Want to have sex with friend but not really attracted

Maxtro

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There is a girl who is a former coworker of mine. Over the months we've become friends and have hung out several times together, last weekend the most recent. Being the horny man that I am, I would like to have sex with her but I'm not really attracted to her. She's a skinny 18 year old black girl. Unfortunately she doesn't have the ass or rack that black girls are known for. She's doable but not really my type. Even though I'm not into her body I want what's between her legs. Not having had sex in years may be what is driving me.

To make things a little complicated, she is a virgin. She's been single for a month since she broke up with her girlfriend of one year. She hasn't dated a man since before then. I've never been with a virgin and I don't know how they would react to after doing it. I do not want a relationship with her and would like to pursue other girls. Ideally I would like to bang her every once in a while and also do other chicks.

I know she likes me a little. Occasionally she calls or text's me late at night asking what I'm doing. We've hung out several times these past months. I've been to the mall and supermarket with her. I've also been out with her on a couple of occasions teaching her to drive. I've even brought her to my place twice but we only talked and watched TV. I didn't have the guts to make a move that was a couple of months ago.

Anyways I don't know if I should try to peruse sex with with her or what I even want out of her. I don't want her to think I want a relationship. It wouldn't be too hard to get her over to my place where I can try something. I don't even know why I'm putting this much thought into it.
 

iambrian81

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Casually invite her to hangout at your apartment/house then escalate. It's not that hard.
 

Al Moh.

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Maxtro,

you have been here since 2004 I think. You should have gotten further in your journey right now!

Why haven't you? The question you should ask yourself is: What did you learn, what did you change?

Back in 2004 your wrote that your primary goal was to lay chicks because you felt like you had to catch up. Maybe this is the problem. This isn't the Don Juan way for a reason. Because the goal must not be women. To get women, you must have other goals and an interesting life. Not so you can show of your interesting life (stupid DHVs...) but because it reflects in your aura, a general happiness and coolness and lack of desperation.

Good luck to you.
 

Following_of_Me

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Don't lower your standards just because you are desperate. If you aren't attracted, she's not for you.

Go get a girl you're attracted to.

And also, don't take the virginity of a girl you don't care about. I avoid virgins personally, it's just bad territory. Trust me, it's a big deal to them a lot of the time about who they lose it to. And if you just take it and run, that's a pretty scummy way to be.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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If you look at slickaz's threads he seems to have quite a number of conquests with virgins -- you know she has no STD's and if she's on birth control you wont need a condom.

I know your past as you've said on other posts and think you'll be out of your mind if you pass this one up. I mean you've gone with prostitutes, AFF gf/wife + their lookers or some really loose women and you'll pass up a virgin?

It's like, dude, here's the first real woman that's not a hoe, that's not from AFF and she's landed right into your lap. Wake up and smell the fresh coffee.




-- fine-print you --
(I do not advice people to commit fornication - marry her first before doing it)
 

Maxtro

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Metaphysical said:
the desperation is strong in this one
LOL not having had sex in....4 years will do that to you. Of all the girls I know she seems the, least difficult to get. In other words, she doesn't seem impossible.

iambrian81 said:
Casually invite her to hangout at your apartment/house then escalate. It's not that hard.
That part isn't really what I'm worried about. Actually I know I can easily get her over to my place.

Al Moh. said:
Maxtro,

you have been here since 2004 I think. You should have gotten further in your journey right now!

Why haven't you? The question you should ask yourself is: What did you learn, what did you change?
Easy answer. I'm lazy. It is amazing that I joined this place back in 04 considering what I've done. I've often thought about re-registering under a different name to get rid of my join date and post count. In all honesty I went from a guy almost having Gynephobia (fear of women) to being much more relaxed around them. I've made friends with several girls which is something I haven't done before.

A couple of years ago I had a bad case of depression and I was on Zoloft or something. I often contemplated suicide. I may have made a few posts about it here. That all turned around when I realized that I had a chance to finally get my life on track and go to a university. I'm now in the 1st week of my second semester at college. I'm definitely a much happier person now then I was before. So I've gone from absolute rock bottom to pretty much normal.

My problem is that all this time I've been studying PU and I think I may have overdosed on it. It certainly didn't help me and wasn't what I needed. I've posted on here a lot less since then and basically gave up on reading seduction material. But being surrounded by beautiful women has gotten me interested again.
Al Moh. said:
Back in 2004 your wrote that your primary goal was to lay chicks because you felt like you had to catch up. Maybe this is the problem. This isn't the Don Juan way for a reason. Because the goal must not be women. To get women, you must have other goals and an interesting life. Not so you can show of your interesting life (stupid DHVs...) but because it reflects in your aura, a general happiness and coolness and lack of desperation.

Good luck to you.
Nice job on doing your research. "Primary goal was to lay chicks because you felt like you had to catch up." That is a hard statement for me. I'm currently 27 years old, I'm going to be 30 in 3 years :eek: :( :eek: I still haven't had a girlfriend or even been with a girl that I liked. Am I wrong for wanting a woman by my side? I'd like to be married by the time I'm 35 and I certainly don't want to marry my first girlfriend. I still want to soe my wild oats.

Another thing is, how interesting can a man's life be without women in it? I do have goals in my life and I'm on my way to fulfilling them. But for some reason being the head Network Analysis (or some other IT title) and coming home to an empty house doesn't sound too appealing. If I don't do something to get my women issue handled I may end up loosing my motivation and drop out or something. In other words, I don't know if it's possible to have an interesting life without women.

I do think I'm doing a good job hiding my desperation in the real world. If my chick friends could tell what I really feel, they would all run. Then again I'm sure they are getting a vibe that is preventing them from being attracted to me...

Following_of_Me said:
Don't lower your standards just because you are desperate. If you aren't attracted, she's not for you.

Go get a girl you're attracted to.
Ugh, this is what I'm stuck on. When I'm with her and I picture myself doing stuff to her it feels like I'm forcing myself. It's like I wouldn't enjoy her body as much as a girl I liked. Or am I scared because I'm fearing her rejection? She's not an ugly girl by any means and I'm sure the act ifself will be great.

Doing her might be the break I need that finally ends my loosing streak. Bah I'm placing too much value on the fact that she's girl and not on who she is.
Following_of_Me said:
And also, don't take the virginity of a girl you don't care about. I avoid virgins personally, it's just bad territory. Trust me, it's a big deal to them a lot of the time about who they lose it to. And if you just take it and run, that's a pretty scummy way to be.
It's not that I don't care about her and the last thing I would do is hit it and split. But the thought of her falling in love with me or something doesn't feel good either. I don't want to hurt her.

One benefit about her being a virgin is that she wouldn't have high expectations about sex. It would be cool learning about it together. As long as I can avoid having a relationship with her, everything seems fine.
Luke Skywalker said:
If you look at slickaz's threads he seems to have quite a number of conquests with virgins -- you know she has no STD's and if she's on birth control you wont need a condom.

I know your past as you've said on other posts and think you'll be out of your mind if you pass this one up. I mean you've gone with prostitutes, AFF gf/wife + their lookers or some really loose women and you'll pass up a virgin?

It's like, dude, here's the first real woman that's not a hoe, that's not from AFF and she's landed right into your lap. Wake up and smell the fresh coffee.




-- fine-print you --
(I do not advice people to commit fornication - marry her first before doing it)
LOL. I'll use a condom no matter what. I'm afraid that once I start doing it without protection I'll want to allways do it without, even with other girls. Also who knows if she will be with other guys when I'm not with her. Better safe then sorry.

Yeah my sexual history is screwed up. Then again I haven't been with a women since 2005 so I guess I'm "sober." It is odd you telling me to go for it. It would be a serious accomplishment for me. But is that the way to look at a friend?

ROFL it's part guilt and the other part is fear.
 
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Maxtro said:
Yeah my sexual history is screwed up. Then again I haven't been with a women since 2005 so I guess I'm "sober." It is odd you telling me to go for it. It would be a serious accomplishment for me. But is that the way to look at a friend?

ROFL it's part guild and the other part is fear.
I'm not sure what a defination of a friend is. I thought a friend in need is a friend in deed. You get favours from your friends -- they are supposed to be there for you. In this case you want to get laid. A true friend will understand this and spread her legs.

Seriously, this is your 'piece on the side' man. If you have sex with her like once a month or something then that will build up your confidence. You can pursue other girls that are more attractive knowing you have a safe base that you are occasionally getting some from (without paying for it or resorting to something a notch or two higher than that) someone. You'll get more attractive girls later as her pheromones rub off on you afterwards and other women in your cohert start looking at you differently. I would like to see how this plays out, but a man in your position cant pass this up.






( Note: You should marry a woman before having sex with her -- otherwise it's wrong. This is not the right path.)
 
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Maxtro

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Luke, I can't tell if you are serious or not.

Anyways, yes being with her on occasion will build up confidence and I would move up to more attractive girls. Anyways I'm still considering it.
 
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