Girlfriend acting stange

Bare with me this is kind of a detailed story.

We've been dating for about 5 months now and everything was going fine. SHe was always staying at my place texting me or calling every day to let me know what she was doing and we would go out every weekend with our friends.

This all stopped when suddenly she got sick and i didnt see her for a week. WHen the weekend comes around and i think everything is fine she tells me shes going out of town to see friends on a trip she had asked me to go with her awhile before. I came over to see her when she got back and she said that she wanted to sleep alone since she didnt have a good sleep in a few days. I agreed and left. The next day when she didnt call me i left a message saying i was confused about why she was acting strange. She didn't call me until a day later when I was in class at law school at night. She left a message saying that her job was killing her and that shes been so tired and had no time. but that we would go to dinner tomorrow. She also told me that she was gonna drink at her house and to come over but i couldnt becuase i had class too late.

The next day rolled around and she didnt contact me about dinner until 1030 at night when she said she was hung over and fell asleep.
After that I tell her we need to talk and she says that her job has been so busy this week and dealing with a bf was tough that week.

The next day rolls around and she tells me she cant go out cuz shes tired then she tells me her friends convinced her otherwise and that we should meet up. SHe never responded to my calls that night when i went out.

The next night she told me she would call me after dinner and i reiteredated that we needed to meet and talk but it seemed she was avoiding it. She never called and when my friend told me she was out at this bar i rolled up with this other girl she hates and my friends and kind of ignored her.

Finally the bar closed and we talked, both drunk, and i asked her flat out if she still wanted to be with me and she said yes but started crying saying i had no idea what she went through that week with work. And i asked her if things were going too fast and she said yes but that she didnt want to break up and that she didnt wanna talk about this while we were drunk. we said we loved each other kissed and that was it.
I then texted her to ask if we could talk tomorrow and she just told me to relax.

The next morning i told her sorry and she said she was embarrased by the whole public thing and i just said how sorry i was and that would talk to her later.

At this point i plan on not contacting her and just giving her her space. When she said she still wanted to be with me but things were going to fast keep in mind that she told me she loved me first and was always trying to spend time with me. Im just really confused as to what happened.

Any ideas?

Dude, straight up just sit her down when you are BOTH sober and ask her what the deal is.

If you're in a relationship, don't play these kind of games. Tell her you'd rather just get out whatever is going on straight than beating around the bush. You're going to have to be the man for it because girls will always dodge unless you confront her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyCFi7lbw50

Its the beginning of the end.

This "too fast" business is a common and tiresome feminine social convention.

In other words its a cheap but *LEGITIMATE SOUNDING* excuse to allow a woman to consider other options while keeping you warmed up on the backburner incase she ultimately decides not to trade you up completely for the other guy she is seeing.

Think about it.

How many very hot women you've been with in your life have made you say to yourself "Oh my this is going too fast I better slow this right down this instant!??"

Probably none and no one that is truly into another person ever says it either male or female.

The only time this is a truly legitimate statement to make is when its made concerning marriage.

Other than that its once again merely a feminine social convention that serves the agenda of a woman entirely in fooling a guy and allowing her to explore and consider other options while keeping you around incase her other option doesn't pan out.

sasffl said:

Any ideas?

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Always remember that with women "ACTIONS SPEAK'S LOUDER THEN WORDS"

Sorry to say but it doesn't look good.

Her avoidance and lying is not a good sign.

Her crying while drunk is her guilt trying to come out.

I think she is cheating on you.

Everything about that is bad. It sounds like she may be cheating to me too. Or, it sounds like when she went out of town, she may have "made a mistake" and is feeling too guilty to talk to you, hence the crying to you when she was drunk, saying "lets not talk about it now. She's avoiding you for a reason.

Ask yourself this: What possible reason could she have for wanting to avoid you? I can only think of one. If she were just losing interest, it wouldnt have been such an overnight change.

Im sorry, bro, but this doesnt look good at all. Too many bullshyt excuses, and avoiding you, and acting guilty.

When chicks do this, the relationship is DONE. The best thing you can do, is dump her first. Whether she's cheating or not, she is over it.

yeah its done but she is giving u what blues traveler called the run around.. why? well its what most females do...

you need to go out and get u 3 new girls as soon as possible... this girl has started dating other men...

Why would she tell me she still wanted to stay together? Wouldnt that have been a perfect time for her to dodge the question or be like i think we should take a break? I asked her several times if she still wanted to be with me and she kept saying yes of course.

So what should I do? My friends are saying give her some space and when she wonders why i stopped calling she'll call me.

Or should I just call her up and be like listen i want to break up?

When she found out I was hanging out with this girl that one night she went out and didnt call me, she texted me sarcastically asking me about it. Then my friend told me that he heard that she thinks i cheated on her that night. I kept telling her I didnt and she said i never said you did

sasffl said:

Why would she tell me she still wanted to stay together? Wouldnt that have been a perfect time for her to dodge the question or be like i think we should take a break? I asked her several times if she still wanted to be with me and she kept saying yes of course.

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If she cheated on you with some guy she met on a trip, it's probably just a holiday fling and she still prefers the security that you Mr Reliable Boyfriend give her compared to some random dude. Of course she doesn't want to break up with you just yet.

I'd sit her down and talk about it. If you can't be honest and communicate with each other (don't buy her BS about "you don't know what I've been through" - that's just her playing the victim card), there is no relationship and you should dump her. If your gut is telling you she's still lying and covering up her guilt, then end it.

Sorry mate, this doesn't sound good at all. It's like you just got whacked square in the face with a Big Red Chinese flag.

Well I don't really know what to make of the whole situation, but the one thing I do know is you've just been adding fuel to the fire this whole time. You need to ease up a bit. Don't keep on nagging her (well any girl for that matter) like you were about needing to talk. Think about how you feel if you want some space from a girl to think or whatever or if you just don't feel like having a deep emotional conversation for whatever reason and she just keeps on asking to talk about things. That kind of stuff pushes people away fast.

That being said, I'm not so sure she cheated on you like everyone else seems to think. Not saying she didn't, I just think more information is needed. It definitely sounds like her interest level is dropping, but after around 5-6 months it's not too uncommon for the honeymoon effect to start wearing off, especially if you were making yourself overly available from the get go as it seems you were. Not for her but just in general you need to learn to lean back a bit and not get so strung out over small stuff. You say things were going well until she got sick, then you had one bad week. It's not the end of the world. But acting like you've been acting just makes matters worse and will be the death of this relationship.

My advice to you would be to start doing the opposite of what you've been doing recently. Stop acting clingy and weird and be more supportive. If you were tired and had a long week at work would you want someone calling you and badgering you about hanging out and talking about feelings? Just relax and let the chips fall where they may. And giving her space and not contacting her are two very different things. I'd say to call or text her here and there...just keep it short and sweet. Be fun and silly and don't try to get all deep. Make yourself scarce and mysterious, leave her wanting more, and try to be a bit less predictable.

"Why would she tell me she still wanted to stay together?"

Dude...

Chicks say sh!t like this because it buys them time to decide what THEY want to do.

Its either gonna be dump you for the new guy or stay with you after all.

You thinking about the situation logically as a man take her words at face value not recognizing that the only language women truly speak in and reveal the truth about themselves by is emotional language.

Her crying, her being upset, all of that is all you need to be paying attention to not what she says.

And from the looks of it things don't look like they are going to work out in your favor.

So what you do from here on out is indeed wait this situation out, let her make the move to call you.

If she drops the bombshell about hooking up with some other guy at any point do not cuss her out or tell her off in any way, rather instead politely say goodbye and nothing else.

No "goodbye you b!tch" or "goodbye slvt" none of that you simply say "goodbye" and then let her hear the phone go dead on the other end.

Should she call you back repeatedly or confront you in person trying to get you to forgive her you will not forgive her or take her back or respond to her in any way.

You'll either get your phone number changed or have her number blocked and if she confronts you in person at your home you close the door in her face without saying a word and if its not at your home where she tries to confront you you then simply walk on by and walk away.

Women feed on bad emotions as well as good and the best way you can pay her back for her evil deeds should she have cheated on you is give her no emotional reaction whatsoever and that means none of the delicious conflict that she seeks.

Your non reaction will slowly drive her mad.

Most guys don't have the emotional fortitude and control to do the right thing like this.

They either opt for false friends fagg0try with their ex or they give her the emotional high that telling her off ultimately results in or they foolishly forgive the b!tch take her back not realizing that by doing so she will ultimately lose respect for you which will end the relationship badly for you eventually anyway because she will view you as weak and unable to secure a better girl for yourself than cheating scum which she is and thats the only reason you took her back.

So yeah don't be any of these kind of guys and you will win should worse come to worse.

I've gone into tremendous detail here over what you should do should the worst scenario occur because I want to cover every possible angle I can think of for you as most guys have tons of questions when it comes to this so hopefully I've covered the grand majority of them.

My advice to you would be to start doing the opposite of what you've been doing recently. Stop acting clingy and weird and be more supportive. If you were tired and had a long week at work would you want someone calling you and badgering you about hanging out and talking about feelings? Just relax and let the chips fall where they may. And giving her space and not contacting her are two very different things. I'd say to call or text her here and there...just keep it short and sweet. Be fun and silly and don't try to get all deep. Make yourself scarce and mysterious, leave her wanting more, and try to be a bit less predictable.

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There were a few days last week where i wouldnt call or text her and i would get these long texts saying she was sorry she didnt call me but that she was really busy. I've been trying to text her here an there but it seems she only understands a guy ignoring her. Shes been screwed over by a lot of guys so i feel like thats what she respects. As of now i figure im not gonna contact her unless i dont hear from her the day before valentines day in which I will end it. What do you all think?

she just textred me that she hates whats happening to us and wants to talk - maybe not tnight cuz shes gonna be busy till late but tomorrow.

I feel like i should just saw look, we need to talk tnight. Or should I just tell her sorry im gonna be busy?

Well one possibility is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VN36ZJiNRY

And I can see her wanting to keep a latch on you though since one day your going to be worth some doe after law school and you pass the bar. You have future potential to women that they can invest in as long as they don't get caught messing around.

sasffl said:

I feel like i should just saw look, we need to talk tnight. Or should I just tell her sorry im gonna be busy?

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You need to get to the bottom of this, the sooner the better.

I think she has already made up her mind, and you will probably recieve one of the following answers:

1) She will tell you that she needs some space to "find herself"

2) She will tell you that she has in fact "cheated on you" but it doesn't mean that you two can't still be friends or work on your relationship.

3) She will tell you that she is really sorry that she acted "distant" all this time but she will try to make it up to you.

Give us an update when you get your answer and remember not to agree to anything she says right off the bat, especially when you aren't happy with the outcome. You need to walk away and tell her you will think about it.

Women often like to "surprise" guys with a bad revelation and then resort to crying which confuses the hell out of them. Make no mistake about it, crying is a tactic employed by women for thousands of years to manipulate men into feeling sorry for them and agreeing with them.

I still havent responded, one of my friends asked her what was going on and if there was anything he could do to help the situatuion and she said that im mad cuz we havent been hanging out and that she just doesnt have time like she used to and that shes so stressed and im only making it worse and that she doesnt know what to do.

This guy is pretty close with her but part of me believes her and the other part of me thinks she is just trying to get him to side with her. I still havent responded to the text, should i not be as forceful with her knowing this info now?

sasffl said:

I still havent responded, one of my friends asked her what was going on and if there was anything he could do to help the situatuion and she said that im mad cuz we havent been hanging out and that she just doesnt have time like she used to and that shes so stressed and im only making it worse and that she doesnt know what to do.

This guy is pretty close with her but part of me believes her and the other part of me thinks she is just trying to get him to side with her. I still havent responded to the text, should i not be as forceful with her knowing this info now?

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That's all hearsay, you need to look her right in the face when she tells you whatever that is she wants to tell you.

If she comes up with the defence "that she just doesn't have time for you" then you need to walk away from her because that's bullsh1t defence right there.

When people want to be with you, they will make time for you.

Shut her off like a light switch.
Get into the gym, go tanning (haha I know I always say that and it sounds funny but it does help trust me), get a sharp new haircut, clean up your appearance and clean your place and get your car detailed, start wearing cologne and make other plans with other people during the times where you would normally hang out with her.
When she comes running, even if it is only to talk, and you are casual, warm, smiley, confident, and look and smell different she is going to be one confused mofo.. if she starts talking about what is going on just say you thought the two of you were through based on x, y, z and that you cant slow down - you are a deep pashionate person. Remember to say it all with a smile. Then ljbf her and dismiss yourself.

I finally texted her "do you want to fix this" she said "ya we obviously have a lot to talk about" then i said "do you want this to work or not? if not we shouldnt keep putting this off." and she said "yes i do. and i dont htink this is a convo t ohave over texting"

sasffl said:

I finally texted her "do you want to fix this" she said "ya we obviously have a lot to talk about" then i said "do you want this to work or not? if not we shouldnt keep putting this off." and she said "yes i do. and i dont htink this is a convo t ohave over texting"

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Bro you gotta drive to her house asap, like right now just drive to her house and talk. Look her in the eyes, ask her what the fvck is going on, and OBSERVE HER BODY LANGUAGE.

Doing this will tell you all you need to know: whether she truly does want to fix things and wants to be with you or if shes lying to your face and shes cheating on you.


And heres a nice piece of advice when you talk things over: Never, NEVER fully believe everything a woman says. Always keep that in the back of your mind, because MANY women will just spoon feed a man what he wants to hear. Observe her body language and look for indicators of her lying to you.

sasffl said:

This all stopped when suddenly she got sick and i didnt see her for a week.

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What kind of communicating occurred during this week?