Are You Vulnerable to Manipulation?

Are You a Soft Target for Manipulators?

Read each statement below. If the statement is true or mostly
true for you, circle T; if it is false or mostly false, circle F. Be
sure to circle either T or F for every item. No fence-sitting.

1. I should always try to please other people T F
and make them happy.

2. I have always needed the approval of other T F
people.

3. Other people should be kind and caring to T F
me in return because of how well I treat them.

4. I often feel that I do not have a clear sense T F
of my own identity.

5. Other people should never reject or criticize T F
me because I always try my best to live up
to their expectations, needs, and desires.

6. It is very difficult for me to turn down a T F
request from a friend, family member, or
someone at work.

7. Often, being nice prevents me from T F
expressing negative feelings toward others.

8. I believe that nothing good can come from T F
conflict.

9. I believe that most of the things that happen T F
to me are more in the control of other
people than within my own control.

10. I am always deeply concerned about what T F
others think of me in nearly every area of
my life.

11. I should always try to do what others want, T F
expect, or need from me.

12. I would feel very guilty if I did not make the T F
needs of others more important than my own.

13. I tend to rely more on the opinions and T F
judgments of others than I do on my own
opinions and judgments.

14. My sense of self-worth and value comes T F
from how much I do for others.

15. I believe that people like me because of all T F
the things I do for them.

16. I very seldom say no to anyone who needs T F
my help or wants me to do a favor.

17. I have a great deal of trouble making T F
decisions on my own.

18. I would have difficulty describing who I T F
really am or what I think, feel, or believe
independent of how other people see me.

19. I am easily intimidated by another person’s T F
display of anger or hostility.

20. Other people should never be angry with T F
me because I would go to any length to
avoid conflict, anger, or confrontation
with them.

21. It is extremely important to me to be liked T F
by nearly everyone in my life.

22. I feel that I need to earn other people’s T F
love or approval by doing things to make
them happy.

23. I often say yes when I would like to say T F
no to requests from others.

24. I would go to almost any length to avoid T F
a confrontation.

25. I believe that other people would question T F
my value as a person if I did not do things
for them.

26. I believe that luck, opportunity, and the T F
goodwill of others have much more to do
with what happens to me than anything
that I do by myself.

27. I should always try to put other people first, before me. T F

28. I think it is my responsibility to calm down T F
people around me if they become agitated,
angry or aggressive.

29. I often feel confused by all the feedback I T F
get from others about how to run my life.

30. I want everyone to think of me as a nice person. T F

...

31. I believe that I am usually to blame if T F
someone gets angry with me.

32. I almost never disagree with or challenge T F
another’s opinion for fear that I might
provoke an angry conflict or confrontation.

33. If I stopped putting others’ needs ahead of T F
my own, I would become a selfish person
and people would not like me.

34. I believe that I should always be nice even T F
if it means allowing others to take advantage
of my good nature.

35. I feel that my value is almost entirely T F
derived from the things I do for others and
from what others think of me.

36. I rely a lot on what other people think of T F
me to form my self-concept and self-esteem.

37. I generally have to ask lots of people for their T F
input about nearly every decision I make.

38. I do not think that there is really very much T F
I can do to prevent or minimize negative
things from happening to me.

39. I seem to need everyone’s approval before I T F
make an important decision.

40. I believe that it is best just to smile and T F
cover up angry feelings than to express
them and risk getting into a fight or conflict.

How to Score and Interpret Your Answers

Give yourself a score of 1 for every T you circled. Give yourself a score of 0 for every F you circled. If your score is between 31 and 40, you are extremely vulnerable to manipulation. It is quite likely that several other people have been pulling your strings for most of your life. At this point, you are virtually a guaranteed “soft target” for a manipulator. If your score is between 21 and 30, you are very vulnerable to manipulation. You have likely experienced several manipulative relationships in your life and remain quite vulnerable to further manipulation in the future. If your score is between 11 and 20, you are somewhat susceptible to manipulation. Under the right circumstances, a manipulator could well gain control over you. If your score is between 1 and 10, you are only slightly vulnerable to manipulation. However, you are not entirely invulnerable; nobody is.

If you scored a 0, you are not an easy target for a manipulator. However, you would be unwise to believe that you are completely invulnerable to manipulation. Remember, anybody can fall prey to a skilled manipulator under the right circumstances. It is possible that those circumstances have yet to visit you. Review the statements that you marked true. Think about how each statement might be used by a manipulative person out to gain control over you. In fact, each of the statements represents part of a belief system that forms the underpinning for your behavior, moods, and personality traits. These beliefs are the buttons that manipulators push because they detect them as your vulnerability points. As you will soon understand, the buttons represent flawed ways of thinking that set you up as an easy mark for a manipulator.

*From the book "who´s pulling your strings?"

Let´s sharpen the game boys!

Could this be moved to Tips section?

Thanks man..this is going to help me.