My dying grandma will only eat Haagen-Daas

Bible_Belt · Apr 16, 2009

This is a long and sad story, but basically my 82 y/o grandmother is in a nursing home and just had a stroke. She is refusing food. The workers don't like her, with good reason, and now I suspect are not trying very hard to feed her. I have been to see her and fed her strawberry Haagen-Daas. She has been more hungry each time. The nursing home has pretty much told us that they are only going to make a nominal effort to feed her their crappy food. If she starves, then too bad.

It's obviously a sad story, but ultimately I have a nutrition question.

She will eat strawberry haagen-daas. I fed her a half-cup each time I have been there, and will bring a full cup next time. Here is the nutritional info:

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 1/2 cup (106.0 g)
Amount Per Serving
Calories
250
Calories from Fat
144
% Daily Value*
Total Fat
16.0g
25%
Saturated Fat
10.0g
50%
Cholesterol
95mg
32%
Sodium
65mg
3%
Total Carbohydrates
23.0g
8%
Dietary Fiber
1.0g
4%
Sugars
22.0g
Protein
4.0g
Vitamin A 10% • Vitamin C 10%
Calcium 15% • Iron 0%

My question is: what else does she need to live? I am going to start bring her water, too, because she can't take a drink on her own, either. Can an old lady live on ice cream alone? Is there something that I can mix with it that would help?

I understand that she will die soon, but she has no cancer or chronic illness, and it does not seem right to just let her starve. Haagen-Daas is all I have right now. Help me out with suggestions. Thanks.

Hughman · Apr 16, 2009

Dude, this sucks massive. Aren't there any watchdogs you can report the home to?

I'm entering the medical profession, so I can give you some rough advise. Ice-cream alone won't keep her alive, at least the quantities she's eating. Increase it as much as possible. Build-up drinks that cancer patients have might help, as they go down quite easily, and they've got like 500 kcal per carton. Make sure when you give her a drink you try to give her a multi-vitamin tablet.

There isn't much else you can do without the support of the care home.

I-tallionStallion · Apr 16, 2009

Holy crap man...will she drink shakes? could always make her some sort of nutritional shake with whey protein, fruits, with vitamin mineral addin powders like they have at trueprotein.com or at your local healthstore I believe.

You can even put the ice cream in too! Some kind of strawberry whey from Trueprotein.com...the best tasting whey I got from there. The strawberry varieties are excellent. You can throw eggs with the Haagen

Has she seen a doctor? Maybe they can give advice better than us meatheads

Bible_Belt · Apr 16, 2009

Aren't there any watchdogs you can report the home to?

I called the state, who referred me to the "ombudsman," who was a very nice lady, but she said that starvation was not necessarily abuse. I am trying to get in to meet with her doctor or head nurse.

I will try to get her to tell me a food she will eat besides ice cream. But the healthier something is, the less likely she is to eat it. She's probably 80 pounds and could use all the food she could put away.

Hughman · Apr 16, 2009

Bible_Belt said:
Aren't there any watchdogs you can report the home to?

I called the state, who referred me to the "ombudsman," who was a very nice lady, but she said that starvation was not necessarily abuse. I am trying to get in to meet with her doctor or head nurse.

I will try to get her to tell me a food she will eat besides ice cream. But the healthier something is, the less likely she is to eat it. She's probably 80 pounds and could use all the food she could put away.

If you want to keep her alive, anything high in fat will do the trick. I imagine if she is a little and frail she's going to need about 1500 kcal. Cream will work nicely, see if you can get her to drink an ice-cream milkshake (and slowly introduce whey/nutrient powders to it.) Kendle mint cake (the stuff backpackers eat) she might find edible. It's quite soft and again packs a nutritional punch.

Bible_Belt · Apr 16, 2009

Thanks.

I was searching through the grocery store, trying to find something to feed her with the Haagen-Daas. The store did not have cold Ensure or nutritional drinks. I got her a Yoplait smoothie to have with her Haagen-Daas. She put away both the smoothie and the ice cream.

This is the info for the smoothie:
Serving Size 1 container (236.0 g)
Amount Per Serving
Calories 190
Calories from Fat 23
% Daily Value*
Total Fat
2.5g 4%
Saturated Fat
1.5g 8%
Cholesterol
10mg 3%
Sodium
150mg 6%
Total Carbohydrates
38.0g 13%
Dietary Fiber
3.0g 12%
Sugars
31.0g
Protein
6.0g
Vitamin A 15% • Vitamin C 0%
Calcium 20% • Iron 0%

I guess I need to make her something, or find a product that a fast-food place would sell. There is a Steak n Shake and a Sonic in town; I know they sell high-fat milkshakes. I might try that next time.

Bible_Belt · Apr 17, 2009

Hughman said:
If you want to keep her alive, anything high in fat will do the trick....Cream will work nicely, see if you can get her to drink an ice-cream milkshake (and slowly introduce whey/nutrient powders to it.)

Thanks. Today's choice was a regular strawberry shake from Steak n Shake. 709 calories and 22g of fat: http://www.steaknshake.com/nutritional_info/index.asp?p=4&t=4

She was actually doing better and told me she ate steak and potato for lunch; she still finished the entire shake though.

Maybe I will look for body builder weight gainer in a strawberry flavor and make a shake myself next time.

Hughman · Apr 17, 2009

Bible_Belt said:
Thanks. Today's choice was a regular strawberry shake from Steak n Shake. 709 calories and 22g of fat: http://www.steaknshake.com/nutritional_info/index.asp?p=4&t=4

She was actually doing better and told me she ate steak and potato for lunch; she still finished the entire shake though.

Maybe I will look for body builder weight gainer in a strawberry flavor and make a shake myself next time.

Excellent. Glad to hear there's some progress being made.
If you/her doctor think she may actually have a few more years ahead of her, do try to cut back on the fats after she looks like she's as healthy as she's going to get.

spax · Apr 20, 2009

You could put tea-spoons of sugar in with water before you give it to her. Or even give her some vitamin water.

Perhaps take her a box of chocolates or some other small candies?

Throttle · Apr 21, 2009

cut back on the fats when she gets better? cuz she'll have a heart attack? cuz fat causes heart attacks, right? the lipid hypothesis will never die.....

BB, you're doing great. Strokes often kill appetite for a while, and it sounds like she's getting it back slowly, which is the norm. You've intervened appropriately in the meantime.

I would vote against protein shakes btw, as they're a shock to anyone's system, even a young guy in his prime. or haven't you seen the endless complaints when someone starts slamming the whey?

stick to whatever she'll scarf down, pay no attention to the macros, just the calories. obviously she'll need vitamins & minerals eventually, but she's going to HAVE to want to eat them (I speak from the experience of living in the same house as a 90+ year old woman for a year, who is alas also currently recovering from a stroke at the moment.)

j0n024 · Apr 21, 2009

Bible_Belt said:
Aren't there any watchdogs you can report the home to?

I called the state, who referred me to the "ombudsman," who was a very nice lady, but she said that starvation was not necessarily abuse. I am trying to get in to meet with her doctor or head nurse.

I will try to get her to tell me a food she will eat besides ice cream. But the healthier something is, the less likely she is to eat it. She's probably 80 pounds and could use all the food she could put away.

Wow are you serious, starving an old women that cant take care of herself ISNT abuse but if you do that to an animal...you go to jail.....another example of this fvked up world we live in with some sh1tty ass laws that are suppose to "Protect," Us.

Plus shakes are bad? How come.....I've never heard that before throttle. I've HEARD about the sh1ts when you take TOO much protein but still not that bad.

What I would do is get her on some fruit drinks as well, pomogranate juice is good, I agree with whey shakes as well....maybe milk protein so she can get bigger.

What you should do is get some of those MRE's that red cross and the army use...I have some from the hurricane and I saw the nutrional value....

Spaghetti w/mean and sauce kit

Serving size 1
Calories-1310
from fat -470
Total fat-52g
chol-30mg
sodium-1320mg
carbs-181mg
protein-33g

Look at that shi1t!!!! And it's a small fvcking thing! You get her some of those and she will be FUUUUL.

Scuba · Apr 21, 2009

It's a very sad situation. I imagine the staff does make an effort to feed her but she refuses. They CAN NOT force her to eat or be overly aggressive about it because that is abuse also.

Does she have a power of attorney? Who is her POA? She probably needs one. Talk to her about it and talk to a lawyer.

Talk to her and her Doctor about it and possibly get a PEG tube to maintain nutrition.

If this nursing home is really as bad as you think it is, MOVE HER. She has rights and she does not have to stay there. If you're in a small town look in maybe a 50 mile radius or something and visit the other homes. Maybe you have to put her farther away and you can only drive it 3x a week instead of everyday... that's still ok because she is in a better place.

Also what kind of diet is she on? Are they trying to give her solids when she should be on puree?

Scuba · Apr 21, 2009

Also has she seen a speech therapist? She my just not be eating much because of difficulty swallowing. A ST could probably teach her pretty fast.

Throttle · Apr 21, 2009

j0n024 said:
Plus shakes are bad? How come.....I've never heard that before throttle. I've HEARD about the sh1ts when you take TOO much protein but still not that bad.

anything new is a shock to the system. i'm pretty sure she's never had straight whey, and the last thing she needs is loose bowels.

personally, i've given up on whey and gone back to eggs. whey, even isolate, seems to inspire lactose intolerance in me. i hadn't mentioned this here b/c i don't want to discourage the many guys for whom whey shakes seem to work. but this fits with my motto of eating real food and avoiding to the greatest extent possible fractionated anything (mono/diglycerides, corn _______, soy ________, and anything a 10 year old can't pronounce).

stopped the whey, now i can drink whole milk again. or skim, if i could tolerate such nastiness. i missed whole milk.

j0n024 · Apr 21, 2009

....I've noticed that LOTS of people have problems with milk nowadays...

I started noticing when I got into weight training and see the forums at TP, and then just now YOU said it as well..

Lots of people are becoming intolerant to milk or at least not able to withstand it....that's weird.

OT: You could always water it down.

BudBundi · Apr 22, 2009

I personally am horribly lactose intolerant. I can't take any whey stuff or even ice cream. Though raw milk never gives me any problems whatsoever. Thankfully I live near a farm.

Kerpal · Apr 22, 2009

I wish I could get raw milk for a reasonable price. The only place around here I've been able to find wants $15 a gallon.

Zaraza · Apr 24, 2009

Try to get her to eat fruits as well. Strawberries, blueberries, bananas. If you can just buy them, and then stick them in a blender alongside the ensure. Can you grandma chew or is she in a state where its difficult to process normal sized foods?

Feeding your grandma only icecream isnt beneficial to her health. But. it is better than her not eating at all. what is her health condition right now?

She has just had a stroke, is she paralyzed at all? is she just recovering? give some more info, hopefully i can come up with some ideas.

Zaraza · Apr 24, 2009

Its also difficult to say. At her old age, make sure that she has potassium. And she gets a good amount of it. Potassium helps to regulate the heart beat. If your potassium intake is inadequate you will have problems with your heart beating rhythem. could skip beats, or stop.

Akuma · Apr 24, 2009

I'd get her something like this:
Centrum Select (multivitamin for old people). It's also chewable and tastes like candy.
http://www.centrumvitamins.ca/conte...Chewables.asp?section=adult&product=chewables

As for the shake, I'd suggest BSN Syntha 6 - Strawberry.
It's a little on the expensive side, but it tastes absolutely FANTASTIC when mixed with milk. You could also add a banana for potassium.

My dying grandma will only eat Haagen-Daas

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