Being Persistent vs. Being Pushy

Bible_Belt

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Women are attracted to a guy who is persistent, but they are put off by a guy who is pushy. Most men don't know the difference.

The key is understanding that women are fickle. They will reject you one day, and then lust after you the next. That is simply part of being female. Men will remember a rejection forever, but the woman will have forgotten.

Other men are simply pushy. They don't give women enough time to have a change of thought. As soon as they are told no, then they immediately ask the same thing again. That is the difference between pushy and persistent. The latter can handle rejection without turning a blind eye to the same girl later, after she might be feeling different.

Obviously, this is not to encourage oneitis - it is more to help with plate-spinning. Sometimes, a girl will reject you, so you give her space and go talk to other girls, that is the right thing to do - just remember to come back to that girl later. Forget the earlier rejection, and throw out a light and different proposal from last time. Sometimes the same girl will be like a completely different person - you just caught her at a better time.

It helps to not take rejection personally. Once you have been told no by the same girl who later told you nothing but yes, you begin to understand that women change their mind a lot. That is the female prerogative. I have seen t-shirts that say 'I have the pvssy; I make the rules.' And I agree. But there is plenty of pvssy, and each pvssy's set of rules change all the time.

So, when she says "no"...or just ignores you, which is even worse...she means it. You lost. You fail. It hurts, I know. Leave the poor girl alone, because you just struck out. Walk away and go talk to other girls...but don't hate her for hurting you. It is hard to do, but you have to leave it behind. After time has passed, she might feel very differently, but that can only be taken advantage of if you let the first rejection go.

Pushy is getting offended and firing back insistence. Patient is understanding women. Don't get offended. Understand that women are fickle, and realize that you can still keep them on the shelf for when the tide of the emotions shifts back into your favor.
 

FutureSpartan

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Good post bible...it never hurts to keep trying, within reason. A lot of girls may genuinely be too busy. They may be playing "hard to get" in some weird attempt to make you more attracted to them. They may flake as a tool to weed out the "noncommitted guys"

And of course, they could simply just not be attracted to you either.

But the thing is, we will really never know, and if a girl decides to give out her number, well a man is entitled to keep trying until he hears "no" "f*ck off" etc...unfazed persistance is the masculine counterpart to her feminine indecisiveness and flakiness.
 

Masked_angel

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Fantastic!
 

Joppa

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donjuanapprentice01 said:
Good info man... how long should you wait before asking her out again?
It's pretty odd how everyone (no, I dont mean literally everyone) on this forum seems to think that there is this set of rules that you HAVE to follow or you will never succeed with women.

Let me tell you something: THERE ARE NO SUCH RULES.

Yes, there are guidelines, that you can follow if you want to. But just beacuse you don't follow them doesn't mean that you will fail.

Solution: BE a highvalue guy. Work on your mindset. And it won't really matter what you do. It won't really matter if you give away your frame. You can still succeed.

Period.
 

acw

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True...your mind and thoughts are your most valuable asset...!



Joppa said:
It's pretty odd how everyone (no, I dont mean literally everyone) on this forum seems to think that there is this set of rules that you HAVE to follow or you will never succeed with women.

Let me tell you something: THERE ARE NO SUCH RULES.

Yes, there are guidelines, that you can follow if you want to. But just beacuse you don't follow them doesn't mean that you will fail.

Solution: BE a highvalue guy. Work on your mindset. And it won't really matter what you do. It won't really matter if you give away your frame. You can still succeed.

Period.
 

jafyk

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I deliberated if I should respond to this thread or not. Well, I'd like to say after reading this it really makes me ponder what a woman has to offer besides sex because it seems a lot of the motivation of people here is sex. I was seeing a girl we had had sex and all. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship I understood that and maintained contact all the same. Most times she'd initiate conversations via facebook. She invited me for a weekend with her family it was fun and all including sex. I had planned for us to go on a date a week later she agreed and then 3 days before the date. She says that she didn't want to hang out like she used to with me. She had done this before and we weren't in touch for a while and then reconnected...fast forward to 4 days later. She cancelled our date said it wasn't a good idea. Next day found out she had hung out with a supposed friend and spent the night. When I spoke to him about what was going on he admitted to seeing her and that she said she wasn't talking to me and denied everything that happened between me and her even though I showed him proof. This friend told me he wasn't going to have anything to do with her and now they are back together and I'm the one frozen out. Anyway, besides venting my point is why would I wanna just keep going back and forth with a girl because some times she wants to be fickle just for the sex? Perhaps you may call me bitter but stuff like this just turns me off about women because it seems like besides sex what more can they offer? I get the sex from then but I want something more and real.
 

Phenomenal One

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jafyk said:
I deliberated if I should respond to this thread or not. Well, I'd like to say after reading this it really makes me ponder what a woman has to offer besides sex because it seems a lot of the motivation of people here is sex. I was seeing a girl we had had sex and all. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship I understood that and maintained contact all the same. Most times she'd initiate conversations via facebook. She invited me for a weekend with her family it was fun and all including sex. I had planned for us to go on a date a week later she agreed and then 3 days before the date. She says that she didn't want to hang out like she used to with me. She had done this before and we weren't in touch for a while and then reconnected...fast forward to 4 days later. She cancelled our date said it wasn't a good idea. Next day found out she had hung out with a supposed friend and spent the night. When I spoke to him about what was going on he admitted to seeing her and that she said she wasn't talking to me and denied everything that happened between me and her even though I showed him proof. This friend told me he wasn't going to have anything to do with her and now they are back together and I'm the one frozen out. Anyway, besides venting my point is why would I wanna just keep going back and forth with a girl because some times she wants to be fickle just for the sex? Perhaps you may call me bitter but stuff like this just turns me off about women because it seems like besides sex what more can they offer? I get the sex from then but I want something more and real.

Are you feeling Lucky?
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=139948

Perhaps the single most useful tool women have possessed for centuries is their unknowablity. I made that word up, but it's applicable; women for hundreds of years have cultivated this sense of being unknowable, random or in worse case fickle or ambiguous. This is the feminine mystique and it goes hand in hand with the feminine prerogative - a woman always reserves the right to change her mind. While a Man must never be anything less than forthright and resolute - say what you mean, mean what you say - women are rewarded and reinforced for being elusive. In fact, if done with the right art, it's this elusiveness that makes her more desirable. However, to pull this off she must be (or seem to be) unknowable.
the response of some people when they see that i won't accept sh!t in my life is an almost "how dare you not sick it up and take this crap" attitude.
the same people than try and come to me b!tching and moaning about their spoiled children, abusive boyfriends and dishonest relatives.
 

jafyk

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No, I'm not feeling lucky, lol. The thing I hate about this whole thing is that it's affecting my ability to have trust in someone and it also pulls down my level of motivation. I go to social events talking and socializing with women is not the problem and they even seem to like and enjoy my company but in terms of getting a long term relationship which is what I prefer as opposed to random sex it seems to elude me. There's a girl I'm seeing and there's the sex but I'm not that physically attracted to her and she's not the best of kissers anyway but in terms of her character I don't really have any cause for complaint but I can't get past this physical. I don't wanna be in a serious relationship her while thinking of other girls because of their looks because this wouldn't be fair. Because I feel this way I'm not really investing myself in the relationship maybe this is why things seem cool. Maybe anyday from now she may call again to meet up and the sex happens and then what?Here's my dilema. Yet the one I am more physically attracted to is cold, doesn't express her feelings and has no loyalty. This is my frustration .Maybe somebody understands.
 
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