When you want them they don´t want you but when you don´t they do?

Have you ever been in this situation?

It might be obvious but some people don´t realize it! When you don´t care about the person you act confident and don´t give a sh1t. However, when you are interested you may act insecure, seek approval, and act needy.

I think that´s what people mean by being mentally strong (controlling your own interest level in a girl).

The idea is to behave the same way towards all girls. Right?

This is why you must let go fo the need for Female Approval.
Let go of the need for Female Validation.

Allow women to be Women freely.

Enjoy their nature, knowing you have the resources, composure, and confidence to handle whatever they do and say or act.
You cannot control them, so dont worry how you are being perceived or how to 'salvage' things.


When she says " Ill call you later."

and you freak out when she doesn't, you are NOT READY.



If you are indifferent, women realize you are NOT NEEDY,.

When you are nOT NEEDY, they realzie you are not a slave to your desires.
And when they realzie you are nto a slave to your desires.
..........THEY REALIZE YOU CANNOT BE MANIPULATED.

Which is a huge turn on to women.

They cannot tame you.

This drives them wild.



Let go of OUTCOME DEPENDANCY.

Enjoy being in the moment.

Eye to eye .
Face to face.

BE THERE Emotionally with her.

Be emotionally PRESENT and Emotionally AVAILABLE to her, and show her you have the RESOURCES and the STRENGTH and the TOOLS to HANDLE her.

This is the ultimate masculine sexiness they crave.
Believe me.



WOmen NOTICE when you are Not going out of your way to get their attention.

However, this is effective for men whom are High Value.

If shes not attracted or interested in you, then it makes no difference.

But if you HAVE Presence and are MAGNETIC...

..watch out. They will scope you out.

I think that if you're in touch with your masculinity, and you see an attractive woman, and you are comfortable with yourself, you are going to be naturally a litle flirtatious. That is just normal. Interecptor talks about this though, the difference between ATTRACTION and INTEREST. Showing that you are attracted, subtly, is key. But when it comes to interest (as in, genuinely wanting to know about the girl) you don't know that until the chick has proven herself worthy OF your interest, and has shown YOU some genuine interest first.

This is how you can be playful, sexual, but STILL detached at the same time. Because you have nothing invested in her. That emotional detachment, to a woman, is challenge. Otherwise you're just a robot. Her goal is to take your subtle sexual attracion and amplify it into genuine interest, and she'll do that by qualifying herself to you. And you qualify by busting her balls/CF/ "show me something new".

For all she knows you're just very comfortable with yourself and women, and the way you treat her is no different than you would treat any woman.
Wait a sec....

Edit--lol, Interceptor chimed in.

Magnetism baby! In light of his post, yes you should be emotionally "there", I guess my point with emotional detachment means "not needy". Then you can be you.

reset said:

I think that if you're in touch with your masculinity, and you see an attractive woman, and you are comfortable with yourself, you are going to be naturally a litle flirtatious. That is just normal. Interecptor talks about this though, the difference between ATTRACTION and INTEREST. Showing that you are attracted, subtly, is key. But when it comes to interest (as in, genuinely wanting to know about the girl) you don't know that until the chick has proven herself worthy OF your interest, and has shown YOU some genuine interest first.

This is how you can be playful, sexual, but STILL detached at the same time. Because you have nothing invested in her. That emotional detachment, to a woman, is challenge. Otherwise you're just a robot. Her goal is to take your subtle sexual attracion and amplify it into genuine interest, and she'll do that by qualifying herself to you. And you qualify by busting her balls/CF/ "show me something new".

For all she knows you're just very comfortable with yourself and women, and the way you treat her is no different than you would treat any woman.
Wait a sec....

Edit--lol, Interceptor chimed in.

Magnetism baby! In light of his post, yes you should be emotionally "there", I guess my point with emotional detachment means "not needy". Then you can be you.

Click to expand...

Well said, Reset!
Bravo, man!!

Really well written!!


Everyone should read your reply.

I hear the female lurkers going : "Yes, yes , YES!! Oh GOD ! YES!!!"

LOL!

It's true. If more guys had this type of mind set, the world would be a better place.

men need to understand the Polarization Effect.


It affects Women, and MEN.

Positive masculinity is the ultimate Goal here.



Masculinity = Skill with Women + Skill at Mission

Lol, thanks man. I'm learning from the best here.

I agree. All the tips are great but if you really don´t get what is behind them, you´ll never have long term success!

Sometimes I feel like Neo when he started to see the matrix through Agent Smith. As said here, it´s not so much about women, it´s about yourself.

Now I know why I couldn´t keep a chick for a long time. At the last years I´ve really stopped chasing and started acting in a more aloof way. This has worked for me (I think my looks helps too as some people always assume I´m getting some ass, I don´t know why, lol).

BP,

you dont sem to be recognizing the influence of your EGO on your thoughts, beliefs, and actions in life.


Actually, let me rephrase that..
You perhaps ARE Recogniing the effect of your EGO, BUT..

..you may not have the tools or desire to separate yourself from Ego Gratification yet.
Much of what we think is 'normal' behavior, is often a NARCISSISTIC point of View, meant to 'keep us healthy', but in fact, inflating our Ego through external means.

Its Ego and Validation in a most unheslthy way ultimately.



Your subconscious has a lot to do with this.


The beliefs you currently have are what are forming your Belief System.
Thus, you ACT on those BELEIFS.

And well....you also act on inflating, gratifying, and protecting your Ego.

Think about it.

So tell me how. My ego is my worst enemy! I know I´m self centered but I´m aware of that and willing to change for the better.

Well, the first step is to use the skill called OBSERVING EGO.

The second step is becoming HUMBLE.

the third step is intertwined with the second,
place yourself in positions where you MUST let go of the ego in order to ADVANCE and PROGRESS.
I say Martial Art training is the absolute lighting speed , quickest way to get there.

I am deadly serious.


Also, by having goals in whih you can ENRICH the lives of others, you begin to get gratification by GIVING , RATHER THAN TAKING.


What do you do that enriches andenhances the lives of others?

if youre not doing that, why not?

If you want to, then think of ways your natural creativity and talents can offer ebenfit to others.

And also, living your Mission keeps you grounded. because you quickly learn that it is benefcial to have allies in life.


EGO brings ADVERSARIES in life.
EGO brings in COMPETITORS in your life.


Being huimble , and open to receiving, and having the self discipline, control, reusorces, personal boundary, and confidence to GIVE only bring s more ABUNDANC Eint your life. And ALLIES whom will help you accomplish your mission or at least support and enhance your life....

Oddly enough, this thread is related.

You may want to read it:

"Self Mastery" by Epic

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1357817&posted=1#post1357817

Interceptor you seem to know a lot man!

Well as for myself, I´m not the kind of man who likes luxury, lots of alcohol, or to have many women coming after me. To tell the truth, I used to be a people pleaser and suffered too much. Strangely enough I have strong evidences my father is NPD/HPD. At work most people praise me for being a hard worker and a good collaborator. I like to save money in case I need it.

One thing people say is that when you use the word ME all the time, that´s a sign.

Interceptor you seem to know a lot man!

Click to expand...

It's all an ACT!

I swear!

LOL!

Really!
Im just a phony! I do this to gratify my EGO!!!
Its true!!

LOL!


No, in all seriousness, I can write huge VOLUMEs of information.
this topic is so wide and VAST.
Mere posts here are usually superficial as you have noticed.


(I just need a little more free time to get this info out to you guys.
Im trying to fit this in when I can.)


BP,

Ego preservation is a learned system.
It is because of a lack of expereinces that help you buld genuine Self Esteem.

Eschew the Ego in favor of building genuine self esteem.


But heres the thing...

If I give you, as Ive been asked hundreds of times before, the Step by Step PROCESS I take away your own power.

Yes, I do.

because you place less imprtance on building your OWN PERSONAL , individual SKill Set and Personal Tools.


So I try to get your critical thinking skills activated, and plant seeds of information for YOU to take initiative and take action on integrating this into your life.

This builds SELF ESTEEM.

Builing Self Esteem BUILDS CONFIDENCE.
Why?

Because you did it on your own.

No one handed it to you.

The 'silver platter' syndrome.
Positive masculinity MUST have COnfidenc in the Equation.

This is simply immutable.
There is no way you can have positve masculintiy without confidence.

You must have confidenc ein yourself in order to habndle the adversities and challenges you will face in life.

You must learn how to HANDLE things.

You NEED Confidence for this.
You must learn how to be self directed.

Learn how to NAVIGATE.
The quest for High Character is a quest for Positive Masculinity.

This Quest will unliock and instill Self Confidence.



When I give you "step by step', I take away your intitiative to a degree.

But when I give you the Concepts and Principles, this shoudl make you HUNGRY.

Hungry for Knowledge it SPARKS you springs you into action, thereby ACTIVATING your MASCULINITY.

I do know a thing or two..

LOL!
Dont underestimate me.
I know what Im doin'!

Lol. I´m indeed hungry for information. I´ve been reading a lot about psychology, personalities, leadership, DJanism, seduction, manipulation (to avoid not to use) and so on.

However, without going to the real life you can´t put the principles into practice. I noticed that I´ve internalized those principles now after this incident with a woman. That was what brought me back here. I can even trace back my weak points and as Fingers said, I was not at the top of my game as I had thought!

Life is hard because not even your parents may help you out. They may be more lost than you are!! We are all by ourselves, and our resources. That´s the journey to know who we really are, and what´s our mission here.

Talking about ego:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=66086

Let go of OUTCOME DEPENDANCY.

Enjoy being in the moment.

Click to expand...

it's been such a long time since I heard these words spoken. Very well spoken inceptor... You really DO "get it".

One thing I do notice about life is this. Those who do get it, are very humble and are willing to teach. The more they teach, the more they learn about themselves. the more they learn about themselves and overcome their own ego, the more self-esteem and confidence they radiate. This is Mastery ladies and gentleman.

I knew a little about it back then, but slowly slipped back to my old ways and here I am a few years later, relearning this stuff!

thank God I found this site.

Reset and Interceptor knocked it out of the ballpark as always.

Remember Blue Phoenix the only person you can control on this planet is yourself.

And in controlling yourself and re-mastering your emotions to serve you rather than work against you and your goals you will get women wanting to be with you and stay with you of their own free will.

Self mastery in all areas is the path to DJ.

Im in this situation every month.

At this point I've given up....its like a mist that keeps floating towards me and when I finally reach out, it retreats. And this happens again and again.

But it seems like when I try Interceptors advice, which sounds like it's the natural way things are supposed to work, girls don't give me the time of day anyways, turning the whole system useless.

Blue Phoenix said:

Have you ever been in this situation?

It might be obvious but some people don´t realize it! When you don´t care about the person you act confident and don´t give a sh1t. However, when you are interested you may act insecure, seek approval, and act needy.

I think that´s what people mean by being mentally strong (controlling your own interest level in a girl).

The idea is to behave the same way towards all girls. Right?

Click to expand...

I could sing a song about that.

It's all about lifestyle though. If you are constantly surrounded by hot women you don't see them as anything special anymore and behave differently...

I was at a club didn't have the nerve to ask or approach any girl, so i walked outside thought about some stuff and just said fcuk it i don't want a girl at all right now. As soon as i walked back in a HB8 grabbed my hand and forced me to dance with her. Wierd but as soon as u let go is the best thing you can do just get ur mind off of it.

These articles talk about the same thing:

http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_300/355_relationship_expert.html
http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_300/320_relationship_expert.html

*Control your emotions