First Date tips

A couple days ago, a girl I know a little bit caught my attention on my walk between classes, hugged me, and stopped to talk for a few minutes before I had to go to class.

We had kept in touch over the summer via e-mail...this began when she e-mailed me asking for my number because she "forgot it." I didn't think anything of it (I figured it was sent to multiple people - I met her once at a party for about two minutes), but somehow we ended up e-mailing each other for over a month. I have only hung out with her once at school, and that was at the beginning of the year. The guy/girl ratio was horrific, it was hard to really "be myself." Considering this a lost cause (I had asked her once or twice to hang out, she had obligations and nothing ever materialized), I moved on, didn't really speak with her for over a month since there was no reason to.

Fast forward to the other day. I know for a fact we had crossed paths within the month and nothing happened - at most was a quick hi while we kept moving, and a lot of the time nothing happened. Now, she was all excited to see me?? hmm...

I decided that for better or for worse, I had to do something. A couple days later (yesterday), I gave her a call and told her an idea I had in mind of where we can go out and do something. To my surprise, she said YES!! Today, I finalized those plans, telling her when and where to meet. However, I cannot assume anything until I actually see her there...if she flakes, it's going to hurt atleast a little (she'd also be automatically next-ed).

Now the part I really need your help with...what are some tips you can provide for a first date - it's at a bowling alley where they serve some food too? I haven't been on a "real" date in a very, very long time and need all the insight I can get. I believe the thing that worries me most is that she's quite attractive (HB9) and a great person, meaning she's probably been on plenty of dates. Meanwhile, I haven't been in a relationship (nor a "quick fix"), and there is no margin for error or rookie blunders here.

ah, so everyone is able to give good advice here yet without having ever been on a first date

I'm just playin', but I do need a couple pointers. I know some of this stuff is in the Bible, but I'm looking for some advice from you guys. Some topics I can throw out to here:

-How to get the kino rolling...we already hug, so that's a start. However, I' like to somehow do things like a gentle arm touch or w/e without it seeming forced.
-I feel confident in my conversation abilities, but are there any specific "surefire" topics you personally know of that work and are fun (aside from things such as "how are your classes" and "how many siblings do you have"?

There are definitely other things that you're free to provide insight on (i.e. going for the kiss at the end of the date if all goes well). As I mentioned eariler, my looming worry is the fact she's had to have been on many dates (she is gorgeous with the personality to match) while I'm reatively new, and the rookie mistakes will not fly - I need to be on my "A" game. I also do not know her really well, but I guess that's a good thing in the sense that it give me more to find out about her.

Get a good nights sleep. Don't go out on a date when you are tired/feeling like crap because it affects everything. You'll say stupid sh!t, fail to observe certain things, etc.

guywhoneedshelp said:

Get a good nights sleep. Don't go out on a date when you are tired/feeling like crap because it affects everything. You'll say stupid sh!t, fail to observe certain things, etc.

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Fantastic piece of advice right there. Thank you!

The Comeback Kid said:

-How to get the kino rolling...we already hug, so that's a start. However, I' like to somehow do things like a gentle arm touch or w/e without it seeming forced.

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my tip for this is everytime i meet someone new I say "hi, my name is ___, what's yours" then i say "nice meeting you" (then i put my arm on shoulder for 2 seconds, take away). If I tease her I immediately put my arm on her shoulder and give her a smile, or when I make a joke i put my arm around her, release. So if you are worried about kino and you aint a natural at putting your hands on a woman just do it in situations where it just would seem like a natural thing to do (jokes, light teasing, fun moments). It only makes you creepy if you did it after a long period of silence/dull moment and she saw it coming from a mile away. It needs to be fast and spontaneous and you don't have to keep your hand on her too long (just a few secs is good).

-I feel confident in my conversation abilities, but are there any specific "surefire" topics you personally know of that work and are fun (aside from things such as "how are your classes" and "how many siblings do you have"?

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1. google/wikipedia are your friends: instead of the usual subjects just read those sites and find interesting facts. When you can spout interesting facts to a girl, not 1, but 2, 3, or more,you are the one becoming interesting, not just the facts.

"did you know the mayans besides doing this and that also." Just whatever interesting facts you can find about stuff, and just make sentences of them that would spark a conversation.

2. random subjects/questions: very important, you need to get her laughing and thinking about sex. Ask her random questions that will make her laugh. Here is a good one that does both get her laughing and thinking about sex.

"would you ever have sex with a ghost"? (totally unpredictable, fun question)

haha I like that ghost ?

Get some sleep before hand.
Rub one out if your nervous...
I personally like to listen to some music right before hand

The advice the other posters have given you is good.

Your date idea is good too: kino and conversation all flow much easier on a date like the one you've chosen rather than something like a coffee date.

In my experience, you're probably best suited to making conversation around the actual bowling while it's going on. It gives you plenty of opportunities to have fun. Joke about how it's a serious competition and she won't get a second date with you if she sucks. Or tell her that if she's a bad sport you're taking her home without any food. All the while with a smile on your face.

If she rolls a gutter ball, take the opportunity to squeeze her shoulder and tell her to not be too hard on herself. Go and grab the guide frame and place it in front of her with a laugh. If you roll a gutter-ball, go and get it and put it in front of yourself with a smile. If she's a "great person" as you say, she'll get into it as well and start biting back with her own banter.

Watch some youtube videos on bowling. I bet there is all sorts of funny videos, and you could use the content of those to make conversation over food. You could talk about how you saw "blah blah" and it was so hilarious. Don't talk about bowling all night though. Start chucking in some different questions. Ask her what she'd want to be if there was no chance of failure. Tell her what you would want to be in a similar situation. Tell her a cheesy bar joke. Ask her to come up with one, and if you don't laugh "she has to pay for dessert." Whatever. If she's giggling like a school-girl/generally loving it, put sauce on your finger then reach over and wipe it on her face. Just the other day I did that on a date. The gal I was with promptly grabbed some gaucamole and put it on my moustache. I just stared at her and told her I wasn't taking it off. Then I started asking people next to me who they thought was better looking, while I had it on my face still. She was loving it. Hum a song then ask her to guess what it is.

Don't worry yourself about the kiss. If you get her used to close physical proximity, the kiss will come when it comes. That date, the next, whenever. I frequently don't kiss until the third date. But almost always, if I kiss them - we're heading to bed that very night.

Fun fun fun.

Let us know how it goes.

Zooey

Thanks for the advice. I'm going to be a little nervous going in simply because I don't know what to expect :nervous: . That's why I feel it is very important that I come prepared.

Guywhoneedshelp - Gret tip, a very underrated one too. I'll definitely keep it in mind tonight.

f283000 - I agree that good times for kino are after a joke or something spontaneous. I have an "off the cuff" sense of humor, which is either hit or miss depending on who I'm talking to. Hopefully it's a "hit" with this girl. For the conversation part, I'll look up questions. I have a worldly sense of knowledge - I read the newspaper and such - so the tougher part will be asking a variety of questions. The ghost question is funny, I'm just not sure I can pull that one off real smoothly. But I get what you mean. Do you have any other examples of that type of question?

Zooey - Yep, I like bowling as a first date. There isn't enough talking during a movie and too much talking at a resturaunt (for a first date). A friend and I are going to scout out the area beforehand, just so I know what the area looks like, where everything is, and if there is a nearby ice cream place on the walk back. I can definitely play the "playful competetion" card with the bowling, and make fun of her if she gutter balls (or "console" her as you say, which shows some kino). I'm also thinking of using nicknames for our names on the screen, just to make things fun.

I like the theme of your post, but there are a couple questions/restraints I have. First, what's a guide frame? The sauce idea ou speak of could work, but it's not something I'm really used to, and if she doesn't catch on I'm in trouble lol.

..............................................................................................

I really like everybody's input so far. As I mentioned before, there will be some jitters, I'm relatively new to this and it's not like I know this girl REALLY well. My goal is to loosen things up, have some fun and some laughs. However, I also need to keep things a little "safe" and not do/say anything dumb. I also cannot lose my composure (I ride on momentum...one bad snag and that could spell trouble).

Sorry, a guide frame is one of those things little kids use where they put the bowling ball on this metal frame and it rolls down... I don't know the exact name. Yeah if the sauce thing isn't your kind of deal, don't worry about it. To me, you could look at that, and any other fun kind of thing (trying to throw lollies/grapes/whatever in each other's mouths etc) as a way to ease to keep it fun. Nothing worse than looking like you're trying REALLY hard to eat nicely and mind your p's and q's.

As far as wanting something safe to say or fall back on, every girl is different. By playing a game you'll get an idea of how she rolls. As long as you don't start talking about trigonometry or how you've always wanted to kill someone, I think you'll be fine. As long as you're having fun, she will too. She wants to have fun on the date too remember. And if she doesn't then get out of there pronto! If you're projecting a fun attitude you don't really have to worry what exactly you're saying. Lulls in conversation are normal. That's why bowling is perfect. Any silence you want to break can be done so by you furrowing your brow and "perfecting your strategy."

My first dates are usually a game of mini-putt, followed by an ice-cream (if they're good) and then a quick walk on the beach (if they're really good). Usually I tell them this at the beginning. "If you behave yourself we'll get an ice-cream. If you're extra fun - you'll get a walk on the beach too. Otherwise I'm driving you straight back home. Girls always get into this and do their best to be extra good/fun. You should see how proud they are if they get that ice-cream. You could do something like that with bowling. Tell her if she's extra fine that you'll both go and get ice-cream after. She'll be trying for that treat no doubt.

Zooey.

ps I ramble a lot. I'm working on it.

"I also cannot lose my composure (I ride on momentum...one bad snag and that could spell trouble)."

I feel like you are similar enough to me that I feel qualified to comment....

1. Don't take yourself seriously. Keep it light.

2. Get good rest at least the 2 nights before the date. Like other people said, this makes so much difference. On not enough sleep, I'll miss so many things and say all kinds of stupid stuff because my brain isn't on at full power. So, big one.

3. I think while Zooey's advice works great for a lot of people, I would never do the sauce thing or the ghost thing. It's not my style, and it just wouldn't work... for me. Maybe it would for you. But use your own good judgement, and try to stay away from planned lines.

4. Find any excuse you can to touch her and flirt. And then just play it by ear depending on how she responds.

One thing i do usually is to think to myself "i dont really mind going out with her" instead of "i really want to go out with her." That might sound ridiculous but it really helps me.

Keep it simple and just go with the flow of things. Bowling is perfect for introducing touch without it seeming to forced.

Laugh.. smile.. and just have a good time. Kino.. I use kino at first when I push her away. Or walking w/ her.. push her into stuff.. "Ohh watch out for that "

Another thing.. you can take her out to play pool.. teach her to play.. you can talk.. and distract her when she shoots.. smack her ass (once you kino enough).... play fully distract her.... Poke her when she shoots.. ect

Take her to play mini golf... knock her ball off the course... use your ball to knock her ball away from the hole.... throw her ball in the water when she's not looking ect.

Make her feel safe. When walking stand on the outside of the road. ect