Snowplowman's Q&A Thread

I really need to learn how to articulate the things I've learned, I've spoke to many of my wings during debriefing and it's hard for me to articulate what I'm trying to say clearly because the traditional way of PU is no longer my basis of what I'm doing. It's like I'm piecing together my own little thing since everything I learn now are just concepts.

So, I figure I might as well help out guys while I actually help out myself, that way I can learn to explain myself better when it comes to all of this.

Before I even start this things to NOT ask me questions on...
1. Texting (I'm starting to learn this)
2. Online Game (I don't do this at all)

So lets get this started...

In your opinion why does the coldapproach have such a low success rate? Meaning getting dates and lays?

lookyoung said:

In your opinion why does the coldapproach have such a low success rate? Meaning getting dates and lays?

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This is a pretty broad question and I'll try to cover it as I see it...

First of all most guys...
- Don't cold approach at all
- Don't cold approach consistently (1-2 sets a day and they expect to get good)
- Give up due to all the hardships, obstacles, and overall don't want to deal with it anymore
- Don't learn cold approaching effectively

There are only a select few guys who are real AWESOME at cold approaching, meaning generally he can get the girl he wants. Then there are the more common guys who are out here and get inconsistent lays. Meaning a few months they will get lay, lay, lay, then the next few months nothing.

The majority is what I call the guys who never even jumped off the cliff yet and fully immerse themselves into this great transformation.

I've met some of the well known guys in NY and the guys have game and can pull. But something most people don't realize is that these guys have become Social Maniacs. Meaning they interact with tons and tons of people and they will end up having sex with whoever the really like.

It's like they'll go to a club and talk to the whole club, lets assume there are 100 people in the club and he pulls 1 chick. That's 1%...

To me I think thinking in that sense is bad because your thinking in percentages and your not actually becoming an attractive man. Your becoming a statistics specialist.

The biggest thing I learned and realized is that guys don't know how much effort it takes to get a girl and most guys aren't willing to put that much effort. As an instructors says "Guys don't know they, a PU is messy it's like your saying COME ON, COME ON, and she's like NO, NO." It takes effort and it's rarely smooth.

A HB9 model/actress...was one of the first girls in the past 2-3 months that I actually put effort into getting with and I lost it because I reverted back to what the average guy would do and not put in the effort by making an excuse... (This is a chick who has male models trying to get with her...for all you guys who think looks matters, and I ain't no male model...hahaha)

Excuses I've heard were...
- That's too needy, it's AFC/Chode
- I can get 10 other chicks (Taking Abundance Mentality to the extreme, which I'm sort of guilty of doing every so often)
- I didn't get IOIs or any signals (This is the funniest)
- She's...(ipod, too far, computer, busy, working, with a guy, etc)
- She said "No" (Most guys give up once a chick resists and declines something)
- She flaked multiple times (I've called a chick for two months straight and she picked up and I regamed her)

Basically you get my drift...So when a guy approaches he might make an excuse or maybe not...as he interacts he will come up with some excuse eventually or maybe he moves it forward...The chick might put up resistance and start giving tests and saying "No"...and now you give up because your reality is weak or maybe it doesn't affect you...You try to work out logistics and go for the pull but you make up some excuse or you adapt and make it work...Then you pull!!!

It's not the girls that make the success rate low (Even though I personally consider actual self improvement the actual success...since as a result dates and lays will be a given) it's the man and his mind/Identity that causes him to have little success.

This is why the challenge of going out and opening sets where you escalate and moving it forward until she Fuking RUNS AWAY is so good. No going for #s until you fuk her. No wings, go out alone. Doing this for six months straight will cause your game to be insane...Why?
- Your ego is getting pummeled, you've went through so much intense experiences that your reality has got injected with steriods
- You are gaining so much reference points and realizations
- You're mine will be Fuked, you basically have shocked your mind and now you can learn at such a quick rate
- You will be in the habit of actually giving it your all in a set

That is what really that big gap...

The bigger picture is actually becoming an attractive man rather than a guy who has a bit of skill to meeting women, because at some point your Identity will pop up and you'll lose the girl because all you had was competent skills, but not an actual core Identity...which is why actual #s, dates and lays aren't success it's actually becoming an attractive man that women just want. As a side effect you'll have chicks demanding you take there #s, wanting to meet up, and want to have sex.

This is why the success rates is so low, also keep in mind as a newbie you have to approach a lot to even get a lay, especially if you have no core idenitty built up. This is what makes things inconsistent. I have a wing who's done 1,100 approaches he hasn't been laid once...he just recently started learning about building his identity and becoming an attractive man.

I don't see eye to eye with you on alot of things you said, but I respect your opinions and you say alot of things that gives me the motivation to sarge. You preach always being positive which is a good thing. Thanks for the advice.

Ok, since this is a Q&A thread, I've a question:

As you may have noticed, when you're in grade / high school, there's always some guy (who's either quite good-looking or handsome).

This guy would always be a very popular guy, a total ladies' man, and all chicks want him.

When I was a kid, I used to have this friend who was a total god to the girls.
He charms every *female*, and even one young teacher once said she will woo him if she was younger.

All chicks have his number and he has numbers of all chicks, and they call him every day and vice versa, spending long hours on the phone etc....he flirts with every chick and chicks are naturally attracted to him even if he says just a couple of sentences.

Once, two girls were even scolded by the teacher for constantly bugging him at home.

The chicks always nominate him to be the class in-charge, and always elect him a captain in group sports. At games, he is the only guy they cheer on and shouts names of.

Needless to say, I'm a total AFC even when I was a kid.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure you guys have seen people like him before when you were younger.

So, my question is: are these guys natural DJs, meaning that they're a chick magnet the day they're born? Is that possible? And AFCs like us who're not born with this DJ trait has to come to this forum to learn it?

Thanks!
Nikar

Nikar said:

Ok, since this is a Q&A thread, I've a question:

As you may have noticed, when you're in grade / high school, there's always some guy (who's either quite good-looking or handsome).

This guy would always be a very popular guy, a total ladies' man, and all chicks want him.

When I was a kid, I used to have this friend who was a total god to the girls.
He charms every *female*, and even one young teacher once said she will woo him if she was younger.

All chicks have his number and he has numbers of all chicks, and they call him every day and vice versa, spending long hours on the phone etc....he flirts with every chick and chicks are naturally attracted to him even if he says just a couple of sentences.

Once, two girls were even scolded by the teacher for constantly bugging him at home.

The chicks always nominate him to be the class in-charge, and always elect him a captain in group sports. At games, he is the only guy they cheer on and shouts names of.

Needless to say, I'm a total AFC even when I was a kid.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure you guys have seen people like him before when you were younger.

So, my question is: are these guys natural DJs, meaning that they're a chick magnet the day they're born? Is that possible? And AFCs like us who're not born with this DJ trait has to come to this forum to learn it?

Thanks!
Nikar

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Guys who are good looking have internalized a bit of confidence due to them knowing that they were handsome. The difference between a good looking guy and a ugly guy is where there confidence comes from. An ugly guy isn't typically going to be confident because of his ugly looks, a good looking guy is going to have confidence because of his looks.

Once he starts getting more and more feedback that he's good looking, he will just assume it and act accordingly.

Were all born naturals...when were young were not socially conditioned yet...just look at a baby...
- HE doesn't give a fuk what anyone thinks
- He's in the moment
- He's feeling good and happy for no reason
- He has no ego, nor is he confined of social conditioning

The list can go on and on...eventually we all get conditioned not to do this or that. We get certain beliefs instilled in us, etc. As we go through life, due to the feedback and experience we draw certain beliefs and behaviors. This is how Bullies becomes more alpha and Nerds become more introverted.

All that stuff is very deep but basically because were not taught to actually create our own core identity, we just depend on luck to get the right experiences to get the right beliefs that would make us naturals. Your boy happens to have the feedback that he's good looking so his confidence comes from there and he assumes many things. As a result he acts a certain way and women like him.

Anyone can have the same confidence for no reason and just be a man who gets women and be successful, but it's really getting passed the mind. Many people doubt themselves. Just look at how much some newbies think about approaching a chick. If you actually was a guy who get girls would it even take any thought?

I honestly think everyone would benefit from sites like this because naturals don't understand how there doing what there doing so it's not consistent and usually they tend to have a niche. A natural in the club, might not be able to talk to a chick on the train station.

Hey man, seems you're an expert in RSD.

I was listening to "The Blueprint" and unstifleing is something that really jumped out at me as a real problem I never even realized I had. And something I see in all guys that are really good with women (being very unstifled).

How do you make being unstifled natural?

Wow, thanks a lot, snowman! It's very much clearer to me now!

I'm in a KJ Mood...So...

BUMP

I'll answer to my best of ability as my mindset and overall self have changed DRASTICALLY...

lookyoung said:

In your opinion why does the coldapproach have such a low success rate? Meaning getting dates and lays?

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Many women are closed to cold approaches cause they are often over whelmed by desperate men constantly approaching them.. rejection rate is very high on cold approaches especially in densly populated ares so many men are reluctant to do it unless they are very good looking and or rich.. 2 traits that women will make an exception for you if you have..

lookyoung said:

In your opinion why does the coldapproach have such a low success rate? Meaning getting dates and lays?

Click to expand...

i would say the success rate it probably not too much lower than the indirect approach if u were to compare them on equal levels. by equal levels i mean a master at both do many attempts. probably 60-70% estimating direct game and 90-99% indirect game.

for direct game from what i've learned from my friend who i consider a GURU in this field its about how you present yourself. your choice of words and patience.
all these put together direct game will work more than half the time and the rest of the time it doesn't work, it only leads to help build a foundation for indirect game as long as you don't rush things or force them.

Indirect game is all about patience and word choice. say just enough, which is not too much so u sound needy, but not so little like your a retard or a complete *******. Sometimes messages/text's that don't require answers u just don't answer, sometimes even after they send a paragraph long message an "OK" will do just fine. the waiting part i was taught was the most important. u gotta wait out the time till the next date. like 1-2 dates max a week. phone calls, text all require waiting to build interest.

Direct game is the ability to bounce off rejections without a problem, that gives the dj confidence since he doesn't care about the outcome. with the proper word choice and reading of the females current mood/type of person direct approach even if not successful at first should not be thrown into a failure pile.

What is the single best thing a newbie can do to improve his game?

Patience. i was a major noobie until a few years ago and would fail any pursuit i attempted. but from reading and learning and a friend of mines help, just by learning to have patience and wait helped me soo much.

If your not sure what to do, don't let your emotions take over and do something afc(text/email/call/message). sometimes its better to do nothing at all then to do something that is a mistake and ruin your chances.

I got a couple

1. How did you become involved in the community? you are only 19, how did you find out so early? I saw your naturals thread, so were you always a natural or at one point a "afc" yourself?

2. You talk about sub-communication a lot, where your verbals don't mean shhit, very touchy feely, what if you are in a "closed set" meaning a set where two or more women are seated and you are standing, where kinoing would come off as creepy? How would you escalate then?

3. When you are a mutliple set, do you know who you're Target is right away? Or do you qualify your Targets to your qualification, and then escalate on the one that meets them, or do you push for your target anyway?

Thanks

Solo

Furyguy said:

What is the single best thing a newbie can do to improve his game?

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Go out and HAVE FUN (Actual fun, the blowouts, the cool stuff, the weird and funny experiences...ALL FOR THE LOVE OF HAVING FUN...This ain't serious)

Besides that the most important thing is really internalizing the whole Indifferent mentality of not giving a **** what anyone thinks and not caring about rejection or unresponsiveness. Just keep hitting set after set until you've become completely indifferent.

Alot of guys have AA, but if you have AA how can you ever really PRACTICE beyond the approach if each approach is like getting a minor cut. Once AA is gone and you can approach and be totally indifferent you open the gate to actually getting good.

Solomon said:

1. How did you become involved in the community? you are only 19, how did you find out so early? I saw your naturals thread, so were you always a natural or at one point a "afc" yourself?

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I got involved when I downloaded the wrong thing and got linked to here...This is WAY BACK, maybe 06 but I never believed in none of this due to Mystery Method and being that I lived in the hood I didn't believe that you could use SPELLS routine on these chicks...Then I read Tyler's old archive and started implementing things from that and the rest is history.

When I was younger I was a natural, kindergarden got makeouts, 1st grade chick touched my dik, 2nd grade I touched a chicks kitty, 6th grade I got laid...I started staying in the house more as I got into world war 2 games and online games. This was maybe 2 years of NON STOP ww2 games...On top of that all my friends were natural and older than me so I always came out as the beta in the end.

Solomon said:

2. You talk about sub-communication a lot, where your verbals don't mean shhit, very touchy feely, what if you are in a "closed set" meaning a set where two or more women are seated and you are standing, where kinoing would come off as creepy? How would you escalate then?

I play it based on a case by case scenario...But for me in my mind nothing is creepy so longs you believe in what your doing and just doing. Instead of it coming off creepy it's more of ACCEPTED because they think "That's just who he is"

What I do alot is I talk and position myself, so while moving around and rearranging the seating I'll be talking so they can't really realize what is going on.

Most of the time I'm trying to pull chicks out of the seating area especially since most seated sets I've been opening with facial expressions.

Solomon said:

3. When you are a mutliple set, do you know who you're Target is right away? Or do you qualify your Targets to your qualification, and then escalate on the one that meets them, or do you push for your target anyway?

Click to expand...

I generally WANT to have a target but many times I have no clue I'm just chatting them all and ESCALATING on all of them. This is bad because I never actually know who I want, and ideally I want to go in with an idea of who my target is and move it forward with her.

I usually only qualify my target and put her through that whole screening process...

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hey snow. I'm glad you made this thread because you seem like a genuine dude , and you know your ****. Anyways , here's my question. I'm not really a big fan of approaching and **** because I'm still in high school and there's already a lot of hotties there and I know most of them. So the whole cold approaching ascept is unimportant to me.

What is important to me is inner game, just being confident and natural. I believe that if you are completely confident and natural, everything comes to you easily and there's no need for techniques or stuff like that. My problem is that I am a bit shy, and don't really have that confidence. And I don't just mean around girls, I mean everyone, including friends and family. I constantly subconciously feel like I'm holding back from being myself and can't let go of my inhibitions.

I know that I have a awesome personality because back when I wasn't shy like this and was confident I attracted some awesome people and I was just a lot of fun. I want to be like this again, but idk how.

steve_erkle said:

hey snow. I'm glad you made this thread because you seem like a genuine dude , and you know your ****. Anyways , here's my question. I'm not really a big fan of approaching and **** because I'm still in high school and there's already a lot of hotties there and I know most of them. So the whole cold approaching ascept is unimportant to me.

What is important to me is inner game, just being confident and natural. I believe that if you are completely confident and natural, everything comes to you easily and there's no need for techniques or stuff like that. My problem is that I am a bit shy, and don't really have that confidence. And I don't just mean around girls, I mean everyone, including friends and family. I constantly subconciously feel like I'm holding back from being myself and can't let go of my inhibitions.

I know that I have a awesome personality because back when I wasn't shy like this and was confident I attracted some awesome people and I was just a lot of fun. I want to be like this again, but idk how.

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You gotta consciously change and focus on becoming indifferent...Stop caring what anyone thinks of you, and how people react.

The thing you gotta realize first hand is that people want to see your REAL PERSONALITY...If you were to just put yourself on display with a "Take it or leave it" attitude, many people will love you. The 1% would hate you but that doesn't even matter.

This is something you need to experience for yourself by consciously just putting your REAL YOU on the line, and not holding back...Being indifferent will move you towards that direction.

I started my own post on this questions but only got one reply.


What is playful banter and why do people do it?

JDA70 said:

I started my own post on this questions but only got one reply.


What is playful banter and why do people do it?

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Playful banter is not only the key to talking women out of their panties, but also the premise of socializing in much of today's society.

Ever meet someone who has no humor and is really dry? You may have a conversation with them for a few minutes and find yourself looking off into the distance very quickly. This person is almost NEVER one of the centers of a social circle because after all, when he's done stating his case, he really has little to say.

However, you'll find that centers of social circles are usually made up of individual(s) who know how to conversate. They know how to get their point across while adding some small talk into it. They are aware that people won't listen to you just because you have something meaningful to say; you must conversate on their level and humor them as well. And these people can catch others who are centers of their social circle right away.

Have you ever seen how two social circles come together and meet for the first time. More likely than not, the centers or dominant people of each hit it off right away. This is because they are alike in this way; they know how to interact with people and not only make them laugh, but make them react to them.

How does this translate with women? First of all, a man who can use playful banter can make any situation that may seem awkward, NOT so awkward. For example, that one friend you have who always says something and everyone becomes silent. How many women does he usually attract? I'd be willing to bet not many. However the man who can make others laugh and interact is bound to have women attracted to him.

Playful banter also goes hand in hand with sexual innuendo in which the playful man will ALWAYS talk his way in to sex before the more serious individual. Women want a man who can make them happy. And making a woman laugh is a great start to making her happy.

If we didn't talk playfully and joke around with others, then what would we have? A society of robots who just talk logic? Oh yeah, and women don't work on logic, don't forget that. Women work on emotions; how they feel, not what they think. Another reason it works so well.

When you tell a woman that you are a funny individual and you are great with others, she doesn't really care. However if you SHOW that you make others laugh and you are indeed one of 'those' who could be a center of a social circle, she gets all wet in her panties.

WHAT THE F*CK???

you were pulling makeouts in kindergarden??? where the hell did you grow up?? lol!! sh1t, i didn't even know what sex was until i was like in 5th grade