How To Control The Frame

How To Control the Frame


This post is written for the MEN that are only interested in high IL women and will participate ONLY in a relationship played by his rules.

I have always said engage with high IL women only. Low -Medium IL is the cause of flakes, indecisiveness and cancellations. As the relationship progresses, this becomes a speculative emotional investment.

It is often said the one who needs the other the least holds the power and controls the frame. This is the unequivocal truth. This is why I only make secure investments into HIGH IL women.

If you choose to make an emotional investment into a low-medium IL, you may get burned.

Low IL - Low IL- Ends after first date
Low IL- HIGH IL- Continues if one party is willing
MED IL-MED IL- Continues if both parties agree
HIGH IL-HIGH IL- Continues

If your date is anything but HIGH IL, she will have to make a decision to continue. She will CONTROL the frame. You could only hope to bring her IL higher and lower yours to control this frame. This is a speculative investment.

I don't invest speculatively if the rate of return is not higher. This is not good investing.

Scenario A 10 year Treasury Bond - (Par) Annual Return 6% (Backed by the US government)

Scenario B ABC Corporation (Pink Sheets, been in business for 6 months ) Annual Return 6%(Backed by ABC Corp)

Which investment would you make? The return is the same, but the risk is different.

Is time better spent looking for speculative or secure investments showing the same rate of return?

I do not CHASE women. I do not need to. High IL women chase me. I spend my energies finding HIGH IL women who pursue me.

There will be women that seem impossible to gauge. I give these women 3 dates. On the third date if I am unable to gauge her IL, I will let her know "I am only interested in HIGH IL women." If after that she still does not indicate her IL, I drop her. Those women are high risk investments. They do not show their IL. Therefore one day five years down the road , she can DROP you for no apparent reason because her falling IL was never shown.

Ok so now you found a HIGH IL woman. Do not take her for granted. We often run from what chases us. It takes maturity to realize you have a good thing. Just because this woman exhibits HIGH IL doesn't mean she cannot do better. Appreciate your HIGH IL woman.

In the beginning makes your RULES very clear.

"This is what I expect of you............"

She must know she is to play by your rules. Your power is in the ability to WALK AWAY.

Willing to walk away shows you have many options. Options are the backbone of CONFIDENCE. She must know at all times, you have an army of options waiting at your door. She is fortunate enough that you chose her. This is the essence of the prize mentality. You and her both know the reason this relationship exists is because you CHOSE her, not vice-versa.

Going forward, she will press and push your BOUNDARIES. She wants to know if you are for real. This will happen a great deal in the beginning. As the relationship progresses, it will happen less often. This never stops.

Never let her disrespect your boundary, no matter how small it may seem. NEVER!

How does an ant eat an elephant? Bite by Bite.

At the first Bite of your boundary, you MUST address it. If need to be, walk away. She MUST know you are for REAL and she must ALWAYS respect your rules.

You must be WILLING to throw the whole relationship away based on RESPECT to your boundaries. You come first ALWAYS.

INTEGRITY (your rules) TRUMPS RELATIONSHIP.

If you compromise your boundaries, you have lost the frame. The relationship is now over.

At the end of the day making secure investments and exercising them with due diligence will bring you much value, happiness and a great long term return.

Guru..wow. Great post!

This is golden advise.

Ok so now you found a HIGH IL woman. Do not take her for granted. We often run from what chases us. It takes maturity to realize you have a good thing. Just because this woman exhibits HIGH IL doesn't mean she cannot do better. Appreciate your HIGH IL woman.

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I think this is a good point. This is an error a lot of people make, chasing low IL women and running away from high IL ones.

High interest level is the single most important thing in the relationship. When a girl has high interest level in you she will call you, fvck you, put up with your crap. She will over look alot of things because in her eyes you are the prize. Like guru says keep the girls with a high interest level.

I recently met a woman while shopping, she was incredibly friendly,
all over me, almost giddy around me, could not do enough to show her IL
at that early stage. No problem getting her no. after suggesting coffee.

Long story short, I called her starting a few days later. Did not reach her.

Ended up calling a few times, leaving a couple of brief messages.

Never reached her never got a call back.

Wtf? was her intitial display of IL all smoke and mirrors?

Hey Juando- Have you ever watched children at play? I have, and I have seen them on many occasiosn acting all hyped up apparently having the time of their lives. They flit around in a heady display of energy and excitement. Then one day they are distracted by something else . It may be another playmate or another toy and then what do they do ? Their original source of fun and stimulation is abandoned and discarded, and they transfer their attention onto the new source of interest.
Did these children have high IL in the object of their fun in the first instance - or course they did , BUT another object came along and captured their interest.
There is a lot of "child" living in a lot of woman. That is why high IL alone is a poor guide to women's behavior.
It simply is not true that a woman who shows high IL will ,therefor, show up for that first date or even return your calls.

jophil28 said:

There is a lot of "child" living in a lot of woman. That is why high IL alone is a poor guide to women's behavior.
It simply is not true that a woman who shows high IL will show up or return your calls.

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This attitude has helped my mindset at least. It's best to look at women and treat them like children. You have to be the authority figure in their lives. Like with kids, if you are a weak authority figure, you will get your boundaries tested, and if you are a strong authority figure, they will be more likely to follow your program.

Mix this in with the fact that women as adults seem to enjoy the occasional scolding and literally be treated like a child... what can you do? Yes they are "adults" but I think the word "adult" has a different meaning when it comes to men and women. When men and women are together, the man is the ultimate adult and the woman is the kid.

Maybe that sounds messsed up but chicks seem to respond to this mentality and I have no problem implementing it.

main difference being, with a kid your'e stuck with them, with a girl you can just cut her out of your life if she doesn't live up to your standards.

Women "ACT" all grown up but it seems to be a hardened shell they like to show off, but that shell will crack when you somehow touch on their insecurity. When guys act that way we call them boys, AFC, when women act like that they are mature adult women?

Anyway, this is part of how I intend to Control the Frame.

reset said:

Maybe that sounds messsed up but chicks seem to respond to this mentality and I have no problem implementing it.

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ssshhhhh don't tell iqqi (it'll be our little secret)

reset said:

This attitude has helped my mindset at least. It's best to look at women and treat them like children. You have to be the authority figure in their lives. Like with kids, if you are a weak authority figure, you will get your boundaries tested, and if you are a strong authority figure, they will be more likely to follow your program.

Mix this in with the fact that women as adults seem to enjoy the occasional scolding and literally be treated like a child... what can you do? Yes they are "adults" but I think the word "adult" has a different meaning when it comes to men and women. When men and women are together, the man is the ultimate adult and the woman is the kid.

Maybe that sounds messsed up but chicks seem to respond to this mentality and I have no problem implementing it.

main difference being, with a kid your'e stuck with them, with a girl you can just cut her out of your life if she doesn't live up to your standards.

Women "ACT" all grown up but it seems to be a hardened shell they like to show off, but that shell will crack when you somehow touch on their insecurity. When guys act that way we call them boys, AFC, when women act like that they are mature adult women?

Anyway, this is part of how I intend to Control the Frame.

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truer words can't be said

Now I just need some women in my life! I'm tired of only playing authority figure with my co-workers.

All part of the plan. I'm starting to have dreams about "plate spinning" lol.

I recently met a woman while shopping, she was incredibly friendly,
all over me, almost giddy around me, could not do enough to show her IL
at that early stage. No problem getting her no. after suggesting coffee.

Long story short, I called her starting a few days later. Did not reach her.

Ended up calling a few times, leaving a couple of brief messages.

Never reached her never got a call back.

Wtf? was her intitial display of IL all smoke and mirrors?

Click to expand...

jophil28 said:

Hey Juando- Have you ever watched children at play? I have, and I have seen them on many occasiosn acting all hyped up apparently having the time of their lives. They flit around in a heady display of energy and excitement. Then one day they are distracted by something else . It may be another playmate or another toy and then what do they do ? Their original source of fun and stimulation is abandoned and discarded, and they transfer their attention onto the new source of interest.
Did these children have high IL in the object of their fun in the first instance - or course they did , BUT another object came along and captured their interest.
There is a lot of "child" living in a lot of woman. That is why high IL alone is a poor guide to women's behavior.
It simply is not true that a woman who shows high IL will ,therefor, show up for that first date or even return your calls.

Click to expand...

The old debate arises. Do women flake because their interest level is not high enough or because they saw a shiny new object that caught their attention?

If we thought for a moment all women behave this way then high IL could not be gauged. However, some of us have an army of plates at our beckon call. How would this be possible if someone new could catch her attention?

In the beginning, you can only gauge IL by her action. This includes taking or returning your phone call, accepting your date plan and not cancelling. This is the mark of HIGH IL.

Juano whatever the reason was:

-She has a bf
-She found someone better
-She prefers red-haired MEN
-She likes guys with big feet
-Not enough rapport to generate HIGH IL

This is 1 minute too many analyzing WHY?

If a woman does not open the door completely, I will close it.

Her IL was just not HIGH enough.

When I meet a woman with HIGH IL, she will always follow through with her plans and accept every call I make. As well if I do something she does not appreciate, she will bury her head in the sand and pretend it didn't happen.

A woman with HIGH IL will make it KNOWN.

At the end of the day, I have an army of HIGH IL plates that will do anything to please me. It is very important to understand where to invest our time, energies and investments. I choose HIGH IL.

Great post, great responses. Especially the stuff about treating women like children. They WANT a daddy type figure to keep them in line. And they will test you all along to make sure you have the ability to be that guy.

That said, I'm starting to get back into the swing of things, but my problem lately is that I have run across a string of women who are A) flaky to begin with, to me and other people, and B) obviously not high enough interest to overcome that flakiness.

The way I see it, the FIRST thing you need to do with a woman is assess whether or not you are an "A" guy, a "B" guy, or a "C" guy.

"A" guys are getting the pu$$y, or are at least CLOSE to getting it.

"B" guys are stand-by's. The potential for sex is there, but unless you do something to increase your value (or she loses all of her "A" guys and needs attention and validation), you will never get the pu$$y.

"C" guys are in the friend zone.

My problem is that lately I've been either a low "A" or a "B" with too many women.

Hopefully now that my life is getting back in order I can get back to that "A" status with more women.

The old debate arises. Do women flake because their interest level is not high enough or because they saw a shiny new object that caught their attention?

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Those aren't necessarily two different things.

Those are two sides of the same coin.

Yes, women flake when not interested, yet, a woman may have high enough interest level, BUT should there come along something ( could be another man, could be a career move, whatever...) that she has one degree of higher interest in - then that's where she'll go.

Wtf? was her intitial display of IL all smoke and mirrors?

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Some women just enjoy the attention and they act interested and they give you their number but never intend on seeing you again. Those women love having the guy call and call. Feeds their ego. They screen their calls letting them all go to voicemail and never pick up because they've given their number out to everyone.

Great responses.

Honestly, I am still at the point where I get a high from the apparently high IL. I probably need a few more of these fall down-get-up-dust-yourself-off scenarios to be fully immunized.

One of the best aspects, perhaps the best, of my dj re-education program is that these unpleasant skirmishes do an extraordinary job of elevating my respect and appreciation of the few women with integrity.

Still, it just amazes me that there are so many damaged women, running around doing their thing as if their behavior is the way to go.

Unbelievable.

Juando said:

Great responses.

Honestly, I am still at the point where I get a high from the apparently high IL. I probably need a few more of these fall down-get-up-dust-yourself-off scenarios to be fully immunized.

One of the best aspects, perhaps the best, of my dj re-education program is that these unpleasant skirmishes do an extraordinary job of elevating my respect and appreciation of the few women with integrity.

Still, it just amazes me that there are so many damaged women, running around doing their thing as if their behavior is the way to go.

Unbelievable.

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Very well said!!

Juando said:

I recently met a woman while shopping, she was incredibly friendly,
all over me, almost giddy around me, could not do enough to show her IL
at that early stage. No problem getting her no. after suggesting coffee.

Long story short, I called her starting a few days later. Did not reach her.

Ended up calling a few times, leaving a couple of brief messages.

Never reached her never got a call back.

Wtf? was her intitial display of IL all smoke and mirrors?

Click to expand...

This illustrates how a woman's IL can drop if you wait "a few days" to call her. The trick is to understand that this type of initial reaction when the woman is "buzzing" is a VERY temporary situation..
Because her IL went UP so fast it will also come down just as fast if it is not 'fed' again verysoon .
A few days is too long to wait under these circumstances.. I will bet that Juano only connected with her for a short while too.
Secondly ,women are pulled around by a lot of other forces in their lives, Perhaps she talked to one of her G/fs the next days and the G/f "advised" her not to see you again because the G/f is envious or does not have a guy for herself. Who knows.
Numerous other explannations are possible too.
The best way to go is to NOT assume that her initial IL will lead to another date. It won't as you found out. You have to build a connection with her quickly and take advantage of her IL before it drops or before her other life pulls her away.

This illustrates how a woman's IL can drop if you wait "a few days" to call her.

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I can compare women's IL behavior with that I've experienced from women who had definite high interest. Here's somewhat how it goes when you finally call a few days later (in my case, I was making call backs from five days to a week later):

SHE: [delighted and cooing] "Oh hi, Mr. Me! How are you? I was hoping you'd call. I thought maybe you weren't interested when I didn't hear from you. I couldn't tell."

In the preceding days, she's thinking of you, hoping you'd call... if she's really interested. When you do call, she may not like the fact that it took so long BUT she's not going to jeopardize seeing you by calling you on it and putting you off. Not if she's really interested.

You see, to HER it doesn't matter if YOU'RE interested or not. All that really matters is how interested SHE is. Just think... a guy that's interested and calls her within a day or so, if SHE'S not interested in him, him calling that soon won't do squat.

If their IL drops after just a few days, well, then they weren't that interested to begin with. If they did seem that interested originally, then they were either acting OR if they're not interested now because it did take you a few days to call, then they're showing that they're either control freaks or rigid or way too insecure. After all, you may have been out of town, on vacation, sick, tending to your mother in the hospital, working non-stop to finish an important project on deadline, have other dates or have some other prior commitments that precluded you from calling for a few days. It's JUST a FEW days! There's NO law that states a man must call within a day or two of acquiring a phone number and any women who loses interest in you because you did... you don't want her.

jophil28 said:

This illustrates how a woman's IL can drop if you wait "a few days" to call her. The trick is to understand that this type of initial reaction when the woman is "buzzing" is a VERY temporary situation..
Because her IL went UP so fast it will also come down just as fast if it is not 'fed' again verysoon .
A few days is too long to wait under these circumstances.. I will bet that Juano only connected with her for a short while too.

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I started practicing the "3 day wait" rule sort of following the party line.
Lately I've been hearing about waiting 5 days based on the usual don't let 'em see you as eager philosophy.

I get the logic of waiting.

But after this experience Jophil's take on this also totally makes sense.

What's you're guys latest take on this issue?

Like I said, after this experience I'm gonna be leaning towards striking while the iron's hot and save the wait routine for more particular situations.

The 3 day rule was designed for rookies now to show eagerness. A DJ can call sooner because he won't make the mistake of putting all his eggs into this one basket. For the 5 day thing to work, she can't be a player, if she is, she'll have too many branches and will forget about you, but if she's not an AW, and is only seeing you, then you can wait 5 days if you've played your game good enough.

My take, Juando, is pretty much summed up in my last post: A woman who's genuinely interested will be interested five days later, a week later, even a month later.

I'll add this: By NOT calling right away, DJ or not, you permit time to work for you, not against you. Here's how:

You're giving the woman time... time to reflect on you, how she enjoyed herself when last meeting you; time for her to anticipate, savor seeing you again; time for her to wonder about you, be on her mind, "why hasn't he called like all the others?", "does he like me?", "this guy's different than all the others" - All that can make her more interested. She may even call you in that time period. Now she's chasing you - and you haven't even been with her again, much less called her.

If, on the other hand, she's "Screw him! Hasn't called! Who does he think he is?" then giving her a little time did you a favor by weeding her out. She has an attitude. Or as MacAvoy just pointed out, maybe she's a player. Either way, who needs that?

When you do call right away, DJ or not, ***unconsciously*** she still gets the signal: "Hey, you got me! And there's nothing I'd rather do or have got to do then call you right away!!!"

Being a DJ doesn't mean that because you have this wonderful self-confidence and manner about you, that you should ignore how timing can be used to your advantage anymore than you should ignore how to make best use of anything else.