I am about to quit the show!!!!

For clarification, I do not live in the US anymore, so what I am going to talk about here does not apply to North American colleges.

I go to engineering school and just completed the 4rth semester. Exams I have left for this semester : Technical Thermodynamics and Electrical Engineering.

For the umpteenth time I now ask myself if this is really what I want to do with my early 20's, as all we've done so far is: Lecture, Examples, Homework, all in this order and for week after week after week. I have almost no free time as all exams are during the summer or spring break, and I haven't been anywhere further than 100km from my house for 2 years.

I have literally spent 2 years in front of a desk or sleeping. I have made almost no new friends as most people there I work with, but they are not my friends the way I view my closest friends. Buddies? yes, fellow students? yes, but not real friends.

I am depressed about this and seriously wonder if I am doing the right thing for me. Career-wise it's the best thing to do, as engineers are sought in the market, but life just really really sucks right now. I have not been swimming this summer (not one freaking time), I am white as a ghost as I do not see the sun, and I have not bought new clothes for at least a year. What for? I do not have the time nor money to see women or go on dates, and I have no time to earn money in the first place.

In fact, I really hate college right now. I have realized that the quality of my life has not changed for the better since I started, and above all I no longer feel the satisfaction of engaging in science or tech. I feel no better sitting down and doing this sh!t and understanding all this crap if I have just completely lost interest in it. What's it to me if Dalton's law applies for mixtures of gases? The quality of my life is none the better for having answered that question. The last thing I enjoyed in that field was going through old stuff for the LHC thread here in this forum.

I am just having a complete breakdown of my 21 years and especially these 2 years of college. I have at least 3 more years to go for a degree, so I am wondering if I should transfer the hell out of here and go do something else.

I am interested in all kinds of stuff, starting from law to business to medicine, and I am smart enough to do well in all these fields too. I looked up the fundamental differences between a common law and civil law justice system because I was interested in it. I watch everything I can about foreign countries if I have some minutes to spare.
Problem is, I do not know what else to do. All my life I have basically always known that I was going to do tech or science, and then go on perhaps to business school. Now I am wondering if I should not cut my losses and get the hell out.

Another thing is, I have extremely high standards for myself. I want to do good, but by now, I just don't care anymore about my GPA or any of that stuff. Some of these exams are just jokes: What kind of ass gives a test where you need 20 out of 100 points and half don't even get that done? (That was our Mechanics I and II class). Almost every exam, at least 50% fail. I hate studying for weeks and then almost failing, having almost nothing to show for the effort.

Do you know the question: If I had 10 billion dollars on my bank account, what would I do? Well right now I don't have an answer for that.
How can I make my life better?

My advice is to shoulder on. You don't have long to graduate and you'll still be young when you do graduate right? It'll be over in a short time but your life after college will go on for the rest of your life. Once you graduate it will be totally different without all the studying as an engineer. Besides any college program that has a future is going to be demanding.

I once was in the same shoes you were.

I went to college and absolutely hated it because I wasn't interested in any of the stuff they taught.

So I decided to drop out and go to a golf academy to become a professional golf long drive competitor. I'm having the best time of my life right now.

It's all about finding out what your biggest strength is and what you enjoy the most and then do everything you can to get better and better at it. That's what it all comes down to.

Most people live a mediocre life because they never thought about what their real strengths were and just basically did what everybody else was doing.

Find out what your biggest strength is and passion is, dream big and never doubt yourself. It's all about hard work and dedication.

ketostix said:

My advice is to shoulder on. You don't have long to graduate and you'll still be young when you do graduate right? It'll be over in a short time but your life after college will go on for the rest of your life. Once you graduate it will be totally different without all the studying as an engineer. Besides any college program that has a future is going to be demanding.

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The problem is, without an interest in the material all studying just basically blows to hell because this is not stuff you can learn by heart, but have to thoroughly understand to pass the tests. No interest = no understanding, and that's basically a proven fact, considering all the people that were in it for the money at the beginning.

Also I would like to point out that I am not having a great college life, and am extremely envious of people who do. There is a possibility of me transferring to a shorter degree, but that would mean a great loss of academic prestige and subsequently money. I do not want to weigh prestige and money against a life, but would rather put myself into a position to have both (duh).

Point is, I have maneuvered myself into a lose-lose situation. I will be 24-25 when I graduate, with what would be equivalent to a master's degree from a very good university in the US (we have an exchange program with Purdue, for example, however I do not qualify because I grew up in the US).

If you hate the course so much, what makes you think you'll enjoy a job in the field?

That question is half for you to put to yourself and half for you to actually answer me, since I really know nothing about engineering jobs.

If you don't have an answer as to why you would enjoy the job more than the education I would advise you to get out now with the caveat that you don't want to be one of these journeyman geniuses going around. I know a guy who scored some of the highest marks in the country in his exams leaving school, and went to do engineering. Like you, he hated it and dropped out after 2 years. He then applied for medicine and got it, he hated that, and dropped it after 6 months. He now puts tins of beans on supermarket shelves 6-8 hours a day.

Before you drop out, you need to be very sure that you would enjoy something else more. I mean, there was presumably a time where you thought you'd like engineering more than anything else, right?

Career-wise it's the best thing to do, as engineers are sought in the market,

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Just because employers want engineers and it pays good, it doesn't mean you're going to enjoy it. If you hate all the crap to go through to get this job, then chances are you're going to hate the job too.

Find something you can channel all your positive energy into, something that you enjoy doing and focus on that. I'll tell you something... If I could do things any different when I was in my early 20s, I would have worked at starting my own business or getting into real estate since my credit rating is excellent.

Most of the posts boil down to the question: Why do I study engineering and what do I want to do with the degree?

I study engineering because of several reasons, some of which are more complicated to explain than others.

The coursework is not designed to promote a high level of knowledge, but rather a high level of skills. This means that you learn to work independently, without somebody holding your hand as soon as it gets difficult.
Let me put this into context: During an internship I did the summer before starting college, my boss was a solid state physicist with a PhD, his specialty being the investigation of technical surfaces using a variety of instruments such as electron microscopes, MRI, and CT scans. Now his job had nothing to do with that, he was in South America doing marketing research and managing the production for a chemical company. He explained to me that the real point of going to college is not to be instructed, but to be educated in skills so that you can learn by yourself. He had no problems dealing with complex mathematical structures or using tools out of the computer science area to turn his ideas into concrete plans to be implemented. I think this is why many tech or science people later say that 90% of the studies have nothing to do with their work now.

Fact is, an engineering degree would open up lots of fields while closing few: I could go into the medicine field (medical technology and science are open to engineers), law (patent and consumer law not to mention the possibility of being an expert witness), business (go to customers to explain complex tech issues and also to do marketing or key account management), I could even become a teacher (one of my teachers was an engineer who decided to teach math and physics at school). Perfect for somebody who doesn't have a plan in life

Also, classic engineering jobs are secure and usually stress-free. I read somewhere that the suicide rates for engineers are five times as low as for physicians, and they work less too. I know this is not really important if you love your job, but just something I considered to be a minor point.

I actually never really considered doing something else besides science or tech after school, just a short flirt with business. I realized however, that business knowledge can
a) be acquired later and easier than tech knowledge (through experience too)
b) is rather useless if you do not understand the product
c) is useless if you can't deal with people

Now these are all just generalizations and not meant to be offensive, but are my experiences.

I come from a scientist family. My father and uncle are both PhD in chem or physics, and from early on I asked questions why water boils and why do cars need gas and why is the sky blue (I actually asked that, and the answer is a lot harder than just: it is), etc. etc. etc. So I guess I have a family history for curiosity. When I got a MRI I actually pressed the female radiologist or whatever she was to explain the machine to me, and found out that some of these doctors have no clue how that stuff works. Point is, I really used to enjoy stuff like that, but for some reason I can't quite put my finger on, just knowing and applying that kind of stuff has lost its appeal to me. I guess I just .... lost my mojo or something.

One last word:
Medicine I never considered until a good friend of mine (med student) invited me to the morgue for an anatomy session. I just filled the ranks, put on some gloves, and learned with the others about human anatomy for a day. Yes, we dissected a corpse, and we did lots of "grueling" stuff like slicing testicles and looking at them under a microscope. I found that to be interesting, also I did an engineering project for college that involved medical knowledge which my friend provided. So sometimes I have the feeling that the grass is greener on the other side of the hill.

I think you just need a break. Take a semester off and go travel for a little awhile. Go and see all the people living in poverty and all the middle aged men walking around like zombies going in/out of their jobs every single day. Go and talk to some older people and ask them what they wanted to be when they were in college and how things worked out for them.

Sometimes, you have to take a peek into the real working world while you're still in college and think long term. Ask yourself, would dropping out now or fooling yourself and getting an easier degree really make your long term financial prospectives secure?!

I honestly believe that a semester break or a summer vacation will be enough to relieve you from all this stress. Then you can objectively think about your career goals and decide from there on.

And remember dude, you're only 21. You haven't even hit your peak yet! You can be a complete happy stud at 32,44,56! Just ask jophil! Don't sweat the small stuff like dating and having a social life. Figure a way out once you're stress free and relaxed.

The Bat said:

Sometimes, you have to take a peek into the real working world while you're still in college and think long term. Ask yourself, would dropping out now or fooling yourself and getting an easier degree really make your long term financial prospectives secure?!

I honestly believe that a semester break or a summer vacation will be enough to relieve you from all this stress. Then you can objectively think about your career goals and decide from there on.

And remember dude, you're only 21. You haven't even hit your peak yet! You can be a complete happy stud at 32,44,56! Just ask jophil! Don't sweat the small stuff like dating and having a social life. Figure a way out once you're stress free and relaxed.

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I totally agree. And like you correctly said yourself Ingeniarius, an engineering degree can apply to all types of careers and prepare you for other graduate programs. The job is not nearly as stressful as the college coursework. I think you should just stay with what you're doing now. You're probably just a little burnt out and so you're wondering if the grass is greener in something else, but it most likely isn't. You could take a semester off if your program allows for it, but really the fastest way to less stress and greener pastures is just to get your engineering degree completed.

First of all I want to thank you all for the numerous responses to this thread, when I posted it I anticipated sweeping generalizations („just do what you love“ etc) and not an individual case study.

I thought long and hard about why I came to this situation of not loving anymore what I do. I thought about my expectations when I started, my feelings when I was in class, everything. I put together some thoughts to share here.
My father (maybe I already explained this) is probably the most important person in my life, at least in terms of character traits we both have. He is a very successful man, a senior executive with a company that does more than 50 billion dollars of business. He earns serious money, and considers it his good right to do so. He holds the highest standards for himself in his work, and does the same for others. He believed straight A’s to be the norm for any student (school or college), and he graduated with a PhD and a GPA equivalent of 4.0. In fact, he believes that not giving your best is cowardly and contemptible, and he has no sympathy for people who quit easily. Many of the problems he solves are a matter of time and money. He believes that he can do anything, and he also spends considerable time expanding his horizon.
He seriously loves what he does. He knew what he wanted when in seventh grade, he stayed after class to do science experiments and later studied a scientific subject in college. His path was straight as an arrow: School -->
military --> college --> research fellow --> career. He still is under the original labor contract with the company he joined when he was 28.

Having that kind of father is hard, and it involves a lot of pressure with people asking "if I will follow the footsteps of my father“. Every child has a need of attention from its parents, and the easiest way to capture that of my father was good grades in hard subjects. When I went to high school, my father encouraged me to take math and physics as core subjects, and without saying it, he discouraged me from taking social science of history (both of
which are still fascinating for me to this day). I know that he would innerly disapprove of such „weakling“ subjects. I wonder if anybody here has similar experiences with fathers.

Why did I choose engineering then? I enjoyed math and science in school, and I am also good at it. It interests me and I often read science articles in the paper, just to realize how superficial and populistic they really are. I talked about that above.

One of my main problems is that I really have no striking talent. I am good at many things, but not one of the skills I have really surpasses the others. As such, I am an extremely difficult student because I feel I cannot commit to a specialty (I would be losing time which I could use for other things, and also I tend to lose interest after a while of concentrating on one thing). This makes a career choice hard for me, as I can’t be a banker-doctor
-engineer-lawyer all at once. These are all careers that I really considered, but I can’t seem to commit to one of them.

Because engineering opens up a lot of fields, I chose it. I am just not happy with it.

One other thing I have to say. I was never good with girls, and during school I really sucked with them. I think it was the great nice guy vs. jerk thing that got to me. I was a nice guy and believed all the bullsh1t they believe.
After high school I was in Argentina and fell in love (stupid, I know) .I had to return after six months and I sunk into a deep deep depression and self-destructive cycle (this was right when I started college). I lost all interest in life. I have never felt so terrible as I did then, and I have no idea what I did for weeks at a time. I was drunk for days, often sneaking drinks at night to keep it secret and then hiding the bottles. Really self-destructive
behavior, but I pulled myself together after I found this site. Now I really want to make up for the years, but I can’t because my studies don’t allow it. I still fall into these cycles, and they don’t make me enjoy college more, as everything there reminds me of that time. It was so terrible I don’t even look at her picture much, and my friends know nothing about it. I never told them, because it’s just painful.

I have neither the time nor the money nor the time to earn money to go out much. The town has one of the best universities in the country, but there are hardly any women around because it’s all engineering and science. I calculated that there are about 15 000 more males than females in the 20-28 bracket, and that is a lot. I am having serious trouble meeting women, and I believe that this relation is part of the problem. The odds are really not in
favor of the guys here. Although I no longer reek of desperation, I have phases in which I wonder if this will continue all through my early twenties. I wonder if I am wasting my life for my career in a field I do not really enjoy.

There is a distant possibility of me getting out of the program I am in now and entering a bachelor’s program. This I think requires some explanations for the board, as I live in Europe now and most of the board is in the US (where
I used to live as a kid).

The Bologna process is a program for all European universities to change from a national academic system to a standardized Bachelor – Master – PhD – model. The old national degree will run out as the students graduate, and the
new students will simply apply for the Bachelor program. The old engineering degree (my program, ending with a Master’s equiv.) was very prestigious and famed, but we were the year you could choose between old and a Bachelor’s. The point of all this is that I could really graduate sooner with a less prestigious degree and go on to do something else. A number of things are still holding me back:

- My job would be pretty secure as the old-school engineers will be sought after for a long time to come
- I have no concrete alternative plan
- The door to a degree equivalent to a Master’s and the Master’s itself will slam shut because my grades are not good enough to continue the program.


In spite of all this, I am going to develop some alternatives and see if it would be worth taking the Bachelor’s (if I can even take it) and ejecting from this place.


I’m sorry if this is a bit much and not in order, but even though I welcome comments and thoughts on your part. Thanks.