I finally know what it'll take to make me happy in my love life.

I keep telling myself that all I want is sex and I'll be happy with ****ing hot girls all the time. But I'm lying to myself. Most guys talk about getting booty, which may be great for them, but meaningless sex to me isn't worth it. I have to know a girl for a while, a while doesn't mean months but at least 3 dates before I even want to have sex with her. This means my heart wouldn't be into it if I go to a bar/club and have a one night stand. I want a girl to have feelings for me, and not just some slut wanting to bang.

Which leads me to my other hangup. I can't stand to think the girl I'm dating was or is promiscuous. I don't mind if she had 1 or 2 LTRs, but most girls have had a lot more than that. Especially by the time they're my age. A girl that doesn't rush into sex or sexual acts with any old guy they meet is very hot to me. I mean girls nowadays do so much by the time they're 21 and everybody thinks it's all a-okay. In high school, they start messing around then college they let loose, then it's the clubs/bars. By the time I meet them, they probably been with two dozen men and that's considered low in these times.

Girls may not be looking for a nice guy, but I'm looking for a nice girl. I don't believe in waiting to marriage to have sex because if I'm really attracted to you and want to be even closer, I want to have sex. So a Christian girl would be too uptight for me. But are there any nice girls out there and where are they? Obviously I won't find one in a club/bar because all a girl needs is for one of you DJs to go in there, sweet talk them, and you're in their pants that night. Good for you, but the whole thought sickens me.

This is probably an unusual switch from what guys here are looking for. I want to improve myself where I can attract a girl that cares about herself and open to a LTR. Any guys masters at this?

Hello there

Hey,

It's funny, I wrote about the same thing couple weeks ago. I got off the dating scene because I was bored of "playing with toys". Anyone can go to a bar and sweet talk to a chick. But it gets really boring.

I'm looking for a real connection with a girl, something meaningful. I find that it's quite hard to find though.

Recently I was thinking about it, thinking about finding the thin line between seducing and being myself but to be honest I haven't found a match yet.

I'm still searching,

It is hard to find. But that's what makes it such a great thing when you find it. If you could easily, truely connect with girls all the time, that would be boring.

The scarcity of finding somebody you really like, not just sexually, is actually the beauty of it. So make sure you set your standards high, it'll make it that much more special in the end.

I'm more into relationships than fast fvcks. So I'm with you guys on this one.

Same here guys...i recently posted that i am not one for ONS's...Im more toward going from LTR to LTR...i too do not want quick lays.

i want connection, i want to go to bed with a chick and like waking up next to her in the morning, and her the same.

I think thats why its appealing for guys to try and get back with LTR ex's - they dont want to have to look for a scarce legit connection again - in essence, no one wants to start over lol.

I'm in the same boat. I lost my vcard to some random craigslist girl and the whole time I wasn't enjoying it. I do enjoy bragging it to my friends, but that's about it. I think it would be better if I was making love to someone I care about rather than just a dead fish.

The problem is what most men call a 'real connection' really just means a 'friendship' in most terms.

Sure, a man can connect with a girl emotionally and not have any sexual relations for some times. But sooner or later she's going to wonder, is he really a man?

A man in the most pure sense seeks reproduction, thus sex, and also seeks to be the #1 male (aka success).

Women are naturally attracted to these men and therefore are always getting boned by these men.

I've yet to find that 'one girl' who is unmovable to this type of man unless she's a lesbian.

I'm not really sure if you know what it takes to make you happy in life. I think you THINK you know what it takes, but you really don't know till you're there.

I once thought that if I found a good girl who was a virgin or near it I'd be in paradise. It was an utter lie.

My most enjoyable relationship was with a girl who had sex with over 15 men (and she's only 21). She wasn't boring and I found that dealing with her past is well worth the hours upon hours of crazy sex and great times we had together.

The sad part (as you state) is that most women are like this, which is why there are sites such as these. The women are gaining ground on us due to recent changes in society and how females are looked upon in general. The man who knows how to handle his woman will thus ultimately come out the winner most (not all, no ones perfect) the time. In other words, yes women will always be promiscuous and always cheat; however a small % of men know how to be the #1 man in their womans' books all the time.

So while these women may be promiscuous and cheating on some men, there are always the 'top dogs' who are getting most of this pvssy with no emotional repercussions.

That's why it's so tough to go in to a relationship these days with any woman without thinking twice about trusting her. However, sometimes it's worth the jump. I'm probably one of the most bitter posters on this site about Ex's and relationships, but I've learned more through them than I would have playing the field and remaining single all the time.

OP, you only think you know, but you haven't tested it empirically.

I think the problem is that since more guys have a difficult time getting sex/women,that in their minds,they build it up to be some big,grand,be all kind of thing. They keep telling themselves that if they could just get a girl,that they'd be happy. They keep wishing and hoping,and thinking and fantasizing about how wonderful and life-changing it's going to be,then when they finally get into a LTR or they finally do get a ONS and have sex,at the time that it's happening they feel great and they enjoy it,but once it's over,they feel void. It's like,"that's it?" A lot,lot of guys think that sex equals happiness,but it doesn't. I hope I don't get banned for saying this,but here goes anyway:I believe that in the end,both men and women actually want the same thiing. They both want someone who they love,who loves them,someone they have fire/electricity for just by being in their presense.
Someone who makes them for those so-called "butterflies".

I honestly believe that. I think that men and women both want the same thing,we just have different ways of going about trying to get it.

If a woman had a man who just by him looking at her,caused all kinds of fireworks/bells and whistles to go off in her body and on top of all that he was faithful,then why would she need to cheat? Why would she ever want to leave him and be with someone else?

Same thing with men. If you have a woman whose face and body turned you on like crazy everytime you see her,plus she's faithful,has a cool personality,and is low drama,then why would you need to cheat on her? What for? Because some other girl is "hot"? That's just stupid.

Sometimes I think that some men instead of acting and behaving like a man in control of his sexual desires,he acts like a penis with a man atttached.

If I'm not interested in her as a person, I can't fake it long enough to get to know her body.

I find them boring, they find me boring, end of story. I'm kind of an eccentric guy and it's only the not-quite-normal girls who go for me and vice versa.