On Failures!

Let's start off with this excellent video that I refer back to from time to time (transcript posted for emphasis):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6hz_s2XIAU

Dismissed from drama school because with a note that read, "Wasting her time, she's too shy to put her best foot forward." (Lucille Ball)

Turned down by the recording company who said, "We don't like their sound and guitar music is on the way out." (The Beatles)

A failed soldier, a farmer, and a real estate agent at 38 years old went to work for his father as a handyman. (Ulysses S. Grant)

Cut from the high school basketball team, he went home, locked himself in his room and cried. (Michael Jordan)

A teacher who told him he is too stupid to learn anything and he should go into a field where he might succeed by the virtue of his pleasant personality. (Thomas Edison)

Fired from a newspaper because he lacked "imagination" and had no "original" ideas. (Walt Disney)

His fiancee died, failed in business twice, had a nervous breakdown, and he was defeated in eight elections. (Abraham Lincoln)

If you've never failed, you've never lived.

Life = Risk

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Here is more examples of successful people who've failed more times than you can imagine: (Source: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=133908)

- WWII hero Winston Churchill failed the 6th grade. He lost every election for public office until the age of 62. He later wrote in his memoirs, "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never, Never, Never, Never give up."

- The great philosopher Socrates was called "an immoral corrupter of youth" because he asked questions and provoked thought that was not good for the rulers at the time. Even after he was sentenced to death for his so-called crimes, he kept teaching and seeking enlightenment. His story and teachings have inspired great minds that followed him for 1,000s of years. See: The Trial and Death of Socrates by Plato

- Charles Darwin turned down a up a medical career and was told by his father, "You care for nothing but shooting, dogs and rat catching." In his autobiography, Darwin wrote, "I was considered by all my masters and my father, a very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard of intellect." Clearly, if he had accepted failure and went the way that everyone said he should have, the world would not be the same today.

- The scientific, philosophical, and social genius Albert Einstein did not speak until he was 4-years-old and did not read until he was 7 years of age. His parents thought he was mentally challenged and one of his teachers described him as "mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams." He was expelled from school several times. He did eventually learn to speak and read. Even to do a little math.

- When the Bell telephone was struggling to get started, its owners offered all their rights to the Western Union company for $100,000. The offer was laughed at and replied with "What use could this company make of an electrical toy?"

- Baseball Hall of Famer Babe Ruth is famous for his past home run record, but for decades he also held the record for most strikeouts. He hit 714 home runs and struck out 1,330 times in his career. The man who broke his record for home-runs, Mark McGuire, also broke his record for strike-outs.

- Johnny Unitas's first pass in the NFL was intercepted and returned for a touchdown. Joe Montana's first pass was also intercepted. And while we're on quarterbacks, during his first season Troy Aikman threw twice as many interceptions (18) as touchdowns (9) . . . oh, and he didn't win a single game. Tom Brady was a 7th round draft pick. That's like being the last kid to get picked to play dodgeball.

- The first time Jerry Seinfeld walked on-stage at a comedy club as a professional comic, he looked out at the audience, froze, and forgot the English language. He stumbled through his act, was booed terrible, and walked offstage. He returned the next night, started fresh, and was wildly loved by the audience. Among the audience were some network executives, too.

- Beethoven couldn't hold the violin properly and played his own compositions instead of improving his technique. His teacher called him "hopeless as a composer." And, yet he went on to write five of the greatest symphonies of all time, while completely deaf.

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So you see, failures and setbacks are only but part of a life.

Be ready to fail at every single aspect of your life. If you do not fail, then whatever you did was too easy. And it was too easy because you didn't challenge yourself enough.

I could hike a hill tomorrow successfully without injuring myself and say I didn't fail. But what if I didn't push myself hard enough? What if instead of climbing a small hill, I should have climbed a mountain? Could I have done it without breaking down physically and mentally? "But Bat, forget it. You climbed a damn hill. That's good enough, man."

NEVER! What comes easy at first try (or first few tries) is NEVER good enough. You'd be fooling yourself into thinking that that is all you are capable of.

In the weight room, I make it a goal to push myself to the breaking point. Sure, I can do 12 pull ups. It's easy. Piece of cake. Most guys I know can't even do 5. So, I'm automatically the best.

NEVER! Comparing yourself to people who are lacking in proficiency and skills is downright insulting not only to them, but to yourself too. You are basically telling yourself, "Damn, I know I'm ok, but to make myself really great I should compare myself to people who are worse than me." In contrast, comparing yourself to people who are far advanced in proficiency and skills is insulting to one person and one person only....can you guess?.....Yes, you know who I'm thinking about.

I live by the motto of, "I am my own personal hero and I believe in myself and myself only."

Why? Because I like to believe that I have total and complete control over my life. My behaviors. My actions. My thoughts. My objective thought process. My emotions. My attitude. My outlook.

Take a good hard look at your past. Your failures in the past. Your successes in the past. Why did you fail? How did you fail? What could you have done to prevent it? Where did you go wrong?

Do you see the common denominator here....it's always YOU. It's YOUR past, and they are YOUR failures. Nobody failed YOU. Nobody gave YOU success. Nobody took YOUR self-esteem away. Nobody gave YOU true confidence.

So, don't blame others for your failures. Your mistakes. Your rejections. Your setbacks.

Figure out things that are in your control and things that are out of your control. 99% of the time, you will find that things are always under your control. You can better yourself next time around. You have to. You need to. Because, you DESERVE to.

So, FAIL! Fail with pride. Fail with glory. Fail with honor.

Fail so you can say, "Damn, I'm glad I found out where my weaknesses are. If I hadn't realized them, they would've continued to dragged me down masked behind a false sense of success."

Fail so that you can die a peaceful death knowing that you pushed yourself to the limit and gave your best shot in every thing you've accomplished in life. Because at the end of the day, the only thing you've failed to accomplish is not failing.

empowering stuff man, thanks for that

thanks man! i needed this one

Always a good read. Keeps you on the right track!


Or like someone else put it in different words a long time ago:


“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man
stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to
the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives
valiantly… who knows the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who
at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at worst, if he fails, at
least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid
souls who have known neither victory nor defeat.”

Teddy Roosevelt

Glad I could be of help, guys.

I think it's important for men to realize that failures is just a part of life and nothing to be ashamed of. And this applies to every aspect of your life including women, education, fitness, career, etc.

Even little kids fail when they first try to crawl, walk, talk, speak, write, etc. We are sensitive to their failures because they are "just kids", while we are not as sensitive to other, and more importantly, our own failures as adults. We live in this constant fear of shame when we think about attempting something because if we fail at it, then "others" will view us badly for it. Hence, we end up taking the easy way out which ensures victory at the end.

There is something very tragic about living the life of ease and comfort when you KNOW that you are capable of something more BUT are held back due to your own insecurity and others' judgment of your character.

I was just thinking of this the other day when I was watching a show and a character said "A man can only take so much failure."

I thought it was not necessarily true. I've failed relentlessly in my weight-training since the age of 14 and with women since an even younger age. I've failed tests in school but I'm ultimately at an even better school (been to many) as a result of the actual learning I've accepted. I can study better and comprehend better as a result. I can reflect what I know better as a result of trial-and-error. Those were the times when it not only was inevitable, but necessary to experience. May I continue to fail and persevere in everything.

I needed this today...bump. Thanks for writing this.

I spent six years in high school feeling sorry for myself (graduated last in my class). During the year-and-a-half after that I floated from job to job either getting fired or quitting due to the fact I couldn't do it.

My second semester at community college is almost over right now...since I started going, I've dropped 20 more pounds, I have a 3.7, I'm in student senate, and I tutor math Monday through Thursday. I'm actually nervous about picking my major, because I excel at EVERY subject I take.

Sound like a turnaround? Add to that the fact I can have anyone I want, and I've never been happier.

I'm starting to like failures and fears; they make you find something to believe in and to put your faith into and the simple act of living with a belief in one thing that you love could light a city for a week

Still on the road tho but damn sure loving it

Just what I needed to hear...time to get back on that charger and once more, forth into the fray. I have been reading and re-reading the DJ Bible, and combing this discussion board for tips. I have a massive Nice Guy mindset to change! Let a woman into my life after that last one with Histrionic Personality Disorder (and a very nice ass, I might add)? Time to say hello to the lovely women walking by me everyday.

Thanks, again

THIS is the kind of stuff we need more of on this board, not this pansy "she used a smily face in her facebook message..does she like me? lol should i neg her???" crap.

Again, AWESOME post.