Compatibility in an LTR

For most DJs, sooner or later, they're going to consider an LTR. In a short term relationship, physical attraction is all that matters; if her attitude stinks or if she's clingy, you can easily NEXT her.

In an LTR, a DJ has to determine if the chick he's considering marrying and becoming the mother of his kids is not only a hot babe physically, but also an intelligent woman who can stimulate him intellectually.

If the DJ has a bachelor's degree, can he marry a high school graduate who's only interested in eating bonbons and watching Oprah Winfrey and the Young and the Restless? Rest assured that the sex may be great and she still has a high Interest Level in the DJ, but the sex will level off and then what's there to keep the relationship/marriage going for decades?

It's stimulating conversations that will keep the embers of an LTR burning strongly. Being able to converse with your wife who went to university, earned her degree and kept herself up-to-date with current events and has made educating herself a lifetime affair will energize your LTR and keep you intellectually challenged.

Consider strongly the gal's penchant for higher education and continued learning before you ask her hand in marriage. There's more to an LTR than great sex. Compatibility is a bigger issue. Are you two compatible on an intellectual plateau? That hot ****tail waitress who dropped out of high school and that single mom with 2 kids from a relationship with a jerk with a Grade 6 education whom you are both dating, are they LTR material?

Good post, TND.

If I had read this post 6 months ago, I wouldn't have had the problems I had with my girlfriend. I would have dated alot of other women. She just broke up with me, but it was probably good, I didn't have the heart to break up with her.

It was these very issues. Conversations I found interesting bored her. She had the bad habit of being very crass and vulgar. I am the educated one and working on my masters and all I heard from her was *****ing about her life and how she hadn't done anything.

I still care for her and want to see her succeed but it is good we are breaking up

Originally posted by Take No Dirt:
Being able to converse with your wife who went to university, earned her degree and kept herself up-to-date with current events and has made educating herself a lifetime affair will energize your LTR and keep you intellectually challenged.

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There are a lot bright women out there who don't have degrees and will not get them. Intellectual curiousity is necessary in a potential mate (from my perspective).




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Don Juan de Florida

Originally posted by DJ de Florida:
There are a lot bright women out there who don't have degrees and will not get them. Intellectual curiousity is necessary in a potential mate (from my perspective).

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I agree, also there are many college educated(and beyond) women that have no intellectual curiousity. I have seen many girls about 22-26 that are college educated go through a whole pre-teen stage again, to the point of being boy-band crazy.



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The very first step to becoming what you want to be is to accept all responsibility for the situation you are in.
in short: quit whining!!!!!!!!!

Why should I care about her, because she looks good? She has given me no reason to care yet.

screw what's right, do what works.

well i agree totally with TND.

when u are talking about LTR, physical attraction will play a relatively low role. the more important things will come in like personality, character and the value u feel of yourself when u are with him/her.

and many times i have heard gal friends told me they are attracted to the guy they are with in an LTR due to a unexplicable reason.

i have figured that out to be how the guy make the gal feel about herself when she is with the guy.

gals, especially asian, would like a guy who can dominate her and make her submit willlingly. she has to FEEL that the guy is superior from the bottom of her heart.

gals no matter how old they are will also like to feel like a little gal being doted on by their loved one.

for those interested in LTR:
1. U need to convince that u are in control.
2. Have a lot more self-confidence than her.
3. Be able to dote her like a little gal but at the same time respect her like a mature woman.

YES YES YES ABSOLO-F*CKING-LUTELY!

To me, wit and intelligence are more important than physical appearances, and all things being equal I'd rather have a brilliant 6-7 than a 10 who was a little dull-witted.



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CASANOVA

"All dating is prostitution. It's just that sometimes you don't get what you pay for."
- Hyde, from 'That 70's Show'

"He's gonna make some lady very happy... and then very, very sad."
- Dale, from 'King of the Hill'

Yes, you guys are mostly right.

I'm just pissed because I'm going out with this beautiful girl that ain't where I'm at mentally. I don't find too much conversation with her, she's more the housewife type.

But strangely I think I'm satisfied with that, as opposed to you fellas. There IS the potential for growth throughout the years you know, intellectually. I could be satisfied w/ simplicity.

Everything is perfect except for her intellect, she doesn't do anything stupid, but she isn't exactly up to talking about God or the complex issues of our world today, but then again, I don't know many people who are!

I'm just afraid if I leave this suitable mate, I won't find a better one. A good woman is REALLY hard to find these days. One that won't **** other guys, or spend all your money or divorce you; take your house and run off w/ the real estate agent as happened to my boss. I may have a LTR in the works here.

KeepItSimpleStupid,
Loverman

I agree fully with Take No Dirt, but her having a degree is no guarantee that she will want to be intellectually stimulated.

I basically date only women who have Masters Degrees and, to be honest, they are no different than any other girl. While they may be smart in their particular chosen field, that doesn't mean they will be relationship smart etc.

But "compatibility" in just about all ways is your ultimate LTR test.

This is true. I know a wide variety of people. I have a friend who went through Organic Chemistry and has taken all types of advanced math courses i.e. Calculus and Analytical Geometry. What blows my mind is some of these girls have the uncanny ability to comprehend complex equations and theories but lack the common sense to do simple tasks. I think being on your level mentally is a great standard to have but a degree doesn't mean squat.

Dizz

Two years ago, I would have completely agreed with you. Now I'm not so sure. I've begun to wonder if "compatibility" is just an illusion, if couples who do manage to keep an LTR working are only good at keeping the attraction going. There are a number of women you meet whom, by all logic and common sense, should be compatible with you, and even they know it too, but it still doesn't work out. Sometimes you can have total compatibility, as in wonderful conversation, common interests and even emotional chemistry, but feel no "spark", if you see the difference.

Again, I think part of the reason men fall for the compatibility myth is because they become attracted to women so much more easily than vice-versa. Even the most ordinary-looking woman can get attention from men without doing anything, whereas men really have to work at it (unless they already look like Brad Pitt or have a lot of money/power). So men deceive themselves into thinking that attraction PLUS common interests and a similar intellectual level equals compatibility, whereas the woman might see the situation as merely friendship or even less. Compatibility doesn't mean a thing to women, only attraction matters.

The answer? Focus on attraction first and foremost. Keep it going. If you can't do that, then it doesn't matter in the slightest how "perfect" you are for each other, because once the attraction's gone... she'll bail.

Good advice, but also you have to judge if she's the type who will commit to a LTR and return your feelings. Too many guys (myself included) make the mistake of developing feelings for a girl who's not ready to commit and hope they can change her. She feels it's getting too serious and leaves them broken hearted.

Personally, I only go for women who I see as potential LTR material and disregard any slvts or attention wh0res.