A Year Later (What I learned)

Hey y’all

For some reading this will be review, for someone new this might be something different. I never was good at the keyboard jockeying thing. When you essential start this journey you start wanting to get better with women, but the deeper you go the more you want to change your life, that happened for me anyway. I hope this helps you, I’m just trying to give back.

Dedication
I was super gung ho about seduction when I first started. I would read forum threads from legends of various forums memorize what I deemed congruent then “field test” it out on the field. It didn’t matter I wanted to just improve. I wanted to raise the bar in my own life; I wanted to stop making excuses on why I couldn’t have beautiful women. I would work 16 hour days, then would "fish"(sarge) the following night, like it's my last night out there. All I could think of at 2 a.m. while I was working overnights was how there was some chick who wouldn’t get to meet me tonight, and how I could improve upon the next set; but I was focused on getting my money. Then I would go out the next night and blow it . I wanted to improve so badly and I did. One thing that a lot of guy’s don’t know is having an “objective” what is your objective, to get laid? Get a girlfriend? Once I found out which mine was (to improve with women) it made my quest more easier since I had a focus If you are dedicated to something and put in work you will reap results, maybe not right away but you will through hard work and dedication.

Confidence is Key
I truly believe that 90% of game with women is just confidence, my first couple months I was as raw as uncooked fish. However my confidence helped a ton, even approaching women with basic conversation helped out a lot because lot of guys don’t approach whether it’s night or daytime. Want to be more confident? Learn the art of body language, go out by yourself and make small steps. When I first started out one of my goals was just to open and stay in conversation with a girl, it may be hard at first but the more you go out and try the easier it will be.

Approaching and Opening
I’m going to be brief on this, when you initially set out to become comfortable approaching, approach anyone and everyone (trust me once you get rejected enough you become immune to it). Once you are comfortable approaching, approach the women that you want. Experiment with different openers and styles of approaching and find what’s congruent with you (indirect or direct), what are my favorite openers? “Hey how you ladies doing tonight “or “hey what brought you out tonight?” It’s very congruent with me, I never was fond of “opinion” openers because I found them lame, so I never used them (well I did once as an experiment, it ended with the swiftness once I got blown out), if you want to do a opinion opener make sure it pertains to the situation saying “hey ladies did you see the fight outside?” when there damn sure wasn’t a fight can have you looking foolish.

What do I say? (Tailoring your mouthpiece)
To many guys are worried about what to say Jdon23, set this straight via a pm he sent me

Have you ever heard of the quote, its 90% the way you say something and 10% what you say? This is completely true and you have to start thinking this way.

You shouldn't be placing so much importance on words. Words are nothing to women. They get lied to and guys tell them everything they want to hear just so that they will get in their pants.

With that said- what I meant in my post was that my inner-confidence was supreme. I didn't even have to think about what I said. I looked at the woman, and KNEW she already liked me. I would look at her with fearless eyes. I said what ever came to mind- and it worked. Not of what I said- but the way I presented myself.

Women have even told me that. They said before they even met me they saw confidence and security- just from one glance. With women it’s more about the interaction between you- the chemistry.

This is done by stripping down the woman's "barriers". Even woman puts up a barrier as a **** test. If you can strip this down, you can bone the **** outta her, no problem. All you have to do is believe in yourself and success will follow.

Adaptability& Versatility Part 1

After I read “The Game” I went through my own boot camp. I started going out in some redneck ass places in the backwoods of Wisconsin where a black man ain’t had any business of being. But this was perfect for me! I got to work on all my weakness’s building rapport/escalation/Comfort, got to work on approaching, on top of that I found out what my strengths were (social proof/flirting) I remember I started to become really good, when I would walk in as a stranger and by the end of the night all my drinks were paid for by other people and Amog’s and girls would asks “How do you know so and so?” I learned you have to be versatile. Indirect/Direct can be used inter-changeably and even all at once. For instance you can be indirect as be, but your body language/tonality are totally direct. I learned that If I saw my target, and she is with 3 other chicks, I had to neutralize the girlfriends, once neutralized, I went for my target(isolation), kiss closed, escalated(build rapport and comfort of course as well) and boom next thing you know I was in bed with two women. Having Versatility is a great tool and arsenal to have. I can mack almost anywhere. At a white country ass club or in the hood, I’m good man!!

Qualify her
Too often guys think just because a chick is hot, that’s all that matters, if you are just going off looks, “do you” but, I think a “Mack” by the name of Young Silk said it best

Qualifying herself is where in the course of the conversation you make the female show that she brings other things to the table besides her physical attributes. When you make a female qualify herself, you are basically making her show you that she is worthy of dealing with you. That is where you having your mouthpiece in order comes in, they will usually give you some old BS answer when you ask them a question like "What do you bring to the table?" You ask her to be specific to whatever she says and look like you are pondering her answer. The thing is that you aren't really even looking for an answer, her answer is irrelevant. What you are really trying to do is prime her mind to actually prove herself to you that she is worth dealing with by her actions and behaviors. By giving you an answer you can always bring it back up whenever she isn't acting in accordance to what she has said prior. An example of this is take a trait that you consider high and bring it up in conversation, she will most of the time try and say that she possesses it. When she says that anytime she doesn't act in accordance you can do something small to let her know you took note. That way she doesn't think that the sex is enough and knows that you will not just accept just sex. Once they think all they have to bring is sex disrespect is not far behind. Real players/Macks require more from females than just sex because they are benefiting from just being around you so they have to bring other things to the table as well.


Social Proof is real (part 2 of adaptability and versatility)
Everyone probably heard that you have to be “the center of attention” a lot of guys think that it means dancing crazy on the dance-floor or acting like a clown, not necessarily true. Social Proof to me means being that guy who genuinely and sincerely interacts with people. A lot of people think “Social proof” is trying to befriend guys. It can be, however Social proof is you interacting with the people around you, and just having fun. One of the traits of the alpha male is that he is popular wherever he is. I find it funny that so many in the community try to shun “being social” or “social proof” as “Wack game” yikes, when society is basically based on social class and these same “rules” apply in the clubs (the guy with the hottest chick/chicks is pre-selected while the guy being the wall flower warming his drink looking thirstily at girls is perceived the loser). When I first started going out I didn’t know I was naturally good at just talking to people, it’s actually a family trait. I remember when I started going out to the boondocks of Wisconsin, I would talk to strangers not knowing who they were, and I was forced too, why? Because I went by myself I didn’t have a “safety net” or my wingmen at the time, I basically started from scratch. Learning how to social interact with people didn’t just get me free drinks or VIP passes to some of the hottest clubs in my town. But it also gave me social calibration and social intelligence and awareness which I hadn’t had before. For instance when you in a group of four women; Or in a group of ten acknowledge all of them and have fun, when they see that you cool then you can escalate your target. This may be all basic stuff to you, but once you realize that this can also help you in your professional life, as well, you will flourish.​

Positive Mindset (the way of a natural)
The reason why some of you aren’t successful with women is because of your mindset. The mind is one of the most powerful tools that humans have and with the mind come thoughts/beliefs/ideas etc. A lot of guys have negative beliefs about women, because of frustration, bitterness, anger and resentment due to their dealings in the past with women. Most Naturals have few or negative beliefs about women. Why? Because they understand and accept women for whom they are and once you do that, once you let go of the negativity your game will go through the roof, at least it did for me. When I first started going out on the field if I got rejected, flaked on, dissed whatever. Instead of becoming frustrated by it, I took it as a learning experience, it could have been easy to throw in the towel and say “she is a *****” instead I accepted it and moved on. Does this mean I don’t get angry? Or frustrated? Or resentful with women at times? Hell yes I do. However instead of succumbing to the emotions of negativity I reframe my mind, and try to release those negative emotions. I tell myself its part of the game, and let it go, sometimes it’s easy sometimes its not. However you have to remember if you encounter negative women or some form of negativity it’s her loss not yours.


Flakes
You are going to get flaked on a lot, especially when you first start out. My mindset on flake is this. I work a lot in my life, I don’t have a lot of time to spare, so if a girl flakes on me (stands me up on a date, or doesn’t call) It’s a sign of disrespect to me and my time. I don’t have time for women who want to play childish or disrespectful games, those women get cut of, to many women out there for me to trip about one who isn’t willing to cooperate. Are there ways to reduce flaking? Yes, however none of them are full proof in my experience. I suggest experimenting with different things for instance one of things I do when I qualify a chick is tell her that one of my pet peeves is “girls who flake” and that it won’t be tolerated. Unless it’s Hayden Panettiere the girl then usually will try to prove that she is different and doesn’t flake

Improvising and Social Intelligence (being a natural)
People would always ask me “Solo what’s your method?” from regular posters to Guru’s. I could never give them an answer because I never really used a method. Sure I knew the basis for some of the most popular methods but I never do a method unless I was utilizing a certain part of it (plus I hate being in my head). It wasn’t until I met another Natural that I understood how important improvising is. When you approach a chick and she gives you an infamous “**** test” how do you respond? Are you going to use some canned routine? That‘s pre-scripted and obvious or are you going to say some clever and witty? Learning how to improvise will help you out tremendously. I’m not the best when thinking on my feet, but boy oh boy I certainly have improved upon this a lot. I know some guys who are very good at this and they are always fun to watch, what’s the best way to learn improvising? It takes tons upon tons of practice, going out to the field is one, if you aren’t funny, hang out with people that are, sometimes improvising is just saying what’s on your mind, sometimes good stuff comes out sometimes it doesn’t. Social Intelligence and Improvising go hand in hand, if you can adapt to the situation at hand, and understand what’s going on, and then you are on your way to being a natural.

Over-Analyezation (Stop being in your head!)
Hands down this is one of the things that not only plagued me but this whole community. Ever seen a natural talk to a woman? Do you think after he is done with talking to her he analyzes the interaction? Hell no, most naturals I know could care less. If they don’t get the girl they move on, why? Because their other girls out there to be had. The problem is so many guys go out and never enjoy themselves, because they’re so stuck being in their head. I remember once talking to a community guy and he approached a girl, the girl rejected him, so he told the girl her vagina stank(out of spite) and the girl looked at him and said “yes it does”(if you noticed she was doing reverse psychology instead of getting mad, now that’s gaming!). For the next 10 minutes, he was analyzing saying “why would she be so rude? Why would she say that”? Here is a quick newsflash, the girl wasn’t feeling you move on, and in the words of Snowplow “you can’t win them all”. The community wants you to believe if you didn’t get the girl it’s because “your game was weak” or that “you can pick up any girl”. That’s not the truth; sometimes a girl might not like you, even if your game is tight, she might already not been attracted to you from looking at you, my point is, stop analyzing every interaction, go out and enjoy. Look I’m not going to lie; I love to analyze game as well, but once I stopped being in my head and free flow my game took off like Neo in the matrix when he started flying.

10 Myth’s Community wants you to believe which aren’t true (For Newbie’s)
1.Hb10’s-The biggest myth in the community is that you are only supposed to go after ten’s (nothing wrong with that) or that ten’s are everywhere (that’s a subjective argument). The community equates beauty with personality, which is a fallacy. Just because a girl is a “10” doesn’t make her personality a “10”. On top of that everyone’s definition of a 10 is different, the fact is you are attracted to what you are attracted to. Everyone’s taste is different don’t let the community dictate your taste.

2. You aren’t successful unless you pull all the time-I fell in this trap myself, instead of doing it for myself, I wanted to impress other guys. I remember I even talked to a Charlatan(false teacher) when my game was sky high and he said “dude you suppose to pull a 100% all the time” At the time I was naïve, luckily I came to my senses and realized he only wanted me to buy his product and not sincerely help me become better. Realistically you are not going to pull every night. Don’t fall for the false gimmick it’s a marketing ploy to push more product.

3.You need a Guru aka charlatans-Every Guru wants you to buy their product or $2,000 dollar boot camp. Newsflash you don’t need it, I became better without a Guru’s help, there is tons of free information out there, I know guys who have been doing a method or trained with a Guru for years and they still suck, on top of that not every Guru is as good with women as they claim.

4. All women are *****s—Self-explanatory, if you carry this negative believe system, it will mess you up, even if you do become successful with women, you will loath them because deep down you don’t respect them because you don’t respect yourself (why? Because you are dealing with these *****s), if you want to attract quality women you have to change your mindset and accept women for who they are (not all of them are hoes) and also spend the time seeking a quality women instead of just an easy lay(can’t turn a ho in the club into a housewife lol)

5.Cold approaching doesn’t work—You can’t approach a woman unless she gives you eye contact or another indicator of interest. I’ve had plenty of girls not give me eye contact but they knew I was checking them out, every chick is different. In the Mack community we have a saying “Women do the choosing” however if you are a quality man you can do the “choosing”

6.Rules—Everybody has a method or rules, guys make your own rules do what works for you, just because it works for that guy doesn’t mean it will work for you, plus rules are meant to be broken ;-)

7.Join a lair—I’ve heard tons of lair horror stories, including guys trying to set a guy up(beat him up) because he was better at gaming then they were One of my friends joined a lair, and he told me the guys never gamed, just sat down and did a bunch of “theorizing”. You don’t need to join a lair to get good with chicks. I personally have ran into some lair guys, and they looked like douche bags.

8. Paying for the first date makes you a chump—if you invite the chick out, what you expect? Be smart (you can always go Dutch) if you don’t want to pay their tons of things to do where you don’t have to pay(or a cheaper) for on a first date i.e. going on a walk around the lake, museum, park, bookstore etc.

9.It’s all about me, me me—I hear guys say that, and notice how single they are, yeah keep telling yourself you are the prize, you can’t be the prize if you don’t have anything that makes you prize-worthy. That’s like saying you the best basketball player in the world but you can’t make a three point jump shot, the best player/DJ/Mack can do it all. I remember once talking to a natural about women retention, he said something simple yet profound. “You gotta bring value to the table”

10.AFC’s(simps) don’t get laid or everyone else is a Simp—Self-explanatory, as a AFC I was getting laid all the time, but not with the women I wanted. Simps usually will make it “rain” to get that booty.
The magic pill! (There is none)
As a beginner I came looking for “The magic pill” and behold there wasn’t one. Even though I had a frame of reference with women (I had nice guy game back then) I wanted something easy. Want to get better? Then go out to the field. The field is the best teacher. When I first started on SoSuave, I would read and read and read. Then apply my new “knowledge” out on the field if I had a sticking point I would come back on the forum and guys would help me with them. I owe a lot of guy’s thank yous
​

Authenticy and being is honest are key to being a Natural!

Tiffany love said it best every guy has the potential to be a natural; you just have to find that “guy” within you. I’m not the hottest guy in the bar(I got a beer belly) I don’t always say the smoothest things(I stutter when I get nervous), hell I’m not even the best dancer(can’t moonwalk), but believe you me I’m probably one of the most authentic guys out there that night. I remember one time in January (2008). I was having a bad night gaming, I went in a set and was lying left and right. I wasn’t being me, or congruent, I was trying to be fun but I was just being stupid and getting exposed. After a particular horrible set, I said “no more” and started being honest about myself and who I am. The rest of the night went almost flawless, I was having fun, but it taught me a good lesson. Women hate liars and deceivers, in the game they tell you not to compliment women, which is absolutely bull****. If you are sincere, and honest, a woman will appreciate that a lot more than if you just compliment her for the sake of the compliment.


Elevate your standards

A member by the name of DonS(on sosuave) personally challenged me to elevate my standards beyond women. He would ask me, when the last time I Cleaned my house, how my finances are **** like that. Gentlemen what high value woman wants to be with a dude that ain’t got his **** straight? When your priorities are in line and you living a life of high value, you going to attract high value women. This is something that I’m working on continually myself, never be satisfied with mediocrity!

The drought (a slump)
You going to have a slump, hell I did, the best way to make it past one is to focus on other things. Don’t fall and get with a chick you don’t want, you’ll regret it later.
Have fun/be Sexual (secret of the natural)
This is key to meeting and attracting women, having a fun vibe, being a fun guy, but not afraid to push the envelope. Most of the seduction legends empathized early on to me that there is nothing wrong with being sexual. And going out on the field thought me that I had to have fun, combine those two together and you are “That dude”. Without fun there is no point going out on the “field” (you don’t wanna be that creepy guy that is looking hungrily at women like their food)

Keys open doors (Kino)
Kino is very powerful, if you utilize Kino in an interaction properly ASAP, you can form a physical connection. We are in an affectionless society women yearn to be touched. I once had a chick tell me after we got together “the way you touched my back it felt so natural” I’m quoting verbatim. Know when to use kino and you’re golden

Experiment
I’ve been doing this for a year now, and I still experiment. Have fun with this, try out different things. I remember once guys saying that “Introducing yourself as a cartoon character or Super Hero doesn’t work” I set out to prove the KBJ(Keyboardjockey) wrong, and guess what, it does work, every women is different what not work for one works for the other. Plus anything can work (well almost anything), hell I even dressed as a women on Halloween and I still got a Day2 and I had a wig on! Once you have your basic game down pack, experiment with different stuff. I’ve tried stuff you wouldn’t believe, and I won’t mention it here for self-incrimination

Relationships
Relationships are harder then any approach. Relationships take time/effort/patience and hard work. However most of it takes honesty. Honesty with yourself and the person you dealing with. I don’t know what your problem may be, but the community can’t help you with all your relationship problems (a pick up Guru isn’t a certified psychologists or therapists, well most aren’t). The best relationship is one were you and your significant other are on the same page working towards the same goal, if your goal and vision is aligned that’s the type of relationship you want to be in. If you are in relationship that’s always filled with doubt/anger/jealously/cheating maybe it’s time to reconsider.

Breakups
Breakups can hurt and suck. Believe you me I’ve been there. The best way to get over them is to give yourself as much time as you need. You aren’t gonna get over it in one night; I don’t care how alpha you are. If you were in a serious or sincere relationship (or both) it’s gonna take time. Re-discover some of your hobbies, hang out with friends try to focus on other things.

Outro

I’ve learned so much in the last year, concerning not only women but life. I didn’t type this as a method but to give guys insight in terms of what helped me. Meeting women shouldn’t be scary; it should be fun and an exciting experience. I didn’t want to mental masturbate; hence I tried to keep some of these as short as possible. I hope this helped you like it helped me.​