So this girl is complaining that I dont talk to her enough.

Okay, so this girl that I've been seeing is starting to lose touch with me. My jackass friend has started to talk to her nonstop and I've been too busy to talk to anyone for too long, much less her in particular. He also hangs out with her alot and so on. I like this girl alot, but with my schedule I can only be with her on weekends.

See, my "friend" will stop what he's doing and GO OUT OF HIS WAY to talk to her and now they've become good friends. I only talk to her when it's convenient to me, and that's usually at night. See, because I actually have a life, and I live it the way I want to.

She was upset that I didn't pick up the phone or reply to her texts on Sunday, when I left my phone at home so I could relax after a rough weekend. So the following monday she was being really cold to me when I tried talking to her. I tried explaining to her that she's not my only friend and that I can't focus on just her all the time. I also let her know that I enjoy talking to her and spending time with her. I let her know that i have no problem hanging out with my jackass friend.

I need help on deciding what to do about this situation, how to act and what to say. I already know that I shouldn't let it bother me

here's a transcript of the conversation we had, to those who are interested:

Vice
so I hope me taking a week out of my life last week to hang out with you and inna didn't spoil you, brat!

i just realized that I don't really reply to your texts/call that often, and that you might think i'm playing games. I'm not.

i'm really busy. school, work, exercising, martial arts, setting up my business for the summer... i don't have much time to spare on the weekdays anymore.

I like talking and sometimes hanging out with you, but my time is valuable to me and the things i do.

so don't get all worried and overanalyze everything, you're an awesome friend and i'm glad we met because I've learned alot of valuable things because of you.

and i'm loving the lumberjack shirt in your default

-Vice

Girl
owell i guess it is okay,
my time is valuable as well,
and i'm sorry if sound a bit "prude" persay,
but there are other guys that are more than happy to spare a little bit of time to talk to me,
you can even ask your friends about that...they even habe the time to take out of their oh soo busy schedules and converse with me and check in and make sure im still alive.
owell maybe i am being a prude *****,
owell
i don't care.

Vice
my friends?
you haven't really met any of my real friends.

and you know that i'm not big on texting/AIM/myspace. i text for quick little notes, and i use myspace because
the messages are there waiting for me. aim is just a
total waste of time for me.

thats why i like calling you.
i can hear your voice
your tonality
your breathing
the crashes of the stuff you knock down while pacing around talking to me

all this electronic stuff is so inhuman and insincere.
do you realize how easy it is to lie through this kind of stuff?
how easy it is to get the wrong message?
you and i both know that 90% of communication is nonverbal.

but you are right to some extent; i often get so busy with stuff that I dont take the time to check on my friends

oh, and tren killo cinci de Mayo devochka!!

Girl
okay wow,
you don't get it.
you sat there just now and told me how you like to talk to me on the phone,
well maybe checkk your phone there buddy.
i called you like 4389 times yesterday but no one answered or even had the consideration of calling me back,
and oh that;s right i forgot you don't consider ryan to be your friend, sorry i mixed him into your lifestyle.
at least he communicates with me!

Vice
i left my phone at home yesterday on purpose so i could relieve some tension at work and just relax
after my banking incident. i looked at my phone
after school today and read your three texts and
listened to your two messages and saw all the
missed calls. i felt like a jerk
but you weren't the only person who called that day.

and i don't mind you talking to ryan at all,
if he makes you happy then go right ahead.

i no longer consider him a friend because every time we hang out he always tries to put me down or ignores me,
says negative things about me,
and once he even used me.

me and him were great friends in middle school,
playing video games
and going to walmart on our bikes to buy starbursts with the money we somehow managed to scrape together from change around our houses every single day.
but we've drifted apart since high school and now
all we do is irritate each other.

remember that you're not my only friend either, Marina.
i do have other friends that i talk to and make plans with
and hang out with. i dont have the time to focus on any one
particular person, even my best friend, who got into a car
accident last week and we havent talked in literally months because
he's so busy with his medical school like i am with
all the mentioned.

but look, im exhausted, and katt always likes to call at like 6:20 in the morning to wake me up (even though i get her at like seven) so i need as much rest as i can get.

oh, and i got burned on sunday from work, and i drank a gallon of water yesterday and today, so we'll see how red my face is going to be tomorrow morning from one of my friends who likes to tease me by saying i go to a tanning bed daily, even though she knows that i lifeguard

sweet dreams cutie!!
te, devochka, ochin krasiviya, spokoi notcha! :]

Girl
wow
okay
whatever.

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Good...

DonGorgon said:

Good...

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Good?

I need some more detailed feedback here, I'm confused and a little sad.

Vice said:

Good?

I need some more detailed feedback here, I'm confused and a little sad.

Click to expand...

Vice said:

I'm a little worried about this girl here, can you please tell me what you meant by your post?

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"GOOD!" as in - If you like her and she wants to talk to you more that is a good thing that you need to use to your advantage... Make her earn your attention... the moment you talk to her all she thinks she wants you to she wont want to talk to you as much anymore...

You have the power now... Go spend time with her treat her great act really interested then be unavailable again for a week... she will love that... Her complaining is a test to see of you will cave and become AFC.. which you will not..

Just skimmed the girl's response, this is pretty straightforward, you're in charge. When this first happens you wonder what you're doing to make her mad, not realizing you're making her obsessed with you. Just don't explain yourself.

Your aloofness may have sparked her initial interest but it is now officially "getting old"

You need to be more proactive if you want to go anywhere here. Stop backpedaling and making excuses for your neglect. Set a time and date for a get together and patch things up by showing her a great time and (hopefully) banging her brains out.

It's really that simple

You came off as if you were making a lot of excuses as to why you havent been contacting her. And shes saw it all as bullsh!t. It may of been or it might of been legit, i dont know.

She especially didnt like the part where you made it implyed that your to busy for her. You may not of meant it to sound like that but she defenently took it that way.

This girl isnt about to start chacing you, she seems to know whats going on better than the average high school girl.

Take her to prom but I would cut your loses. Im sure theres lots of other girls and it would be easier to start completely over with a new girl than try to dig your way out of this one. If you feel its worth your time then go ahead and try to fix this, but I dont think it is.

nah kidd, i see it more as she's obviously interested but thinks your outright trying to duck her, dont be surprised if she starts lagging

in my opinion/experience the more u try and explain to her why ur ignoring her the more she'll think its all cow**** and simply move on