I am done......Absolutely ridiculous...

I went out on a date Saturday. I kiss a girl, she has a great time. She texts me and says she had a great time at the end. I call Monday and haven't heard from her at all. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. I cannot believe that a woman could have that much fun, could talk about next week and tell me where she wants to take me during the day, kiss me and make out, and not call me back. I am sorry but I give up. I am going back to banging broads one night stand. Are you fuvking kidding me? How does a woman not return a phone call after a great date? Is this a joke? Is the man upstairs playing a joke on me? Is there an exboyfriend or another guy that this girl has? I am so fuvking angry right now. I go back to dating chicks and look what happens, I get fuvked. I am absolutely stunned and baffled right now. Please stop telling me to go get four or five more girls. I just want to know what happened here. I am done. Fuvk this dating bullsht.

Isolated incident perhaps, with a dash of some oneitis. Try not to be so emotional.

I don't even know why you posted this.

The answer is always the same. It's another guy.

You are the sucker for trying to actually take a relationship seriously. That shyt went out in the 60's. It's just all about banging hos, no one tries to get into a real relationship these days (even women). Don't go back to one night stands, just become a player, then who gives a fvck if some random bytch doesn't call back, just call up one of your other hos.

These things happen sometimes through no fault of your own. Women complain that we do it to them all the time. I'm in a similar mindframe to you right now, for different reasons, but I know that no good can come of it. It's all part of the game and you can't take it personally.

Edit: No, it's not ALWAYS about another guy. But it is pretty likely.

I figured it out I think. During my date she texted someone, she said it was a female friend. Before we got to the bar she was saying "I shouldn't stay out too late, I have to wake up early tomorrow". I think what happened was she texted her exboyfriend or another guy. The reason I say this is that two reasons She wanted to leave a few minutes after her second texts. It was only midnight. Her excuse was that she had to wake up early for a bday party for her niece. She then texted me to say thanks and all that BS on her way home, but when I replied she never replied back. Guarantee she was already there. I'm gonna text her the following on Thursday;

Hey, it's Trent. Tried to call u earlier this week and never heard from you but wanted to give it one last shot. Wanted to see if you wanted to hang out this weekend. I don't know if you are seeing someone but it seems like you are, if that's the case than I wish you the best. But if you aren't and are interested, hit me up. Later....

Or something like that. What you think?

trent i think zero is a idiot, (dont mind my comments i kid!)

anyway if you went out saturday and its monday and you still havent talked to her dont freak out, you sound really needy, maybe her mother died? maybe she doesnt want to portray as being thirsty? maybe she actually has a life not always revolving around you, dont make assumptions its another dude, even if it is . who cares? dont spend that message you will lose her instantly lol, let her call you, you called her already once dont be a stalker, even if it takes 2 weeks youll know if the date was great for her , number one rule STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS

trent81 said:

I figured it out I think. Hey, it's Trent. Tried to call u earlier this week and never heard from you but wanted to give it one last shot. Wanted to see if you wanted to hang out this weekend. I don't know if you are seeing someone but it seems like you are, if that's the case than I wish you the best. But if you aren't and are interested, hit me up. Later....

Or something like that. What you think?

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I would just message her something like: 'Hi it's Trent. If you want to get together again sometime soon let me know. If I don't hear from you I'll assume you're not interested. Take care x'.

Then don't contact her again. And if she DOES contact you, suggest meeting up. If she doesn't reciprocate, kick her to the curb and move on. No 'texting back and forth', no 'how are you/what you been up to' bullsh*t. You get to the point, and if she doesn't agree to meet up you move on. If she tries to say 'let's just be friends', you tell her 'I'm looking for a lover, not just a friend...or rather a lover who can also be a good friend, but not just a platonic friend. Let me know whether we're on the same page or not'.

And I wouldn't over-analyse this stuff or let it get you down. Mate, I've been where you are before and I KNOW it hurts and it's frustrating. But the solution is to start being hardline with girls, as I suggested above, i.e. if she doesn't reciprocate you cut her loose. No being friends/text buddies/email buddies etc in the vain hope she will one day have sex with you.

Situations like yours could be avoided or miminised if guys were just upfront and direct with women about their intentions. That way, you weed out the girls who are truly interested from those who aren't.

Ideally, you want to tell women what I said above IN THE FIRST FEW MINUTES OF MEETING THEM, and then you don't agree to meeting up a second time (for a 'date' or whatever) unless they are genuinely interested in you as a lover. Before you number close a girl you can tell her: 'I only want to exchange numbers with you if you are genuinely interested in hooking up, otherwise I'm not gonna waste my time. Let me know if we're on the same page'. Tell them also: 'I don't wanna be your text message buddy or your Facebook buddy or your email buddy or your MySpace buddy. I'm interested in real human interactions with girls who are interested in being lovers'.

I've found all the above has helped me avoid situations like yours. Now it might sound a bit 'harsh' or 'forward' to stay stuff like that to girls in the first conversation, and it might seem out of your comfort zone, but trust me it will help you weed out those girls who are timewasters from those who really do like you sexually.

Good luck and keep your head up.

trent81 said:

I'm gonna text her the following on Thursday;

Hey, it's Trent. Tried to call u earlier this week and never heard from you but wanted to give it one last shot. Wanted to see if you wanted to hang out this weekend. I don't know if you are seeing someone but it seems like you are, if that's the case than I wish you the best. But if you aren't and are interested, hit me up. Later....

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NO. DON'T SAY THAT.

My goodness...haven't you guys figured out that women are emotional yet?

Let's disect this text you plan on sending to her,and I'll point out all the WRONG VIBES you're unintentionally sending her about yourself.


1: "I tried calling u earlier this week and never heard from you..."

Although this isn't that bad we're taking into consideration how this may look from her point of view. This is letting her know that you're seemingly more invested in her than she is in you.

That's bad.

Considering you two have only had one date,you calling her and not hearing from her shouldn't be that big of a deal. You shouldn't even be bringing it up unless you two talk to each other and she asks why she hasn't heard from you since the date.

2: "...wanted to give it one last shot".

One last shot? After only one date? Come on dude.

Usually,things only get to "one last shot" after you've tried and tried and tried,and everything else you've done has failed.

And I know you haven't expended that kind of effort into her yet. I mean come on,the first date was only 4 days ago on Saturday.

She probably won't even know what you mean. She'll be like,"One last shot? What is he talking about? We went out on one date,4 days ago,and now he's talking about one last shot? Wow. Maybe it's a good thing I saw this side of him before I got any deeper involved".

3: "I don't know if you're seeing someone,but it seems like you are..."

And this is the worst one of all. It reeks of insecurity. And what if she is seeing someone else? What's that to you? You're not her boyfriend. For pete's sake dude,you've only taken her out on ONE DATE.

You saying this to her is 10 times worse than all the other things put together.

Instead of you worrying about whether or not she's seeing someone else,(which is none of your business),you should be focusing on presenting the best "YOU" possible to her so she'll want to choose you over that other guy...IF THERE EVEN IS SOMEONE ELSE.

Once that happens,and things progress into a relationship,THEN you can be concerned with whether or not she's seeing someone else.

Going out on one date with a girl doesn't give you any authority or say so over her dating life.

The two of you being in a commited,monogamous relationship does.

4: "if that's the case,then I wish you the best".

That's just flat out "nice guy". Not really that big of a deal,but it does show her you're willing to just let her go,and not in a good way. This type of "letting her go" is like self-sacrificing,like "I don't care about me,as long as you're happy".

That's not good.


And 5: "...but if you aren't and are interested,hit me up".

No good bro. You're the prize,remember? But you just told her she can take it or leave it. Like,"if you want me,I'm here. If not,then I wish you the best".


Who wants a prize like that?

The reason a prize is a prize is because you had to put some effort into obtaining it. It didn't just fall into your lap.

That number 5,if you send that to her,I PROMISE YOU,you'll turn her OFF. Where's the challenge?

"If you want me,here I am".

That's too easy.

No.

Go on about your business. If she calls you and wants to go out,be like,"Umm...well...I'll probably be busy on (whatever day),but I'll be free on (whatever day) after 5 oclock (or whatever time).

Don't let her think you're just sitting around the house twittering your thumbs waiting on the phone to ring.

Go ahead and contact her again if you want,BUT PLEASE don't use that HORRIBLE first draft you came up with.

I would put in my two cents but Igetit pretty much said everything i was going too lol

I just want to know what happened here.


When you went out with her, one of you was just there to have fun in the moment without worrying about tomorrow. The other one was making big plans so as to set themself up for disappointment.

Another thing you don't really understand is that words don't mean anything to women. You are heartfelt, direct, logical, and honest. That just doesn't work, and you cannot expect the same from a woman. You want her to flat out tell you "you're nice, but I like this other guy, have a nice life" but a woman will hardly ever do that. They will make up bs excuses that avoid confrontation and attempt to not hurt your feelings. Of course, the bs lies are a lot worse than blunt honesty, but that is logical and once again not a part of how women think.

I still say I have the most accurate post in this thread. It's guaranteed another guy and you're a fcking idiot for trying to make some kind of relationship out of this instead of just banging her.

Bible_Belt said:

I just want to know what happened here.


When you went out with her, one of you was just there to have fun in the moment without worrying about tomorrow. The other one was making big plans so as to set themself up for disappointment.

Another thing you don't really understand is that words don't mean anything to women. You are heartfelt, direct, logical, and honest. That just doesn't work, and you cannot expect the same from a woman. You want her to flat out tell you "you're nice, but I like this other guy, have a nice life" but a woman will hardly ever do that. They will make up bs excuses that avoid confrontation and attempt to not hurt your feelings. Of course, the bs lies are a lot worse than blunt honesty, but that is logical and once again not a part of how women think.

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No argument there!

My advice is to call her up. If you get the voicemail this is all you say.

"Hey, it's Trent. Talk to you later."

Nothing more, nothing less. And practice it a bunch so you aren't all nervous when you call. Once you get it right and you should sound like you're saying it with a hint of authority using your big boy voice (which means having some bass in your voice).

Thanks for your responses. I won't send that text. I was just angry. Still am. I still don't have an answer to the original question in my mind. Why would she have a good time and not call me back? I guess I will never know, and it sounds like this happens pretty frequently to guys. You take a girl out, show her a good time, but then she vanishes. It's crazy. I will call or text one more time and then that's it. It sucks cause if the date sucked I could understand, this I can't.

Geesh, the woman is supposed to want to settle the man down not the other way around. Stop thinking like a woman, you've seen too much lifetime dude.

Zero is at least partially right, just stay busy with other women (and life) and stop worrying so much about someone you don't even really know anything about. If you were the kind of guy who did that, they will very rarely flake in the first place.

You may have had a great time with her, but that doesn't mean she felt attraction for u. I'm betting that u didn't set the frame right...it's clear that ur the one who cares more, and she can sense that. Therefore she has the power/control. I would go no contact for awhile, contact her again down the road, and set the frame right...aka be more of a jerk this time.

I feel you pain bro, I'm stuck in a similar situation and I must say that there is good advice in this thread. Dude go with the forget her mentality. Live your life and do **** on your terms.

It's depressing and you just want someone solid in your life....I know. It's a numbers game brother and one day that female that you get will want what you want too.. It will click but you gotta man up and stop thinking long term...with someone you just met one time.

Hard advice to follow and I'm trying...If you try too Trent.

That's what this forum is about......

A kiss? Means nothing.

A text after a date saying she had fun? Means nothing.

Learn to brush these off your chest and meet more girls. Go online if you have to. It is frustrating but the only cure is spinning plates.

Vlad the Impaler said:

A kiss? Means nothing.

A text after a date saying she had fun? Means nothing.

Learn to brush these off your chest and meet more girls. Go online if you have to. It is frustrating but the only cure is spinning plates.

Click to expand...

I hate online dating since it hasn't worked for me but spin more plates FTW!

I believe I read somewhere that when Mohammed Ali was in trouble during a fight, slumped in his corner; Angelo Dundee slapped him and said "get your f___in head up, your the champion of the world"!

Trent, you have always been right on, and a great DJ. So... <slap> get yer head up... you are the prize. An accomplished DJ. Just sit back all confident, and let her come to you. act like you can take or leave her. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and classify this as "temporary insanity" LOL

This is what happens when you date Idiot Chicks.

Basically, this HO has no respect for you. And you are a fool for thinking she's anything but a HO.

Who knows what the reason was?

• Another Dude...
• Mom Got Sick...
• she died...

..the fact is...she's not calling you back.

If she's dead, what are you gonna do?

This happens ALL THE TIME.

It happened to me a few weeks ago. Similar Situation. Part of the Game.

You can do two things.

1) Forget her and If and when you see her again, just smile are her and SAY NOTHING...i mean NOTHING. Just keep walking...

Get more numbers, more chicks. Improve your game...keep going. Forget this Looser.

2) If you really want to find out, track her down and confront her.

That's Right! Don't let her get away with this chit.

Find her and say "Hey, i need 2 minutes of your time." (say it with authority). Then say "Did something happen to u?" She will make up some kinda excuse. Then say "you know it would have been MATURE and CONSIDERATE of you if you would have called to let me know. You know, you had me fooled, I actually THOUGHT you were a NICE person. " Walk off.

Don't worry, you and her aren't going to be friends, and her boyfriend won't try and kick your ass. Actually, if the BF is there...it makes it even better. You can tell him that the other night, you had your tongue down her throat and she's a good kisser.

IF you follow through with Option 2, it doesn't mean you are a Stalker or a Maniac. It means that you are a take no chit kinda of guy who doesn't put up with lying little HO's.

ADVICE
Next time, don't get so serious about some little Chit Chick who's yanking your chain. Make some moves fast, like get her in the sack ASAP. First dates are job interviews. She failed the interview.