Protect That Heart

You only get one heart.

One to a customer. But you keep treating your heart like an enemy instead of a friend.

Would you let a friend get hurt time and time again without protecting your friend?

I think not.

So why do you keep leaving yourself wide open and leave your heart to take all the blows?

It's sad that we spend years and years doing this to ourselves.

Love is not like a courtroom.
Women are all guilty of NON-interest until they PROVE it to you by showing CONSISTANTLY good behavior.

Otherwise you do not connect.

No excuses, no cancellations, no run-arounds, no 'I'm not ready for a relationship' NO 'give me time'.

Love the way you want it or they must be weeded out.

Love the way YOU want it. Sounds great huh? Get used to it Don Juan.

Grow a backbone TODAY. It's NO to bringing a friend along on the date. It's NO to rude behavior. It's NO to "I have to check my schedule". It's NO to "give me your number".

You lead, they must follow. For a few months. Then you can get 'mutual' if you choose. That's "IF" you choose.

Protect the only part of your body that loves you:

YOUR HEART.

Thanks for listening.

AD

Funny you should make a post like this today, AD. I was thinking of posting a personal testimonial and what you've stated relates to that. Synchronicity everywhere I look, some days.

A while back I posted about my fiancee breaking our engagement. That was four months ago - we're talking now, trying to be 'friends.' That may make some of you pissed at me, but she's the first girl I had sex with and it is important to me that I keep on good terms with her. 'Nuff said. But besides that I'm getting decent feedback now on what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong, from someone who knew me very well (probably too well). That, in itself, is very valuable.

What she has told me is that, in the beginning of our relationship, she wasn't sure if I even wanted a girlfriend. She said I seemed cold - which could be interpreted as seeming distant or mysterious in some ways. At that time in my life I was doing karate, doing great in school, doing very will in dealing with some personal issues, and I guess I radiated confidence. As time went on in our relationship I became less secure and less confident. In the end she broke my heart. She ****ed up, but I also allowed myself to be hurt. I wasn't protective enough of my heart.

We were close throughout most of our relationship, except at the end of course. All along we had sex. But you know what? In the beginning, when she thought I was somewhat cold and didn't want a girlfriend, we had sex A LOT. We talked and shared of course, and that felt good, but we had sex A LOT. I got backrubs A LOT. She was a LOT warmer to me in the beginning when she thought she had to work to keep me. I got more of what I wanted when she wasn't sure if I was interested or not. When she found out she had me no matter what, that seems to be about the time that things went downhill.

Now that I'm talking with her again, and hearing what she was feeling and thinking throughout the course of our relationship (she held back quite a bit), I'm realizing that a surprising amount of what I read here about women is true. It doesn't matter how special she is or how much she loves you - she's still a woman, and women have to have certain things in a man to remain interested in them.

So I guess the moral of the story is this: Be confident. Be satisfied with yourself. Be patient, wait for what you want. Be independent, not desperate. Keep improving yourself, keep growing, keep broadening your horizons, keep trying new things, so that you've always got something exciting about you to be mysterious about. Do not implicitly trust anyone - trust is earned and not given. RESPECT women, but do not allow YOURSELF to be disrespected either. Either call people (women AND men) on their bullsh|t, or get them out of your life and laugh as you walk away. You should probably do both. If someone hurts you, milk it for the lessons and move on as best you can. If you have to grieve, then do so, but don't wallow in it.

If I had kept all this in mind and applied it, I would be where I'd like to be right now. For me (your average 'nice guy') actually applying some of what I've read on these boards is contradictory to years of conditioning by the USA's culture and my own incorrect views of what women want.

Somebody smack me upside the head if I'm wrong (and I mean that in a verbal sense), but it seems to me that you've GOT to keep IL up at all times in dating and relationships. But! 95% of us men go about it the wrong way and 4% of us men do it the right way but don't even realize they're doing the right thing. I'm starting to think the most important way to maintain a woman's IL is by improving yourself and respecting yourself FIRST.

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I prefer salmon over catfish. But if a fish jumps out of the water into my boat, I'm going to whack it with my oar...

Good post AD. I'm printing this and adding it to my my Don Juan folder so I can go over it every single day to remind me.



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"Women. They've got half the money in the world and all the pu$$y."

relapse,

As soon as she realized you really loved her, her mission was over.

Women are love seekers. As long as they are looking for love in you they will hang in there. But as soon as they find it, they are off with another dude to start the process over again.

They must never be really sure as you found out. Say "I love you" very rarely in the future.

AD

Originally posted by terminator911:
Good post AD. I'm printing this and adding it to my my Don Juan folder so I can go over it every single day to remind me.

Click to expand...

Thanks Terminator. But make it once a month. Take care.

AD

The advice doesn't get any better than this. Take notes fellas.

Poignant

Excellent post relapse...sounds like you really have a good perspective on the DJ thing & how women think now. Remember this, "My honor is loyalty" be loyal to yourself 1st, in that you have honor, let those women earn your loyalty the hard way & never give them the whole cake, only a slice at a time & some days none at all. They will always be back for more. Poet

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Action is all....words don't mean ****.

Trust your instincts & nothing else.

I usally pick a post apart. But this is one of few that I don't have to. I agree, guys women aren't the only one's who feel pain, you are always #1. Protect your heart and self.

~TheBlackStar

I agree, BUT if you have a strong bullet proof heart, then you can open your heart to a female & not care about the result's. Not caring about anything that's going on in her life because you are too focused on yourself & your good life. And you know you got it going on. And can find any girl anytime. So fukk her, & move on to the next.

"..takes pratice.."

Originally posted by Anti-Dump:


Love is not like a courtroom.
Women are all guilty of NON-interest until they PROVE it to you by showing CONSISTANTLY good behavior.

Otherwise you do not connect.

No excuses, no cancellations, no run-arounds, no 'I'm not ready for a relationship' NO 'give me time'.

Click to expand...

good advice Anti-Dump.
In the past I have let my physical attraction to a girl rule over my head and what I really knew to be true. That the chick wasn't particulary interested. You got to watch her behaviour and ask yourself "is she really interested?" and be honest with yourself. And don't care if she's not. Her loss. Move on.

bump

Classic!

Originally posted by Anti-Dump
Love is not like a courtroom.
Women are all guilty of NON-interest until they PROVE it to you by showing CONSISTANTLY good behavior.

Click to expand...

All this about testing a woman's interest is fine but when does AD ever get to the part where he explains what the hell is supposed to cause her to be so interested in you in the first place?

There is a reason newbies liked Anti-Dump so much, he's one of them. He was perpetually stuck in the newbie mindset of viewing women as a bunch of hopelessly fvcked up b1tches so he'd feel better about all the times he got shot down.

It's too bad some guys get stuck in that mindset like Anti-Dump did because I like to think that for most of the guys on this board it's a transitional point which they will eventually go beyond.

-PDX

ad was doc love

sex pdx- remember asking why Doc Love does not post here or on ss or asf? because he USED TO POST HERE AS ANTI-DUMP.

Re: ad was doc love

Originally posted by JUST ME
sex pdx- remember asking why Doc Love does not post here or on ss or asf? because he USED TO POST HERE AS ANTI-DUMP.

Click to expand...

It's been suspected, but it's never been confirmed. If indeed it is true, it's rather cowardly of him to stay anonymous. And whether or not Anti-Dump is Doc Love what I said about Anti-Dump above I still believe.

-PDX

Re: Re: Protect That Heart

Originally posted by SexPDX
All this about testing a woman's interest is fine but when does AD ever get to the part where he explains what the hell is supposed to cause her to be so interested in you in the first place?

Click to expand...

Anti-Dump believed that a woman must already be interested in you for anything to work, he didn't believe in seduction. If you disagree with him that's fine, but this is just what he preached and it's all one really needs in order to succeed with women. Seduction techniques are fine, but AD just wanted to let everyone know that you can succeed with women without it.

There is a reason newbies liked Anti-Dump so much, he's one of them.



newbies liked anti-dump so much because his advice was mostly geared toward newbies, so of course his posts will be worthless to you

He was perpetually stuck in the newbie mindset of viewing women as a bunch of hopelessly fvcked up b1tches so he'd feel better about all the times he got shot down.



From what I remember, Just about everything that AD preached about women has been the total opposite of that

Amen PDX.

Re: Re: Re: Protect That Heart

Originally posted by Sex Ninja
Anti-Dump believed that a woman must already be interested in you for anything to work

Click to expand...

The implication here is that there is nothing you can do to increase the probability of a woman being attracted to you. In my humble opinion that is the most AFC attitude there is.

-PDX

Re: Re: ad was doc love

Originally posted by SexPDX
It's been suspected, but it's never been confirmed. If indeed it is true, it's rather cowardly of him to stay anonymous. And whether or not Anti-Dump is Doc Love what I said about Anti-Dump above I still believe.

-PDX

Click to expand...

He may have stayed anonymous so he didn't get 'abused' by posters. I'm sure he didn't want to give out his 'system' day to day in posts instead of people buying his system.