What about the "Booty Call" Damages

I've been a man's "bootys call" for 3 years! I wasn't told of our arrangement until 1 year into the relationship when my feelings were involved and I was in love. It's hard to just walk away from someone you love. I was the supposedly "lucky one" three years ago when my guy decided to pick me to be his next victim. 3 years of emotional abuse from a man who is afraid of emotional closeness and believing that he would get better with his counseling! I am bearing this emotional rollarcoaster because of his hurt of a past love and ongoing battle with child support and custody issues. A part of me feels sad for him, missing out on really caring anymore out of fear of being hurt. How long are "booty calls" suppose to last? It's inconceiveable to me to believe that after 3 years it's nothing more than just sex. Sure we have great sex but we could be happier if he allowed us to grow into something more than just our great hot sex life, yet another part of me hates him for being so ****ed up! I admit I call him for sex too but I miss him and want to spend time with him as well - my sex drive is higher than his so his plan may have backfired a bit with the exception of my emotions and the hole that remains in me unfulfilled from lack of emotional fulfillment. All you "Don Juans' who think you're all that because you have a big **** or are a "pretty boy" grow -up! Your site is telling people how to make your "booty calls"! How sick is that... are you another broken heart afraid to love again? Love hurts -it makes your vulnerable -that's life, but it can also be wonderful. I understand that men are more physical and can separate their emotions but woman have feelings - we don't have a switch to control our emotions and sex is an emotional, bonding experience for most of us. I've never been treated so poorly, nor put up with the crap I have with him and it's beat my self-esteem down to nil. I am smart & beautiful and I have never been dumped by anyone in my life but the more I read on your site the more pissed off I get. It sounds like it was written by him! I don't know how much longer I will remain just a booty call but after 3 years it won't be long before I stop "talking" about my needs and just kiss his ass good-bye when my love turns to hate -because that's all a "booty call" will ultimately result in - is that what all you Don Juans want... will that make you "feel" good!

Oh shoosh up,you love it.

it gives me hope that if girls can stand being treated like **** and still be around, it cant be too hard for us moral guys to get with one

You have your nerve. It's because of dumb chicks like you that this site is even exists. Instead of blaming us for trying to improve our lives, why don't you focus on improving yours and finding somebody who can give you what you want in a relationship.

I confess, I'm guilty.

I broke contact completely after about 5 month when I finally realized that she couldn't handle it, just like you. And I confess, I actually should have done that way earlier. I believe it was my responsibility to do it and I do not want to do that again (so late).

But I have some questions for YOU:

You say the sex is great (like... awesome). Why can you just not take it for what he can offer you?
Or if you are not able to do so, why do you blame HIM (as selfish as he may be) for the situation instead of taking responsibility YOURSELF and ending it.

I mean 3 YEARS. Come on... This is not only his fault.
You can't always get what you want, darling.

Stop whining.

It took you three years to realize he just wanted sex? Face it, this guy made you wet, and that's why you stuck around. Just like every other human being, you want what feels good, and it turns out his junk in your trunk was good enough to compensate for him not giving a fvck.

I think the sad part is that you blame this on him, or this site. You aren't in control of your life; you gave it up to this guy a long time ago. Take responsibility and try to improve yourself, that's what this site espouses.

Why do you like him or love him then? Man the biggest turning point in my life was when i realized that women don't get it at all. They will ****ing complain about a jerk, but not realize that they wouldn't give a great person with little game a chance in hell. If you want the cycle to stop then you as women need to change.

Most of the ideals on this site were created because they work. They work on women. If they didn't work, and women went after the good afc men, who are very decent men who would love the **** out of you, then their would be no problems. Instead they want to come up here and ***** about their own issues.

You need to be the change you want to see in the world -Ghandi

Oh shoosh up,you love it.

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Agreed

I agree to Pathgen. Only 18...

But: There are different views on this site. PUA vs. DJ.

My impression is that this site actually helps some afc guys to become (more) successfull with women. To become a jerk, a PUA, call it what you like.

And it helps a few to become a DJ, or an actual mature man. The way from AFC to DJ/man seems to necessarily lead through the jerk/PUA-stage.

A mature man wouldn't do that anymore, I believe. Why should he?

Go to church. Be a good girl and date moral men who may not f*ck with your emotions the way you want it, but will be true to you. Or shut the f*ck up. You like the jerk because you can't have the jerk's love, so live with it.

I actually suppose that she liked to be ravaged, passionately, (almost) unrestrictedly used by the guy. He probably simply took what he wanted and that was her. A feeling quite compelling to many (all ?) women, as long as some level of consensuality is present. Otherwise it would be a disgusting crime, of course.

And of course, all these dirty fantasies turned into reality without her having to actively admitting and pursuing them. That would feel so slvtty.

Blue08, glad you posted, and I'm very curious of your reply. There is one, is there?

You did not only come here to complain and vent your anger - or did you ?


Edit: Which would prove all those guys right which are very pessimistic about women...

I'm glad to have some imput from some guys about this - and I do understand my part in my mess. I didn't go into this situation aware of "his issues" and I fell in love before the rules changed to what he calls "just ***king" because he says he can't give me what I need (emotionally). I believe people can change and hearts can be healed - that's why I've put up with it. Yes - in many ways i am a dumb**s - too trusting and naive maybe for wanting to be there for him. Our relationship is complicated to say the least and I've been there for him through alot. And yes the sex is great, that's what's kept us together but after 3 yrs. how can a man not have feelings? Or at least not admit to them - that's what I can't take and what hurts.

No feelings is, I believe, unrealistic.

He might have issues, but maybe the simple (and hurting) truth is that he just does not want more of a relationship with you. Oouch...

As far as dumb chicks "like me" - it was because of some other dumb chick that screwed him up w/child involved - he can't seem to get over that because of being in and out of court for the past 5 years - and we're not kids here- we're in our 40's. I'm not a dumb chick - I'm trying not to be another dumb chick who burns him and walks away because he can't trust anymore.

( . )( . ) said:

Oh shoosh up,you love it.

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:crackup:


Fellow DJ's this post just confirms what we already know. But lets dig in shell we.

Warning: Blue08 I may suggest for you to not read beyond this sentence because you are not going to like what I am going to say which boils down to the hard cold facts. But since women don't listen anyway be my guest:

blue08 said:

I've been a man's "bootys call" for 3 years! I wasn't told of our arrangement until 1 year into the relationship when my feelings were involved and I was in love.

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So basically he calls you for sex and you answered "yes please", that arrangment was given. Why would he want to change that now?! You knew what you were when you got yourself into this situation and you decided to stick around.

blue08 said:

It's hard to just walk away from someone you love. I was the supposedly "lucky one" three years ago when my guy decided to pick me to be his next victim.

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Bullsh1t. Why are you a victim?? do you even know what the word victim is?!! You just throw that word around to make people feel sorry for you. You are not a victim, you always had the choice to walk away and you didn't. You are just hostage to your own irrational emotions.

blue08 said:

3 years of emotional abuse from a man who is afraid of emotional closeness and believing that he would get better with his counseling! I am bearing this emotional rollarcoaster because of his hurt of a past love and ongoing battle with child support and custody issues.

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Emotional abuse??! wtf is that?! was he yelling and screaming at you?! you weren't married you could have walked away but you didn't. It sounds like you need the counseling because you are blaming your own emotional disress on this man. We are all responsible to how we feel inside and if we don't do something about it then were are victims of our own demise. Looks like somebody has been watching Dr Phil in their spare own time!

blue08 said:

How long are "booty calls" suppose to last? It's inconceiveable to me to believe that after 3 years it's nothing more than just sex. .

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There is no time limits for a booty call. He calls you for sex and you came. If you didn't like the arrangment you could have always walked away but you didn't. Yes after 3 years it was probably nothing more then sex. He was happy with this arrangment.

blue08 said:

Sure we have great sex but we could be happier if he allowed us to grow into something more than just our great hot sex life, yet another part of me hates him for being so ****ed up!.

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No its you who would be more happier if he wanted to get into a more serious relationship. You are just projecting your own feelings and societie's own morals on him. You don't really hate him otherwise you wouldn't keep on fvcking him.

blue08 said:

I admit I call him for sex too but I miss him and want to spend time with him as well - my sex drive is higher than his so his plan may have backfired a bit with the exception of my emotions and the hole that remains in me unfulfilled from lack of emotional fulfillment.

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ohhh here comes the tearworks boo hoo hoo. He never had any plan. He just wanted to fvck you, get it through your skull. He never had any ulterior motives but fvcking you. You loved the sex and he loved the sex, end of story. Once again you had the option of walking away but you didn't.

blue08 said:

All you "Don Juans' who think you're all that because you have a big **** or are a "pretty boy" grow -up! Your site is telling people how to make your "booty calls"!

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Yes we do we think we are all that, that is the difference between a Don Juan and an AFC. The majority of men who came to this site started off as AFC's (Average Frustrated Chump's) because they got sick and tired of being the good spineless nitwits who try to mold themsleves to the kind of men you women claim us to want but then run and fvck the other men who have game. If your man was the lovey dovey type you wanted him to be from the begining you wouldn't have fvcked him for 3 stright years. You would probably have got bored with him and then chase another guy who probably wouldn't really pay much attention to you as you would have liked.

blue08 said:

How sick is that... are you another broken heart afraid to love again? Love hurts -it makes your vulnerable -that's life, but it can also be wonderful.

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No. AFC's are the one with broken hearts that chase women around who couldn't give a flying fvck about them. Love doesn't have to hurt if you know what you are doing and responsible for your own emotions.

blue08 said:

I understand that men are more physical and can separate their emotions but woman have feelings -we don't have a switch to control our emotions and sex is an emotional, bonding experience for most of us.

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You don't know much about men do you??!! Men are also emotional but they don't cry and pout like a woman. Please stop using quotes from a movie such as Vanilla sky, and don't purposely crash your car (with your man in it) at high speeds off a bridge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTw2Uy5TL3c

blue08 said:

I am smart & beautiful and I have never been dumped by anyone in my life but the more I read on your site the more pissed off I get. It sounds like it was written by him!

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So don't read this site, there are millions of other sites like loveshack that will cater to your whims.

blue08 said:

I don't know how much longer I will remain just a booty call but after 3 years it won't be long before I stop "talking" about my needs and just kiss his ass good-bye when my love turns to hate -because that's all a "booty call" will ultimately result in - is that what all you Don Juans want... will that make you "feel" good!

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You won't leave him, until you have found somebody better. That is what you women do best.

The bottom line is that with women, actions speaks louder then words. Your actions were that you were sleeping him for 3 years as a booty call and nothing else. I hardly doubt your man post at this site because it doesn't seem like he has any problems getting between your legs without sweating it and coming back for more.

Don't you for one second badmouth the community here that has helped so many people, including myself, become something greater.

This site is not about one night stands, booty calls, or anything like that.

It is about improvement. How to get women is one of the things taught here, but if you actually bothered to read around before posting you'd realize that the main focus is to be yourself, take what you have always deserved, and work towards your goals in life. To constantly be improving yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Stop making assumptions. When you clean up your post then I will give you a proper response.

DJDamage: Congrats on a extraordinary sharp analysis. I particularly liked 3 points:

-self-proclaimed "victim"-status to his "plans" while never saying no
-projection of "what would make us happy"
-wouldn't have gone for "nice" AFC, who wouldn't have done what I described earlier.

and possibly (!) not leaving before some other shows up, but still complaining.


Plus: I would add (or did you say that, too): HE probably didn't know that SHE changed (yes YOU) the rules of your game until one year into it. When she decided that it has to be more. What should the poor guy do then?

Plus: I loved the link to the movie-scene as extreme example of the latter point.


BUT: There is something like emotional abuse, even if the term maybe strongly inappropriate. I don't know.

If you stay 2 more years with a gal which keeps bytching about wanting to see you more, not only sex etc.. and you just give a fvck just as a professional pimp then I believe it is some form of abuse, as a sperm-dump. Because you don't give a **** about her. That would be a prick, not a DJ.

Giving a **** about other people is not mature stuff, it's narcissitic. It can be quite "successfull", though.


Edit: DJDamage did the point of her wanting to change the rules.

loving said:

it gives me hope that if girls can stand being treated like **** and still be around, it cant be too hard for us moral guys to get with one

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A) this girl wasn't treated like sh1t. Once again look at her action's. A woman who is treated like sh1t would not claim to have high sex drive for her man and jump in his bed whenever he extended the invite.

B) You don't want a girl that can stand treated like sh1t. You want a girl that stands up for herself and have some healthy self esteem and does not become a blabbering mess if things don't go her way.

C) What does constitute a moral guy??!! be careful with words. You don't know her man, why would you refer to him as an immoral guy??!! Its not like he threw a puppy from a cliff. All he did was have carefree sex with her without being in an exclusive relationship with her. I fail to see the immoral aspect of it since he never promised her anything.

DJDamage said:

A) this girl wasn't treated like sh1t. Once again look at her action's. A woman who is treated like sh1t would not claim to have high sex drive for her man and jump in his bed whenever he extended the invite.

Quote blue08: "I've never been treated so poorly, nor put up with the crap I have with him and it's beat my self-esteem down to nil. I am smart & beautiful and I have never been dumped by anyone in my life but the more I read on your site the more pissed off I get. It sounds like it was written by him! I don't know how much longer I will remain just a booty call but after 3 years it won't be long before I stop "talking" about my needs and just kiss his ass good-bye when my love turns to hate -because that's all a "booty call" will ultimately result in - is that what all you Don Juans want... will that make you "feel" good!" -End quote

I guess you are right, I misspoke. What I meant to say that it gives me hope that I don't have to be perfect for girls to like me

B) You don't want a girl that can stand treated like sh1t. You want a girl that stands up for herself and have some healthy self esteem and does not become a blabbering mess if things don't go her way.

No, I don't.. Then again maybe I do, I haven't met her yet, but my ideals were getting in the way of seeing that women aren't too expensive for my wallet - metaphorically speaking.

C) What does constitute a moral guy??!! be careful with words. You don't know her man, why would you refer to him as an immoral guy??!! Its not like he threw a puppy from a cliff. All he did was have carefree sex with her without being in an exclusive relationship with her. I fail to see the immoral aspect of it since he never promised her anything.
again you are right. I did mis-represent my thoughts

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Onelove

It's not that he's incapable of falling in love or doesn't want to get hurt, it's that he doesn't feel that way about you. You're a semen-dispenser to him and have given him no reason to think otherwise. You can't just turn on the switch out of the blue (pun intended) and want him to respect you and have feelings for you. Would you have respect for your maid if she came to you three years after working for you and wanted to hang out with you?

^Good Post.

To the OP, you must find what you want in others first in yourself. All else will follow