Ha! Chastity Ring Trouble.

Alright. This is about the same girl I was talking about last time I was talking about last.

It turns out that I was right; she was interested in me. I asked my friend, he said she doesn't have a boyfriend and she's "just not looking for anything. My initial thought was "Wtf? next."

But it bothered me. I mean, I know how to read people. The fact that I apparently read someone that wrong bothered me. So I decided to try and figure out exactly what went wrong.

Then it hit me. I had remembered that while I was playing guitar hero at the party, I overheard one of my more AFC friends hitting on her (It was actually pretty funny lol), she had mentioned to him that she wears a ring of chastity. At first I didn't pay much heed to it and had almost forgotten until my AFC friend had mentioned it to me later on. I put it out of my head.

When she told me that she had a boyfriend, I was actually really caught by surprise. What her body told me the night before and what she was saying then contradicted each other.

It wasn't until today, when my friend confirmed that she is single and isn't looking for anything that I remembered the chastity ring.

This seems to make the most sense (There is the possiblity that I read her completely wrong and that she just doesn't like me and that I'm just using the chastity ring as an excuse, but I find that that's unlikely).

What I think is that I was right. She does like me, but she's afraid that if she get's into a relationship with me, she'll be forced into something she doesn't really want to do.

It really didn't help that Julie has no trouble talking about sex (within the first 10 minutes of me being at the appartment, she shoved an open porn mag into my face.) We actually ended up spending the better part of the night making sexual innuendos and other such jokes to each other lol.

I do like her and I respect her enough to not do anything, but she's still reluctant. Since this is such a rare situation and I've never handled or even heard of something like this before, I'm asking for your guys' help in this. Any idea how I could get this to work?

I'd personally leave it alone, if she's sexually interested she'll let you know. If you want to stay friends, make the appropriate adjustments.

There's plenty of other girls out there, one day this one will develop adult feelings and by staying a distant friend you may be able to reap the benefits.

Lol, that's not what I meant. I don't care about sex. I want to know how I can let her know that I'm okay with it her want for chastity.

Dude you can't just let her know you're OK with her chastity. I would just not bring it up. I mean she didn't tell you about it so there's really no reason for you to know about it. Just stop over analyzing and make a move. Since you know she has a thing for chastity don't move too fast sexually. Just keep things cool and let it progress at it's own rate. If you're in no hurry then it shouldn't really matter. But you don't want to move so fast that she'll get freaked out.

Also, I still think you messed up last time with the texting and calling. It seemed desperate. Just give her a call soon and set something up. Be the man. And make it casual so there's no pressure.

Sprint, she said that she's not looking for anything right now, meaning that if I ask her out, she's going to say no. She's not just going to ignore her chastity. Part of the reason she's scared is because I give off a sexual vibe, and that contradicts with what she wants.

But you may be right about not taking it too fast. I could just hang out at school with her and our mutual friends and slowly move up, but if I do that, I risk getting put into the friendzone.

TheEdgeOf said:

Sprint, she said that she's not looking for anything right now, meaning that if I ask her out, she's going to say no. She's not just going to ignore her chastity. Part of the reason she's scared is because I give off a sexual vibe, and that contradicts with what she wants.

But you may be right about not taking it too fast. I could just hang out at school with her and our mutual friends and slowly move up, but if I do that, I risk getting put into the friendzone.

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the thing is that you don't know she'll say no until you ask. Seriously how many times have you wished you went up and talked to a girl? A lot I bet (me too). You may regret your action in the short term but in the long term you'll look back and be happy you tried. I mean if you don't try you'll never know.

Just make it a casual "date" as "friends". You can kino a little but just don't get hot and heavy. Keep it light the first meeting and progress slowly. I really think you should just try and get her to go out. You never know she might say yes. And again as far as she's concerned you don't know about her chastity ring. Just stop analyzing it and take things for what they are. Life is much easier and less stressful that way.

btw kino will prevent the friendzone. However, if she decides she doesn't want anything AFTER you ask then just forget about it. You can use her as social proof to get other girls. There's really no harm here. Just get her to go out and say stuff like she'd be a good friend and what not. But kino on the "date" some.

@Cr1msonKing: I am okay with it.

@Sprint: When I said that she's not looking for anything, I meant that she doesn't want anything because of her choice. I know she likes me, it's obvious, but the reason that she doesn't want to do anything is 'cause she doesn't want to compromise herself.

TheEdgeOf said:

@Cr1msonKing: I am okay with it.

@Sprint: When I said that she's not looking for anything, I meant that she doesn't want anything because of her choice. I know she likes me, it's obvious, but the reason that she doesn't want to do anything is 'cause she doesn't want to compromise herself.

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but you STILL NEED TO ASK HER OUT. You're defeating yourself before you even try. Stop with the negative attitude. If she likes you she'll go out with you. You're over-analyzing one text message. Just try, man. that's all I can say.

If she doesn't want to do anything (as in have sex) then whatever. She just doesn't want to do anything now because she never met someone who would make her want to do something. Seriously, some guys just have a way with girls. The right guy could get this girl's clothes off.

But still you just think because she doesn't want to have sex then she won't go out with anyone. That's stupid. You're just using an avoidance tactic to avoid the anxiety of asking her out and the possibility of being rejected.

Most likely if this girl has a chastity ring then she's just waiting for the right guy. She'll still date. if it becomes an issue then you can just go from there. but you'll never know unless you actually get her to go out.

lol, I'm not afraid to ask her out. I'm planning to do that. But if this chastity thing is going to really be an issue for her, I want to make sure I've got it covered.

So she told you she has a BF, and she told another guy she has a chastity ring? Yet she still flirts pretty hard with you...

Sounds damned confusing, and i'm betting she'd probably confused as well.

From what your other thread said, she seems like a good friend, i'm seconding what Sprint is saying here. no sense repeating something that i already agree with.

Fock the chastity thing. Go look up how many of those girls who make virginity/chastity promises end up pregnant. They do it to keep away AFCs and to keep their parents happy. They will give it up to the MAN (not boy) that they really want to be with. So blow past that bullshyt and keep doing you. If she has a problem let her bring it up. She was feeling your vibe and you both know it. You didn't give a fock then. So don't wuss out and start worrying about what she wants now. Let her worry about that. That's her issue. AFCS always taking on other peoples damn problems. Either you want her or you don't, the rest is on her buddy. Stop fretting and worrying like a woman and go get what you want like a man.

Dude...quick post here but girls NEVER know what they want...they'll say they DONT NEED A MAN!...thats some feminist bull**** that they heard missy elliot say once one a good beat...
they cant resist a good man, relationships coz they know how good it if for them, their self confidence and social proof.

she doesnt know what she wants..you need to ask her out..do the dam thing, date, get busy,then we'll see how special this 'chastity' ring is...if its a problem...tell her to take it off and put it back on when its done

Chastity rings have a 90% failure rate. You could probably easily bang her.

On the way home today, I was thinking about what Sprint said about me using the chastity ring as an excuse to not ask her out.

So I was like "F*ck It. I'm going to ask her out now, none of these bull**** games. A man goes out and get's what he wants, so why am I sitting here and waiting for something to come to me?"

I called her up and asked if she was busy this weekend. She said that she may have plans on saturday or friday and that on sunday, she has to do some work. lol, I know bull**** when I see it.

I said "Alright then, I'll see you around." (I had no intention of actually doing that lol)

I was about to say bye and hang up when she told me to hold on. She said that her plans were for friday or saturday, but she wasn't sure exactly when. "Maybe we could do something, i'll get back to you on it."

As far as I see, she just used that as an excuse to give herself some time to think about things, which is fine by me. I'm just going to go about the rest of my week as usual (There's a cute brunette I might be interested in).

The ball is in her court and I'm giving her the next few days to decide.

I dunno man, I'm against the idea of giving her options. The more options she has, the less chance she'll utilize one that makes sense. This is a girl we are talking about, after all.

Put that ball back in your court so it doesn't get covered in BS. If she doesn't like it, have her call 1-800-KLEENEX