Is She Sneaking?

my LTR
good chic, treats me good, i havent had any reason not to trust her..but then this happens.

background,
she is friends with this one dude that she kissed once 4 yrs ago.
im safe with it coz i got chics that i boned many times and they still wanna bone.


yday i notice on her fb yday, he left a msg,
"how come we dont have convos at 2am anymore?"

so i asked her, not threatening like DONT TALK TO HIM, but what she is going to do about it. as in is she going to start calling him at 2am again?
she said no.
but she got mad that i asked, got defensive and came across as me not trusting her.

anyway, i dont have this guy as a friend on my fb and so i dont know what she posts on his page, and i dont care.
anyway i log on and i see an email from a mutual friend (of his and mine).
and the friend attached the msg my girl wrote to him(i didnt ask for this, the girl that sent me the msg says she thought i should know,..)
My girl wrote a message to him
something about, "Our 2am convo's were the BEST, until you turned into a grandpa. you SNOB. and she attached a heart"

now ok, thats fine. but! here is the thing
She removed that from her update list (where it says xxx wrote a comment on yyy)
but she left the other comments she wrote.

Im at a stage where id ont give a sh!t i can drop kick her out my life and fill the spot with more than one p*55y.
but i dont know if this is something i should call her out on.

what do ya'll think?
does this warrant a call out? should i suspect? shall i dump?

I think no one should take you seriously until you start typing like an adult.

Ok you are gonna tell her how you are spying on her and tracking her every move on facebook???? That is a turn-off. Do yourself a favor, get off facebook it is like watching tv 4-5 hrs a night a complete waste of time. Start reading, and finding new girls. DO not call her out on this just be distant, call her when you want to have sex etc and be MIA. If she ask you what is wrong you can tell her if you like.

THis Idea of calling women on there **** seems logical but what does it accomplish. If she is cheating on your she will lie about it. The feeling you have that she is cheating and look at other options is reason enough to bail all of your emotions, money etc and keep it strictly physical. If My lady was writing on some dudes wall I miss chatting with you at 2am Heart etc I would take it as time for me to LEAVE...

You know what you got to do,

anyone else with insight? or advice?

What do you mean is she sneaking. Didn't you answer that question for us already? PM me your facebook I will add you with this fake profile I made last year (hey we all have our moments hehe) and talk some very inconspicous but believable shit on your wall. Lord knows where I find the time for stuff like this..but sometimes a little facade will help you regain control over your frame when it starts to slip. Sounds like you are dealing with a child. She wants the candy give it to her. Some people need to get kicked in the nuts before they stop kicking others in the nuts.

This is where you turn AFC (get mad or get sad like a woman would) or be a man and withdraw your emotions but with a confident and ****y smile. After all you don't give a fuck right? You're the man and you can find a better woman any day (just don't ever say those words, instead play the part with a cool confident smile).

Get attention very inconspicously from other chics now and adjust your attitude accordingly and you will be fine. Any other way you slice it and you're done with this girl.

If you do what I say: when she starts asking why you are acting funny just tell her you felt like she needed some space so you are giving it to her. She will latch right back like a fucking toddler to its bottle (your dick).

Good luck and I'll be keeping an eye out for your PM.

you wouldnt have these sorts of issues if you simply didn't have a girlfriend, and kept all interactions with your women at a f-buddy level (in your eyes, not in theirs)

something about, "Our 2am convo's were the BEST, until you turned into a grandpa. you SNOB. and she attached a heart"

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I would think the correct answer to an ex asking, "how come we dont have convos at 2am anymore?" would be, "Because! I'm crazy in love with slickaz, silly! And I hope one day you find someone that makes you as happy too. Take care and have a great life!"

She removed that from her update list

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Because she now knows you're onto her FB comments and this is one she didn't want you to see. It's a comment to actually encourage the ex, rather then discourage him, don't you think? I do. And she KNOWS it wouldn't be good for you to see, so she takes it off. What does that tell you?

russell said:

hahaha the OP is a joke.

"im safe with it coz i got chics that i boned many times and they still wanna bone."

you're such a liar. if you actually had enough game and confidence to have these things then you wouldn't have little pvssy fits over her messaging some lame dude.

she's messaging that dude because you're a b|tch and she's not into you any more.

time to get out of this relationship, because this is the beginning of the end, and the next step is to get your balls back.

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Ouch that's a wee but harsh on the fella don't you think?

OP you are entering the Twlight Zone - passiveness, enabling, AFC-ism.. so tread lightly and take the advice here seriously.

She's messaging the other guy because she perhaps needs a healthy Donkey Punch. That's a wee bit harsh too I suppose, and I don't recommend it unless you have doctor on hand. The clenching of the sphincter was supposedly discredited in laboratory testing. Bottom line is this girl needs to learn her lesson.

You have the tools, so use them to regain the power/control over yourself in the relationshit or face certain doom. Either way it will be a lesson learned so good luck!

I think you're overreacting. This chick was a virgin until what, two months ago? Unless they are hanging out at two in the morning, you're safe. You've been turning into Mr. Possessive on her lately. Watch out for that. It's a self fulfilling prophesy. Dont lose a good girl, because you cant keep your paranoia in check. I wouldnt like that very much either, but I realize you cant shut a girl off from her friends or ex's completely. Unless they are hanging out in person, dont worry. Even if they were, I still wouldnt worry. They kissed four years ago. BFD. I wouldnt even consider that an ex. They used to chat late night before you came into the picture, and he was asking why it stopped. There's no crime there. Dont sweat it, dude, or you will turn her off, and drive her to it.

Obviously she stopped talking to him, or he wouldnt have posted that, so you're golden.

Calling a woman out is pointless, it only serves to piss her off and stroke your own ego.

All you can do is verify her behavior, then YOU must determine if that behavior is acceptable or not, and act accordingly.

If you'd let her known early in the relationship, through your actions, that you will walk without a second thought or any judgment whatsoever, if her behavior didn't fit with your criteria, you'd be in a much better position.

Personally, I'd focus on other girls and put this one on the back burner to see if she "self corrects." otherwise cut her loose.

so anyway i laid the law down.

i let this one slide, because ive put her on the backburner,
i was supposed to see her last night, but instead i cancelled, and went to watch The Watchmen with another plate that i put on the backburner a while back (Watchmen SUCKED!!! but the date was amazing)

ive ignored her today, while she's been hitting me up with all the lovey dovey texts and fb msgs.

anyway the reason i did that is because yesterday she rung me and started to complain about how i should understand that she has more guy friends because girls and her dont get along, coz they all b!shes. and guys have less BS, but she has cut her contact with most of them because she knows i wouldnt like it.
so i said cool no probs. does that mean im supposed to cut contact with my friends that are females too?
she got possessive like yeh you better! coz if i catch you out you're gonna get such an a55 whoopin from me.
ME: so now whose being possesive?
Her: I am! n u better know im worse than you..
Me: So then how can you say that im so bad?!
Her: Because I feel like anything from another guy is a bomb ready to go off with you and im scared..
Me: Firstly, ive never argued or fought with you about another guy or a friend in you're life, infact ive encouraged you to keep in touch with all your friends because i too want to have the comfort of my old friends..and 2, if you feel so strongly about this, you dont have to stay, you are free to walk leave..
Her: Dont say that! plz! i love you and i didnt mean to say anything wrong, i just got mad coz i feel like you are mad at ME! because my guy friend hit me up.
Me: Im not MAD, i just ASKED you what you're going to do about it, as in are you going to call him, you assumed i had the wrong intentions..so you shouldnt assume..you should ask.

and then i changed the topic, spoke for a further 2 mins, ended with a laugh and said bye.

havent called her since except the time to cancel our date that night, she sounded upset about, but inquisitive as to what i was doing, i said i just have stuff to do outside of home....she's been texting me..

i dunno..

Horaholic: You're right i think maybe lately i have been coming across as slightly AFC or too possesive so im going to ease up and let it go, and just not show her as much interest right now then have her chase me around a lil more.
im seeing her in 2 days, so ill update you on it.

Hey WC2,
Excellent advice,
can you give me some examples of what you mean by you stopped being so sentimental towards her?

Also what do you mean by letting her know that you dont need her thorugh actions?
just an example would be great, thanks.

I do understand that woman are branch swingers and if they feel they are with a not so manly guy, they will bounce to the next idiot who looks like it but is not really.
I assume that by
giving her less attention
being less emotional
not being as vocally lovey dovey but more physically lovey dovey
not contacting too much
but being there for her when she needs and making sure she knows i still feel the same way but have my own life and am independant?

right...so i feel like a complete bloqhead.
I found out something important today from a very reliable source..

The guy does not wanna talk to her because all she ever talks about is how much she loves me, how good i treat her and how she wants to be with me forever..
so they just dont talk anymore because they used to when me n her started dating and he didnt like constantly hearing about me.
anyway she stopped calling him since she was talking to me and her girls more.

i feel like an idiot. and that i shouldve trusted her..

I found out something important today from a very reliable source..

The guy does not wanna talk to her because all she ever talks about is how much she loves me...

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You're going to find, that in life, even those you think are reliable and in whom you can trust, may be double agents.

That ex of hers doesn't want to talk to her? Really? But you wrote in your first post that he had just messaged her saying:

"how come we dont have convos at 2am anymore?"

If he doesn't want to talk to her because she's always flapping her gums about you - then WHY is he asking HER why they don't talk anymore?

And you know these facts, so my next question is: why are you accepting this contradiction of facts she's given you?

(and I also note that her message back to him at that time didn't mention you at all, so much for ALWAYS talking about you...)

Probably what's happening behind the scenes, unknown to you, is that your girl and her ex have come up with this scenario to feed you with, and "reliable source" may have been fed that story as well, or be in on the conspiracy (especially if "reliable source" is a friend of hers).

Probably what's happening behind the scenes, unknown to you, is that your girl and her ex have come up with this scenario to feed you with, and "reliable source" may have been fed that story as well, or be in on the conspiracy (especially if "reliable source" is a friend of hers).

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This could be very true given the facts. In fact, her friend (the reliable source) may not even know this is a lie. Your GF might just have told her "XXX doesn't want to talk to me anymore because he says I keep talking to Slickaz - can you believe that?"....

But the point is valid.

ok,yes that IS true. It is possible that they both got together and hatched a plan to dupe me into believing something that is not true.

But here is the thing, dont you think in today's chaotic world, we still have something called trust?
The reason im even in this predicement is because of lack of trust i have for her, however she trusts me.

The source is extremely reliable and the matter is in fact the truth. I believe it because it all checks out.

Guys I think sometimes we just need to put SOME trust in women.

I know I should take my own advice more often but, I'm moving towards the advice from
Horaholic, WC2 and Otako.

I can only focus on me, like i always have before she came along, if she wants to do something she will and she can. If I catch her, I will walk. I will make this known not with words but with action.
I will avoid falling prey to her puppy faces or tears or tantrums and if she cant live with it, she can walk.

>> But here is the thing, dont you think in today's chaotic world, we still have something called trust? >>

Well, there's blind trust, which is kind of Pollyanna, and then there's a more practical granting of trust up to the point where someone does something that makes you not trust them.

Above everyone and everything else, I have to trust myself first and foremost: that I'll be smart and good to myself by not turning a blind eye and discounting the evidence and to get out when I whiff the scent of deceit.

For the pain of the loss is but momentary compared to what lies ahead.

Jesus - definitely right on one point; learn to write English correctly. I don't know about others, but I struggled to read your posts Slick.

Respect yourself first, improve yourself too; and others will respect you, and your woman will think a lot more of you.

But, please, please improve your writing skills.

I dont understand what you guys are complaining about.
Which part of my writing skill is so bad?

It IS! in english right?

what level is expected on this board? victorian era language?

What exactly needs to be improved?

She intentionally deleted the fb message to the guy on her updates so you wouldn't see it. And you trust her.