StoneZA
Don Juan
Hey guys,
Some of you might remember from about 2 months ago when I posted a thread entitled "Advice needed on what to do next" where some of you guys really gave me good advice on what to do with the chick that I had in that thread.Well, she was so busy with her studies, that I eventually gave up on her and went on to greener pastures.
Well time has passed and I met a new girl (through a chat program on my cell) that we have access to here in South Africa. Now I know it isn't appropriate, but I'm not the club kinda guy, so please don't judge me on that on where and how to meet girls etc.
OK, now a quick breakdown of what has transpired so far. She came out of a terrible relationship where her previous bf cheated on her with another girl and now he resides overseas. Well we started chatting, and after about two weeks, I met her, and I really fell for her. She is really the sweetest girl I have ever met and she was really impressed by me as well. Before I met her, she said I must write her a loveletter and in this love letter I confessed my love for her etc.
Now I know some of you might think, WTF!?... writing a love letter before I even meet a random a chick that I don't know anything of. Well it was a very deep letter and it swept her off her feet. I really have a way with words and it paid off. She also wrote me a letter back in which she also said that she is interested, but isn't quite ready for a relationship just yet, but wants me to way a bit for her.
I did, but within a 1.5 weeks or so, we were a couple and we hit it off. She decided to give it a chance. I really went out of my way to make things special for her. Emailed her everyday,at least twice, we would chat every morning, afternoon and evening. Went to visit her quite often as well.
As you can see I'm speaking in the past tense, eventually it all came to an end. About 1.5 weeks ago, she became very quiet and said she was going through a rough time. She didn't elaborate too much on it, but I could tell something was wrong. We ended up making love about 9 days ago, was really special for the both of us.
The this past week Monday, she asked to see me, but I had a feeling things weren't going to turn out well. She decided that she wanted to break up with me, not because I did anything wrong per se, but her heart feels dead she says. I keep giving 100% and she only gives 50%, and she felt that we should rather end the relationship now before she breaks my heart further down the line. Her reason being, she still has pain of the previous relationship where her ex cheated on her, and if I'm not mistaken he also hit her as well when they were still together. She also comes out of a broken home, and her family doesn't really support her emotionally in any way whatsoever, plus living on her own, also gets to her. She said she needs some time to work things out.
It was a real emotional evening for the both of us, and I was heart broken till Wednesday. She feels really bad for breaking my heart, but I have forgiven her since Monday.
Now...
She and a friend went dancing Friday evening and I chatted to her yesterday evening. She said that, it doesn't matter how much she goes out with friends, dance till the sun comes up, she still feels lonely with regards to not having a bf/ someone special in her life, I told her the same thing that I feel lonely without having a gf... (probably a bit dumb to say that, but its the truth)
Where do I go from here ?
This afternoon I went to visit her a bit (was 6 days since I last seen her), and we had a really great time together. We chatted via the chat program on our cells a little while ago. I told her, that I miss her, and she says that she misses me as well. I was really tempted to kiss her this afternoon, but decided not to, to see how things panned out. We made a lot of jokes and stuff, and we didn't really chat about what happened last week monday.
Did she mention on purpose that she feels lonely for not having a bf, and wants me to make a move again ? I still have immense feelings for her, and I really don't want to give up hope on her. Some of you might say, I should move on, let her be... but I can't. Being just friends with her, is going to be a bit tough, but if she needs time, I'll give her what she asks.
Is there anything I can do to help her get over her insecurity with regards to opening her heart up towards me, because she thinks she won't be able to do it. If I can just convince her somehow, or influence her in a way. She can't carry this burden with her forever, someday she'll have to accept the fact that she needs to love someone again otherwise she is going to end up alone indefinetely.
Ok... if you guys have read this far, I appreciate it.. Looking at the DJ Bible, there might be a few things that I have done wrong according to it... but I prefer it rather to ask you guys here directly.
Please, I don't want any hostile answers again like in my previous thread, only if its something worthwhile that I can use in my situation. Some of you might think that I'm really a noob/tool for letting things turn out the way they did. Well this was my first real "mini"-relationship. I did learn alot, but not quite keen just to give up on the girl just yet.
Your thoughts and advice will be appreciated.
Thanks
Stone
Some of you might remember from about 2 months ago when I posted a thread entitled "Advice needed on what to do next" where some of you guys really gave me good advice on what to do with the chick that I had in that thread.Well, she was so busy with her studies, that I eventually gave up on her and went on to greener pastures.
Well time has passed and I met a new girl (through a chat program on my cell) that we have access to here in South Africa. Now I know it isn't appropriate, but I'm not the club kinda guy, so please don't judge me on that on where and how to meet girls etc.
OK, now a quick breakdown of what has transpired so far. She came out of a terrible relationship where her previous bf cheated on her with another girl and now he resides overseas. Well we started chatting, and after about two weeks, I met her, and I really fell for her. She is really the sweetest girl I have ever met and she was really impressed by me as well. Before I met her, she said I must write her a loveletter and in this love letter I confessed my love for her etc.
Now I know some of you might think, WTF!?... writing a love letter before I even meet a random a chick that I don't know anything of. Well it was a very deep letter and it swept her off her feet. I really have a way with words and it paid off. She also wrote me a letter back in which she also said that she is interested, but isn't quite ready for a relationship just yet, but wants me to way a bit for her.
I did, but within a 1.5 weeks or so, we were a couple and we hit it off. She decided to give it a chance. I really went out of my way to make things special for her. Emailed her everyday,at least twice, we would chat every morning, afternoon and evening. Went to visit her quite often as well.
As you can see I'm speaking in the past tense, eventually it all came to an end. About 1.5 weeks ago, she became very quiet and said she was going through a rough time. She didn't elaborate too much on it, but I could tell something was wrong. We ended up making love about 9 days ago, was really special for the both of us.
The this past week Monday, she asked to see me, but I had a feeling things weren't going to turn out well. She decided that she wanted to break up with me, not because I did anything wrong per se, but her heart feels dead she says. I keep giving 100% and she only gives 50%, and she felt that we should rather end the relationship now before she breaks my heart further down the line. Her reason being, she still has pain of the previous relationship where her ex cheated on her, and if I'm not mistaken he also hit her as well when they were still together. She also comes out of a broken home, and her family doesn't really support her emotionally in any way whatsoever, plus living on her own, also gets to her. She said she needs some time to work things out.
It was a real emotional evening for the both of us, and I was heart broken till Wednesday. She feels really bad for breaking my heart, but I have forgiven her since Monday.
Now...
She and a friend went dancing Friday evening and I chatted to her yesterday evening. She said that, it doesn't matter how much she goes out with friends, dance till the sun comes up, she still feels lonely with regards to not having a bf/ someone special in her life, I told her the same thing that I feel lonely without having a gf... (probably a bit dumb to say that, but its the truth)
Where do I go from here ?
This afternoon I went to visit her a bit (was 6 days since I last seen her), and we had a really great time together. We chatted via the chat program on our cells a little while ago. I told her, that I miss her, and she says that she misses me as well. I was really tempted to kiss her this afternoon, but decided not to, to see how things panned out. We made a lot of jokes and stuff, and we didn't really chat about what happened last week monday.
Did she mention on purpose that she feels lonely for not having a bf, and wants me to make a move again ? I still have immense feelings for her, and I really don't want to give up hope on her. Some of you might say, I should move on, let her be... but I can't. Being just friends with her, is going to be a bit tough, but if she needs time, I'll give her what she asks.
Is there anything I can do to help her get over her insecurity with regards to opening her heart up towards me, because she thinks she won't be able to do it. If I can just convince her somehow, or influence her in a way. She can't carry this burden with her forever, someday she'll have to accept the fact that she needs to love someone again otherwise she is going to end up alone indefinetely.
Ok... if you guys have read this far, I appreciate it.. Looking at the DJ Bible, there might be a few things that I have done wrong according to it... but I prefer it rather to ask you guys here directly.
Please, I don't want any hostile answers again like in my previous thread, only if its something worthwhile that I can use in my situation. Some of you might think that I'm really a noob/tool for letting things turn out the way they did. Well this was my first real "mini"-relationship. I did learn alot, but not quite keen just to give up on the girl just yet.
Your thoughts and advice will be appreciated.
Thanks
Stone
