If you're good looking, be NICE!

Obey Propaganda · Dec 7, 2008

All this BS about acting ****y and trying to be Mr. Too Cool, etc.

If you're good looking, it isn't necessary, trust me. It'll make you come off as an ass, and most girls will just think you're not interested in them. Being nice has gotten more panties thrown at me than acting ****y.

The last couple of weeks I decided to try something, different... being nice.

There was this cute girl I made eye contact with at work. I struck up a conversation with her in the elevator. Instead of negging, teasing, etc, I just asked her if she was ready for winter with a smile (we just had a big snowfall) she smiled and said "man summer went by so quick". I replied "Yeah we should book a flight to Hawaii". She laughed. Her floor came and I said "Take it easy we'll see ya around".

The next day she sat at my table in the breakroom and we just talked. Toward the end of the conversation I said "Hey what's your number, let's hang out sometime". She gave me her number and seem flattered. Had 2 great dates so far.

I thought okay, it's one girl.

Then I really tested it. Yesterday at the mall I saw this really cute HB9 looking at clothes. She was holding up this cute little dress. I walked up next to her, grabbed a dress and held it to my body. I said "You think this is my color?" She busted out laughing. I was like "Yeeah, I think it'd look better on you... Actually I just came over here to get your number... did it work?" She read off her number and said "I guess it did" with a smile on her face. Called her today and set up a date.

The advice on this site is geared more towards nerds who don't know what they're doing. It trys to put them on a pedestal and make them feel like the prize. Which is good, and probably gives them confidence. But to the good looking guys, it's unnecessary.

You don't need to be overly confident or ****y. Make HER the prize. Most women will be flattered that a good looking guy is hitting on them.

Don't listen to these people that tell you it'll come off as needy. It's a crock of sh!t.

Use your looks to your advantage.

specialed · Dec 7, 2008

you say that ****y funny doesn't work? well you just did it with the girl at the clothing store...maybe it wasn't HEAVY...but you did it.

daygameguy · Dec 7, 2008

Being nice means not talking to people at all because you think they will get disturbed and you feel like you don't wanna bug them.

So by definition, you weren't being nice. You were actually being ****y & funny.

jahidi · Dec 7, 2008

Being nice in a confident way is good. Being a supplicating doormat isn't - which is what happens if you tell a loser to be nice. If they told everyone on this site to be nice, even if it really does have its place, it would be a disaster.

I agree that a lot of the advice on this site is tailored to nerds. If you're decent looking and have your sh!t together, you can break the so-called rules here and there.

Good post.

Darth · Dec 7, 2008

"Most women will be flattered that a good looking guy is hitting on them."

Yes. And what's more, even if you don't hit on them, even if you are just talking to them, a lot of times they will hit on you. So for us good-looking guys (not to sound arrogant, lol):

Confident, Nice, and funny>****y and funny.

Poonani Maker · Dec 7, 2008

daygameguy said:
Being nice means not talking to people at all because you think they will get disturbed and you feel like you don't wanna bug them.

So by definition, you weren't being nice. You were actually being ****y & funny.

Well here's the deal with ME. I don't mean to brag but, I'm almost model-looking (I've got the rugged '70s NFL-player look, long hair). Restaurants always seat me or my party at the window so people walking by will see an attraction in addition to food. Happened for the zillionth time yesterday. They should PAY me to sit next to their window, to draw customers in.

Now, I will have waitresses (with a nose-ring, heart-shaped tatoo below her ear, etc.) really give me overt cues of interest besides her job as a waitress. I've had waitresses push other waitresses out of the way so that she could serve ME. When I Know that a woman is That interested, I just behave as if they're disturbing me, or "I'm not interested." I don't give them a reason. It's just that, the tatoo, the hook-nose, whatever is bothering me, and I could never see her as long-term material. Plus, maybe she has a fat ass or something stubby.

I'm REAL picky with girls because I get shown interest all the time. It sucks.

snowdog · Dec 7, 2008

Obey Propaganda said:
All this BS about acting ****y and trying to be Mr. Too Cool, etc.

If you're good looking, it isn't necessary, trust me. It'll make you come off as an ass, and most girls will just think you're not interested in them. Being nice has gotten more panties thrown at me than acting ****y.

The last couple of weeks I decided to try something, different... being nice.

There was this cute girl I made eye contact with at work. I struck up a conversation with her in the elevator. Instead of negging, teasing, etc, I just asked her if she was ready for winter with a smile (we just had a big snowfall) she smiled and said "man summer went by so quick". I replied "Yeah we should book a flight to Hawaii". She laughed. Her floor came and I said "Take it easy we'll see ya around".

The next day she sat at my table in the breakroom and we just talked. Toward the end of the conversation I said "Hey what's your number, let's hang out sometime". She gave me her number and seem flattered. Had 2 great dates so far.

I thought okay, it's one girl.

Then I really tested it. Yesterday at the mall I saw this really cute HB9 looking at clothes. She was holding up this cute little dress. I walked up next to her, grabbed a dress and held it to my body. I said "You think this is my color?" She busted out laughing. I was like "Yeeah, I think it'd look better on you... Actually I just came over here to get your number... did it work?" She read off her number and said "I guess it did" with a smile on her face. Called her today and set up a date.

The advice on this site is geared more towards nerds who don't know what they're doing. It trys to put them on a pedestal and make them feel like the prize. Which is good, and probably gives them confidence. But to the good looking guys, it's unnecessary.

You don't need to be overly confident or ****y. Make HER the prize. Most women will be flattered that a good looking guy is hitting on them.

Don't listen to these people that tell you it'll come off as needy. It's a crock of sh!t.

Use your looks to your advantage.

Your way of being nice here is really different from the "nice" that's 'bad'. You display huge confidence, while being funny and smooth. What you did in that clothing store was somewhat '****y and funny'.

If you were "nice" in the way they talk about here, you would walk up to her and say something like "Wow that dress only makes you more beautiful. You're the most beautiful girl in the world, let me buy all your drinks and it would be an honor to walk aside you". I'm overexaggerating here, but you get my point.

Although I don't really believe in canned tricks and methods, ****y & funny doesn't seem to be being an ass-hole. From what I understand, stuff like negging is for really arrogant girls.

In the end, these tricks works for some. It didn't work for me though, I've been trying them for a while. Being myself without a plan works best for me actually.

DonJuan11 · Dec 7, 2008

Obey Propaganda said:
The last couple of weeks I decided to try something, different... being nice.

There was this cute girl I made eye contact with at work. I struck up a conversation with her in the elevator. Instead of negging, teasing, etc, I just asked her if she was ready for winter with a smile (we just had a big snowfall) she smiled and said "man summer went by so quick". I replied "Yeah we should book a flight to Hawaii".

That is 100% ****y and funny. Being nice would be "Yes it has. What did you do this summer?"

Then I really tested it. Yesterday at the mall I saw this really cute HB9 looking at clothes. She was holding up this cute little dress. I walked up next to her, grabbed a dress and held it to my body. I said "You think this is my color?" She busted out laughing. I was like "Yeeah, I think it'd look better on you... Actually I just came over here to get your number... did it work?" She read off her number and said "I guess it did" with a smile on her face. Called her today and set up a date.

Use your looks to your advantage.

Both examples are 110% ****y and funny. Don't tell people not to do something and then you go ahead and do it yourself.

Duffdog · Dec 7, 2008

"I just came over here to get your number"

Is 100% balls out confidence, not "nice". I use that tag line all the time and yeah it works, how many guys do you know have that much confidence?

T

hondo928 · Dec 7, 2008

I find this post pretty interesting, I was at a party last night after I had already hooked up with one girl, and my friend wanted me to see how many girls I could hook up with, so I started approaching a bunch of girls really strong on the negs, to be honest I think i got blown out more last night then the rest of my life combined.
Another chick I'm sorta friends with starts talking to me, and she's like blah blah I know everyone here. I said well all your friends are blowing me out then, she asked her friend about and she said I was mean to her and that as an attractive guy I just had to be nice, confident and not give a ****. It's really all about confidence IMO.

hondo928 · Dec 7, 2008

Double post

Juan_Man · Dec 7, 2008

We all know that being supplicating can make even a goodlooking guy ugly. It's also important to know that simply being nice isn't always favored. Maybe it depends on the girl but I think it's really all about the challenge. A nice guy is okay in the beginning. But sometimes you have to be a little selfish or otherwise you really do become just another guy, which is boring.

imarockstar · Dec 7, 2008

i agree with obey. i was actually thinking about this earlier. maybe that i come off too strong with the ****y and funny, especially when im drunk. im a good looking guy, but i grew up with a mom and sisters, so i used to be really clingy towards my girlfriends. so as far as just being yourself and only needing yourself, this site has helped me leaps and bounds in that aspect. but yeah, i think if youre a good looking guy, just mix the C+F in lightly, but all you really need is to be nice and confident. my advice is to not overdo the negs, because you come off as arrogant and the girl may think youre not interested. and for gods sakes when you use these negs, make sure youre playful and smiling

Darth · Dec 7, 2008

I think too though, that even the good looking guys have to go through the prick stage first.

The funny part is when we stop after awhile and we just be nice to girls, we get these great results, but I think it is because our idea of what "nice" is has changed.

Poonani Maker · Dec 8, 2008

Darth said:
I think too though, that even the good looking guys have to go through the prick stage first.

The funny part is when we stop after awhile and we just be nice to girls, we get these great results, but I think it is because our idea of what "nice" is has changed.

I'm just honest with a girl. If I don't like something about her, I tell her, either verbally, by my posture, disapproval look, you name it, I'll show her that I don't approve.

f283000 · Dec 8, 2008

1 time a buddy of mine told me that girls liked me cause of my clean cut image and good looks, i didn't need to be an a*hole. I obviously refused to listen because of all the stuff i have read in this forum and from everywhere else.

I decided that this year I would become the ****y/jerk that girls love. I did not get past the 1st date with every girl i went out with this year and my self steam is really low right now. Got struck down just last week with my last date who told me i was all high into myself. All the dates I went out with basically gave me the signals, the eye contacts, smiles, started the conversations, and i made the move as a reaction. They chose me, but because of my personality i turned them off when we actually went out.

I was reminded by a simple fact of life, women are attracted to men. Men are assertive, don't take bs from nobody (specially women themselves and their s___ tests) and have some strong convictions. Women are not attracted by arrogance, they are attracted to c&f but when a good looking nice guy tries to be ****y he comes off as arrogant and she feels she is out of his league. Most girls have low self steam and when you're good looking and you neg em it is different than a average looking guy neggin an hb 9 trying to bring her down to his level. I got all high into the ****y persona that i turned away every girl i went out with.

C&F is fine but really it is a good way for guys with average looks to bring themselves up. When you already got the looks you might come off as arrogant and an a*hole if you use c&f. Instead just try acting like a man, a confident man.

The year is about to end, no gf for the year I f____ up big time with some really nice girls, but you live and learn and rework the strategy for next year.

hondo928 · Dec 8, 2008

f283000 said:
Women are not attracted by arrogance, they are attracted to c&f but when a good looking nice guy tries to be ****y he comes off as arrogant and she feels she is out of his league.

I think that's exactly it, I was dating a girl for three weeks then all of a sudden things stopped, she was insanely confident so I think the CF worked on her, but even in the end maybe that's why it ended I don't know. Girls don't like arrogance, just confidence.

Prodigy746 · Dec 8, 2008

Being too nice to girl is boring for her and she will either cheat on you or LJBF you.

When you actually sleep with these girls that you are talking about than come talk to me. They probobly see you as this nice friend that they can talk to about anything.

Young Juan · Dec 8, 2008

I partially disagree. Yea, being good looking you should tone it down a bit because you start out with a little bit higher value in the woman's eyes, but it really depends on the disposition of the woman and where your talkin your sh!t at.

At a club, I (according to Hot or Not, I was a 8+ circa 2004, and I've only gotten better) start out a bit ****y but I'm also funny and I make chicks laugh when I make fun of em. I tone it down to get to know em, but I never turn it off completely. If they set em up, I knock em down. The hotter the chick, the better this works. I have noticed that with average looking nice girls and/or nice girls, who already may not think they have a chance, I'm nicer to them otherwise they don't even think they have a chance, but being nice is boring. Even the average looking girls that are confident with themselves, love to be made fun.

Average lookin girls get approached more than hot girls, as most dudes don't even think they have a shot with the hot chicks (out of my league syndrome), so these average (at best) looking chicks have inflated egos.

Duffdog · Dec 9, 2008

Average lookin girls get approached more than hot girls, as most dudes don't even think they have a shot with the hot chicks (out of my league syndrome), so these average (at best) looking chicks have inflated egos.

You noticed that too. I had an interesting time on friday with a set of two 9's that were smoking hot. They were leaving a club by themselves with nobody talking to them while most of the avg. chics were being hounded. So, being the brave soul that I am-- called them out and chatted them up in the middle of the street. It is very interesting to see two super hot blondes with fake boobs just waiting for someone to make a move. Granted there were probably 80 people watching me hit on this pair of girls, which may have made them more into it. But, earlier that night, I got dissed by about 5 pairs 6-7 range chics. Now that sort of pisses me off, considering the two 9+ girls were open to whatever the hell I wanted to do or go with them...they were even asking me what landmarks to look for in my directions so that they could come over that night. But all sorts of average chics were being pulled away from me as if I was hideous or something that very same night. WTF!

Not only that, I wasn't nice. I was the loudmouthed guy yelling at the two 9's from the curb. Not easygoing at all-- I wasn't mean however, just over the top confident. Then, before I could do anything with them--- I got a DUI and woke up in jail. yay.

If you're good looking, be NICE!

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