Apathy, Work Schedule, and Poonski

I moved to the Bronx in NYC and started my hospital residency.

The days start early and end late. On a typical day I'll work 10-14 hours- not including days where I'm on call for 24-28 hours straight, sometimes without any sleep.

Long story short- I have rings under my eyes most of the time and feel exhausted pretty much all the time.

All this combined means that its next to impossible for me to go out to meet girls. On weeknights I have to get to bed around 9- so that I can get up at 5am and repeat the process while on weekends I'm so tired that I don't want to even leave the house. I COULD force myself- but when I do I'm just miserable and even more tired by the time things get "busy" around 11pm-12am.

What's worse is that all the information I've devoured on the nature of women has made me even more apathetic to the idea. I ask myself "what's the point?"

So I can get married, only to have wifey cheat with a smooth talking Player, who makes her vag tingle, and have her take all the things and money I've worked so hard for?

To get in a relationship so that I have to deal with all the bs tests and drama that chicks generate as time goes on? To have to spend my time and energy on enertaining her so she dosen't get "bored" with the relationship and then proceed to hop onto another dudes johnson and break my heart because I'm busy with work?

Have some f-buddies? Not a bad idea assuming they would get an abortion if the condom broke- but do I really want to put so much of my future finanical earnings, over the next 21 years, in the capricious amoral hands of a woman who might try to knock herself up despite any feelings I might have on the matter?

Cheat with a taken woman? Ideal really, in that someone else gets to foot the bill if she gets knocked up- but that assumes that you won't get screwed down the line for childsupport if hubby desides to get a paternity test.

Basically tiredness aside- I find I keep asking myself "is the benefit of physical pleasure worth the finanical risk entailed by sleeping with one?" The answer of is of course- probably not. But being the male human being that I am, I of course, still desire to sleep with them and would undoubtedly do so if they were naked before me at this very moment; so this brings me to an interesting conundrum.

I desire poon-ski- and currently there is no poonski me for me-ski- so what am I suppose to doski? I need to somehow overcome my exhaustion and information induced apathy/negativity to somehow meet and bed more women. I'm open to suggestions.

Aenigma said:

What's worse is that all the information I've devoured on the nature of women has made me even more apathetic to the idea. I ask myself "what's the point?"

So I can get married, only to have wifey cheat with a smooth talking Player, who makes her vag tingle, and have her take all the things and money I've worked so hard for?

To get in a relationship so that I have to deal with all the bs tests and drama that chicks generate as time goes on? To have to spend my time and energy on enertaining her so she dosen't get "bored" with the relationship and then proceed to hop onto another dudes johnson and break my heart because I'm busy with work?

Have some f-buddies? Not a bad idea assuming they would get an abortion if the condom broke- but do I really want to put so much of my future finanical earnings, over the next 21 years, in the capricious amoral hands of a woman who might try to knock herself up despite any feelings I might have on the matter?

Cheat with a taken woman? Ideal really, in that someone else gets to foot the bill if she gets knocked up- but that assumes that you won't get screwed down the line for childsupport if hubby desides to get a paternity test.

Basically tiredness aside- I find I keep asking myself "is the benefit of physical pleasure worth the finanical risk entailed by sleeping with one?" The answer of is of course- probably not.

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Great summary of the situation most American men are in!

Well I'm not a resident so I cant speak from any experience...but there has got to be other residents and/or nurses who would be empathetic to your plight. You know, no-strings-attached sex until one of you develops the inevitable feelings and prompts an awkward split?

I guess it's either that or get a gf who is also a resident. That seems to be the case with a lot of them where I work.

I'm interviewing at med schools right now and your post makes me really think twice about it....like fvck, is this really worth it?? It seems so great from a distance.

You sound like you need some hobbies.
Do you have any pursuits, or things you enjoy doing?

Is all your free time taken up by work?
Are you sure that there is no other option than to continue living this kind of lifestyle with this type of schedule??
What do you value more, the job(and all the benefits that come from it) , or your well being and having your needs met (and all the benefits that come from that)??

If you feel you absolutely cannot change your schedule to allow more free time for hobbies and doing things that bring you joy, then you may have to look into ways to handle all the stress and frustration that builds up when one's needs arent being met.
Remember, most people become very very frustrated, irritated, lash out, defensive, and feel victimized when their needs arent being met.
Do those people have what you want?
What kind of lifestyle do those people have?



Aenigma, I believe you have to truly clearly Identify WHAT you Value.
And right now, your happiness, well being and peace of mind apparently are not at all healthy or fulfilled.
How can that be if you do Value them?
could be that perhaps you don't??

The only way you can get yourself out of that is to identify that which you truly want so that your needs are met.
If you dont value your needs, your wants, yourSelf, then you wont budge out of your 'comfort' zone.

Youve also got these detrimental beliefs, while are true in a lot of women and relationships,are holding you back from going out and finding what you need and want in life.



This information (thusly, your beliefs formed from the information you consciously accepted into your mind) is not helping you right now, its hindering you. Its stopping you in your tracks.


Information, knowledge, data, does not translate into Wisdom automatically, Aenigma.

Experience in something does not automatically translate into Expertise.



We talk about setting the frame, and creating the life we want to live,be the leader, decisive, never settle, etc...
what are your thoughts on that?
Do you feel its all nonsense? That we're just helpless victims? We're not free to choose?

You will have to truly ,clearly and honestly find these answers for yourself.
What lifestyle do you value?
Your choices and beliefs will create that lifestyle.
What are you basing your choices on? On what truths? On what values and preferences?

That is how you are making your choices.

When we want health, honestly, we make conscious choices for health.
We go TO health. We move TO heath. Or being healthier at least.

What choices are you making that are taking you where you want to go?

Colossus said:

Well I'm not a resident so I cant speak from any experience...but there has got to be other residents and/or nurses who would be empathetic to your plight. You know, no-strings-attached sex until one of you develops the inevitable feelings and prompts an awkward split?

I guess it's either that or get a gf who is also a resident. That seems to be the case with a lot of them where I work.

I'm interviewing at med schools right now and your post makes me really think twice about it....like fvck, is this really worth it?? It seems so great from a distance.

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I don't mind the long hours- I enjoy what I do and I like helping people; its also a much more rewarding then some bs coporate job where you're pushing papers, kissing ass, and playing politics all day.

You also get to make 6 figures in your early thirties (low to mid to high depending on speciality) and a great deal of income security.

I plan on using the income to start up alternative streams of income in other businesses- instead of blowing it on expensive houses/cars/bullcrap, like women and married doctors do, so I have a long term plan making it worthwhile as well.

As for f-ing other residents- its certainly an option I've considered; but I'm activly avoiding that option right now. I'm very much of the opinion that you shouldn't shyt where you eat.

I know that other residents like to f students that rotate through- seeing as how they're there and gone in about a month leading to a nice clean break- and that's an option I might consider, but for right now I'm trying to think of options outside of work.

I certainly respect your choice to become a doctor. If there is a profession that is worthy of respect it is indeed medicine. My mom is a damn good ER nurse and I know she makes a difference in a lot of people's lives.

That said, I couldn't do it. There is just no amount of money or prestige in the world that I would trade for that kind of a work schedule.

I realize that this is only temporary, and that the grass does definitely get greener, but at the end of the day it's another job. A good job, no doubt, but unless you parlay your knowledge into writing a book or something you still have to trade x amount of hours for x amount of pay.

Now anyone who has a passion for this type of job should definitely try to pursue it. I just wouldn't do it for the prestige and money alone.

To answer your question though, I think you probably need to forget about women for now. Not that you can't hook up now and then when opportunity presents itself (which it always does), but I've been in your shoes work wise and I was in no shape to be actively looking to pick up women.

And I feel your pain regarding the "burden of knowledge". Once you have seen the wizard behind the curtain it's hard to remain optimistic.

I'll tell you what though. That knowledge will probably save you a world of BS down the road. You are getting close to making some good coin. You KNOW that for a woman a marriage certificate is the equivalent of an undated check in the amount of half your sh!t at the time she decides to cash it.

Guys like us don't belong in marriages. Your stock is going to skyrocket once you're settled into your profession. I'm in the same boat. Just started a new business that looks like it's going to be my ticket back into early retirement.

Things will come together for you. In the meantime, there are hookers

P.S.- just read your last post. Good to know you still have your eye on the end goal with using your cashflow to set up other streams of income. Maybe one day you can become a part time doctor The only thing better than a job you enjoy is not having to rely on it to pay the mortgage.

Keep your eyes on the prize.As you know, most women are not all prizes. SO, focus on your degree and put women on the back burner. In a couple more years, you will have money and more time[but not necessarily the desire to chase-women are like car dealers,always thinking what they are selling is worth more than it is to some of us].Since I'm single again, I have all kinds of women thinking I should chase them, put up with what the average guy will, etc. I'm not average and if a woman isn't smart enough to realize that,she isn't smart enough to be with me.