Girlfriend broke up with me out of nowhere but still contacts everyday

cocaine_emotion · Mar 16, 2009

Ive been seeing this great chick for a little over a year now.

She almost always initiated contact and always made the extra mile to be with me, especially since i was often busy or had other plans

i knew she liked the chase, sometimes she complained i dint reciprocate the love back

good sex, nice girl, got along great etc.

then out of nowhere last week...she says she needs some space

she has a sufficient amount of family problems i wont go into detail with, one being her dad is moving to Australia and leaving their family and i have known about this for month

...yea i know doesnt really make much sense for dumping me.

i told her to just tell me if she wants to see other people or just fuk around being single and i prefer honestly to sugar coated bull****. she swears theres nothing else going on

im not naive or dumb, i know very well there could b another guy shes interested in however in the entire year, there has literally been nothing suspicious about any of her behavior and i cant say shes been anything but honest

anyway i told her its cool but she better think long and hard since theres no guarntee ill be around when shes done needing space. she cried and tried to make me promise wed eventually get back together but i said no guarntees

anyway since this "break up" shes been calling me everyday, iniciating sex, wanting to hang out, etc all which ive said no to

i saw her today since she saw me at the mall i played it cool and acted normal and wen i sed bye she grabbed me made out with me and put her hand on my crotch, i dint pull away (probably a mistake)

anyway wtf is going on here? i havent iniciated contact with her once and shes begging to spend time with me, but still stands by the break

id like to have her in the end since shes a great girl whom i know for a fact has genuine problems, but im not willing to easily take her back since calling it quits was her descion

im thinking of moving on and if she comes around later denying her. if she works hard enough maybe ill slowly resume how things were

opinions?

TheDoctor · Mar 16, 2009

There are others on this forum that can answer better than I but, maybe she didn't like the ease of which you said ok about the break-up. You didn't grovel or beg, cry or get upset. She is walking away unsure if she is the victor or not. She wants you to show her that you want and need her so she can walk away validated.

cocaine_emotion · Mar 16, 2009

i wouldnt even care to get "back" with her

its just with the constant calls for sex, pics she texts me of her in her new panties, and her making out with me all within a week of this "break up"

it doesnt sound like a break up at all

sounds like bull****

regardless im not gonna let her back in that easily

or should i not at all? honestly the good with her outweighs the bad and am wondering if down the road a second chance with this chick should ever be an option

cocaine_emotion · Mar 16, 2009

TheDoctor said:
There are others on this forum that can answer better than I but, maybe she didn't like the ease of which you said ok about the break-up. You didn't grovel or beg, cry or get upset. She is walking away unsure if she is the victor or not. She wants you to show her that you want and need her so she can walk away validated.

i left this out

i told her im cool with it but said i knew she has some serious **** in her life and id like to work it out without the "needing space bull****"

she stuck to it, and i said cool and never contacted her again

and yea im getting bombarded with sex requests and naked pics of her

**** makes no sense

jdjd · Mar 16, 2009

why not do her first and try not to get attached...

i know..its hard right?

cocaine_emotion · Mar 16, 2009

jdjd said:
why not do her first and try not to get attached...

i know..its hard right?

amen....theres always a chick or two that falls thru the cracks and gets the extra attention

im conflicted... cuz this bs sounds like a game not a real break up. shes been nothing but fun but i dont want her to think she can snap her fingers and ill be back like a pvssy

id rather lose her completely

KontrollerX · Mar 16, 2009

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126471

There you go.

In addition to what joekerr's brilliant post lays out for you what I have to say is why she is trying to win you back so hard is because her ego cannot stand that you are cool with the break and are moving on.

She wants you obsessed with her and in that way she preserves her ego and gets to end it on her terms where she can go ride other guy's c0cks and theoretically still have you in the background pining away for her incase she wants to get with you again in the future for whatever reason and also this will give her an ego boost.

You not reacting like a snivelling AFC that wants her back and will do anything to get her back has thrown a wrench in her plans.

So thats what all this being all over you stuff is about.

Or...

She really could be fvcked up in the head over her old man moving to Australia and she may actually need some alone time to think but still even the most genuinely mentally confused chick around doesn't request a breakup with a guy she is really head over heels madly in love with to get her head on straight. A girl genuinely mentally confused might request space but assure you that you and she are still boyfriend and girlfriend but yeah this is a very dicey individual judgement call and you really need to let your gut instinct and the facts speak for themselves before you act.

cocaine_emotion · Mar 16, 2009

yea i think im gonna have to let it play out a bit....a bit more time will show what may be truly going on

till then no contact

cocaine_emotion · Mar 16, 2009

and if she is lying.... a girl who plays upon a problem that is actually happening (her dad leaving) to see another guy is truly a peice of sh!t

Rhoto · Mar 16, 2009

cocaine_emotion said:
yea i think im gonna have to let it play out a bit....a bit more time will show what may be truly going on

till then no contact

Advice that was given to me - "Play it cool - forever"

Its over man. She shouldn't exist any more in your reality.

The post I'm referencing in Verbatim-

Mr. Me said:
You shouldn't just "play it cool" for the weekend.
Play it cool forever. Here's the deal: To be forgiven her trespass against you, she has to

1. call and apologize.

And by "apologize" I don't mean "I'm sorry, but you made me angry/I had PMS/I had to see if I mean anything to you or not." That's not an apology. An apology admits responsibility: "I'm really sorry. That was wrong of me to do".

2. Act of Contrition

It's not enough for her to apologize, because then she can crap on you and know that all she has to do is later say, "I'm sorry" and all will be forgiven. No! She has to DO something, like volunteer to take you out to dinner or wash your car or something significant that shows effort. Costs her something. AND she has to volunteer it, you can't tell her she has to do it. It has to come from her. Only then can we consider her apology to be sincere.

Never bend over.

cocaine_emotion · Mar 16, 2009

Rhoto said:
Advice that was given to me - "Play it cool - forever"

Its over man. She shouldn't exist any more in your reality.

The post I'm referencing in Verbatim-

Never bend over.

its funny cuz she sed we should go to dinner sometime this week on her and i said no lol

ZhaoYun · Mar 16, 2009

You two are still cool with each other right? Why not just bang her and take it easy. This benefits both of you. No strings attached sex while you can start to better your game with other women. Seems like a winning situation to me unless you're not experienced enough to handle it.

DonGorgon · Mar 17, 2009

she was cheating and let you go to be with him/them..

Raikojo17 · Mar 18, 2009

Why do you automatically jump to the conclusion that she wants some other guy?

sounds like a bit of a security issue to me.

maybe she legitimately needs space do deal with her probs, but doesn't want you to just up and leave, so she does all this to keep you from being all pimpish and leaving. she still trying to please YOU, even though she has all this crap going on in her life. cut her some slack man

the most simple answer is usually the right one

use your head alittle bit and try to understand her. she's a great girl you say, so why don't you treat her as one?

Raikojo17 · Mar 18, 2009

KontrollerX said:
http://www.sosuave.net/forumwants h...ike she likes him to me. begged him infact

cocaine_emotion · Mar 18, 2009

DonGorgon said:
she was cheating and let you go to be with him/them..

im not one to doubt possibilities but based on what i told u why do u say this>

that was my original thought

but then i look at the facts

i looked back on the fact that ive never caught her lying (unless shes some evil master scheme aritst)

im good friends and use to date an acquaintance of hers who learns all the girl gossip and informed me shes heard 0 of her potentially being with someone else

friends of mine who have been in LTRs and have been cheated on have informed me she exhibits no sketchy signs that shes cheated

once again, im not blind to the possiblity ther may be another guy

but at the same time the chick has always been around without any persistence on my part and hasnt ever lied to me i dunno if i should give her the benefit of the doubt

DonGorgon · Mar 18, 2009

Raikojo17 said:
Why do you automatically jump to the conclusion that she wants some other guy?

cause she is human..

WhtRbt · Mar 18, 2009

DonGorgon said:
cause she is woman..

:yes:

KontrollerX · Mar 18, 2009

"she asked him to eventually get back together. sounds like she likes him to me.

begged him infact"

Yeah...

Thats known not as actual desire but rather the reaction to having a shot to the ego that chicks typically are not used to receiving since chicks are most often accustomed to legions of AFC's vying for their time and also they are used to AFC boyfriends whom when they try and break up with beg for them to stay and not leave them the behavior of which gives them an automatic and in their entitled minds expected ego boost.

In other words the original poster denied his girl of this post breakup ego boost by not begging her to stay with him and the shot at the ego is so devastating that is the only reason she desires him back so powerfully.

She most likely does not desire him back for genuine love though that is probably what she and most women misinterpret the shot to the ego feeling as being.

Girls genuinely and madly in love with a guy do not break up with them when going through a bad time rather in a bad time they want the guy they love to be closer to them or to give them some alone time but they make sure to let the guy know that they are still together while she grieves or does whatever is necessary to get her mind together in her time alone before re-uniting with the boyfriend.

Anyway as backbreaker is often fond of saying to the young or the new posters you sir need to read more and post less.

ZhaoYun · Mar 18, 2009

unless you have other women you can get sex from keep her on as a F buddy. Unless you like beating your meat on the daily.

Girlfriend broke up with me out of nowhere but still contacts everyday

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