Demon Wolf's improvement journal

I thought it was a good idea to start one of these.

I have a few good things going for me; I am in college, am in army ROTC, have 2 jobs, have a good sense of humor and funny stories, athetlic, etc.
I have major problems. I am 23 years old and have almost no social life. My social skills are not the greatest and I need to improve them. I have fears of intimacy(see prior posts of mine). I am lonely and I am tired of it. I have motivational issues.

I know I have to push my comfort zone and keep pushing it. I did start the dj boot camp thing, but gave myself too many excuses to not continue.
My goal for this week is to talk with at least 5 different people for five minutes. My convo skills aren't very good and a friend of mine said I was like the hardest person to have a conversation with.

My goals:
1. Improve my social skills
2. Make more friends
3. Start seeing women and eventually having sex.

Approaching
I have gotten the phone numbers of girls in class after I talked with them a few times. I was not comfortable asking at an earlier time.

I am not comfortable approaching on the street or walking around campus because I feel weird. I realize it is fear of leaving my comfort zone.

Saying hi felt rather weird at first. I was walking buy one girl and said hi and she did not quite hear me and said what? I smiled at said hi and got the same thing back. I got her to turn at me to which felt nice that she took the time to aknowledge me.

Earlier today I teased the cashier girl. I ordered a sandwich and a banana. She asked if I meant banana shake which I replied with are you trying to rip me off?
She then took about two minutes explaining how often the two get mixed up.

Other day I had a brief introduction to the girl sitting infront of me in class. It was nothing more than that. It was good that I actually did an introduction, but could not really make eye contact with her since she was infront then class started.

I have been slacking. I have said hi to a few people. I had a nice convo with a girl in the elevator.

Met a chick in class today. Had a convo with her. I wanted to ask her #, but did not. I will have to do so next class.

I got strong eye contact from her, but I was not returning it as well as I think I should have. I was trying to read her body language and was not sure what to make of it. She has her legs crossed and was shaking the foot that was pointing in my general direction. She turned to face me when I spoke to her. Think I did good even though I was feeling nervous.

Convo
M: Hi, what's your name?
H: I'm Mikita, how are you?
M: Good, I got the hardest part of my day done early.
H: haha, wish I could say that.
M (pointing to the list on her notebook): What's that late homework?
H: Haha, no. Its my to do list.
M: its okay if it is getting shorter.
H: No its getting longer.

and that was abotu it. It felt good to do that, but I have the thought in my head that I should have gone for the # close at the end of class.

its very nice to see someone make an effort in life. I was like u, ah probs worst...much worst lmao. Anyways dude tips i can giv u (up to u if u wanna take or not), ditch the playstation, ditch the tv and take up some hobbies eg. dancing, swimming, gym whatever u want, u wud probs meet some people during doing these. This should build up ur social skills and remember always ask something u don't understand or if u have question bothering u ASK SOMEONE.

"hey does this umbrella make me look professional"
"Do u think i should style my hair or cut it"
"what does the rest of ur shirt say *opens arms*.....i can carry water melons... very nice"
"what time is this bar closing"
"know any good bars round here?"

Just b curious and bring everyone else in ur world. This is what worked for me.

Went to a strip club on saturday night with two friends. I was not as uncomfortable as I thought I would be. One stripper talked to me for a minute then thought my female friend was my girl friend.
Having naked female asses rubbing against mine was odd, but nice.

Got the girl's number. I originally was sitting a few seats behind her. I thought wait till after class, then decided to move up next to her. Talked to her a little. Mentioned bad service at the strip club from a stripper that made her laugh.
After class I asked for her digits, got 'em. Said I'll call you. Got a smile from her and her face went red.
Damn glad I did it.

Next on to do list get more girl's #s and improve convo skills.

Good job brother! It's a nice feeling when women acknowledge you but remeber....Dont make this your life! I will look forward to the updates !

Called her and asked if she wanted to study for the final this weekend with me. She said she was going to brazil for a dance thing. I said that's cool I have not been overseas for a while. She said it was her first time. I was like have you looked up the cultural stuff. H: No, why? M: So you don't offend anyone. You can anger them by just your body language. I then went on to giving the peace sign with the palm facing in thing is offensive to the french followed up with a joke about crazy people being born every minute. Which she laughed at.

I was nervous before I called, but glad I called. Hearing her laugh at my jokes made me less nervous.

She seems cool so I am wondering whether or not to call her again. I did not ask when she will get back or get her email or myspace. So I will probably not see her again.

I am like that was a nice learning experience. Let her go and move on.

I have not posted for a bit. I am taking a chem class over the summer. I came in early for class today and a cute phillipino chick was there. I started talking with her and wound up going over the homework with 3 chicks. Got the phillipino girl's number and need to schedule a study session with her.
I was a bit nervous when I asked her #, she then asked for mine.

Made an approach on a chick in class today. I was nervous, but decided to introduce myself. Talked to her a little bit before class started. During class I threw a few paper balls at her and got her to smile. At the end of class I got her number. But I think I may have asked too soon since I had hardly talked to her.

Now I am debating on whether or not I should call her this weekend or wait till I talk to her again in class. Any suggestions?

Demon Wolf said:

Now I am debating on whether or not I should call her this weekend or wait till I talk to her again in class. Any suggestions?

Click to expand...

I think you should wait but not too long you don't want to seem too eager but at the same time you don't want to seem uninterested. Give it the weekend at least. See how she is on Monday.

I will talk to her Monday then and see how things go.

Went in to see my prof and while I was waiting a talked to a chick I am in the class with.
Introduced myself. Talked about learning to be prepared when I was a boy scout after she mentioned forgetting her book. Talked about some other stuff. When I left I got strong eye contact from her before she looked down.
THink I did good on that one.

My fall semester really sucked. Hard classes loss of friends and it just sucked, but I pushed myself through it. As a result of that my confidence took a hit and I withdrew, not the best choice.
Spring semester started last week and I started talking to people right away. First chick I met was some girl named amanda in my first class. I met a few other people throughout the week, no numbers yet, need to get those.