The Difference between dating a prospect and a friend.

J

JackPrescott

Banned
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
860
Reaction score
7
Heres the scenario, and I'm almost 1000 percent sure that the ladies of that other Website will disagree vehmenently.

I ask a woman to a concert. It's a date, that I am asking her out on, not anything but that. She wants to go, but tells me that she is still hurting for the penis of her ex, who dumped her like yesterdays garbage 2 months ago. So for now, she sees all men as "Just Friends"

"No problems, no worries" says Jack. Tix for the show are 69.95, and unless you want to drive, I need 15 bucks for gas, and be sure and bring some money to eat, and have some frozen drinks too, so we can have a good time.

Different Scenario. I ask a woman to a concert. It's a date that I am asking her out on, not anything but that. She wants to go, and tells me that she would love to go, and she is sure that we will have a great time. I ask her to wear some daisy dukes for me, and she agrees.

She doesnt pay for anything.

Thoughts, and feedback?
 
M

MacAvoy

Banned
Joined
May 10, 2003
Messages
2,940
Reaction score
35
Location
Northern Ontario
I think charging $15 for gas is pretty petty and shows how she hurt you by putting you in the FZ and this is your mature way of getting her back.
 
I

IPalindromeI

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 28, 2008
Messages
91
Reaction score
1
Motives aside, I don't see that as too unreasonable. If a girl wants to go somewhere as 'just friends' she should be expected to pay a fair share just like if she were going with a girl friend, or any other platonic friend. Now, you could treat her if you wished, but for her to expect you to pay for everything, particularly since it is a platonic thing would be wrong.
 
P

Purple-Haze

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
489
Reaction score
12
JackPrescott said:
Heres the scenario, and I'm almost 1000 percent sure that the ladies of that other Website will disagree vehmenently.

I ask a woman to a concert. It's a date, that I am asking her out on, not anything but that. She wants to go, but tells me that she is still hurting for the penis of her ex, who dumped her like yesterdays garbage 2 months ago. So for now, she sees all men as "Just Friends"

"No problems, no worries" says Jack. Tix for the show are 69.95, and unless you want to drive, I need 15 bucks for gas, and be sure and bring some money to eat, and have some frozen drinks too, so we can have a good time.

Different Scenario. I ask a woman to a concert. It's a date that I am asking her out on, not anything but that. She wants to go, and tells me that she would love to go, and she is sure that we will have a great time. I ask her to wear some daisy dukes for me, and she agrees.

She doesnt pay for anything.

Thoughts, and feedback?
Click to expand...
There is no problem with expecting a friend to pay their own way. BUT if you offer to take her to the concert and she gives you the friend bit, don't you think it's a little childish to take back the offer and insist she pay? Once the offer is made, you should make good on it.

It shows some class.
 
J

JackPrescott

Banned
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
860
Reaction score
7
Purple-Haze said:
There is no problem with expecting a friend to pay their own way. BUT if you offer to take her to the concert and she gives you the friend bit, don't you think it's a little childish to take back the offer and insist she pay? Once the offer is made, you should make good on it.

It shows some class.
Click to expand...
Negative, Ghostrider, the pattern is full. The offer was made for a DATE not some weird, quasi-friends only thing. A DATE is 110% different. And a prospect with interest gets treated a lot different than a flaky "friendszone" bit*ch.

It's not taking back the offer, she is still getting the benefit of basic companionship for the show, she is just footing her own bill, the way a male buddy would.
 
S

shinko

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 12, 2007
Messages
83
Reaction score
5
I think that it doesnt matter if it is a date or just two "friends" out for the evening, as long as the intentions and who's contributing what is made clear before hand their isnt a problem. She was the choice to decline if she doesnt want to pay anything etc.

If she wants to be a friend, you treat her like a friend. It's not her bday or a special occassion, so it's reasonable she pays something towards the night out.
 
J

JackPrescott

Banned
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
860
Reaction score
7
shinko said:
I think that it doesnt matter if it is a date or just two "friends" out for the evening, as long as the intentions and who's contributing what is made clear before hand their isnt a problem. She was the choice to decline if she doesnt want to pay anything etc.

If she wants to be a friend, you treat her like a friend. It's not her bday or a special occassion, so it's reasonable she pays something towards the night out.
Click to expand...
If she "LJBFs" me, she pays EVERYTHING towards the night, including 1/2 of the gas bill to get there, as I am not Presscot Cab Co. She pays her own ticket, she buys her own drinks, food, ect.

IF she decides to go with me on a REAL date, as my date, she pays nothing, gets drinks and food bought for her, and a free ticket to the show.

See, when women do this, if they are SERIOUS about "just being friends" they should not be upset.
 
G

Gangster Of Love

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2002
Messages
2,578
Reaction score
66
Age
50
Location
Los Angeles
Yes, but is this a show she really cares about going to? If not, she can take it or leave it and don't be surprised if she would cancel. If it is an artist she's into, she'd go to the show even if you didn't invite, so paying for half seems more than fair.

Yes, you do sound like a cryin' baby by takin' the offer off the table. The classier girls would offer to pay their half, wther they want to LJBF you or not, before you even hit 'em up for it, and you would get the chance to decide. But you bringing it up comes across, as others said, as being hurt that she wants nothing with you. Just reporting.
 
G

Gangster Of Love

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2002
Messages
2,578
Reaction score
66
Age
50
Location
Los Angeles
JackPrescott said:
Negative, Ghostrider, the pattern is full. The offer was made for a DATE not some weird, quasi-friends only thing. A DATE is 110% different. And a prospect with interest gets treated a lot different than a flaky "friendszone" bit*ch.

It's not taking back the offer, she is still getting the benefit of basic companionship for the show, she is just footing her own bill, the way a male buddy would.
Click to expand...
That was her way of telling you she is not interested in you. Just let her and yourself off the hook and take it as a no. It will cost you $0.

Why is she a bit*ch? Because she is not interested? She was pretty honest with you. She could have just gone a long with everything, and make you pay, as you would have had it been a real "date", then as you tried to make your move, she would just LJBF you then. She did both of you a favor. If it is a concer you really want to go to, and don't want to go alone, either find a real date or take a buddy or her.
 
J

JackPrescott

Banned
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
860
Reaction score
7
Gangster Of Love said:
Yes, but is this a show she really cares about going to? If not, she can take it or leave it and don't be surprised if she would cancel. If it is an artist she's into, she'd go to the show even if you didn't invite, so paying for half seems more than fair.

Yes, you do sound like a cryin' baby by takin' the offer off the table. The classier girls would offer to pay their half, wther they want to LJBF you or not, before you even hit 'em up for it, and you would get the chance to decide. But you bringing it up comes across, as others said, as being hurt that she wants nothing with you. Just reporting.
Click to expand...
I could personally care less how she takes it.....Just Reporting.....but if they want to go only as "friends" then they pay for their own ****, period, bottom line, end of discussion, if they are ACTUAL dates, they get doors open for them as well as a free ride, comprende amigo?
 
J

JackPrescott

Banned
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
860
Reaction score
7
Gangster Of Love said:
That was her way of telling you she is not interested in you. Just let her and yourself off the hook and take it as a no. It will cost you $0.

Why is she a bit*ch? Because she is not interested? She was pretty honest with you. She could have just gone a long with everything, and make you pay, as you would have had it been a real "date", then as you tried to make your move, she would just LJBF you then. She did both of you a favor. If it is a concer you really want to go to, and don't want to go alone, either find a real date or take a buddy or her.
Click to expand...
A woman did that to me once, and she had to find her own way home after the concert!!!:p
 
S

SunnyD

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2004
Messages
261
Reaction score
5
Well, anytime I have accepted an outing as a FRIEND...I OFFERED to pay my half of everything. You shouldn't have demanded it of her like "ok well I will need such and such to cover this and that..." That's rude...you invited her. I'm sure she would have offered.

And half the GAS??? Come on...that's fvckin petty.
 
M

MacAvoy

Banned
Joined
May 10, 2003
Messages
2,940
Reaction score
35
Location
Northern Ontario
Tell me this, why do you want to be her friend? Especially when you have feelings for her, your going to spend all your time with her, thinking about her sexually and how your not getting any.

I don't see how keeping her in your life is to your advantage.
 
J

JackPrescott

Banned
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
860
Reaction score
7
SunnyD said:
Well, anytime I have accepted an outing as a FRIEND...I OFFERED to pay my half of everything. You shouldn't have demanded it of her like "ok well I will need such and such to cover this and that..." That's rude...you invited her. I'm sure she would have offered.

And half the GAS??? Come on...that's fvckin petty.
Click to expand...
You are a female. In your estimation, because you were born with a vagina, you probably expect the sun to shine on you before other humankind, in the AM. Thats good that you offered and the price of gas is 1/2 of everything.
 
J

JackPrescott

Banned
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
860
Reaction score
7
MacAvoy said:
Tell me this, why do you want to be her friend? Especially when you have feelings for her, your going to spend all your time with her, thinking about her sexually and how your not getting any.

I don't see how keeping her in your life is to your advantage.
Click to expand...
I can handle a sexy female I am interested in, if she only wants to be friends, BUT her sorry ass will be treated diffeerently than an interested female. 1/2..... "Waiter, seperate checks"
 
M

MacAvoy

Banned
Joined
May 10, 2003
Messages
2,940
Reaction score
35
Location
Northern Ontario
JackPrescott said:
Thats good that you offered and the price of gas is 1/2 of everything.
Click to expand...
She's right, you are being very petty. When me & my friends go out, we never ask everyone else to chip in for gas.

You might want to ask her to chip in for 1 days worth of insurance for your car while your at it. Maybe some for your monthly payment as well. See how silly I'm being? Your being that petty because your feelings got hurt.
 
J

JackPrescott

Banned
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
860
Reaction score
7
MacAvoy said:
She's right, you are being very petty. When me & my friends go out, we never ask everyone else to chip in for gas.

You might want to ask her to chip in for 1 days worth of insurance for your car while your at it. Maybe some for your monthly payment as well. See how silly I'm being? Your being that petty because your feelings got hurt.
Click to expand...
All of that would be "ok" by me. With the LJBF crap, I have no mercy. If they really want to be friends, it's 1/2 for EVERYTHING. Including gas. My favorite line when I (rarely) go out with one of these flakes, is "Waiter, seperate checks"
 
P

Purple-Haze

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
489
Reaction score
12
The bottom line is that YOU invited HER. It's quite petty for you to renege on your offer simply because she was honest.

As I stated in my earlier post, had you not asked her on a date, then it's perfectly acceptable for you to expect her to pay. Hopefully, she would have offered to pay if it was a friend inviting a friend to a concert.

Pettiness does not a Don Juan make.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top