War Against Betaism
Master Don Juan
I'll recreate this thread every so often because I really think it's the one area that will dramatically boost anyone's confidence and game in an instant. What is that area? It's not being ****y and funny, not about kino, and not about flirting. It is conversation skills.
What is one of the most common questions that people have on this forum? Other than issues with one-itis, it's usually stuff like "What do I say to her?" or "What should I say in this situation?" and sometimes you'll have the "I don't know what to say!" People make threads asking what they should have said, they get some answers, they throw themselves into the field once more, confident that they can prevent anymore awkward silences with the advice given to them memorized, only to come back creating another topic on exactly the same thing..."What do I say?"
People enter conversations with their bag full of interesting stories and clever and witty lines thinking about ME ME ME! They forget that there is another person in the conversation, and the conversation ends up being one sided. When they have exhausted talking about ME ME ME, what follows is the dreaded awkward silence. This, above anything else, is what people want to avoid when meeting a new person or trying to escalate the conversation further.
How do you develop conversation skills? Simple. Stop thinking about ME ME ME! Start thinking about THEM! The greatest conversationalists aren't the greatest storytellers; they don't have stories to tell about climbing mountains, surviving accidents, going through hardships, slaying dragons and battling witches, and if they do, guess what? They don't talk about them. They don't talk about themselves period. They listen!
The greatest conversationlists aren't the greatest talkers, but the greatest listeners. Don't become an expert talker, become an expert listener.
How does this translate into having great conversation skills? Simple. Women love to talk about themselves. When you listen to what people have to say, they will love you for listening to them more than hearing about who your popular friend is or what club you went to last Friday. You know what's great about all of this? You don't have to be fretting over what to say because you're going to be making the girl do all the talking.
So how do you get a girl to talk about herself? Ask questions that will get her talking about herself. Since this is the high school forum, if you're talking to a girl from another school, ask her "What school do you go to?" If she is in the same school, "What classes do you have?" or "Who do you hang out with?" Just think of any general open ended question.
Now, what next? Carry on the conversation! If she says she goes to a different school, ask her where her school is at. If she says she has ap math, ask her how that class is. If she tells you who she hangs out with and you don't know who that is, ask "Oh who's that?" Just keep on asking questions that will keep talking about herself. Only talk about yourself when she asks questions about you. When you reach that part, you'll know she's interested.
And you know the great part about this? It is a lot easier to develop than kino, flirting, etc. You can practice this with your parents, your teachers, your friends, anyone!
If you want to know more, this is all stuff that I got out of the book "How To Make Great Conversations And Small Talk" by Sean McPheat. It is even better than what I wrote and is a lot more concise and paints a better picture.
What is one of the most common questions that people have on this forum? Other than issues with one-itis, it's usually stuff like "What do I say to her?" or "What should I say in this situation?" and sometimes you'll have the "I don't know what to say!" People make threads asking what they should have said, they get some answers, they throw themselves into the field once more, confident that they can prevent anymore awkward silences with the advice given to them memorized, only to come back creating another topic on exactly the same thing..."What do I say?"
People enter conversations with their bag full of interesting stories and clever and witty lines thinking about ME ME ME! They forget that there is another person in the conversation, and the conversation ends up being one sided. When they have exhausted talking about ME ME ME, what follows is the dreaded awkward silence. This, above anything else, is what people want to avoid when meeting a new person or trying to escalate the conversation further.
How do you develop conversation skills? Simple. Stop thinking about ME ME ME! Start thinking about THEM! The greatest conversationalists aren't the greatest storytellers; they don't have stories to tell about climbing mountains, surviving accidents, going through hardships, slaying dragons and battling witches, and if they do, guess what? They don't talk about them. They don't talk about themselves period. They listen!
The greatest conversationlists aren't the greatest talkers, but the greatest listeners. Don't become an expert talker, become an expert listener.
How does this translate into having great conversation skills? Simple. Women love to talk about themselves. When you listen to what people have to say, they will love you for listening to them more than hearing about who your popular friend is or what club you went to last Friday. You know what's great about all of this? You don't have to be fretting over what to say because you're going to be making the girl do all the talking.
So how do you get a girl to talk about herself? Ask questions that will get her talking about herself. Since this is the high school forum, if you're talking to a girl from another school, ask her "What school do you go to?" If she is in the same school, "What classes do you have?" or "Who do you hang out with?" Just think of any general open ended question.
Now, what next? Carry on the conversation! If she says she goes to a different school, ask her where her school is at. If she says she has ap math, ask her how that class is. If she tells you who she hangs out with and you don't know who that is, ask "Oh who's that?" Just keep on asking questions that will keep talking about herself. Only talk about yourself when she asks questions about you. When you reach that part, you'll know she's interested.
And you know the great part about this? It is a lot easier to develop than kino, flirting, etc. You can practice this with your parents, your teachers, your friends, anyone!
If you want to know more, this is all stuff that I got out of the book "How To Make Great Conversations And Small Talk" by Sean McPheat. It is even better than what I wrote and is a lot more concise and paints a better picture.
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