Unemployment - depression - phobia - alcoholism

I have been largely unemployed since I left university 2 years ago. For some reason I cannot bring myself to look for work. I think I have some kind of phobia about it. I know I will sound like a lazy sonofa***** and yes, I am, but that is not all there is to this. You see, I hate the idea of working a job that I hate, but dont hate the idea of work in general. The problem is that I dont know what sort of work i might like. All the jobs I have had in the past have been horrendous and I have worked with some psycho bosses that have given me a hard time.

When I think about getting a job all sorts of stuff comes into my mind - mostly that i'll be stuck in a situation that I can't get out of. I think about a 'career' that is nonexistent, I think of long laborious days of shiit for very little pay, that I will then spend on beer because my day has been so shiit. I think about all my dreams of being anything in life been squashed by the world and any shred of optimism I have left being washed away.

I think of being controlled by others. I think of being exploited and generally a lot more unhappy than I am right now...because this is what it has always been like for me in a job.

I think of the quiet tired and shy person i become in a job because i am an insomniac and i never get enough sleep, so im always tired, which means i dont relate to people well, and therefore they start thinking im weird. I think of spending all evening in bed when i get home because i am so tired, and then being a slave to my shiit job because all i do is that, and try and sleep.

I think of my alcohol problem and how I dont feel as if i can talk to people properly without it.

This all comes to my mind when I think of getting a job and my brain overloads and I just get depressed.

I am writing this because my dad just told me that when my brother gets back from uni they are going to go to a neutral public place and talk to me about my unemployment. I am left thinking 'wow, my own family has talks behind my back, plots something like this - after 2 years they feel like they want to offer some help, why can't they just talk to me direct?' They are probably trying to help, but to have this kind of 'intervention' seems a bit sick to me, why plot like this? Why treat me like im some kind of freak?

Another thing that I feel I should add is that I don't see the point of working a job your whole life in order to pay off a mortgage and be tied to credit card bills etc. I am not interested in material wealth and things, I am interested in happiness, and I dont think that this will be gained by working the same job for years, in one place, marrying possibly the wrong woman and working forever in a shiit job to pay for my unthankful children. I actually hate the idea of this.

I just wanted to get you guys opinions on this, perhaps somebody knows what i'm talking about. I feel pretty messed up right now.

I also use alcohol to hide from things because i am a very emotional person, and put on the spot, like they are proposing to do will most likely end up with me in an uncontrollable fit of tears. This is how i get when I am put on the spot like they are planning to do. It is situations like this that I like to be heavily sedated with alcohol for. And given the chance I will be for this.

Mr. F, you got your priorities and your fears all fvcked up.
Simply put, all your beliefs are fvcked , and do not serve you other than put you out of the game of life.
You are cheating yourself, and forcing your family to strain their obligations to support you to the limit. In essence, you are abusing them.
You are a lazy bum, who is an alcoholic, who cant deal with the common every day pressures of life...and that is fvcked up.

You are going the wrong way.

I know its not what you want to see, but you are clearly, very very wrong about everything.

You must deal with your alcoholism.
You must involve your family.

You must go back to school, and finish and get a degree in a subject that inspires you.

You must get a part time job somewhere, that is at least slightly interesting to you.
You must get off your ass and stop being a couch potato , freeloader.

End of story.

Dont be a lazy, un ambitious, weak willed, scared, good for nothing, alcoholic, freeloader.

You are more than that.
Your family deserves more respect and acknowledgement than that.
You do a disservice to you and everyone else by taking your current route.

If you dont change now, of your own volition, you are likely to experience severe emotional trauma from your family imposing their decisions ON YOU.
If you dont decide, other people will. Its the way the world works.
If you dont take charge, people will take charge of you, and they dont care about your feelings or if its not particularly agreeable to you.
They dont give a damn.

Are you positive you want to go down this road?

If you cant handle at least basic, daily pressure of school, work, family, children, bills, mortgages, groceries, medical vistis, daily management, obligations and responsibilities, you are headed for a very rude awakening, and a very sorry, miserable life. You dont have the luxury. YOu think you do. Because of your parents cushion and support. But that WILL run out one day.
Think carefully.
The time you waste you never get back.
Imagine yourself, like this, at 60......

It sounds like you are almost traumatized from past crappy jobs, or maybe suffering from post trumatic stress from them. The thing is there are a lot of bad jobs out there and psycho co-workers and bosses, but there are some decent ones out there too. You have your degree now so you should be able to get a better job. What was your degree in?

The thing is the best way to get over a bad past is to experience a new positive experience. I think you should just push yourself and apply for jobs you think might be good. Try to expect the best and go into it with as positive attitude as possible. If you don't like the job, you can quit it at any time. As long as you don't buy things on credit until you're sure you want to stay working there, you really don't have anything to lose over being unemployed. I think if you do this you might find a job that isn't so bad and when you start getting a decent paycheck coming in you'll feel better.

You might have other issues going on, but you really should first tackle this employment phobia head on. The longer you wait the deeper the whole you are going to be in.

Did you quit school or graduate? I have done both. I had a lot more options after graduating. If you quit school, going back in some way might get your family off your back. Lots of people don't know that they want to do with their life. That's why there are Master's Degrees.

I can't empathize with guys like these anymore. Worrying about and having emotional reactions to crap that's fabricated in their own heads. He's worried about being a corporate sheep and rationalizing nonsense reasons for his inaction. Meanwhile he's never even experienced the corporate world and has all the time in the world to think up reasons to not get a job. It's retarded. It's the same thought pattern as that CapedCrusader guy who keeps posting his stream of consciousness about why he can't score with women and how it makes him feel. meanwhile the guy never takes action

One of the best concepts from the Blueprint is that depression is a luxury. The guy's all depressed about job hunting and sht like that because he actually has the TIME to overthink himself into depression. Meanwhile the guys that are out there working because they need to put food on the table and feed their kids and pay their rent don't have time to be depressed. They man up and do what needs to be done because they got no choice. They don't have their parents paying their bills and granting them the luxury of thinking themselves into a rut

so your dad is gonna "talk" to you about job hunting. big deal. tell him if he wants to speed up the process, he should throw your ass on the street. you'll be surprised how quickly you get over your self-induced depression when your own livelihood hinges on getting a job

overanalysis leads to paralysis. stop thinking and do something

Mr. Fantastic, have you thought of alternate solutions to working? Can you go back to school and live off student loans? Or can you claim disability or something?

There's nothing fundamentally wrong with not working, but you have to pay the bills somehow. Society says you can't kill yourself, and you'd have your family's grief on your back. So find a way to make some money.

I've enrolled in an online school so I don't have to wake up early or shave or anything, I also save a ton of money on transportation, food and clothing! You may be able to extend your student status and grants by taking new programs or post-grad or something.

ready123 said:

I can't empathize with guys like these anymore. Worrying about and having emotional reactions to crap that's fabricated in their own heads. He's worried about being a corporate sheep and rationalizing nonsense reasons for his inaction. Meanwhile he's never even experienced the corporate world and has all the time in the world to think up reasons to not get a job. It's retarded. It's the same thought pattern as that CapedCrusader guy who keeps posting his stream of consciousness about why he can't score with women and how it makes him feel. meanwhile the guy never takes action

One of the best concepts from the Blueprint is that depression is a luxury. The guy's all depressed about job hunting and sht like that because he actually has the TIME to overthink himself into depression. Meanwhile the guys that are out there working because they need to put food on the table and feed their kids and pay their rent don't have time to be depressed. They man up and do what needs to be done because they got no choice. They don't have their parents paying their bills and granting them the luxury of thinking themselves into a rut

so your dad is gonna "talk" to you about job hunting. big deal. tell him if he wants to speed up the process, he should throw your ass on the street. you'll be surprised how quickly you get over your self-induced depression when your own livelihood hinges on getting a job

overanalysis leads to paralysis. stop thinking and do something

Click to expand...

you're so stupid, why would anybody choose to be depressed, or mentally ill, or incompetent? Take a neurology class or something.

And what kind of solution is that - work all day and night so you don't have time to be depressed? Better yet, why not just move to a 3rd-world country? By begging on the streets and running from corrupt police all day, you'll be too malnourished and tired to be depressed! I SEE that kind of life in Serbia, it's nothing to be proud of.

The higher classes WANT you to be so pre-occupied with survival that you never consider means of moving up in society, or finding an alternative lifestyle. North Americans live to work. If they stop working, they're broke within the month. Society encourages consumerism and a paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle. That's why there are factories full of dopes who've been working there forever, they have no time to think and no concept of alternatives. The rich want you to stay busy and poor, they don't want you to start considering the realities of life, and the exact reason why you work so hard. Ever heard of false consciousness? Ever heard of Communism?

If you don't know what you're talking about, don't say anything.

6-heads lewis said:

you're so stupid, why would anybody choose to be depressed, or mentally ill, or incompetent? Take a neurology class or something.

And what kind of solution is that - work all day and night so you don't have time to be depressed? Better yet, why not just move to a 3rd-world country? By begging on the streets and running from corrupt police all day, you'll be too malnourished and tired to be depressed! I SEE that kind of life in Serbia, it's nothing to be proud of.

The higher classes WANT you to be so pre-occupied with survival that you never consider means of moving up in society, or finding an alternative lifestyle. North Americans live to work. If they stop working, they're broke within the month. Society encourages consumerism and a paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle. That's why there are factories full of dopes who've been working there forever, they have no time to think and no concept of alternatives. The rich want you to stay busy and poor, they don't want you to start considering the realities of life, and the exact reason why you work so hard. Ever heard of false consciousness? Ever heard of Communism?

If you don't know what you're talking about, don't say anything.

Click to expand...

Thanks for misinterpreting my post you fvckin idiot. I like how your advice to him is to keep avoiding what he's afraid of for as long as he can, that shows where your head's at

Being able to GLOAT is a luxury. Being able to post emotionally reactive nonsense on the internet about how depressed you are because no job is for you while totally passing on responsibility for your livelihood to your parents is a luxury. It's only when you have all the time in the world to think about this sht that it actually affects you. And this is not clinical depression, so I don't know why I have to take a neurology class. This is bullsht that happens when you waste time overthinking yourself into a rut

All this guy needs to do is take responsibility for his well-being and actually start job hunting instead of thinking about it and most of his psychological problems will go away

And this has nothing to do with bad financial habits or consumerism or the other unrelated sht you mentioned. It has everything to do with manning up and taking action

It's pathetic to me when guys are aware they don't know what to do with their lives but REFUSE to put themselves in the kinds of situations that will actually lead toward self-actualization. Instead they just gloat all day, do drugs, look at porn, etc and 2 years later, they still don't know what to do with their lives. Then what happens is they eventually get kicked out of their house or the family member supporting them dies and that's the catalyst that forces them to face reality. Either that or they join the military in their late 20's

Working manufacturing and sht like that that you're so afraid of because you don't wanna be a sheep - I've done all that and it only led me toward a better understanding of what I want out of life. I would've rather done that for a year and gained some reference experience than stayed at home *****ing and whining going nowhere