Small Victory

Juando

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Hey guys, I am swamped with work so I have been keeping a low profile here, but today I had a small PU victory so I want to share it by way of encouragement.

I went out in a rush to make it to the farmer's market before they shut down, so I'm unshaven, greasy hair, casual clothes- you get the picture.

Still, made a few stops in the area shops where I've befriended some possible female prospects, just to keep the convo chops up.

Then went to the post office to ship a package, where I encountered a very hot not in uniform (she was a "special" helper for the day) early 20's (yes I know, :D ) postal worker. I asked her to "help" me with the self-service machine, which she did while I checked out her....package. Sweet!

I was also blown away by her her personality and quick wit.

So much so that I walked out and thought to myself, what the hell are you doing, not hitting on her??

OK, here's the part I want to share- I SHOULD have hit on her while she was in my space her attention on me exclusively. But I did not for a variety of dopey reasons, including AFC.

Guys, my rejection voice immediately went to work, telling me, you blew it, you've been in situations like this before where you were slow on the draw, went back, and struck out major AFC-style.

But I repeated the "rejection is better that regret" mantra and turned around and headed back. She was with another customer, blah, blah, but I just went for it (Joekker, you'll love this- the LIBRARIAN lady who sorta knows me is standing right next to my HB prospect so she's gonna hear my approach)
...and asked her to meet me for coffee. I tuned out the librarian.

Sure she says, gimme your card and we'll do it next week.
No, I say, when do you get off, let's do it today.

Long story short, she had to work late but she called me twice before she went home, suggested we meet tomorrow or the next day, I have her number, but more importantly, I got good IL, rapport, etc.

When I was debating whether to go back to hit on her, my mind was doing everything in its power to stop me, but my legs did not falter.
I even caught a glimpse of myself in one of the shop windows glass and the reaction was, "are you kidding, you look terrible..." but the legs kept going in the right direction.

I give a lot of credit to many of you here....it's almost as if you were there encouraging me, telling me to ignore my logical mind.

Whatever comes of this, I needed a small win. It's been a little sparse in the validation dept. lately.

The past few months I've been pushing through a lot of my own inertia, fears, confusion about women, often without obvious results, often with negative results.

Thanks for being here and making your presence and your wisdom available.
 
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Interceptor

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That's great to hear, Juando.

Good for you, man.

I'm glad e could help in any way.

I think it's important to also drill into our devious little minds that NOT Approaching is the NEGATIVE side of the decision, and APPROACHING whether it goes well or not is ALWAYS the POSITIVE and CONSTRUCTIVE decision to make.
 

Latinoman

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Juando, this is a GREAT thread and one we needed badly in this Forum.
I am very happy for you. As I read your post, I was putting myself in your shoes...and I will be honest with you...it takes balls to do what you did.

Congratulations.
 

jophil28

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Latinoman said:
Juando, this is a GREAT thread and one we needed badly in this Forum.
I am very happy for you. As I read your post, I was putting myself in your shoes...and I will be honest with you...it takes balls to do what you did.

Congratulations.
I am the same age as you Juando and I can relate . After more than a year posting and reading this board I still get the AFC wobbles sometimes when I am cold approaching -especially the 20 somethings. That ole voice in my head is saying , "She is young enough to be your Daughter - what are you thinking. What will people think ,are you some kind or pervert. ...?" This is all conditioned thinking and I FORCE myself past it and approach anyways. There is NO legitimate reason why we Mature >50 men cannot have 20 something lovers or G./f s .

Last tuesday I go to my regular Dance class where I help out as a part time instructor.
THis HB9 Latin dancer is in my intermediate class.She is european and had that light honey skin and perfect boobs. I take her for a short lesson and do all the usual C and F about how my mother can dance better that her and why is she wearing that "old ladies" sweater and so on. SHe is laughing her a$$ off. THose big brown eyes are dilated and she starts that girly touchy kino stuff that we all know and love.. and followed me around for the next 90 minutes.

I ask her her name and she said, "Zana"...
I say ," With a 'Z' like Zorro ?? " and made that sword Z in the air like Zorro does in the movie,. She is all flushed in the face and her eyes are glistening and she is looking all doggy eyes . She said,' Are you here next week"
I say, "Maybe... you coming regularly now ??"
She nods . I walk off thinking - " Damn I am so bad, "
 
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Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Juando

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Thanks guys!

Good one, Jophil! The age thing is interesting, but the truth is that years ago when I could not use it as an excuse, there were plenty of others at my disposal.

It's an amazing process to learn how to turn on our power, tap into the wisdom that's available in one form or another (in this case, usually our peers), calm the mind, and step into our birthright: our manhood.

In my life I've had mixed results, but even when I did well, when I had incredible success with women, it was largely luck and circumstance, combined with libido (and desperation, also).

This is new: learning how to master, first, our own awareness and then, if I'm right in my assessment of how this works, moving ourselves and and our actions to higher, stable plateaus where we can much more effortlessly repeat and facilitate successes. Exciting to say the least, but I am prepared for two steps forward one back or maybe even one forward two back...

The timing of this small victory was good; tomorrow I spend the day with a 27 yr old cutie who I know is into me but is a challenge in a lot of ways.
I nexted her a few months ago, but she has re-emerged on my radar, projected much IL while I mostly sat back, and honestly, gotten my attention again. She tests me (not **** tests, just by being around) mightily in the AFC dept and in the one-itis dept.

We'll see how much and if the situation has progressed so that I can take it to the next level with her; she's ripe for a lover, and my instincts tell me that if I can connect with her emotions, she's mine. :cool:

It's all a work in progress, gentlemen....and it's good to have supportive and understanding brothers out there...
 

Juando

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Juando said:
The timing of this small victory was good; tomorrow I spend the day with a 27 yr old cutie who I know is into me but is a challenge in a lot of ways.
I nexted her a few months ago, but she has re-emerged on my radar, projected much IL while I mostly sat back, and honestly, gotten my attention again. She tests me (not **** tests, just by being around) mightily in the AFC dept and in the one-itis dept.

We'll see how much and if the situation has progressed so that I can take it to the next level with her; she's ripe for a lover, and my instincts tell me that if I can connect with her emotions, she's mine. :cool:
Just a quick update:

It went GREAT with the 27 year old, I had so much fun with her, lots of intimacy, which is exactly what I want.

I don't know if this situation is an example of plate theory in action, but if it is....woo-hah!. I got a lot of energy and forward momentum from girl A situation and was able to carry it forward to the girl B encounter; I found that I was very comfortable being in charge, asking for what I wanted, feeling comfortable relating. And the great thing was, she also was very comfortable, very available, and in no rush to go anywhere so that we ended up spending two days together.

I can't help but attribute at least in part her availability and positive attitude to my frame. Part of me wants to send flowers to girl A for helping me get in great w/girl B. But I'm sure I'll find a way to reward her. ;)

That's it, just wanted to catch you guys up, especially those of you who have made such a difference for me or those of you who could use positive reinforcement about staying with it even when it's tough. Honestly, I am very aware of how fortunes and fate can shift on a dime but why not make hay while....
 
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MacAvoy

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How about sending flowers to us instead? lol j/k, congrats man, don't worry about being busy and not revolving your life around women, you might not have enough time for 4-5 plates, but the one or two that you go out with, you won't have to pretend your busy all the time, you actually are, your living your life as a DJ. Congrats.
 

Juando

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MacAvoy said:
How about sending flowers to us instead? lol j/k, congrats man, don't worry about being busy and not revolving your life around women, you might not have enough time for 4-5 plates, but the one or two that you go out with, you won't have to pretend your busy all the time, you actually are, your living your life as a DJ. Congrats.
:flowers:
 

MikeYikes122

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This is a really good thread. It's nice to read stories like this.

I've been doing a lot of approaches lately too, just trying to get myself back into the mentality. I spent about two or three years relying too heavily on my social circle to meet new girls and didn't cold approach much during that time period. A lot of guys on this site recommend against relying on your social circle to meet women, and I've learned there is good reason for that.

Anyway, any time I feel hesitant I always remind myself that ducking away and not talking to a girl feels way worse than any sort of bad experience that could arise during a cold approach, whether that's rejection or awkwardness or anything else.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Juando

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I'm definitely in dj school, still learning about the process and about myself.

One thing that I'm noticing lately is the difference between fear of cold approaches and "off days".

An off day is a day where not matter how you slice it I'm just not into making an approach, no matter how hot or how convenient. So I'm learning to accept it: I say to myself, It looks like I'm off today, taking a break, and then I can relax.

Fear is a different thing. Re girl A above, there was fear and there were some pretty good excuses for NOT approaching: I really did not look too good, did not feel too good, it was one of those days when I SHOULD have been off.
But I was able to tell that the main thing that was stopping me was my own fear and self-rejection, and that if I could blow past those things it was worth a shot.

Obviously I'm glad I did blow past my resistance, because the girl had no problem with my "excuses". When I talk to her now she calls me "love".
These details are not just in my head; when I started to interact with her it was obvious that she was not only very desirable but also very sweet. She was doing her job and I was a customer and it could have gone either way but my inner process took me to a place where it was time to sh*t or get off the pot. I actually hesitated which could have blown it but I made the shot on the rebound, lucky for me.

Ultimately, you never know, hence the "rejection is better than regret" mantra.

Now I'm starting to understand why djs need to learn to love rejection.

Rejection hurts, it smarts, it sucks.

But the payoff, when it comes, is Sweeeeeeet.
 

MacAvoy

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Juando said:
An off day is a day where not matter how you slice it I'm just not into making an approach, no matter how hot or how convenient. So I'm learning to accept it: I say to myself, It looks like I'm off today, taking a break, and then I can relax.
This is imperative. I'm going through a perfect example right now. I moved back home, got little prospects but don't really care. A DJ doesn't need to be a slave to the pvssy. When I was younger I was always a slave to the pvssy, I spent all my time away from work chasing pvssy.

Theres more to life than finding the one (which was my mentality when I was under the age of 25.

Another great post in a great thread Juando.
 

edger

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Juando said:
Hey guys, I am swamped with work so I have been keeping a low profile here, but today I had a small PU victory so I want to share it by way of encouragement.

I went out in a rush to make it to the farmer's market before they shut down, so I'm unshaven, greasy hair, casual clothes- you get the picture.

Still, made a few stops in the area shops where I've befriended some possible female prospects, just to keep the convo chops up.

Then went to the post office to ship a package, where I encountered a very hot not in uniform (she was a "special" helper for the day) early 20's (yes I know, :D ) postal worker. I asked her to "help" me with the self-service machine, which she did while I checked out her....package. Sweet!

I was also blown away by her her personality and quick wit.

So much so that I walked out and thought to myself, what the hell are you doing, not hitting on her??

OK, here's the part I want to share- I SHOULD have hit on her while she was in my space her attention on me exclusively. But I did not for a variety of dopey reasons, including AFC.

Guys, my rejection voice immediately went to work, telling me, you blew it, you've been in situations like this before where you were slow on the draw, went back, and struck out major AFC-style.

But I repeated the "rejection is better that regret" mantra and turned around and headed back. She was with another customer, blah, blah, but I just went for it (Joekker, you'll love this- the LIBRARIAN lady who sorta knows me is standing right next to my HB prospect so she's gonna hear my approach)
...and asked her to meet me for coffee. I tuned out the librarian.

Sure she says, gimme your card and we'll do it next week.
No, I say, when do you get off, let's do it today.

Long story short, she had to work late but she called me twice before she went home, suggested we meet tomorrow or the next day, I have her number, but more importantly, I got good IL, rapport, etc.

When I was debating whether to go back to hit on her, my mind was doing everything in its power to stop me, but my legs did not falter.
I even caught a glimpse of myself in one of the shop windows glass and the reaction was, "are you kidding, you look terrible..." but the legs kept going in the right direction.

I give a lot of credit to many of you here....it's almost as if you were there encouraging me, telling me to ignore my logical mind.

Whatever comes of this, I needed a small win. It's been a little sparse in the validation dept. lately.

The past few months I've been pushing through a lot of my own inertia, fears, confusion about women, often without obvious results, often with negative results.

Thanks for being here and making your presence and your wisdom available.
Very inspiring post. Goes to show you that hesitation in front of an attractive woman doesn't always lead to a rejection, the way people make it seem like on the forum. Nice to hear a story about it working in your favor.
 

MrLuvr

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edger said:
Very inspiring post. Goes to show you that hesitation in front of an attractive woman doesn't always lead to a rejection, the way people make it seem like on the forum. Nice to hear a story about it working in your favor.
Why did you have to bump a year and a half old thread??

I was reading this and wondering what the hell was going on because I remember him posting very recently that he was dating a 30 year old chick.
 

edger

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MrLuvr said:
Why did you have to bump a year and a half old thread??
What's the big deal? I looked at it and thought it was very inspiring. Threads are bumped around here all the time.
 
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