Article on marriage

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31452178/ns/today_relationships//

This is an interesting article on marriage by a woman who cheated on her husband. Then she and her friends come to the conclusion that marriage as a modern institution is outdated.

Be warned it is long, here's a quote to get you started

“When marriage was invented,” Ellen continues, “it was considered to be a kind of trade union for a woman, her protection against the sexually wandering male. But what’s happened to the sexually wandering male?

In our parents’ era, the guy hit 45, got the toupee, drove the red Porsche, and left his family for the young, hot secretary. We are unable to imagine any of the husbands driving anything with fewer than five seat belts."

apparently they're all married to betas.

Ok, i'm still reading this article as i post here... its long. But i had to post this.

"To work, to parent, to housekeep, to be the ones who schedule “date night,” only to be reprimanded in the home by male kitchen *****es, and then, in the bedroom, to be ignored — it’s a bum deal. And then our women’s magazines exhort us to rekindle the romance. You rarely see men’s magazines exhorting men to rekindle the romance."

I Lol'd. I hope someone can do a proper analysis of this article, i'm just not qualified.

Four different life situations were described in the article. One was the author who cheated on her husband, two others were her friends that were in sex-less marriages and the fourth was a single woman experiencing and enjoying many short-term relationships.

What it comes down to is that women are no longer afraid of speaking out about the fact that after a few years the "spark" disappears.

Cultural values were what held marriages together, but now that they're vanishing and because women have nothing to lose by getting divorced, there's no motivation to remain married. As mentioned in the article, women initiate the majority of divorces.

I decided to watch one of the videos that was posted next to the article, and it was just a bunch of women talking about how to find the "spark" again (date nights, experimenting in the bedroom, etc).

The fact of the matter is, once the fire's out, it's out for good. That's biology.

I agree with the author - marriage used to be necessary for survival, now it's just a tradition with no place in society. Unfortunately children ARE the victims, and I think if you want to have kids, you should make that commitment. Too bad our legal system enables the opposite.

The first thing i noted from the article was how conveniently the author glosses over the fact that SHE cheated. Perhaps she should've tried counseling before spreading her legs for another man.

Secondly, she seems to imply that marriage is somehow a walk in the park for men. And that all man are, in her words, "kitchen b1tch3s".

women and western society have nobody but themselves to blame for the men in this article. This is what they've been pushing men to become. Now that they have it, it doesn't seem like such a good idea after all.

thirdly, the solution that she comes up with at the end may seem reasonable on the surface, but look closer and it just marginalizes men further. In fact it seems like glorified ****holdery, if thats a word.

To paraphrase her " Let the husbands come in once or twice a week to build shelves and prepare that bouillabaisse and let the boyfriends come in to provide sex"

Wow talk about having your cake and eating it too!

game.r said:

To paraphrase her " Let the husbands come in once or twice a week to build shelves and prepare that bouillabaisse and let the boyfriends come in to provide sex"

Wow talk about having your cake and eating it too!

Click to expand...

No wonder her marriage failed. Look how self centered the above quote is. It is all about how men need to fit in to satisfy her HER wants.

I have seen women's attitude to relationships and marriage change in the past 3O years.
I can sum it up thus-
Back in my mothers day women entered marriage as a co-creator of a life time bond and a traditional family. They contributed in many ways through defined roles to ensure the success of the marriage. They did not regard marriage as a free ride in which men were their servants.
Contrast that with the situation today. I hear and meet young woman who regard marriage as an opportunity for a magic carpet ride in which they are ENTITLED to have all their wants and whims met just because they say so.
They treat their men like a domestic pet, a slave and a servant who is there to do her bidding. Modern women talk about their husbands as if they were a Personal Assistant not their MAN.

IT has all changed in 30 years.

jophil28 said:

No wonder her marriage failed. Look how self centered the above quote is. It is all about how men need to fit in to satisfy her HER wants.

I have seen women's attitude to relationships and marriage change in the past 3O years.
I can sum it up thus-
Back in my mothers day women entered marriage as a co-creator of a life time bond and a traditional family. They contributed in many ways through defined roles to ensure the success of the marriage. They did not regard marriage as a free ride in which men were their servants.
Contrast that with the situation today. I hear and meet young woman who regard marriage as an opportunity for a magic carpet ride in which they are ENTITLED to have all their wants and whims met just because they say so.
They treat their men like a domestic pet, a slave and a servant who is there to do her bidding. Modern women talk about their husbands as if they were a Personal Assistant not their MAN.

IT has all changed in 30 years.

Click to expand...

That's exactly the problem. Women expect the marriage to be the wedding day in perpetuity, with everyday centering around her unrealistic, media-driven expectations. As soon as reality hits, they're gone.

When I realized my wife was using me to be her slave so she could have the nice house, two kids, a dog, and a doting husband at her beck and call, I got the hell out.

Jophil is correct. That entire article was just a selfish woman's attempt at rationalizing her behavior by latching onto pseudo-scientific studies and blaming the institution instead of taking responsibility for her actions.

The author may believe we're programmed to fall in and out of love throughout our lives, and that may be so, but using that to justify cheating is a cop out, and even more despicable when children are involved. We all have unsavory biological urges, but that doesn't mean we are compelled to act on them.

The reality is that many couples DO stay together for life, and these are the couples that are likely to raise well-adjusted, happy, successful children. If the aim is to have a family, I should think that this is enough to make one think twice before dissolving your marriage.

The woman that wrote the article was a poor choice for a wife, and it is clearly reflected in her writing. Her children apparently only warrant a passing mention and a halfhearted reassurance that they are fine with the divorce; meanwhile, the majority of the article is devoted to girl talk and a sense of entitlement, while painting marriage as oppressive and provider males as passionless drones. It comes as no shock that her background is in theatre, for she clearly loves drama more than her children.

The rule about b!tching about something is not to do it unless you can provide an alternative, and the author fails to do this aside from her laughable "tribal" solution. It would be far better to say that marriage is not for everyone; clearly, it was not for her. As of right now, though, a stable marriage is the best environment to raise children, and that's enough to justify its existence.

LeftyLoosey said:

When I realized my wife was using me to be her slave so she could have the nice house, two kids, a dog, and a doting husband at her beck and call, I got the hell out.

Click to expand...

The trick is to unearth an agenda like this BEFORE you marry her.
Next time you will be better prepared and wiser - I hope.

game.r said:

“When marriage was invented,” Ellen continues, “it was considered to be a kind of trade union for a woman, her protection against the sexually wandering male. But what’s happened to the sexually wandering male?

Click to expand...

Women are so stupid. Marriage was made by men to help men ensure paternity. Why would women ever care if marriage was destroyed, they always know it's their baby they are pregnant with. Men in turn will become more and more disconnected from their children and any reason to participate in civil society. Basically what we have in America's ghettos will spread.

Families which sustain stable marriages across several generations have more wealth, more mentally stable children, less criminality, and overall are better able to deal with life problems.

Marriage & families are only outdated for people who don't give a sh!t about the future.

apparently they're all married to betas.

Click to expand...

And they're retarded.

lalahaha said:

Also it said that one of them married the guy because she was tired of jerks and he was good settle down material, uh-oh... And it brings up settling again when the author says many people do not marry out of love, they marry because its better than ending up lonely in their apartment with a cold dinner, and she's right. Also they bring up the topic of "working" on marriages and how it doesn't work. Which is in line with what many DJ veterans on this board have been saying: be choosy find a woman who fits you and you won't have to "work" on something that can't be fixed.

Click to expand...

These women ended up with beta men because they were beta (or gamma or omega, etc) women.

game.r said:

thirdly, the solution that she comes up with at the end may seem reasonable on the surface, but look closer and it just marginalizes men further. In fact it seems like glorified ****holdery, if thats a word.

Click to expand...

Yes, it is a word.

jophil28 said:

No wonder her marriage failed. Look how self centered the above quote is. It is all about how men need to fit in to satisfy her HER wants.

Click to expand...

This is probably why she ended up with a beta. No man of integrity, no man with a spine who also wants to have a family would ever put up with a selfish woman. These kinds of women who want alpha family-empire building men are toxic to the very men they desire.

I'm sure she met men who would have been the kind of man she says she wants, but I'm also sure that those men's bullsh!t detectors went off and they ran the other way from her.

jophil28 said:

IT has all changed in 30 years.

Click to expand...

Into a festering cesspool of dysfunctional humanity.

There are THREE "good" girls in your city. It is your mission to find them.

GO!

Excellent article analysis and 100% quality thread. You guys rock.

(my dearest childhood wish was not just that my parents would divorce, but also that my raging father would burst into flames)

Click to expand...

Well doesn't that put a nice little frame around the whole article.

ALternative Title: "or how I let my Daddy issues ruin my marriage"...

What the modern women conviently forget. That they were designed to be disposable. In the old days, if they were not tough enough, many died during childbirth - if not, they became old hags by their fourties. The man would then simply get a young wife because his wife had become barren and was no good any more. This still happens here in Africa (call us backwards?).

The answer is simple - just don't get married. Then if she gets bored of you, she can simply leave. When she is in her late fourties, believe me, any relationship is better than being alone.

I was married for 22 years and will never remarry. I simply don't need to.

Novaseeker voiced the MGTOW response to this article here:

http://novaseeker.blogspot.com/2009/06/women-debunking-marriage-too.html

... and also here:

http://novaseeker.blogspot.com/2009/06/nattering-continues.html

I'm brain farting. What's the "MGTOW response"?


And the comments in the above articles are dead on awesome commentary.

It seems that some of those women are complaining that their husbands don't touch them in years. I wonder how do those women LOOK ? Or it could be that their husbands have some kind of problem ? In my country, a marriage can be annuled if any of the parties does not "put out".

Nutz said:

I'm brain farting. What's the "MGTOW response"?

Click to expand...

Sorry I was using an insider acronym Nutz. MGTOW stands for Men Going Their Own Way. Novaseeker, the person running the blog in my link is one of the active writers in that group. He usually has interesting things to say about men's awareness issues.

I have such sadness from reading this article. This IS the female mentality, down to the last word. Missing the obvious and only seeing their own self interest. Women want to be adored and pampered not because they support their husband but because they are his wife. This is where the breakdown happens. The good thing is this mentality is easy to spot and women who think like this are placed in the fvck and chunk category.