Problem with little sister bringing guys home to sleep over!! HELP!

So last night i went to my little cousins 20th birthday party. Everyone got drunk and my little sister who is 23 brought her new BF. Basically they got drunk and went to go sleep in the car apparently and later on went to my parents house to sleep. I feel asleep at the party but when i went home at 9am the next morning...I discover that they were just getting up because they had slept in my room. I played it cool like I didnt care but I later texted my sister the following:

Ken785: Sister, im not mad or anything, and I know u guys just needed a place to sleep...but dont ever bring a guy to mom and dads house to sleep over again...thats not cool! Its disrespectful to your parents and sets a bad example for your little sisters..do what you want outside this house but dont do that again.

Little Sister: We had nowhere to sleep. Plus mom met him already.

Ken785: It doesnt matter...for next timew just dont do it.

Little Sister: Ok, im 23. So u rather i sleep in the car?

Ken785: Its not about that. Its just not cool to do that.
For my grad party, all my friends are gonna stay the night cus I don't want them driving..Is that a problem too? Both girls and guys.

Ken785: Friends are cool but ur not understanding. Its still not ok to bring someone to sleep over like that.

Little Sister: Well my friends are gonna stay the night at my grad party...I dont care, im not 16...

Little Sister: Whatever ken. Ur 25..So its not okay to bring ur gf home if u wanted to? How old do u have to be for it to be ok? 30? Don't wanna talk about it anymore.

Ken785: I just told you its not about your age. Its just disrespectful to your parents and your little sisters to see. End of discussion.

...what do you guys think? I realize that shes old now but I just think its wrong for her to bring dudes over for a sleepover with my parents in the next room and little sisters.....anyone agree??

You know I realized something recently...it's NOT your job to be the parent..it's your parents job to BE the parents and set the limits. Your NOT her father but her brother THAT's IT. No matter how much sense you talk or logic after a certain age, especially for girls they will do what they THINK is right unless told otherwise by your parents. You think she cares about respect, values, common sense and setting an example for your younger siblings if she does something like that...? (I'm not saying she is a bad person or crazy but you can kind of see where her head is at). Obviously she has it rationalized that it's O.K so it won't matter if your right OR wrong. (I agree with you BTW). Just be their for her in her time of need or when she wants to talk to you other than that let her do what she pleases because she isn't going to listen to you. All you can really do is provide guidance but if it's not needed don't waste your energy or breath...

Leave it to your parents.

Why is it disrespectful? Is there a double standard going on? It seems like you feel its disrespectful cause it bothers you.

Hey Ken, you don't own the house and you aren't her parents, so if your parents are cool with it then it ain't your business.

Your just mad cause some guy is banging your sister. But then its ok for you to go out and pick up a girl your sister age and fvck her (after all the girl you are going to fvck will be someone's daughter and probably sister). Face it you are the overprotective hypocrite brother.

Ken785 said:

do what you want outside this house but dont do that again.

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I guess as long as you don't have to see it then its ok.... hmmm that logic doesn't fly. You rather for her and her bf to spend money and get a seedy motel next to where truck drivers, johns and prostitutes visit on a frequent basis just so you can have a piece of mind??!! They are still going to do it.

This is MY opinion so I'm speaking for myself.

I personally feel that if my sis bangs anyone which she CAN because that is her decision as she sees fit...(we all eventually do because everyone has desires) keeping that in mind I have no problems with that because I see the reality for what it is. But the reason I would find it disrespectful is because if they start sleeping in their room, chances are it WILL escalate from their as well. Next time they might be sleeping together on the living room couch and so on and so on. Once she moves on to another BF things might slowly escalate to another level and she might feel that it's O.K to bring guys to the house because "mom's met him.." do you see where I'm coming from...?. It's kind of like a little kid squeezing a balloon and seeing how much he/she can squeeze before it pops. But personally I don't have any problems with my sis banging guys because at 23 she should have enough common sense to make the correct decisions well I can only hope....

In the end it doesn't matter how I see it because it's NOT my job to raise her it's my parents.

Originally posted by:- DjDamage

...You rather for her and her bf to spend money and get a seedy motel next to where truck drivers, johns and prostitutes visit on a frequent basis just so you can have a piece of mind??!!

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Haaha...let's not take this to the extreme and go over-board.

Ken, no one likes being told what to do, even more sowhen the person contradicts themselves. The best thing you can do, is tell her to be safe, and smart.

Do your parents find it disrespectful or are you just pulling that out of your arse? It's your parents' house, not yours.

DJDamage said:

I guess as long as you don't have to see it then its ok.... hmmm that logic doesn't fly. You rather for her and her bf to spend money and get a seedy motel next to where truck drivers, johns and prostitutes visit on a frequent basis just so you can have a piece of mind??!! They are still going to do it.

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Yep they're still gonna do it, and his house is the safest place for his sister.

Btw Ken, you're 25. Move out of your parents' house. Then you won't have to play the parent's role to your sisters.

Jitterbug said:

Btw Ken, you're 25. Move out of your parents' house. Then you won't have to play the parent's role to your sisters.

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This is the main point to be focused on here. 25 and living at home, I hope you're just saving mad money so you can buy a dope ass crib. Either way you don't pay the mortage on your parents house so your opinion about what happens there can be noted but unless your parents say otherwise your sister should and can sleep with whoever she wants. If your parents tell her to stop and she doesn't they can kick her out and she can find her own place to live. That's how the adult world works playa.

I just dont want to to set a bad example for the other little sister who is 16. Im not mad because she wants to bring her BF here, she doesn't live here. My parents wont say anything even if it bothered them because she wont listen.

I'm curious. Why do you think it's a bad example? I can only see two things wrong:

- A 23 year old still lives at home and has her BF sleep over in her parents' house.

- Little sister sleeping with her new BF on her big brother's bed.

are you asian Ken?

in Asian cultures, even if several generations into a western country, older siblings command great respect and sometimes feelings similar to what parents give

they do give advice and the younger siblings have to listen, especially if the older sibling is a boy

i dont think what you said to her was wrong.

during arguments its always good to step into their shoes, and acknowledge reasons for the other person wanting to do something, and then rebutting those reasons

too bad you're not that much older than her

and do you have double standards? do you bring girls home to sleep over? because if you do, you don't own the moral high ground

Jeez, I moved out when I was 16. Me and my bro lived together and then my sister moved in with me. Shes *****ing about me banging girls in the appartment, its incredibly annoying. Just accept that she had sexual needs too o_0

I just dont want to to set a bad example for the other little sister who is 16.

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If a 16 year old girl WANTS to get laid, then it's going to happen.

Sexual attraction isn't influential, it's natural. Did you get horny because you saw your parents get horny?

My sister doesnt live with us...she lives on her own. But Its not like i dont want her to bring her BF over thats fine...I just felt to bring him over randomly like that looks bad, its not like theyre married.

What looks bad? I mean, I really don't get it. What's bad about a 23-year old to stay with her boyfriend at her parent's house?

And...she moved out, but you're still there? Stop ****ing around and get your own place!

Ken...as a big brother...do what you feel is right to protect your younger (16) sister. But, keeping in mind that it is not your house and at the end the one that should decide is your parents as they are the ones that own the house.

In essence, I think you did the right thing by telling her how you feel. But...at the end...the owners of the house are your parents.

Ken785 said:

I just dont want to to set a bad example for the other little sister who is 16. Im not mad because she wants to bring her BF here, she doesn't live here. My parents wont say anything even if it bothered them because she wont listen.

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Your 16 year old sister watches MTV...enough said.

DJDamage said:

Your just mad cause some guy is banging your sister. But then its ok for you to go out and pick up a girl your sister age and fvck her (after all the girl you are going to fvck will be someone's daughter and probably sister). Face it you are the overprotective hypocrite brother.

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"every woman is a ho (except my mom and sister)." Who ever that PUA that said that was right. Ken doesn't have to give a damn about any other women cause they are not his blood. It is not hypocrisy, it is blood and blood matters above all.

Ken you need to toughen up dude. You can't just let some guy come in to your parent's house to pork your sister! You did the right thing. I personally wouldn't let my sister and I wouldn't let myself get into such a situation in my parent's house. That is just disrespectful.

I do feel bad for you though no offense but if your sister doesn't even care about sleeping with some guy at her own parent's house, i bet she ain't married to him. Your sister is a HOR and i feel bad for you but at least you did protect the dignity of your parents house.

If they go to a motel and your sister gets banged that would be better than knowing that she got banged at your own parent's house and you being there. I rather just kick her out and make her go somewhere else at least that leaves the benefit of the doubt.

I don't want to bust your balls man but what in the hell are you doing at home? I mean I have talked to you a couple of times, you seem like a good guy. I mean i am sure there is some legit reason why.

but if the reason is that you are a bumb, which I know it's not, then you need to look in the mirror.

I moved out, actually got kicked out a month after my 18th birthday. I'm a grown man, no way in hell I could move in with my mom. i'd damn near live on the street first.

Is your sister supporting her BF?? why couldnt he take her to his place or make some other plan, anyway they are both grown and its your parents house, unless your parents didnt know that they where bringing the Wolf into the house to eat the chickens. so let your parents worry about their guests. if you feel left behind, ask your mom if you can bring your girl home too.. or better yet.. Get your own place dude