A lesson learned..

Last night, I broke up with my girlfriend of over 1 year. The relationship was rocky, but I had always thought that we both loved each other. This girl was practically kissing my feet for the first 6 months of the relationship, treating me better than I've ever been treated before.

As the story goes, this very girl decided that a 5 day romance was more important to her than a year of great times, great caring, and may I add great sex.

The moral of the story goes, take a look at who you're with before it's too late. If there are signs that you're partner isn't worth it, don't hesitate to look further into it. Now I'm not saying to be jealous or insecure; That's what you DON'T NEED TO DO. Here are the things that I decided are reasons why my girlfriend didn't stay faithful to me. These qualities are devastating to a relationship.

Self-Esteem - If your partner has little or no self-esteem, they will do anything they can to raise it. My GF though a nice girl, needed attention all the time. In a sense, she wasn't with me because she loved me, but because she was lonely and wanted someone. She really did think that she loved me, but it was really that she needed someone in her life at all times.

Trustworthy - If your partner lies once, give them a chance to explain. If they lie twice, end the relationship. It may sound irrational, but you'd be surprised what one small lie can tell about an individual. My girlfriend's one lie turned into a stream of lies that ended up with her cheating on me and STILL lying to me even when I had all the evidence.

So here it is : Don't let your partner who holds bad qualities in your life. They will ultimately ruin your relationship and leave you with the emotional baggage. GET OUT and leave it with her.

I got out just in time, but I still did take a lot of it to heart. After all, it's tough to see your partner "love" another person more than you. Fortunately, I know that in time she will be miserable far longer than I was. As we speak, she is on her way back. She's going to walk into her apartment and see all the picture on the wall. All the great times that SHE threw away because she didn't have it in her as a person to remain honorable and honest. I really do feel bad for her next potential partner. Little does he know, this cute innocent girl will try to chew him up and spit him out just like she tried with me. Then again, by that time her memory will be just an afterthought to me.

WC2,

I'm glad that you were able to learn a lesson from your relationship. From the way your talking, I can tell you honestly believe in what you are saying. Based on that I know that you will have the strength to not let her suck you back in.

Look at the positives, you've spent a great year with this women, you learnt from it, came out with a fresh perspective and now most importantly, you are free to experience the rest of your life. Your free to get out there and date new women, to learn new lessons and most important of all, to just live and have fun.

damn, im sorry to hear that
I remember you used to talk to me bout your girl before, she was secure, confident, that sucks that it had to end.
but you're right about the very small details. it shows alot

sexy_kuta said:

damn, im sorry to hear that
I remember you used to talk to me bout your girl before, she was secure, confident, that sucks that it had to end.
but you're right about the very small details. it shows alot

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Your mind plays funny games when you WANT to believe something. You will believe anything you want to and anything you don't want to believe, it will filter out. It's natural, we all do it.

WC2 said:

Your mind plays funny games when you WANT to believe something. You will believe anything you want to and anything you don't want to believe, it will filter out. It's natural, we all do it.

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why do we get ourselves in a relationship then, whats the point of it. makes me wonder

WC2 said:

Self-Esteem - If your partner has little or no self-esteem, they will do anything they can to raise it. My GF though a nice girl, needed attention all the time. In a sense, she wasn't with me because she loved me, but because she was lonely and wanted someone. She really did think that she loved me, but it was really that she needed someone in her life at all times.

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I feel for you WC2. I exactly know what you are going through; in fact a lot of us here know that...

Lemme tell you that what you posted above is very very true about most of the women. Mosrt of the women are in relationships becaues they can't stand to be alone... the need to be with somebody is of prime importance. I have experienced this with all my past gf's. IT's scary.

The last time, I was threatening to break up with my X, she cried and pleaded 'please don't leave me, I don't wanna be alone' - this is the crux. (she wasn't even aware she said that) a couple of months down the lane she had branch swinged and treated me like a useless rock. Its amazing how they change over night.

I hope you've learnt a lot and in the future pay very good attention to why ay woman wants to be with you and don't fall for the feet kissing and niceness in the beginning, cuz all of that will just blind you from the truth.

All the best bro.

You seem resolved to end it and start a new part of your life. That is awesome. Maybe this is one of those bad things that in 10 years time will look like it was a gift from above.

Stay strong.

If your girl is unfaithful, you should definitely dump her. But I'm not sure if she was ever really in love. Don't take this to heart, this is just my honest opinion.


You said she was insecure and that's why she always needed attention. Im not sure if i agree with this. I find that insecure girls are really submissive and shy. they tend to be more clingy. since they lack confidence, they're more likely to latch and be obsessive. Anyone agree with this?

Sounds like she's the classic attention wh0re. unfortunatley most girls are like this and it's hard to tell if she's gonna be faithful or not. u said the first 6 months she was all over you. but something must have happened after that. or she's just the type to cheat. good thing u got rid of her

Sandow said:

But I'm not sure if she was ever really in love. Don't take this to heart, this is just my honest opinion.

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At this point, what does it really matter if she loved him or not? He's rid of her, he's moving on with his life and he learnt from his experience. Why try put negative thoughts in someone's head to try bring them down cuz your jaded?

MacAvoy said:

At this point, what does it really matter if she loved him or not? He's rid of her, he's moving on with his life and he learnt from his experience. Why try put negative thoughts in someone's head to try bring them down cuz your jaded?

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wow sensitive are we? i brought that up because i find it hard for someones g/f who's so in love to just throw everything away like that. given the information we have, looks like she was just trying to have fun which can explain what she did.

Women are branch swingers and do it all the time. I don't want to get into an arguement about symantecs and the definition of love. The fact is I can truly love a women and cheat on her.

I did it with my oneitis, and I still chased her like a puppy dog. My point was, at this point, it no longer matters, I've read some of the OP's other threads and he's moving forward, and doing so with his eyes wide open. My point was that so many people take threads and point out the negative.

I just don't see the point when this guy is making positive progress so why bring up the negative.

Great post, OP, you seem to have your head on STRAIGHT.

Don't buy into the myth that all women are branch swingin monkeys. Branch swinging is a sign of low self confidence, and identity issues, weakness.

OP, you seem to already know this.

KUDOS.

Not trying to be negative. He gave reasons why he thought his girlfriend cheated on him and i gave mine. This is a thread right?

Thanks for the replies - I didn't mean to spark any arguments.

Replying to some of what I remember reading -

There is a difference between a shy girl and a girl with low confidence.

A shy woman may not be socially confident, but she knows she doesn't need sex with another person to make her feel better. She has more going on in her life besides seeking approval through sex.

Just because a woman is shy, doesn't mean she has self-esteem problems. Self-esteem problems aren't always obvious right off the bat, but you will notice them as time goes on. She will not trust her own instincts, she will be sneaky to others just because she doesn't want to approach situations head on. For me, it was all there and I chose to turn a blind eye.

And as for Sandow's post - Who knows if there was love there the entire time. To be honest, I didn't love the entire time, but just sometimes. Like I said, I turned a blind eye to things I didn't like. And yes, she was the cheating type. She cheated on her ex-bf twice, which I just found out a week ago or so. It's so funny everyone thinks shes this very shy, nice girl.. too bad the jury is out now.

My next prediction is that she will "date" the dude she was hooking up with. Too bad he lives 4 hours from our college.. so this turns into a reverse love triangle. Meaning, I would not be surprised in the least if she makes an attempt on me again since she is "lonely". This is the pathetic cycle these girls go through.

Moral of the story - MOVE ON! Find better women or just have fun and **** whoever!

Yea messed up man how she treated u like that. All I have to say is move on, I know its easier said then done but its tru. Jus keep lookin n talking, findin women n also doin better fo urself with women n ur own personal life. These girls dont realize how much they are losin when the treat us like that. Thats her lost n karma is a b**** feel me. Move on n sooner or later u'll find the one/ones that u are lookin for YA DIG