Messaged a random 18 year old on Myspace..

I saw this chick's profile on myspace, she looked DAMN good so I sent her a random message...she was like 1500 miles away so I had no agenda really other than to give her a compliment and maybe get some approval back from her (that younger women still might have a spark of interest).

I think it went something like this...

First Message:

Me: Hey, you looking absolutely stunning. Just had to say that.

Her reply:

Something something "don't be offended but I think it's creepy that a 31 year old would message an 18 year old".

Me - Second Message:

Hey you shouldn't impose your version of reality on everyone else. My last gf was 20 (a lie). I wasn't propositioning you, just giving a compliment.

Don't really remember her response. We just sent a few more BS messages back and forth and I said "have a nice night".

Anyway, we all know that older guys are perfectly entitled to date younger women. However, as this example points out, they automatically have a shield that pops up when they see an age gap.

Any thoughts on getting around that?

I understand your motivation, based on lust. You can call it appreciation, I'll call it lust.

Myspace, 1500 miles away, you set yourself up for what you got.

The basis for connecting with a young woman is discretion and subtlety.
Keep the lust but lose the AFC actions.

Juando said:

I understand your motivation, based on lust. You can call it appreciation, I'll call it lust.

Myspace, 1500 miles away, you set yourself up for what you got.

The basis for connecting with a young woman is discretion and subtlety.
Keep the lust but lose the AFC actions.

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Lust? Desire, attraction, it's all the same...

I agree with what you said...about subtlety and discretion..

See the funny thing is...she thought her response was going to wound my inner child or something and I say that because she said "don't be offended" lol. It was as if she hated to be the bearer of bad news....that she was telling me that my life was behind me now...and that I should go sit in a rocking chair...What powerful creatures sexy young women believe themselves to be if they think they can crush a man with words alone. But I wasn't crushed, instead I take a comment like that and laugh it off. My poor little ego isn't wounded.

It's like you said....subtlety...

Girl sees older guy "lusting" after her and BAM the Age Gap Shield (tm) goes up. Now on the other hand....if this hadn't been a random shot in the dark....and I had been talking to her in a social situation...I would have been able to establish VALUE first. I think that's the key.

The Age Gap Shield (tm) WILL go up if you show lust before you have established value.

My girlfriend just turned 21.....

There is still hope for us

Truman,

why did you have to compliment her on her looks? She hears it 1000x a day from other desperate morons. Doing this kind of thing is called "supplicating".

Now, I bet if you told her something that had nothing to do with her looks, she would reply with curiosity. Then you would be able to establish value.Of course, given her distance, there is no realistic chance of escalation.

But messaging a girl solely to give her a compliment is major AFC territory. You shouldn't make it a habit.

Well, if you are going to message random 18 y/o's, you might as well get creative because you might learn something that will help you in real life, since I'm pretty sure that 18 y/o's on myspace have the same thinking processes of 18 y/o's in your neighborhood.

So instead of giving the old AFC, "you are stunning I just wanted to tell you that" that she hears all the time, think of different subtle ways to make her question her own percieved value, so that she needs to prove herself to you to get it back. Not that you'd ever wanna hook up with random girl from myspace

So what is her percieved value derived from? Her looks and the attention it gets from guys. How many ways can you think of to make it seem like her looks are actually a hinderance to real social value, which she can only redeem by somehow successfully (but not easily) convincing you to validate her?

Can you imagine how powerful you would be if you could easily take away a girls social value, regardless of her looks, and convince her that the only way she could have it back was to prove herself to you?

I'm not gonna tell you to try different ways to play with young girls minds in order to manipulate them to give you what you want, because I don't know if you think that is morally acceptable, or not, so I'll let you decide whether or not to increase your communication skills through experimentation on my space.

ASD used to be very low on MySpace. Now it's very high.

If you want to pick up 18 year olds, you're better off hitting the club on "college night". ASD is much easier to deal with in person.

And "you're absolutely stunning...just want you to know that" IS a "creepy" line.

If you're gonna use it, at least follow it up with something better than, "just wanted to tell you". It sounds like you're assuming rejection and running off, like a little schoolboy who runs up to a girl, kisses her on the playground and then takes off running so she doesn't beat his ass. You're 28. You don't need to play those games with 18 year olds.

And then you try to qualify yourself to her..."No really, I'm NOT a perv! My last girl was..." Please. You think an attractive girl on MySpace has never been hit on by an older man?

Come correct or don't come at all.

if you are going to randomly do that why play the role of a typical AFC? why not at least try to be a DJ if you are going to throw a hail mary pass?

Don't mean to offend anyone but any guy over the age of 18 with a Myspace page is creepy.

Any woman over about 24 or 25 with a Myspace is also a little weird imho.

Any woman over 35 with Myspace is just pathetic.


People who trick out their Myspace page to have the coolest graphics, pics, sounds, music, (the list goes on and on) are like those skinny white guys with the baggy pants and Yankee hat turned sideways while driving their ultra lowered Chevy S-10 with the rear end dragging every small bump in the road and a paint job that looks like something a 3 year old with finger paint did.


My opinion - if you want to talk to girls online - of any age - do it on some kind of dating site - craigslist if you have to, but at least those girls are expecting it and it will be less likely that even an 18 year old will call you creepy.

Rounder said:

Don't mean to offend anyone but any guy over the age of 18 with a Myspace page is creepy.

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Not to offend anyone, but get a clue dude.

I'm 37 next month and I have a myspace page.

Turns out that I am headed out of town to a convention in a few weeks. When I found out where it was going to be at, I jumped on Myspace because I remembered that a girl I know lives in that area.

She's a hot 23-24 yr old respiratory therapist I met through friends. I have partied with her and the past and gotten "vibes" from her, but due to various circumstances (part of it being she lives 2 1/2 hours away) I never got her number or spent time with her outside my social group.

So if I were to have bought into the "any guy over the age of 18 with a myspace page is creepy" bit I would be hanging out with a bunch of tech geeks at a lame ass hotel nightclub instead of partying it up with a 23 yr old hottie.

Oh yea, and my Mypace page is even "tricked out" with pics of my travels, etc. Can you believe that?

As for the OP.....it's VERY difficult to get past social stigma without face to face contact. If you met the same girl on the street and you look decent and carry yourself well, it's a totally different ballgame. on Myspace the first thing they see is your pic and your AGE glaring up at them like a strobe light.

Chances are I would never have even had a shot with the chick I mentioned above if I had tried to pick her up on Myspace, but with my status, social proof, and the way I handle myself she actually LIKES a guy that's 14 years older than she is. Social stigma is out the window....

I just took down my myspace page last week in a fit of "I'm too old for this..."

Plus it had been 7 months since my last login..........

If you really do it to network with friends & your social circle then more power to ya.

Chit chatting online with random attention ***** teenagers is a massive colossal waste of time, imo. Even if you get a positive reaction from the girl, so what. It's a fukkin internet profile you're messing with. Get some game, man and get out there in real life.

Rounder said:

Don't mean to offend anyone but any guy over the age of 18 with a Myspace page is creepy.

Any woman over about 24 or 25 with a Myspace is also a little weird imho.

Any woman over 35 with Myspace is just pathetic.

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I myself have mixed opinions about myspace.

1). It can turn into a game of "so and so is friends with so and so" which is very high schoolish..

2). Once your part of a network just about anybody you've ever known can track you down and personally, there are some people I've known in my life I don't want to try to contact me.

3). It somewhat encourages girls to become attention *****s even if they aren't already one in the real world.

However, sure it has some negative aspects to it yet on the other hand, it's great for keeping in touch with my friends and social circle.

Anyway, back to topic.

Yes it was a lame shot in the dark. I fully admit that. I was just testing the waters.

Lessons learned (as mentioned earlier) Admitting attraction to a younger woman without establishing value triggers the Age Gap Shield (TM).

Truman181 said:

Yes it was a lame shot in the dark. I fully admit that. I was just testing the waters.

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I think this kind of "testing the waters" is worthwhile online. Online you have access to hundreds of thousands of women and can experiment with all kinds of lines. I think a guy can learn alot about women in this way - due to the sheer number of women you can talk to in a very small amount of time.

As for Myspace - every page looks the same to me. Most pics that people post look like they belong on "hot or not" or something along those lines. Many of them just look desperate and are screaming for attention.

Truman181 said:

Lessons learned (as mentioned earlier) Admitting attraction to a younger woman without establishing value triggers the Age Gap Shield (TM).

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If I was single, I'd do everything in my power to avoid "admitting attraction" to a woman I was interested in. It's just not the way to go about it. I might "inform" a woman I want her to do something with me or maybe point out something about her that impressed me, but that's about it. If i got turned down, I'd think (but certainly not say) pfft.... millions of others where you come from.

I think of the age gap, such as this one, in a complete 180 mentality. I wonder, with the sake of this topic, how many 18 year old hotties exist in the State of Arkansas that I'd give the chance to be with me. I'd consider THEM the lucky ones; not me. I'm going to be good looking via age at least as long as an 18 year old woman will be, and I have more money and power that 99% of guys her age.

OP, you'll occasionally get turned down by white trash even. No one's perfect. But just because you get turned down, doesn't mean they're better than you. They CAN be mistaken.

Str8up is right and the face to face approach is the best way to get over the age gap but still what I would've done was simply lie and told her you were 25.

Who gives a sh!t if all you're going for is a lay?

Lie, lie, lie and lie some more!

azanon said:

I think of the age gap, such as this one, in a complete 180 mentality. I wonder, with the sake of this topic, how many 18 year old hotties exist in the State of Arkansas that I'd give the chance to be with me. I'd consider THEM the lucky ones; not me. I'm going to be good looking via age at least as long as an 18 year old woman will be, and I have more money and power that 99% of guys her age.

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This is why so many older guys fail miserably with younger women.

They get it in their head that it is a privilege to be with a chick so much younger and so hot, when it is actually the other way around.

Saturday night I found myself in the back of a limo one of my buddy's friends owns, riding home from the club with a group of friends and friends of friends. There was a chick I had met five minutes earlier sitting caddy corner from me. My buddy turns on some music and gets the woofers bumping, and next thing you know this chick is rubbing her foot up against my leg and giving me the "fukk me" eyes.

Now the funny thing is that I quickly realized that there were three other younger guys in the group, MUCH closer to her age (early 20's) who were basically drooling and fighting over her all night. This chick is staring ME down and playing footsie with me and at the same time she's pushing these other guys off as they try to move in one by one. It was HILARIOUS.

Now granted, I don't look my age but I'm almost 37 years old, and I was dressed right and looked good, but she had her pick of three other decent looking guys who were very close to her age, and she wanted nothing to do with them.

When I walked up to the limo and met this chick it could have gone down one of a two ways.

I could have looked at this hot little piece of ass and thought "damn, I wish I wasn't so OLD....I might have a chance with this chick". But instead, I walked up and OWNED it. She asked who I was, and I responded in a manner as if that I couldn't believe she had no idea who she was talking to, like my reputation should preceded me. I looked at her and talked to her like she was just another one of a string of 22 yr old party girls who I hang out with all the time, and she took it hook, line and sinker. Either that or she thought I was incredibly hot, but I would bet it had more to do with the former.

Three words when dealing with younger chicks fellas....

FLIP THE SCRIPT.

STR8UP said:

Saturday night I found myself in the back of a limo one of my buddy's friends owns, riding home from the club with a group of friends and friends of friends. There was a chick I had met five minutes earlier sitting caddy corner from me. My buddy turns on some music and gets the woofers bumping, and next thing you know this chick is rubbing her foot up against my leg and giving me the "fukk me" eyes.

Now the funny thing is that I quickly realized that there were three other younger guys in the group, MUCH closer to her age (early 20's) who were basically drooling and fighting over her all night. This chick is staring ME down and playing footsie with me and at the same time she's pushing these other guys off as they try to move in one by one. It was HILARIOUS.

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I'm very glad you post your age, or claim to be 36, because if you didn't, I'd be absolutely convinced you don't meet the qualifications to post here. I've felt this way about you pretty much after reading 3 of your posts.

Now granted, I don't look my age but I'm almost 37 years old, and I was dressed right and looked good, but she had her pick of three other decent looking guys who were very close to her age, and she wanted nothing to do with them.

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Seems like you notice the same phenomenon, .... just attributed it to different reasoning.

I could have looked at this hot little piece of ass and thought "damn, I wish I wasn't so OLD....I might have a chance with this chick". But instead, I walked up and OWNED it. She asked who I was, and I responded in a manner as if that I couldn't believe she had no idea who she was talking to, like my reputation should preceded me. I looked at her and talked to her like she was just another one of a string of 22 yr old party girls who I hang out with all the time, and she took it hook, line and sinker. Either that or she thought I was incredibly hot, but I would bet it had more to do with the former.

Three words when dealing with younger chicks fellas....

FLIP THE SCRIPT.

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I don't see where I said to act in a different way based upon the age of the woman. I was merely refuting the notion that my age is a detriment. If anything, its a benefit. It seems as if you agree with me, actually.

............

double post

azanon said:

If I was single, I'd do everything in my power to avoid "admitting attraction" to a woman I was interested in.

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The whole "admitting attraction" has plus and minuses to it. On the plus side it can be thought of DIRECT game. This is higher risk than going indirect which I interpret as coming in under the radar. However, by going direct, since it's higher risk, can in some instances spike attraction because it is such a bold move.

Now for the minus part of being direct. If done wrong you can come off as an AFC "confessing his feelings" yada yada yada.

Anyway, I'm glad I took initiative and sent the message. It was a FUN learning experience...

get real

sure, 18 year olds can be hot as hell, but they're also 18!! annoying and childish. is pvssy all that matters to you dude? don't you want to at least be able to talk to your girl?

there are plenty of hot girls in the early / mid 20's range, no need to bother with rude little 18 year old brats.