sageproduct's senior year field reports.

I joined this site a month ago and have been reading it consistently. BongDuy's field reports and eaglez's outstanding analysis have inspired me to start my own field reports. This school year has been extremely busy for me so far, but I think I will be able to update daily.

Basic Facts:
Like BongDuy, I am asian (says something about our self-improvement haha)
Never kissed a girl
Never dated a girl (truly starting from scratch here.)
Above are secrets, not many know (i hope)
Despite that, popular kids (especially guys) seem to really like me
I seem to exude confidence when talking to someone for the first time, and interestingly my confidence goes down the more i know them
Pretty much whole school knows who i am for being good at tennis
I am very bored an unsatisfied with my group of friends right now
basically 0 relationship with my parents. they are weird as hell being from asia and i have an inert, built-up anger toward them for raising me to be a very strange, antisocial kid. luckily, i've managed to get over most of this, even though it took years. middle school was the WORST, i was just weird as HELL and i think i made EYE CONTACT with a girl ONCE in three years.
I think my school/class is more prude than average. Not many parties. Long-term relationships (1 year +) more common. Got quite a few of them in our class. Not much sex goin on (mostly virgins), at least that's the impression I get.

more info here, not necessarily important more just for reference.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=165424

i've read most of the bible, finishing it up and also reading david deangelo on askmen.com and looking at venusianarts right now.

OK, starting now. It's Sunday, so I'll post three tonight about the last three days.

(oh and btw, i'm using a code for names so there might be some weird names lol)
Friday

Homecoming Game
It was a toga theme, and I wanted to participate. I fell asleep for 3 hours unfortunately after I got home from school and by the time I woke up, I hadn't time left to make a legit toga. My friend Carl J came over before the game to get ready together, and I decided to tie a buncha white T-shirts together to form a rope, which i looped around my waist and over my shoulder to somewhat resemble a toga, I guess. It looked kinda ****ty I guess but hilarious. I decided to go shirtless even though it was pretty damn cold.

Carl J then decided to go see a movie with some of his friends instead of going to the game, leaving me alone at home. I then got a text from a girl we will call Petunia S.

Petunia S History
She's a genius, excellent grades and really close to 1st in our class. Really good looks actually, an 8 but really should be a 9 if she was more sexual and dressed up more. Control freak, however and will NEVER admit that she's wrong.

I became friends with her at the end of soph year, was part of my main group of friends all summer before junior year and we all had a blast hangin out. I always kinda liked her. I asked her to HC that year, kind of a shock to everyone. She declined with the exact words "it'd be awkward because we're friends". At our school, it's considered a total ***** move to say no to a dance. She then started treating me like a *****, we got in a fight on Facebook sort of and then I refused to hang out with anyone if she were around. We're friends again now though, and I now tease the **** out of her for everything.

---

Ok anyway, she texts me about something for HC, and then asks me if I'm wearing a toga to the game. I told her to come to my house to help me with my "toga", thinking this could set up some nice kino and force her to "earn" my goodwill.

She shows up, but her mom drove her and is driving us to the game, which I did not expect. We get there, and I am greeted heartily by the first row of popular kids and everyone is dressed warmly while I am shirtless with a ridiculous rope of shirts on me. Petunia S stops to talk to some girls, and I keep going. The first whole section is full, and a very small number of people are in the next section. I spot my friend Louis L and stand next to him.

People are noticing that I am shirtless in cold weather. I get mainly positive feedback from guys ("You're SO hardcore man!") and concern from girls ("Aren't you cold???") A really hot and popular girl (on HC court) who I've never talked to exclaimed her concern while walking past and the closest to C & F I could think of on the spot was just smirk, pretend to look confused and say "No!"

Louis L had gotten up to talk to some other people he knew a little farther to my left, and around the same time (i think) a girl we'll call Binny K sat down next to me on my right.

Binny K
She's on the girls' tennis team (most of which I am friends with) so we usually have a lot to talk about regarding people we know and stuff. We first met at prom last year because she was friends with my date and we happened to be hanging out with the same people a few times recently. I'm not particularly attracted to her (a 7, possibly 8), but from what I've seen so far she's cool and I like her personality.

---
We talk for a while. She turned out to be really good at Powderpuff, so I make some jokes about how tough she is. After a little while, a girl we'll call Patricia M approached us, sat in Binny K's lap and joined the conversation. I think I did a good job of talking to both girls. Still later, another girl I didn't know joined and sat on top of Patricia M. So here I was, sitting next to 3 girls piled on top of each other. I was having a good time talking to them, feeling pretty comfortable and was just entertaining them. After something I said that was particularly funny, the new girl turned to me and said "I don't think we've officially met. I'm Kristina K." I was slow to react for some reason, maybe I was unfocused or thinking of something witty but I said "I'm sageproduct" and shook her hand. Binny K and Patricia M made fun of that exchange for a moment, both on Kristina K awkwardly saying "officially met" and my delay in response. I like to set up inside jokes with girls (good idea, right?) so started jokingly using the word "officially" when talking to Kristina K.

Blah blah blah, time passes and it's time to leave at halftime since the game's a blowout. Some of my closer friends left even earlier to see a movie, but I wasn't even near them and didn't feel like going especially since they didn't "invite" me. I ended up walking home by myself (I live really close to school).

On the way, I happened to be walking alongside a really popular guy and two popular girls who I never talked to. The guy greeted me enthusiastically, and then the girls talked to me a little bit I don't even remember which one said what lol.
Girls: "Aren't you really good at tennis?"
Me: (immediately) "Nope, don't know what you're talking about."
Girls: Blah something, they laughed i think
Me: i said something moderately humorous, going off of the last thing i said.
Girls: were entertained i guess, and we went separate ways.

I got home and was ****ing freezing my ass off. I've been more independent of my friends lately, so I decided to just stay in instead of seeing what they were doing even though it was only 9:30.

I got another text from Petunia S (who I wasn't even with at the game after we got there) saying "Omg this girl from ______ school died today." I quickly looked up the story and corrected her on an aspect of it lol. I thought it'd be insensitive to put any kind of humor here, so I just said that it was "so sad". Convo ended shortly.

That was the end of the day, if anyone has read my half-serious thread about Homecoming this was when I ended up jacking off, LOL.

Saturday, 10/10/09

HOMECOMING

Did jack **** until 3, when I had to get ready for HC. I put on all my nice clothes and sprayed a little axe body spray under my chin and behind my ears. I packed axe anti-perspirant deodorant, the axe body spray, dark jeans, a nice brown long-sleeve shirt, and normal socks for the afterparty.

My Date, Sharon C
Short and cute, an 8 or 8.5. This was more of a setup date that a girl-friend of mine suggested because it happened that no one else was gonna ask her. I had english with her last year but we never talked because she sat on the opposite side of the classroom and at that time I was far more interested in talking to the girl who eventually became my prom date and later ****-up. But anyway, I did hang out with Sharon C one, single time. The girl who set us up for HC and another girl I am really good friends with decided to go to six flags, and Sharon C and I also went. They ended up talking to each other mostly, sometimes about girl stuff even though I did feel kinda cool being alone with 3 girls. (But this is part of the problem, if it's not obvious already I'm in the friend zone with a lot of girls. This is a step up from my previous stage, however, of never even hanging out with girls.)
---

Our group is supposed to meet at girl who set us up (let's call her Bailey A)'s house at 5. Wanting to show authority and control, I texted my date:
Me: Hey Sharon C I'll pick you up at 440. Sound good?
Her: Im already at Bailey A's cause were all getting ready together so ill see you when you get here k!
Me: Haha ok, seeya there.

Our group: 5 couples. 3 of them are dating, the other I wasn't sure. Filled with people Sharon C is good friends with and has lots of memories with. Bailey A is the only one I am friends with, and everyone else I had never really talked to. Sharon C texted me last weekend asking if it was ok if we went in this group, and I easily agreed to it, even though the group with all my friends would have been more fun for me. I felt confident that I would be able to make friends with the people in this group, and I understood that this was important to establish social proof.

I arrive at Bailey A's and say hi to a guy in the group on the way in. Good start. I see Sharon C and the first thing I say is "You look gorgeous" and give her a hug. Her dress stops slightly above the knees and is the shortest out of all the girls in our group. All right!

I talk to her a little as we're waiting for the rest of the group to show up. We didn't interact quite as much as I would have liked to being in a public setting, but it wasn't bad. She had inexplicable bruises on her elbows, so I joked that she was beating people up by elbowing them. I talked to Bailey A a little bit and complimented her parents on how beautiful their house was(Btw, I'm real good with parents and adults in general and every parent I've met LOVES me). They are delighted, and the whole topic of conversation turns to the house. I act fascinated of course. I say hi to all the guys and compliment them on lookin good, and I get dead or almost negative responses from three of them. ****s. Sharon C's mom comes, so I talk to her a little. She leaves and I laugh about her with Sharon C a little.

We drive to dinner at Panera Bread, which is very atypical for our school but our group decided to do it. Sharon C is alone (finally!) with me in my car for the very short drive. Her energy level is really high and she's talking a million miles a minute. I wasn't really able to run C & F or put my own funny twist on what she was saying, so most of my talk consisted of "that's interesting"-type comments.

At dinner, she is still hyper. She's talking to her friends and having a blast, laughing her head off reminiscing over their memories. Occasionally she turns to me to explain a couple things, as I am mostly silently observing and trying to laugh along. I found that whenever I did actually know what the **** they were talking about and contributed to the conversation, everybody listened to me. I ended up bonding pretty well with one of the guys (the only one who gave me a positive response earlier) talking about a psychotic middle school teacher we had in different classes. Oh and also during this time I was kinda impatient with myself for not being able to do much kino since I wasn't talking, even though there would be a lot to come of course at the dance.

One interesting exchange did occur. Trying to put the conversation on Sharon C, I commented "I'm excited that you're so excited"(while kinoing of course), meaning to say that her high energy level was rubbing off on me. Evidently, she took it to mean that I was happy that she was happy, since she responded with a smile and "Thanks sageproduct. You're the best." I tried to think of something C & F at that moment but didn't feel I had the right attitude at that moment to pull it off, as since i had been more quiet and solemn up to that point something like "Oh yeah, i know" would have come off as actually ****iness rather than a joking matter. I played it safe and answered surprisingly quickly "No you are." Since I was thinking though, I said it a little weakly and didn't make eye contact while saying it (!!!). It did get the girls at the table to go "Aww", though.

After eating, we stayed at Panera and played UNO. Being next to Sharon C, I played a Draw Two card on her (which hurts her, in the game) but I wasn't real playful doing it and I think it might have come off as just annoying instead of teasing. The next time around, she did the same to me and said "Ha!" and I was slow and didn't have the right mentality and just calmly said "That's fine" or something.

After that, we drove to our school for the dance, Sharon C alone in my car again. We talked and she was a little less hyper. A song came on the radio, and I made a joke about how overplayed it used to be. She laughed a little and we ran out of things to say so I turned up the volume and we sang along. Oh and also I had been opening the passenger door for her, it was a little unnatural for me and I had to go out of my way a little to do it but I felt like it would add to the experience of being a HC date. Does this come off as AFC-like?

When we got to the dance, I was expecting to get a huge social proof boost from everyone recognizing me and yelling out my name, but we were early and it was filled with underclassmen. We met up with the group and once again she was talking to them far more than me. Also, I had to take a HUGE **** and had the WORST diarrhea, which sucked because it reminded me of prom when I spent pretty much the whole dance trying extra hard to hold in a huge ****.

Our group goes out on the dance floor and we start dancing. At first I am just really ****ing up and not staying with the beat, and later I learn to just follow her. We're grinding, and she's not pushing back very hard. Only in the beginning did I start to get a little chubby (lol at jizzing in my pants) like two times. I started with my hands at her waist, and the normal lights were still on for some fvcked up reason and I planned to get more freaky when they turned off.

During our first break, I was behind two girls (probably soph or fresh) waiting to get water. I commented on how slow the water was, and one responded weakly. Then I made another comment, and they ignored me. Whatever. As I was filling my own cup, I felt a tap on my back. I was actually surprised to see it was Sharon C, and she said "Let's go back," definitively. I wasn't even close to filling my own cup (seriously the water was coming out at slightly more than a trickle), but I didn't know how to respond at that time so I just said "ok" kind of weakly. Looking back, I think I should have said "Hold your horses, let me get my water first"? Or would that just signify me being out of shape in a way?

We go back in and I realize that the lights would probably never turn off. I had already commented on the lights twice, so I didn't say anything because I didn't want her to think I had some strange obsession with the lights being off lol. This time, I slid my hands around a little bit. I put them down at her thighs for most of the time, back up on her waist sometimes, and a couple times one hand on her belly. I alternated between keeping my head above hers and smelling her hair and getting down lower to her and looking down with my head above her shoulder. Near the end, I told her that her hair smelled like strawberries and she laughed and told her friend who laughed a little i think. I couldn't tell what they were saying.

Throughout the dance, our group was in a close circle. No one was really getting that freaky, and my date talked to her friends a lot. Thinking back, I probably should have talked to her a little more. Our group switched partners, and at first I didn't know what was going on so I followed Sharon C with a bit of confusion until I realized what was going on. I hope that didn't come off as clingy. Bailey A was a FANTASTIC grinder. She grinded hard enough to push me over, and her bf was right there too. I got past semi-hard with her but not quite full blown erection.

Couple negative things happened. The gf of the guy I had a great convo with at dinner skipped over me in the rotation. I didn't know if she did it deliberately or just didn't notice, but I didn't make any effort to pull her in and ended up dancing with the same girl for two rotations. After the last rotation though, Sharon C was getting a little freaky with the guy in our group who I wasn't sure if he was dating his date. Instead of rotating, she stayed with him and I danced with his date again. She bent forward at one point, which she didn't do with me. I tried to watch him a little and see what he was doing but it was hard because it would be obvious that I was jealous. Then she came back to me.

Near the end, the slow dances started. My entire head was over hers since she was that much shorter than me. Now, I'm attracted to Sharon C but I don't particularly have feelings for her. I kinda wanted the kiss, but the reason was to end the fact of never having kissed a girl more than anything else. Wrong reason, I guess. At first, I just rested my chin on the top of her head. Then I realized I should try to make eye contact with her, but I had to look way down and stretch my neck to do that and she wasn't looking back up. Ok. Then when I built up more courage I decided to try the kiss test with her hair, and I finally got myself to reach my right hand up to try to stroke her hair. Too bad I didn't notice that it was tied up. I ended up awkwardly touching her hair and rubbing whatever was holding it a bit. I ended up not kissing her with my rationalization being that it was a set-up and I didn't want her to think that I went into it thinking it was gonna be all romantic and whatever. Pretty bad reasoning, looking back, and I still have the pressure of that first kiss on me.

Afterparty at one of the guys in the groups' house. My activity was kind of similar to dinner, I didn't really talk much, but when I did people listened. Sharon C seemed to be laughing at everything, especially things the kid she enjoyed dancing with did. I missed a really good chance for kino when I was sitting on the floor with my back on the couch and she sat behind and to the left of me on the couch. I guess I could have moved up with her and kinoed her knee.

Time to leave. I was still getting my stuff together and she was already outside and for a second I thought she wasn't gonna say goodbye. I came outside and she walked toward me. She said "I had a really good time tonight" and initiated a hug. I said "So did I" and after a whole night of failing at C & F I guess I managed to get it in, saying "Since you were such a good date, maaaaaaybe you're cool enough to hang out with me now." I said it slowly and confidently, but probably a little too loud. She replied "Oh, I see how it is." Here, I totally forgot to try the move of sliding my hands to her waist as the hug is breaking and trying to maybe get a kiss. I had thought of it but never actually tried it before.

End HC

Woa, those were really long. Sorry guys, I tend to use lots of detail. I'll try to shorten my posts in the future.

I just want to throw some tips your way. I know im not the most qualified but I want to help people, just like Eaglez has helped me.

Cologne
Drop the axe. Really, girls WILL notice. My sister used to buy me loads of cologne for my birthday, and I started using "Curve", which i've had in my closet for the longest time. Immediately when i hugged girls, they noticed. They called me out on it and complimented me. My body mixes well with Curve, and creates a natural scent. Invest a bit into some cologne and it WILL pay off.

Hey, thanks a lot man. We'll help each other, your reports really seem to show that you're getting better every day. Why cologne instead of axe though, is there something wrong with axe? Or is cologne just amazing...

Tuesday
Not much interaction with girls today, especially since I got to school after lunch.

Petunia S
Today when I walked into the one class together she greeted me with "Hi, sageproduct." This caught me off guard a little because for the past month she's been pretty angry at me, as I think I was really practicing C & F all over her and probably overdid it many times. She then complimented (or just noted) the dress shoes that I was holding when I walked in.

I quickly got bored when class started, so I wanted to mess around with her a bit. I made fun of her for not knowing what a CD is made out of (even though I didn't even know.) Then I drew a stick picture of her as a grandmother (inside joke) and wrote "Hey grandma" on it and gave it to her. She gave an annoyed smirk and that was it.

Yeah...that was it for today.

Tomorrow's gonna be exciting though. I have to collect DVDs for a children's hospital, and I decided to be opportunistic and use this as an excuse to practice approaching without being a weirdo at all. I printed a sheet for people (mostly girls.) to write down their name and phone number, and I'll plan to approach at least a few cute strangers and other hotties I normally don't talk to. I'll run a little C & F, maybe be able to establish somewhat of a rapport but mainly try to create attraction. I'll see what I can do.

Whats up man. Ill try to help you out as much as I can, i've just been very busy lately which is why I hadnt been able to fully break down your posts. Ill be back with some more later cuz I gotta go to football practice now, but keep on making that effort to improve!

sageproduct said:

After something I said that was particularly funny, the new girl turned to me and said "I don't think we've officially met. I'm Kristina K." Thats an IOII was slow to react for some reason, maybe I was unfocused or thinking of something witty but I said "I'm sageproduct" and shook her hand.

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sageproduct said:

We drive to dinner at Panera Bread, which is very atypical for our school but our group decided to do it. Sharon C is alone (finally!) with me in my car for the very short drive. Her energy level is really high and she's talking a million miles a minute. I wasn't really able to run C & F or put my own funny twist on what she was saying, so most of my talk consisted of "that's interesting"-type comments.Gotta come up with something better than that. Its okay that shes talking, but dont let her do legit ALL the talking. You gotta telegraph your interest and say a little more, make some more interesting comments or opinions, then get her to reply, then tease her.

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sageproduct said:

"Thanks sageproduct. You're the best." I tried to think of something C & F at that moment but didn't feel I had the right attitude at that moment to pull it offGotta focus on having the best attitude 24/7, as since i had been more quiet and solemn up to that point something like "Oh yeah, i know" would have come off as actually ****iness rather than a joking matter.Not if you smile while saying it I played it safe and answered surprisingly quickly "No you are."Ahh thats weak and afc right there. Why would you deny a compliment, and then on top of that, put her on a pedestal? Next time you get a compliment just agree and joke about it in a c+f way. Since I was thinking though, I said it a little weakly and didn't make eye contact while saying it (!!!).Gotta fix that It did get the girls at the table to go "Aww", thoughDoesnt matter. "Aw" can be meant in many different ways: in the cute way, in the niceguy way, in the "hes a tool" way, in the "aww hes desperate" way, its very confusing lol

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sageproduct said:

As I was filling my own cup, I felt a tap on my back. I was actually surprised to see it was Sharon C, and she said "Let's go back," definitively.IOI I wasn't even close to filling my own cup (seriously the water was coming out at slightly more than a trickle), but I didn't know how to respond at that time so I just said "ok" kind of weakly.You gotta stop giving weak responses. Be a man, speak up, and have some confidence Looking back, I think I should have said "Hold your horses, let me get my water first"? Or would that just signify me being out of shape in a way?Ehh depends how she takes it. It wouldve been better to say something like "Okk....are you sure you can handle me?" and smile while saying it

sageproduct said:

Throughout the dance, our group was in a close circle. No one was really getting that freaky, and my date talked to her friends a lot.Who cares about what everyone else does, and who cares if the lights are on or off. Do what YOU want, and dont let outside factors affect your actions. If you wanna get freaky, get fvcking freaky Thinking back, I probably should have talked to her a little more.You got that right Our group switched partners, and at first I didn't know what was going on so I followed Sharon C with a bit of confusion until I realized what was going on. I hope that didn't come off as clingy.Nah, you were confused Bailey A was a FANTASTIC grinder. She grinded hard enough to push me over, and her bf was right there too. I got past semi-hard with her but not quite full blown erection.Dont worry about boners when you grind man. Everyone gets em. Its normal. If you get a boner, consider that a good thing cuz then the girl is a good grinder. Never back off when you get one, hang in there and keep doing your thing. Let her feel it, trust me, it will turn them on and tell them that their doin a good job

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sageproduct said:

Couple negative things happened. The gf of the guy I had a great convo with at dinner skipped over me in the rotation. I didn't know if she did it deliberately or just didn't notice, but I didn't make any effort to pull her in and ended up dancing with the same girl for two rotations. After the last rotation though, Sharon C was getting a little freaky with the guy in our group who I wasn't sure if he was dating his date. Instead of rotating, she stayed with him and I danced with his date again. She bent forward at one point, which she didn't do with me. I tried to watch him a little and see what he was doing but it was hard because it would be obvious that I was jealous. Then she came back to me. Dont get jealous, just let it be man. Seein that should make you wanna work your game harder to beat out that other dude

Near the end, the slow dances started. My entire head was over hers since she was that much shorter than me. Now, I'm attracted to Sharon C but I don't particularly have feelings for her. I kinda wanted the kiss, but the reason was to end the fact of never having kissed a girl more than anything else. Wrong reason, I guess. At first, I just rested my chin on the top of her head.? Wtf. Dont do that lol Then I realized I should try to make eye contact with her, but I had to look way down and stretch my neck to do that and she wasn't looking back up. Ok. Then when I built up more courage I decided to try the kiss test with her hair, and I finally got myself to reach my right hand up to try to stroke her hair. Too bad I didn't notice that it was tied up. I ended up awkwardly touching her hair and rubbing whatever was holding it a bit. I ended up not kissing her with my rationalization being that it was a set-up and I didn't want her to think that I went into it thinking it was gonna be all romantic and whatever. Pretty bad reasoning, looking back, and I still have the pressure of that first kiss on me.Thats a weak excuse man. Dont make excuses when it comes to girls. To me, it sounds like the entire slow dance with her was very awkward. If you sense that, you have to do everything in your power to remove the awkwardness. You shouldve talked to her a bit to break the ice, rather than just stand around there like a statue and not say anything. I mean if you havent even said anything to her, how can you expect to just start touching her hair and expect a kiss? You gotta work some game every now and then (you dont have to keep talking the entire time), and then when you feel the URGE to kiss her, NOT when you THINK you should kiss her, act upon your instinct and just go right in. Dont go through that whole process in your head where your like "ohh should I kiss her now? SHould I say a clever line before I kiss her?(btw dont do that) how will she respond if I kiss her? I feel nervous it might not work". Dont overthink and dont let all those ridiculous thoughts run through your head.

Afterparty at one of the guys in the groups' house. My activity was kind of similar to dinner, I didn't really talk much, but when I did people listened.If you really wanna get better with chicks, you gotta start talking more and opening up more. Stop being so quiet and such. Talk to anyone, guys, girls, parents, etc. Sharon C seemed to be laughing at everything, especially things the kid she enjoyed dancing with did. I missed a really good chance for kino when I was sitting on the floor with my back on the couch and she sat behind and to the left of me on the couch. I guess I could have moved up with her and kinoed her knee.

Time to leave. I was still getting my stuff together and she was already outside and for a second I thought she wasn't gonna say goodbye. I came outside and she walked toward me. She said "I had a really good time tonight" and initiated a hug. I said "So did I" and after a whole night of failing at C & F I guess I managed to get it in, saying "Since you were such a good date, maaaaaaybe you're cool enough to hang out with me now." I said it slowly and confidently, but probably a little too loud. She replied "Oh, I see how it is." Here, I totally forgot to try the move of sliding my hands to her waist as the hug is breaking and trying to maybe get a kiss. I had thought of it but never actually tried it before.Wait so you didnt say anything else after? Shes teasin you back when she says "Oh i see how it is". That could be a possible IOI. You shouldve continued with the convo, while pulling her closer into you, looking into her eyes and giving a slight smile. Then, when you wanna kiss her, go right in.

End HC

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Youve got some work to do, but theres definitely potential. Keep on taking all the advice you get on here, and I promise you that you will see a major improvement. Its all about your motivation man. How bad do you wanna change and improve yourself? Your motivation, determination, and perseverance will take you as far as you let it go. The sky's the limit.

Alright, just read everything you said, much appreciated man. I'm gonna spend some more time rereading the uplifting material in the Bible.

Wednesday
Today I walked around telling people to put their names and numbers down on a sheet I had for this donation thing that I have to do. I didn't really approach strangers, just some people (mostly girls) who I haven't talked to that much.

Lunch
I ate only part of my lunch so that I'd have time to approach a couple tables. First, I approached a table with some guys I'm on good terms with just to get things going. After I was done with them, I walked up to the nearest table, which had about 8 random sophomore girls (i think) that I had never talked to. Most were 6's or 7's.

I think my opening (explaining what donations I needed) was solid but not the best. I was a little nervous and hid most of it but after I was done talking I think I may have given it away with a couple nervous behaviors. Most of them kinda just sat there and stared and maybe mumbled a couple things, but one girl on the opposite side (one of the better looking ones in the group) said she might be interested so I handed her the sheet of paper I was holding, and here is where I think I acted a tad awkwardly.

I told her to put her name down and she asked why. To be honest, there really was no need for anyone to put their names or numbers down, I just made that up to practice lol. She said she might be able to donate something or her sister might have something and I teased her a little, pretending to be majorly disappointed. I told her to put her name down but she refused, saying that she'll bring it to me at lunch tomorrow if she has it.

I then walked to the table behind me, where all the popular girls in my class sat. I was a little less nervous because I'm friends with one of them and have talked to another couple. None of them really responded directly to me except a girl who's known as the nicest girl in our class and truly a great girl. Also, the hottest one there (a 9 or 9.5 who acts like a hot dumb ***** all the time) said she wanted to but I didn't push it with her (I should have).

After lunch I got a couple other girls I hang out with to put their names down and later kicked myself for not doing any kino, which I forgot to do the whole day.

Paula H
At the beginning of my next class I had to run to the bathroom. When I was almost in, I was looking back and at the same time Paula H left the girls' room and we made eye contact and said hi. I never even knew she existed before this year, and for the first four weeks or so of school she sometimes sat at my lunch table, which is filled with my innermost circle of friends. She didn't really know many people at our table and hasn't been sitting with us for the last two or three weeks.

I did project confidence with her, as I smiled immediately and said in a low, slow voice "Hey, where have YOU been?" and she laughs and replies "Oh, I haven't been sitting with you guys..." I started shaking my head in disapproval and then remembered my donations thing. I talked to her for a minute about it and out of anyone today she seemed the most interested in it for some reason and said "Oh, that's really really cool" in a truly fascinated tone. I was so focused on explaining everything the right way I forgot to do kino AGAIN!!! And also I had left my pencil in class so I wasn't able to get her to put her name and number down. I'm sure she would have, and we ended the convo with her saying that she'd try to remember to bring some dvd's tomorrow.

After that class, I had a pass so I took the longest route possible to my next class. In the halls I encountered a popular girl who I have talked to a few times. She is an 8 who acts like a 9 and inflates her hotness through her demeanor. She was looking down and I got her attention and explained the thing to her. I did a few things worse than with Paula H:
1. I was talking a little faster
2. Instead of making eye contact, I held out my sheet immediately for her to look at
3. My voice was softer and higher for some reason.
She told me sorry that she had already given her donations to someone else and I ripped on her a little, to which she responded that I should have asked her first. I conceded "Yeah, that's true," as we were walking away.

Oh, and she touched my arm while saying sorry, suddenly reminding me that I failed to kino. Fvck.

After School
After the last class, I was at my locker and it just so happened that right when I turned to my right I made eye contact with an Asian girl. I sat at her lunch table last year, a table consisting of about 6 popular but not that hot girls, a gay guy (who's actually really cool) and my friend Louis L. We hardly talked at all, but I've seen her a few times in the halls this year and we say hi.

She's almost walked past when I suddenly remember and stop her. I explain the DVD thing to her and discover for the first time that she actually has a semi-heavy accent. (For the record, I'm not into asian girls at all.) She says ok maybe, and as she's writing her name down, my friend Louis L happens to be walking past and says loudly "He won't stop calling you." And dammit I couldn't think of anything to say so I played along with the joke like a beta and said "Yeah that's me" sarcastically. My wit needs work. Plus, Louis L is an okay friend in general but he does tend to act really different and put me down more when we're around girls, or even people in general. This used to piss me off (well it still does) but now I know I just gotta learn to shoot something back to establish amog.

I guess the timing here was right-on because after he said that she smiled at me and said, "Yeah I'm not gonna put my number down," and I don't remember saying anything effective.

After that I went to a short meeting for a volunteer club I'm in. None of my friends were there but luckily I found a group of popular guys I talk to and sitting with them was the second to last girl I asked for donations (not the asian one).

I'll give her a name now. Peyton E. There was one guy sitting in between us. He told her something and she hit him (kinda hard!) on the chest. I called her out and told her she was a violent girl and that NO ONE messes with my asian brother (seriously there aren't many asians at my school. ive mentioned about all of them in one day). at this point the meeting started so she didn't say anything back.

After they were done talking, Peyton E gets up to leave while the rest of us are still sitting down. While walking in front of me, she pulls an envelope Petunia S had just given me. She asked me if she could open it and I flat out refused. When she asked why, I said I was gonna go home and open it (lol). She tries to look through and comments "Ooo invitation to Petunia S's party. Why wasn't I invited??? I'm angry." Once again, I could have said something better but I went with "Yeah you should bring it up with her."

That was it for today. Tonight I texted everyone who did give me their number to remind them of the donations and nobody except a couple guys responded. Maybe they thought I was giving the numbers to someone else or something, but I guess the best way to get a phone number is to get it for what you actually want it for.

Overall, I need to kino more and be more entertaining. I'm gonna try to adjust my stream of consciousness so that I'm constantly in a C & F attitude, and that way I'll be demonstrating value with everything I say because it's already there and I just need to say it. I have one more day tomorrow of getting the donations thing. I also need to find Sharon C tomorrow because I haven't since HC and I really don't want to just text her.

Again, much appreciation!

Thursday

I forgot to bring the sheet I made for the donations thing, but it actually didn't matter that much. Overall, I think I had a much better attitude today and was more entertaining to people.

Sharon C (HC date)

I saw her briefly before first period today while walking with my friend Louis L. We said hi and i touched her on the upper arm. Then after lunch, I walked to the hallway where I knew she was going to be (yeah...) and saw her again. We didn't see each other until we were almost past and I had to call out to her and say, "I have something I need to ask you."

She walked back over to me, and judging from her facial expressions she seemed really surprised and I think expecting something serious or heavy as she said, "What?" I told her I needed donations from her and she responded with an "Oh," as if she was expecting something else. This is a good thing because I created suspense and place value on what I had to say, right? I told her I'd pick them up from her today because I need to turn them in first thing tomorrow morning. Then I made a mediocre joke as we were separating about her being a perv that was related to the donations, and she laughed.

As I stepped away, I stepped on Muncie M's foot. Muncie M is HOT, an 8 or 9 in my opinion and I feel that she's really underrated at our school. I'm good, close non-hang-out friends (if that makes sense) with her and she's had a bf for over a year, who I am also good non-hang-out friends with. She's a high demanding girl I'd say, and she was legitimately angry at me and stared me down and complained "Watch where you're going!" Here, I froze up again as a result of internal conflict: I used to be the first person to make apologies until becoming a RAFC, so I had an inclination to say sorry but I also wanted to say "Oh you're weak" or something but I think it probably actually was painful. What I ended up doing was silently touching her arm and we separated because the passing period was almost over.

Paula H
Not number closing her yesterday was a huge mistake because I rarely see her, but today I was lucky that I did. I immediately questioned her about the donations thing and she said she couldn't find any. Then after talking a little more she asked when I needed them by, and that she could still somehow get them? haha. I told her I needed them today and asked where she lived so I could pick them up, and she ended up pulling out her phone and asking for my number. Now maybe she is just really passionate about donating, but this is a start. I told her to text me so that I'd have her number too but our school's really strict with phones so she didn't at that time and I'm still waiting for it now.

Add: After I gave her my number, I said slowly "Don't be calling me every hour now." Without laughing, she maaaybe smiled weakly and said, "Why would I do that?" I was stumped silent. lol

Petunia S
We had a nice convo for a little bit at lunch but we were sitting across from each other at a rather large table. Then in the class I had with her we talked a little more. I make fun of her a lot and give her **** for everything. We were watching a video, and during I tapped her arm to get her attention and asked her if she wanted to go to a drive-in this weekend. I said, "Do you wanna go to the drive in this weekend...on saturday?" Normally, this would be a date but because of our relationship I think it should have been pretty obvious to her that I was meaning to get our group there. She responded "It's closed," and I bothered her a little asking her if she was sure and stuff, but she stopped responding as the whole class was quietly watching the video.

Binny K
I ended up walking behind her without saying anything for a whole hallway before last period (a long time ago I heard you generally shouldn't catch up to a girl), but then a kid yelled out my name to say hi and she turned around and started talking to me. I try to take different routes to my classes every day and usually I don't go this route, and she commented, "Yes, you'll be walking me to class then!" when I explained where I was going. I can't really remember what we talked about besides the donations thing but it was a pretty good convo, and we stopped outside her class by some lockers to talk. We were both leaning against the lockers and pretty close, and now I guess I missed a chance for some kino.

After some talking she asked if me and another girl (on the tennis team) who I'm good friends with were in a fight. I responded negatively, and she said that the other girl was unhappy with me or something and it had something to do with homecoming. I think I know what it's about, but I'm not sure why she'd be mad at me, especially since I set her up with my friend Carl J. I told Binny K that we weren't in a fight that I knew of, and that if she was mad at me I didn't care and I acted confused.

Wait, I did say in response to Homecoming "Well I set her up with Carl J and she's mad at me for it?" which I guess I shouldn't have said because it implies that he asked her only because I told him so, not because he likes her enough to. (even though that's partially true, no other guy was gonna ask her. and she told me that herself, so i felt bad for her and carl j didn't have anyone to ask either so i set them up. fwck that.)

Asian girl I don't want to name
On my way out I saw her, and she did manage to find a small contribution for the donations thing but she forgot at first and it was last-minute. She told me she still had more at home, and I said I needed them first-thing tomorrow morning. She said that was too bad. Since she didn't give me her number, I hesitated to tell her that I could pick them up today and we left it there. Should I facebook her and say I really need those donations and I could pick them up?

Friday

A day and a half is too far to think back. I can't remember anything.

Edit: I do remember a couple things now.

In the morning, I was earlier than normal so I was talking to a few girls and then walked to first period with Binny K. We're walking together and having a pretty smooth and interesting convo. Then Sharon C is suddenly walking toward us but she like entered our vision really late because she had just turned or something? I can't remember. But she looked at me and I took it as a greeting and said her name, to which she did not respond and was already almost past us. Binny K comments, "That was awkward," which I guess it was a little.

Did not see Paula H at all.

I saw Kristina K once, the girl who I "officially" met at the football game. She gave me a really enthusiastic greeting.

I also saw the girl I went to prom with last year. She gave me a very weird hi, I don't feel like explaining the history right now.

Saturday

Only thing today worth noting was a text convo with Paula H.
I started with this:
-Hey Paula H
-Hey sageproduct i never found you
-Ya I might forgive you someday...but I have a question for you
-HaHa ok
-Well I'm taking some small kids bowling tomorrow...and since you are so good with kids (she just told me two days ago that she helps at a daycare) would you be able to come help out?
-thts cool, what time is it at?
-4 but I still have to hear back from some parents.
-I actually have kickboxing at 4 :-/ what are you doing this for?
-WOAAAAAAA I don't think I want you around any kids. [then i answered her ?]
-Haha very funny... what are their ages?
-Actually I don't think I'll feel safe around you myself now...well most of them are middle schoolers and a couple are younger
-Haha you shouldnt jk you should do kickboxing too
-If you started beating up on me all the time, then I would for self-defense.
and blah blah blah, ended shortly after with her saying she had to go.

What do I do with her? I can't count on seeing her randomly at school and I got her # for kind of a bs-y reason, so how do I escalate our relationship? Should I just keep trying for these pseudo-dates/hang outs and try to limit the texting?

Also, just wanted to mention this girl would probably be the best gf material available to me right now. Not that looking but I really like her personality (at least what I know about it so far...). Honest.

Kristina K

Over the last 3 days or so, I added her on fb and wrote on her wall saying "I guess you're pretty cool...we should "officially" hang out again." and she commented on it "ya know i couldn't agree more hahaha". Today I commented on that post again saying that i was seeing a movie tonight and she should come with, but that was at like 3 i guess so not the smartest thing and she never responded or never saw it. i could have asked for her # on fb i guess but i just didnt want to.

Hey man I think its really cool your actually trying to improve yourself. And don't worry you'll get that first kiss in no time, you're dealing with a lot of chicks and I'm sure there will be plenty more in future posts.

One question tho. Does it help to record your progress? I've been wanting to do something similar as its my senior year also. My goal isn't really to get laid/ kiss etc., but to gain better social skills in general. I'm not a complete loser tho lol, Im very good looking, just borderline socially retarded i guess? People know me, they just don't really speak to me.

I help you, you help me? I gotta get this part of my life handled and I need to stop procrastinating..

Hey first of all thanks man. I definitely think recording your progress helps, even if nobody else reads it because when you record a situation down you are more able to think about it from a more detached point of view. I did get a number close within a week of starting this, even though that's probably just a coincidence.

But yeah I would say just get started. BongDuy's field reports appeared to have helped him greatly, and I think I've already benefited from recording my experiences, even though it takes more time than I expected.

Thanks, I'll probably get started in the next 2-3 days.

But anyway, lookin forward to your future posts. Waiting for that kiss lol

Hahaha, yeah I'm trying not to think about it...but honestly that's just my biggest goal right now I guess. Lookin forward to reading yours too, this stuff really helps applying everything to specific situations.

Monday, 10/19/09

Sharon C (hc date)
Saw her in the morning before first period. We were both kind of walking toward a table to go around it, and we had a "hey how are you good" conversation and that was it. I got there first, I turned, she was behind me for about 5 seconds, we said nothing else, I stopped to sit down, she kept walking.

From an effort standpoint, she is pretty much next-ed. She's shown little interest, especially since the dance where I guess I ****ed up by being too scared of ****ing up.

Muncie M (HOT with bf of over a year, tennis)
She really boosted my ego today. After saying hi to Sharon C, I was almost alone at the table I was sitting at. She sat down with me, saying "Why isn't anyone sitting with you?" We had a nice convo and I kinoed her arm.

Clementine M (haven't mentioned yet)
Since not that much happened today, I thought this would be a good time to introduce another girl. This girl likes my friend Carl C, but he just completely hates her and thinks she's a FREAK for some reason. I find it really weird because she hangs out with my group sometimes and everybody seems to hate her and the guys seem to find her unattractive. However, I would rate her very decently good-looking and I don't mind her personality at all. I've done some good kino with her and we have a pretty good relationship and I don't think we see each other often enough to be LJBF.

On the way to second period, another different popular girl with a bf of like 2 years called out my name from behind and we talked a little about some weird teacher. I made fun of the teacher and she laughed, good convo.

Paula H (i like her personality, number last week, kickboxing)
We had a fire drill today and I spent a lot of time walking around just socializing. I was talking to a friend when I saw Paula H kind of in the distance walking with another girl. I should have approached here!!!!! Instead I kept talking with my friend, waved to Paula H and pretended to try to hide from her because in our texts I teased her a bit for doing kickboxing. I didn't see her again and missed out on a great opportunity for building some rapport.

Petunia S (basically Hermione Granger. rejected me for HC last year.)
I've been having some good convos with her lately and she's been texting me a lot for some reason. Most likely just coincidence but I couldn't help but feel a little glimmer of hope. Still, she's mostly a post-next practice ***** for me. But every time I talk to her I do think about how hard I'd **** her if I could. I'm going to her 18th birthday party downtown on Saturday.

Tuesday, 10/20/09

I'm severely decreasing and condensing the length of my field reports from now on and won't write about petty little things anymore.

Paula H (kickboxing girl)

Saw her on my way to lunch. Didn't see her until we were almost past so all I did was say her name loudly. SHOULD HAVE MADE CONVO!!! Dammit. I'll have to talk to her tomorrow.

That's about all worth mentioning. I talked to a couple other girls, practiced kinoing on LJBF's and a girl with a bf.

Wednesday, 10/21/09

Paula H (kickboxing)
Didn't see her at all today.

Binny K (tennis, powderpuff)
I was walking away from school at the end of the day. I heard something that may have been my name from way behind me, so I turned. I couldn't see who it was, so I turned back and kept walking. Thirty seconds later, I heard my full name twice. I turned and it was Binny K. We started talking and she offered me a ride home.

Yesterday we had a semi-long text conversation and the only reason I kept it going was because it was kind of funny and we were continuning a joke. Since I live close to school, it was a really short car ride. The conversation was slightly below average, not bad but not good. No awkward silences but I didn't really get her to laugh hard. Just a few jokes that were kind of funny.

I notice that sometimes with girls or people I'm a little less comfortable around I inflect my voice up a little more and speak a little softer, even though I'm doing a better job of speaking slowly. I need to do a better job of speaking loud, low, and clear.

At the end, I finally got a little kino in as I touched her arm and thanked her for the ride. I'm gonna be spending a lot of time with her Friday when I go with the entire girls tennis team to state (I'll be alone with about 10 girls I think, score!!!).

Since she has shown some interest (approaching me, offering me a ride, and she got my number from someone and texted me one day) I think I could do some work on her. On Friday I should get many chances to isolate girls, even though the majority of the team is unavailable, LJBF, or simply undesirable.