Tell her you like her

To those of you who don't believe in using the phrase "I like you" with a woman:

Girls are people too. Imagine having a girl that you hang out with come out and tell you she likes you. How would that feel, how would you change your views of her, it at all?

I believe that if you can't tell a girl you like her, you are not enough of a man to be in a relationship with her.

If you don't, then right now you're hoping an easier way falls into your hands, and that may or may not happen...The fact is you like her and you want to know if she likes you too, so you can decide where to place her among your many priorities.

A friend of mine recently ran into a thought-blockade where he believed that telling a girl you like her puts you at a major disadvantage.

It depends- but generally this belief is not true at all.

For those who believe in this disadvantage, do your thoughts come from personal experience and personal beliefs, or are they just restatements of an old "tip" you've read when you were starting out, with no definitive reason behind it all?

If you have a pretty decent relationship with a girl you're interested in, tell her you like her already.

You're young and inexperienced so I won't rip your theories to shred just yet. Put simply, you cannot language a woman into liking you. You can give her all the compliments in the world, but that won't build attraction. Period.

Most times if you tell a woman you like her, you've just tipped your hand, are no longer a challenge, and any attraction she may have had will drain instantly out of her. I've witnessed this countless times, not only personally but with friends and family as well.

Now the good news: telling a woman you like her can be a good thing if applied with precision and timing. However, that doesn't mean guys should throw it out there the moment they realize they like her. Usually for me I don't say it until we're making out, and it's as a means to dissuade LMR down the road. Think of it as a very large qualification or validation of the woman meeting my standards.

Bottom line, done right it'll actually amp attraction like a BT spike. Done incorrectly as most guys do and it's a massive misstep.

Nutz said:

Bottom line, done right it'll actually amp attraction like a BT spike. Done incorrectly as most guys do and it's a massive misstep.

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Could you explain how somebody would do it "correctly?"

always lay the emphasis on her.

Did YOU have a good time,

Did YOU like the food,

etc.

Make sure you don't have pointless words coming out of your mouth. only talk when you have something to say.

That will get you on the right path, and once your on the right path the girl will let you know how your doing and you respond accordingly.

HB:I had a great time tonight.
DJ: What can i say, i'm great company. haha j/k i had a great time too, thanks for coming out.

HB:Let's take a picture.
DJ:Okay one second, let me make sure my hairs okay. haha j/k.

HB: Thanks for dinner/tonight .
DJ: Don't mention it, you were great company but you know next ones on you right?

If you find yourself in a situation where you need to verbally express your feelings for her, your doing something wrong. Remember your a man, you don't need to babble away. That's what the girls do. I find its always better to say a little bit less or just enough than to say too much.

AAAgent said:

If you find yourself in a situation where you need to verbally express your feelings for her, your doing something wrong. Remember your a man, you don't need to babble away. That's what the girls do. I find its always better to say a little bit less or just enough than to say too much.

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Words to live by!

AAAgent said:

If you find yourself in a situation where you need to verbally express your feelings for her, your doing something wrong.

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I understand why you should lay emphasis on the girl, also why pointless words can hurt you.
But why do say verbally expressing your feelings is a result of doing something wrong?

your a man, you get sh!t done. Atleast that the kind of man most woman want. They don't want someone who talks to get their sh!t done, they want a man who does it themselves without complaint. A girl will know how you feel by your actions not by your words.

Women use words to express themselves openly, men use actions.

You kiss her, hug her, fvck, movies, dates, etc.

If your doing all these things and still complimenting her every now and then to make her feel special and treating her like an actual woman and not a possession you won't ever have to express your feelings for her first.

I'm not saying you should never say anything about loving her or liking her just don't say it when you don't need to. your actions do all the talking and if she asks, that's when you need to say it otherwise just keep your sh!t to yourself.

If you do love her:

HB:I love you.
DJ:Love you too babe.

Not sure yet:

HB: I love you.
DJ: That's great . Kiss and hug.

(she will know that your unsure and try to validate herself to you more and probably ask you that question more often)

Men and women are meant to compliment each other. Were supposed to be each others opposites. That's why when a real man meets a woman the girl is head over heels for the guy but when she meets an AFC she's basically meeting another woman and still needs her other half. Don't play the females part. The human race is comprised of two sexes for a reason. If it was meant that males and females were to act alike and be completely on the same level as each other, we would be asexual.

That really doesn't answer my question, but now I have a new one:

How would you ask out a girl (as opposed to inviting her to hang out with you) without being honest and saying something like "I like you, and I want to get to know you better?"

I'm in the Mood said:

That really doesn't answer my question, but now I have a new one:

How would you ask out a girl (as opposed to inviting her to hang out with you) without being honest and saying something like "I like you, and I want to get to know you better?"

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"You seem interesting, but I'm not so sure about you yet What's a good way of keeping in touch?"

It's the same premise for ****y/funny number closing an HB.

NEVER tell a girl that you like them unless by their actions they have already validated the fact that they like you.

I'm in the Mood said:

That really doesn't answer my question, but now I have a new one:

How would you ask out a girl (as opposed to inviting her to hang out with you) without being honest and saying something like "I like you, and I want to get to know you better?"

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You don't. You do it right, invite her to go somewhere. She already knows you like her somewhat. Let her find out how much...thats the game, thats what makes her want to go out with you. You want to put all of your cards on the table....thats no fun for either of you. You ask her to go do something...let her figure it out.

How does saying "I like you" harm you in any way?
If you say it she'll still want to find out how much you like her won't she?

This is all from my point of view - I wasn't referring to completely obsessing over a girl and confessing that you're crazy about her or anything. The point that I present of telling a girl that you like her is to open up an opportunity with pure honesty and the ability to openly talk about your mutual relationship. If it's evident that she'll only see you as a friend no matter what, then you either befriend her or next her.

Heres another restatement:

"I believe that if you can't tell a girl you like her, you are not enough of a man to be in a relationship with her."

Somebody chew on that, I'd like to know what you guys who are against telling a girl "I like you" think of it. Btw this is much about using words and actions at the same level of importance.

Thanks for the responses though guys.

It's not about us not having the cojones to tell a girl "i like you." Get this through you're head. You're making it out to be like the reason we don't say it is because we're shy or worried what the result will be.
We don't say it because there's no need, and it's not something we, as MEN, would do. Stop asking loaded questions and thinking you've hit GOLD, because you haven't.

Telling someone "i like you" is the stupidest thing, whether they are a man or a woman. Why do YOU feel the need to say these kinds of things to a girl? Can you not show her you value her and let her know through actual ACTIONS that you think you've both got something good going on? (Of course, this doesn't mean buy her crap and treat her like she's better than you, because that's just as bad... but I'd LIKE to hear your argument for why THAT is acceptable behaviour for a man to practise)

It should be fvcking obvious that you like a girl if you're spending time with her. Saying "I like you" is really awkward and makes you look like a chump. Do you want her to say "I like you too!"? Do you think she'll do a song and dance in bed for you right then and there if you say the magic words "I like you."? Ridiculous.
Saying "I like you" accomplishes nothing, conveys nothing to a woman but the fact that you're slightly socially awkward, and is proven way to lower a woman's interest level.
Clearly the only reason you want to convince DJs that spilling guts to a girl is "good" is because you have a oneitis for a girl and don't know any other way to let her know.

Of course, telling her that she's a great girl and such is fine sometimes when she's being a good girl. Things like "you're kinda alright" and other funny things are alright if used correctly, of course. But things like "i like you" and "you mean a lot to me" are silly unless you're in a LTR and you've got a good thing going. Even then, "I like you" is still the most childish thing you could possibly say to a woman to convey your feelings for her.

ok well think of it this way, you really want this game alot, and when you finally get it and you know its all yours then what do you do? throw it away and find a newer game. its similiar to girls and guys, if you know you can have someone easily would you take them? freak no you take someone who is newer, hotter a little bit more above their level. because humans don't want to settle with something equal to themselves, they want something BETTER literally ALWAYS.

so you tell a girl you like her? she knows she has you and therefore can move up, same thing can happen with guys btw.
and while in some cases they might not, most of my personal experience and of people around me end up like this, basically telling her you like her removes an element of uncertainty or a better word tension

When I talk about the phrase "I like you," I'm not talking about something you randomly say to a woman to get interest. It's actually not about interest at all.

The way I picture using it is in the act of setting vocabulary, which could either stick or vanish if she just wants to be friends.

The point of this isn't to just say three words, it's to let her know what's on your mind with honesty. Her reaction to pure honesty is what you're looking for, you want her to respond honestly back to you, then you can take the situation into your hands. You aren't giving the girl any control, you're letting her decide what she thinks of you so she can tell you her feelings.

Man, "I like you" isn't gonna make you look like a chump or lower her interest level. The purpose of this line is to act as an opener to making a move. If you've known a girl awhile, she's probably already made up her mind about you, and she might already have the feeling that you like her.

Do any of you think that I'm thinking out of the DJ mindset? If so please draw attention to it because I'm still convinced this isn't a bad thing to do.

You can say all these cheesy things when you're making out and taking her clothes off. That's when they work best.

The other use for it is when you want to pretend to be AFC so that some chick can get her ego fix and leave you alone.

Jitterbug said:

You can say all these cheesy things when you're making out and taking her clothes off. That's when they work best.

The other use for it is when you want to pretend to be AFC so that some chick can get her ego fix and leave you alone.

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Thank you. That's what I'm talking about. All that other stuff is for kids, which makes sense seeing as it was posted by a 16 year old.

I'm in the Mood said:

When I talk about the phrase "I like you," I'm not talking about something you randomly say to a woman to get interest. It's actually not about interest at all.

The way I picture using it is in the act of setting vocabulary, which could either stick or vanish if she just wants to be friends.

The point of this isn't to just say three words, it's to let her know what's on your mind with honesty. Her reaction to pure honesty is what you're looking for, you want her to respond honestly back to you, then you can take the situation into your hands. You aren't giving the girl any control, you're letting her decide what she thinks of you so she can tell you her feelings.

Man, "I like you" isn't gonna make you look like a chump or lower her interest level. The purpose of this line is to act as an opener to making a move. If you've known a girl awhile, she's probably already made up her mind about you, and she might already have the feeling that you like her.

Do any of you think that I'm thinking out of the DJ mindset? If so please draw attention to it because I'm still convinced this isn't a bad thing to do.

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Look, I've been getting laid since he was in diapers. Literally. I don't mean to bust on you too much, but what you're talking about is complete crap, but that's okay because you're trying to learn. The fact is that you just don't have the experiences yet to realize why it's so bad. We've tried to clue you in throughout the thread, but you're not listening. Give it a read start to finish. Try to remember that logic goes right out the window when you're talking about how attraction works. If you do somehow trip up a woman's brain and make her go logical, guess what happens....attraction shuts down. Logic and attraction happen from different parts of the brain. That's why if one kicks on the other often kicks off. That's why dazzling them with bull**** can get you laid. That's the bottom line. "I like you", applied at the wrong time, can snap them out of that emotionally fulfilling vibe and make them come back to reality because it's such a powerful statement. That's bad because then attraction often goes out the door when that stark reality smacks them across the face.

When you're in a situation that's obviously romantic/intimate then it's fine to give her whatever compliments you please...maybe if you're holding hands on a park bench at sunset or lying in bed after fvcking or something similar...but just out of the blue she'll think you're needy.

It's not about what you say but how you say it.

jc.dunn said:

It's not about what you say but how you don't say it.

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Fixed