Married women who cheat...............

I know it's nothing to be proud of, sleeping with a married woman. So go fuk yourself if you are going to judge me. I have to pay for my sins, not you, fuk off. Am I still in love with her? You bet your ass. Here are somethings I learned. I listened very carefully to her words in the five months we saw each other. I'm hoping this will make me a better husband if I get married, though I have bad karma coming my way.

1. If she goes out alot, stays late with "friends". She is cheating.
2. If she has small children (mine had two girls), and her sex life doesn't exist because of the kids, she thinking of, or is cheating.
3. If she used to have a good lifestyle, where her hubby was making lots of money, but now is struggling, she is going to cheat. They can NEVER go backwards in lifestyle.
4. They feel extremely guilty for doing what they are doing. That's why they end affairs and move on to the next. They don't want emotional attachments from themselves or their boyfriends.
5. If she is neglected at home, emotionally, financially, sexually, she is thinking of cheating.
6. If she fights alot at home, all it takes is for a man at her work to give her attention and make her feel good, for her to cheat.
7. She makes fun of him, or ridicules him, she is cheating or is thinking of cheating.
8. If she married him at a young age, he no longer is the man she wants as a woman. He is only the boy she liked when she was a girl. She will cheat on him.
9. If he leaves her on important dates. She will cheat.
10. If she says she is leaving him, she never will. She is afraid of finances and being alone with kids.
11. So she will manipulate him, make him feel guilty, have sex with him alot and is unusally emotional. She is cheating.
12. She doesn't care where, when, how, or what. If she wants to cheat she will.
13. She sees it as "payback" for things he has done to her.
14. She knows that it's wrong, but divorce is not an option. When men say "why didn't she just divorce me and tell me before she did it?" Because to her, divorce is a lifelong decision. An affair can be forgotten. But they are both destructive.
15. If she is an American woman, or Westernized woman, the chances of her cheating is more than quadrupled.

Not a day that goes by I don't think about her. I watched her actions, her words. She told me she was getting divorced. That he wasn't living with her. All lies. I hope that I can be a husband who can see the warning signs in the future if this happens to me. Never been married but it has really scared me. Now, here's the scariest part;

I have a strong feeling he knew. But either was afraid to lose his family or her or understood that he was doing the same thing and it was what he deserved. DON"T MESS WITH MARRIED WOMEN. I still can't get over her.

I do agree with all the items on your list,the scary part is that it does not leave ANY reason I can think of as to why any woman will stay with a guy cause basically any reason is good for bailing out,it's almost as if the list belongs to some whimsy teenager,Scary, but maybe we should be making a list of reasons why a GUY would eject a marriage or LTR.

I know this goes against human nature but having kids ups the ante,once you have kids your eject button becomes sluggish,but her ,with the complicity of the judicial system(might be changing now)walks away with more than half the emotional assets(kids)plus all she has to do is flash some poon and she WILL get another EMO or AFC to take your place while men have to go into this complicated game of proving your worth to other females to get some scrap relationship,because you have learned your lesson you don't wanna shack up with a singlre mom with two kids.
Also most of the time you are wiped out financially and have to rebuild.

YOU don't overly invest yourself emotionally,I mean ,leave something for self love (you may need it).
Are we here to entertain women and be THEIR problem solvers just to get what,validation?
I say be all YOU can be,I mean I'm thinking this ,that does not mean I can act this way all the time but I aspire to it.
Lost that byatch you were with for 15 yrs?,ok get on your feet financially,emotionally as best as you can ,if she was a 7 get yourself at least an 8,dress up real nice and go and see your kids,be friendly with her,pretend all is cool,the betrayal,the lies etc,best attitude in the world.Worst thing that you can do to her is have FUN with your life while she attached herself to a new guy with a whole set of rules for her to follow and you want front row seats for when she crashes and burns while she watches you be free and always with more beautiful women,women never go back in LIFESYLE and we MEN should never go back in girl beauty.
One you had a marriage go bad,especially if you are a victim of women bs you should never look for that again.
This is a rant but maybe I made some sense.

brokenupinside said:

I know this goes against human nature but having kids ups the ante.

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Yeah, marriage itself isn't so bad, but unfortunately once you have kids all power is transferred immediately to the woman. They can then divorce you at any time and take your children plus a significant portion of your future income. At that point your hosed.

You think you did something wrong?

What vows did you break?
What lies did you tell?
Who's trust did you betray?

All the moral culpability lies clearly in her court. As for her feeling "bad" or "guilty"- don't believe a word of it. If any of those words had any real meaning to her she wouldn't be out riding the johnson of another man, and taking loads of his baby-batter, while her husband is STRUGGLING in this time of hardship.

I think trent81's moral of the story was more the realization that one day HE could be the UNAWARE husband while all this is playing behind his back and that SHE could do it without batting an eyelash.

brokenupinside said:

I think trent81's moral of the story was more the realization that one day HE could be the UNAWARE husband while all this is playing behind his back and that SHE could do it without batting an eyelash.

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EXACTLY. THANKS.

Lol, okay I'm probably about to get jumped again.

But just a question, can't you replace all of those sentences with HE instead of SHE, basically saying that men can do the same thing?

I'm not disagreeing, but aren't BOTH genders fvcked up?

Good summation Trent, I'd say you pretty much got it. Now I don't personally hunt and seek married women, but if they start something, I'll finish it. But a while back I snagged a married one who WAS in love with her husband(Refer to #7), and she never put the hate on him, he never hit her, he was a great Father, etc. But he was so busy earning a living and so on that he ignored her both sexually and emotionally. I filled that gap at least for a while.
But I especially agree with statement number 7.

Now number 8, these guys who are say bit older, 30 and over, they seem to like to think they bagged a 14 point buck when they marry someone considerably younger than them. They are thinking: "I finally got someone who hasn't slept with half the town" Well, things may be fine to start with but....as we all grow older, we realize the things we hated when we were younger we now like, and the things we liked, we now hate. So after a number of years, she begins to wonder: "Geez I wonder how big his d*ck is? And that other guy is cute I wonder if he's good in bed" then she hears some of her single GF's talk and now she has roving eyes. We all know what happens next. There an old saying that familiarity breeds discontent. How true.

I've also found over the yrs that its not necessarily the former promiscuous ones who cheat. After all, assuming they are a bit older when they married, they have seen enough d*ck in their day. Its the conservative, librarian ones who need seducing. Its the forbidden fruit theory. Kinda like wanna know the best way to get people to see your new swimming pool? Put up a tall privacy fence around it and put Keep Out signs everywhere. Guaranteed neighbors will be hyper extending their necks to get a glimpse. So just because a married woman seems to be not "the type" to mess around fool you. She may be begging for a hot tryst.

brokenupinside said:

I think trent81's moral of the story was more the realization that one day HE could be the UNAWARE husband while all this is playing behind his back and that SHE could do it without batting an eyelash.

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Ignorance is bliss.... too bad you're all to far down the rabbit hole for that to be an option.

9. If he leaves her on important dates. She will cheat.


When my wife's father died, the plane tickets were $1000 each to go home to his funeral. We didn't have the money for two tickets, and she swore up and down that it was no big deal, I didn't have to go, so she went by herself.

Years later, she finally told me that she was so upset at the funeral that she had to take comfort in an old boyfriend of hers who happened to be there to support her. She told me, 'if you had been there, I would have been with you. I had to be with somebody."

Bible_Belt said:

9. If he leaves her on important dates. She will cheat.


When my wife's father died, the plane tickets were $1000 each to go home to his funeral. We didn't have the money for two tickets, and she swore up and down that it was no big deal, I didn't have to go, so she went by herself.

Years later, she finally told me that she was so upset at the funeral that she had to take comfort in an old boyfriend of hers who happened to be there to support her. She told me, 'if you had been there, I would have been with you. I had to be with somebody."

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by comfort do you mean sex.........or a shoulder to cry on?

If You Know, You're a Wanker

To anyone that takes another's wife, if you know, you're a wanker.

What happens between men and women should be private matters (unless you're into public sex).

But married people by definition have others in the picture - husbands, children, family, friends. The destruction in the wake of infidelity is catastrophic (take it from me, I know).

If you knowingly participate in this, you cannot avoid responsibility for the collateral damage you play a role in creating. Yes, 'if I don't, someone will' is true. But does it need to be you? Are you that desperate?

If you are, you should fix that rather than engage in hands free masturbation with someone that will, sooner or later, reek havoc to the unknowing, the innocent and the defenseless.

'Anything I want, anytime, anywhere' is not a formula for success with women or anything else in your life.

Women are everywhere. Standards for how you interact with the world are rare. If you want to be common, bedding married women is a way to demonstrate that. If that's who you are or want to be, so be it. Judgemental? Yes. Off the mark? Only if you're the only thing in the world that matters.

If you want to be a man or even a passable Don Juan, you don't need to do stuff like this. There are too many women out there that don't come with baggage to justify it.

Tictac

seth03 said:

by comfort do you mean sex.........or a shoulder to cry on?

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Both. She was distant from the time she came home. I ended up moving out six months later. I didn't know at the time what had happened, just that things were weird.

Found this thread in the archives. Crazy story Bible Belt.

This should seriously be avoided at all points. I wish I could put a caveat in here and say "unless you're a narcissist or a thug" who has no emotion, but since I don't dwell in that region I can only speak for men with a conscious. I fell in love with one who had an intense love/hate with me, and still had one ongoing with her ex-husband, and at times was triple-timing both of us with various 3rd men! Four years of this madness. He was with her for 11 years before we met. I can't even imagine....

We haven't spoken in a year. I still think about this ***** and revel in my PTSD every day. Probably because I haven't been able to replace her. There were 2 rebounds shortly after but they didn't last long. Dry spell since. It has affected the way I interact with all current new women. It's worse because I got no closure from this one. I'd like to think if I ever get that text or e-mail, a concession of sorts, I can ignore it but finally find peace and move on.

Bible_Belt said:

Both. She was distant from the time she came home. I ended up moving out six months later. I didn't know at the time what had happened, just that things were weird.

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So what happened to her?

She divorced me, dated a bunch of Indian guys, and eventually converted to Islam to marry a guy from North Africa. I'm a tall white guy who is a lot like her father. Ironically, she cheated as soon as he died. Then she chose men after me that were the opposite of me: short, brown guys who liked to go dancing.

We never did stop speaking; she still calls me. She did come to admit later that divorcing me was the worst mistake of her life. Her and her current husband fight a lot now, she said. She told me she was thinking of divorcing him the last time we talked.

Bible_Belt said:

She divorced me, dated a bunch of Indian guys, and eventually converted to Islam to marry a guy from North Africa. I'm a tall white guy who is a lot like her father. Ironically, she cheated as soon as he died. Then she chose men after me that were the opposite of me: short, brown guys who liked to go dancing.

We never did stop speaking; she still calls me. She did come to admit later that divorcing me was the worst mistake of her life. Her and her current husband fight a lot now, she said. She told me she was thinking of divorcing him the last time we talked.

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Damn bro. Kudos for being level handed enough to stay in touch. I wonder every day if mine will ever resurface to tell me something like that. When you were used and abused for so long, it's a tough pill to swallow that they may have went on happily without you. Been about a year now without a word. I wouldn't reply at all to any contact, but if I got a text like that, I'd be redeemed and could move on easier.

A BPD is hell. A married BPD is the seventh circle where Satan himself dwells.

trent81 said:

13. She sees it as "payback" for things he has done to her.

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Women always believe that her husband DESERVES to be cheated on for whatever reason, but they are smart enough to hiding the fact for him in order of not gtting divorced. My X told me that the point when she decided to open her legs to the guy she was flirting with was when I didn't celebrate our first date anniversary.

Powersurgeon said:

Women always believe that her husband DESERVES to be cheated on for whatever reason, but they are smart enough to hiding the fact for him in order of not gtting divorced. My X told me that the point when she decided to open her legs to the guy she was flirting with was when I didn't celebrate our first date anniversary.

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First date aniversarry? That is just bull shift to place the blame on you. It's never their fault.

dustmuffin said:

First date aniversarry? That is just bull shift to place the blame on you. It's never their fault.

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Exactly. It's always your fault (from their point of view), you lead them to the c0ck carrousel.