Going Blind into LTRs

LTRs aren't talked about near as much as the single game on these forums, and that's OK. That's how it should be. But one has to ask, why should we not give advice on relationships when we all know we will eventually be in one?

When I say "Going Blind" into an LTR, I mean not reading your situation correctly. I'll give my partial story as to what I did wrong when entering my LTR.

I DIDN'T EVEN LIKE THE GIRL! Sure, she was a smoking brunette who loved to sleep with me every night. That was all she had going for her. Eventually, I started to get to know her and STILL didn't like her. At this point, I started fooling myself into making me believe I liked her. We had some things in common, but there were several FAULTS I refused to see.

1. She was spoiled - Had a brand new BMW, 5 credit cards, and loved to go out to EXPENSIVE places.

2. She had slept with 3 other people I knew - She wasn't a slut, but she wasn't a good girl by any means. I let her obsession for me blind myself.

3. She didn't get along with many women - RED FLAG. I later found out she didn't get along because she was always stealing guys from other women!

4. She was socially retarded - I would bring her out and have trouble fitting her into conversation. Her only comments were "yes!" or "oh ok!".

And the list goes on...

Even after all this, I still somehow convinced myself that I liked her. WHY? Because it felt so good to be obsessed over. She absolutely LOVED me. Would not leave me alone for a second of my day.

Please guys, think a little more before stepping into a LTR. You may feel as if you would never date a girl you didn't truly like, but once you get into that routine of sleeping at her place, going to lunch, etc, IT'S TOUGH TO GET OUT! I can't tell you how much I regret going into a relationship with this girl.

As the story goes, she eventually did cheat on me 3 days after our 1 year anniversary. She broke my heart, but I learned a lot. You can't change a woman. Don't try to convince yourself of something that isn't.

It's been a good while now and I'm over it. I'm loving being single. But this is only so easy because I can look back and see that I learned so much from my mistakes.

Good tip, WC2.

There's nothing better than a good relationship, and there's nothing WORSE than a BAD relationship. The problem is that men, like SOME women allow themselves to be blinded during the infatuation-stage of a relationship. Many mMen often allow themselves to be led by their hormones, emotions, or lack of PRESENT better options (whether the scarcity in females is real, or just "imagined").

The danger in this type of dating strategy is that, like you have said, the "blinders" go on and our objectivity falls off. A man MUST be the Master of his Domain-----and not just sexually, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well.

You have to KNOW what you want in a proposed relationship BEFORE you get into one. And you also, just as importantly, have to know what you DON'T want. And the biggest factor in the decision to advance further with a woman, or choosing NOT to, is the amount of experiential KNOWLEDGE you have amassed about the THAT woman-relationship candidate in particular.

Oh, and one other thing. You are correct that not enough time is spent on this site delving into the subject of KEEPING a woman (in a relationship) as opposed to just how to ATTRACT a woman for a date/One-Nite-Stand, etc..

But for those who are interested in the possibility of ever entering an LTR, I have written at least three indepth, substantive, and hopefully helpful threads that address this very subject.

And they are all listed in my sig below.

Peace...to you.