incredibly rude to kiss someone when you could get them sick without warning them first, and I'm not going to be like "hey I was gonna kiss you but I'm sick, do you care?" on a first kiss.
2. I'm not giving this girl **** unless she comes down here. I made that very clear. She still was sending mad IOI's and I responded to the point where I made that very clear.

try to chat to a couple more girls (plates) to lessen your focus on her..

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I'm not focused on her at all. In fact, I've hardly talked to her in the past few weeks, which is what I said in my last post. What makes you think I'm too focused on her?