I met this girl this past Fri/Sat night..

First, I normally don't post here (I usually only post in the fitness forum) but in light of the following here goes..

The awesome:
I met a smokin 22yo chick who wanted nothing more then to fcuk each others brains out. Holy Christ.. every room in just about every position, orgasms galore for both of us. This took place Fri night to mid day Sat. This blew my mind in so many ways.. I was beginning to believe that women having a libido like a man was a myth which I see now is SOOO not true! Omg.. I could go on and on about how it totally :rockon: 'ed but you get the idea. She also is giving me the idea she doesn't want this to just be a one time thing (not a relationship but fuzk buddies ftw!)

The cons:
Besides her living an hour 20 away from me.. I also do NOT like to compromise my rules and steps toward my goals for any reason. However to achieve the awesome listed above I did the following.. I called out from work Friday claiming to be sick (lied so I could get ready to meet her) and my working out plans for those days got dumped and my diet that I've been working on became secondary (other then me just trying to keep my energy up by stuffing my face during sex breaks).. yep my diet went to sh1t.

Now, I went into this strong, in control and had no compunction with having just sex (I've done it before and will again). However (here lies the rub) sex aside we have a good amount in common and she was really fuzking fun to hang around! She responded very well to my touch and was very loving (not in love.. loving. Big difference). The problem is this came so out of the blue and even though I was prepared for some awesome sex with no complications, the fact is she is such a phenomenal lover, I was loved, accepted and validated like no woman I've ever been with before.. She was open, I was open.. and she really touched me. This has blown my fuzking mind. I started thinking of how I can make her my gf.. how this could work out..

I of course kept these feelings/thoughts hidden from her but after I dropped her off I actually had tears of joy (call me gay, whatever). I think inadvertently she healed me of some issues I had with my ex.. Anywho I know it was just sex and not love (I don't love her and she doesn't love me) but my mind was all kinds of dizzy from it all. When I got home I have been trying to get my head grounded back into reality as I was sucked into her world of pleasure for almost 2 whole days.. and I needed a REAL grounded perspective to view things with. I mean the though of all the fun puts a nice sh1t eating grin on my face but the emotional aspects of it I'm still wrestling with.. but I am regaining control as I'm plugged back into my reality.

As I see it, it was fuzking phenomenal and an awesome experience and one I'll gladly do again if the opportunity presents itself .. but since I compromised my rules I sacrificed some of my strength and gave it to her.. in a way I put her a bit on a pedestal of sorts (ok thats a bit oversimplification but you get the gist).. which is retarded and I know better.

btw- I know if I'm going to have a fwb relationship with her it has to be spaced out.. maybe once a month and I need to see other women so as not to get all starry eyed.

Thoughts? Ideas? Have you been here?

Typically people who just want to f*ck (fwb, f*buddies) don't post stuff like this. If you want want more, typically it is the girl who will want to see more and more of you doing domestic stuff (grocery shopping, cooking, shopping) who wants more out of the fwb relationship. It really does not work the other way around.

I think inadvertently she healed me of some issues I had with my ex.

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Probably it's more along the lines of that she's *distracted* you from those issues.

since I compromised my rules I sacrificed some of my strength and gave it to her.. in a way I put her a bit on a pedestal

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You gave up yourself. You lied to get off of your work in order to be with her, you gave up your regimen of diet and exercise to be with her. A "bit" of a pedestal? Try a frickin' monument of a pedestal. I hope you didn't tell her you took off from work to be with her.

Hey, you know what's probably going to happen when you do that stuff. You know how it ends. So don't put her on a pedestal, don't give yourself up, create a little space, she'll desire you more, and do your happy joy joy dance of tears when you're alone and don't let her see that side of you.

don't take this the wrong way but are you over 25?

this sounds more like a dillemma an 18 year old would have.

betterthandead said:

Typically people who just want to f*ck (fwb, f*buddies) don't post stuff like this. If you want want more, typically it is the girl who will want to see more and more of you doing domestic stuff (grocery shopping, cooking, shopping) who wants more out of the fwb relationship. It really does not work the other way around.

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Yep, and I did just want that.. but had so much fun and so much sex, my brain as I was taking her home, was compulsively thinking of ways to make a relationship work so as to make her mine, even though I know thats fuzking stupid/irrational thinking for many reasons (especially since I don't even know her really).

As for the domestic stuff we did some cooking and she talked about going food shopping with me.. There were a lot of hints to that possible end on her part but not from my part but who am I fuzking kidding.. she lives over an hour away (did I mention she doesn't even have a car right now?).

Jokerr:
Yep, I'm 30.

Mr. Me:
More like she's given me what my ex never would. Now I haven't had sex with that many women, only about 20ish but of those none had a libido like this one. She's given me hope that such women exist. Thats what I was getting at.

Your right with the pedestal.. very right. As you pointed those things out, it occurs to me that she could have easily viewed that I was willing to compromise for her.. and thus susceptible to manipulation, thus making me weaker. In any event, its better for me to be true to myself by not compromising who I am and what I want (goals). Damit.. I know this stuff and I believe it.. I just slipped up.

I.A.F.Y.B.:
Nope.. no problem with being fb with her. If this does happen again. It may or may not. If it does then cool, if not then I'll find another.

All of ya:
Thank you all for all your comments! They helped my mind to snap back in its proper place. What had happened is she told me about her past and I related a lot.. I actually temporarily fell into the trap "this one is different" mentality. Yeah my mind was in the wrong place big time.. the worshiping women, lets go grab my armor and horse to rescue BS place.. *frustratedly shakes head* I've been there, done that and burnt the T-shirt. I know thats not me or what I want but I had a relapse *cringes*. How did I get here then? Its because I wasn't dating since my last ex 6 mo ago and after this I know I'm definitely ready and need to get my ass back into the thick of it and play the field (not looking for a relationship.. but looking for fun).

none had a libido like this one. She's given me hope that such women exist. Thats what I was getting at.

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That's what you mean by "healing your issues you had with your ex"? Okay. I'll try healing the issues I had over my ex wife that way too. Though I'm not sure my therapist will be willing. But I'll ask him...

Mr. Me said:

That's what you mean by "healing your issues you had with your ex"? Okay. I'll try healing the issues I had over my ex wife that way too. Though I'm not sure my therapist will be willing. But I'll ask him...

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'An issue' I should have said..

lol though.

Mr me:

I just wanted to ask you (and anyone else who wants to add their 2 cents) to see if I'm playing this right.

You said "give her some space."

Now since Saturday, we communicate online and she has been the one initiating conversation, and I'm the one ending them (telling her I have to go because of X or Y. Not lies.. I just have sh1t to do). She usually reads and comments about my away message.. I have gotten back to her when I was not around and she messaged me originally however (I see this more like returning a phone call or should that considered initiating too?). In that light I have not initiated conversation save once where as she has 4 times.

So is that what your talking about? (not going after her.. but letting her go after me) or should I just well.. not be online as much so I'm not as available through that means? (I'm home sick so I have some free time.. but that doesn't mean I can't be "busy"). Also if this is the case that I should just not be online (which is what I do sporadically anyway), how long should I vanish for?

I also know I need to make sure I talk less about me.. and more about her always, give as little to no details about what I'm doing/up too as I can so as to make me more a mystery. Sound about right?

In retrospect on Sunday I fuzked up (when I was in my mental relapse state) emailing her saying "btw - Thanks for the pleasure of your company. Your a phenomenal lover". In an ideal world one could be open like this.. but in reality well.. I just gave her more frekin power and inflated her ego. I AM THE PRIZE DAMN1T! *shrugs* oh well. Also yep as expected.. I got no reply from her when I said this so that just furthers my belief in my error about making that statement.

She still messages me so I'm guessing even though I've f'ed up the frame its not unrecoverable??

Our last bit of conversation ended like this:
Me: ttyl
her: ttyl
her:
(sure its not definitive evidence.. but it might be something I guess *shrugs*)
In any event I plan to analyze my actions/reactions with regards to handling this female so I can observe my mistakes and improve.

What I know definitely is to never compromise what I want or who I am.. again. In the process I make myself worthless and give the other person all the power. I am the PRIZE DAMN1T! I won't make that mistake again.

LOL.. I look back just even a few days and what a frekin afc I can be, but I want/will/am changing/learning. :yes: Any advice is appreciated.

>> she has been the one initiating conversation, and I'm the one ending them (telling her I have to go because of X or Y. >>

Ending everything first is good. You don't even give her an excuse. "I have to go now, k? Talk another time! Bye." Why? Mystery. When women hear excuses, they sound like excuses to them, and gives their minds fodder to fester on. Everything means something to them.

>> She usually reads and comments about my away message >>

This is one reason I, personally, don't like talking to women on the phone. The things they want to talk about are probably better off spoken to with their girlfriends than with me.

>> So is that what your talking about? >>

Not to overwhelm her by calling her every day. Multiple times a day. Wanting to see her all the time, be with her a lot. That sort of thing. Create space. She calls, you call back the next day, so as not to be rude. She emails you, wait a day then email back. Space. Then don't call anymore unless you're calling her to make a date. Don't stay on the phone long when you do. Then don't talk to her until the date. Space. Don't see her often, maybe once a week. Space.

It's like building muscle. The actual growth happens between workouts, so you have to space out the sessions.

>> I also know I need to make sure I talk less about me.. and more about her always, give as little to no details about what I'm doing/up too as I can so as to make me more a mystery. Sound about right?>>

Oh yeah. Keep her talking. Actively listen, and keep turning the conversation back to her. Say "uh huh" now and then or nod your head up and down. She'll love you for it.

>> emailing her saying "btw - Thanks for the pleasure of your company. Your a phenomenal lover". >>

That sort of compliment belongs when you're in a relationship, not at the beginning stages, and even then, use it sparingly. Don't send emails thanking her for her company. At the end of your dates, you say something like, "Hey, this was fun!" and that's enough, you don't have to send another "thank you" about it. That's overkill.

In the beginning stages, you want her to say it to you anyway. Actually, I'm of the opinion that if you're looking for long term, you don't get intimate right away. People get intimate before they build real bonds and then they're in over their heads.

When you pay these compliments, the underlying message you're sending is: "You got me, baby! I'm yours!" and that's when you become just another guy to them, just another admirer like all the other guys she's dumped. You want it so that she can't tell if you're that into her or not, because you just won't tell her. That drives them nuts.

Girls will say to me, "You're hard to read!" or "I can't tell what you're thinking" or things in that vein. When I started hearing that, it made me wonder why they would bother telling me so. I think it's because guys are normally really easy to read, like puppy dogs are. Girls are so used to being able to read guys, that when one comes along they can't, they get flustered and perplexed and aren't used to that at all, so they have NO idea what to do, so they end up voicing their confusion, because they need an answer. The confused look on their faces is priceless.

Space is what gives them the time to talk to their girlfriends and say things like "He only sees me once a week!" or "He never tells me what he's thinking!" which guys think is a bad thing, but it's a good thing, because it shows you're on her mind! And she's trying to figure out what she has to do to get you. And, as long as she's in that mode, she won't dump you.

As things progress, and I'm talking a couple of months later at least, you give her a little affection here, a little romance there... they eat it up. It's like a reward.

>> She still messages me so I'm guessing even though I've f'ed up the frame its not unrecoverable??
>>

Yeah you're probably still in the running. You just have to be more on your guard the first couple of months, that's all. "TTYL" is fine, that's nice and vague, it doesn't promise when or even who will call who. Keeps you on her mind wondering when you'll call again and why you haven't, and builds more interest.

Sometimes there is a great satisfaction to just let you body go to hell from time to time (as long as you can get back into discipline again).

From my experience...my six pack and slim muscled body went to hell after having sex 2-4 times a day (couple weeks out of the month for the last 6 months) with the new woman in my life. And drinking and eating too. Not fat...just out of shape. But I like puzzy a LOT more than I like six packs...so...now...I know I will go back to the discipline of having my nice body back and it is going to hurt like hell when I do. But these past six months of sex, eating, and a LOT more sex have been great.

My point is: Do you think I care if I get out of shape for a FEW months if the by product of that is having WILD/GREAT sex several times a day for several days? Hell no!

As long as I get the discipline to get back into shape.

What attrack woman is NOT your hot body...what attrack woman is that thing they see in your face after you have LOT of great sex with a HOT SEXY woman. They can smell that confidence and internal knowledge 100 miles away.

Just don't get fat and unhealthy in the process.

Note: If you are 30 and she is 22...how can you two have lot of things in common? Makes no sense to me.

I think it's important to recognize the difference to succumbing to the "Power of the Pvssy", and just letting yourself go for a very short time, having fun, but definitely NOT under her control.


I'm sure everyone can agree that the BEST circumstance is having great self discipline, so you can sex the chicks at your lesiure and still maintain a killer physique, diet, and workout program as well as your Mission as a Man in life.
It is a good feeling to sit back and say "It is GOOD to be the King."

Interceptor said:

I think it's important to recognize the difference to succumbing to the "Power of the Pvssy", and just letting yourself go for a very short time, having fun, but definitely NOT under her control.


I'm sure everyone can agree that the BEST circumstance is having great self discipline, so you can sex the chicks at your lesiure and still maintain a killer physique, diet, and workout program as well as your Mission as a Man in life.
It is a good feeling to sit back and say "It is GOOD to be the King."

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If you are phucking in the morning...go to work...come back from work and phuck 2 more times...your time would be limited. As long as you made her know that you are planning to hit the gym in the near future like if it was no tomorrow to get in GREAT shape for the summer and that sex might decrease a little due to that (something has to give and certainly is not going to be my job)...you should be alright.

The idea is not to get fat and still hitting the gym from time to time to stay relatively in shape. But it is VERY important to sex the heck out of your girlfriend during the first 2 or 3 months. Put her in a blitz state that no ONE can compete over you. And then let her watch you go back into your discipline and retransform your body from athletic to GREAT shape. That is when you can get a little distance and "cold"...but for a great cause. And it is not going to be viewed as "playing games". It is going to be viewed as discipline. She will be already be hooked.

Once again...do NOT get fat. And do not quit the gym. Still go from time to time to stay in shape.

And then bring her to the gym with you for a VERY DISCIPLINE work out.. Or the 12-16 weeks high intensity work out. Decrease amount of sex as something has to give...and if she feels tired...you simply get up and go alone.

Sex is very important...exploring and understanding her body too. It takes "work" to do that. It also put you in a league of your own.

The last two relationships caught me when I was relatively out of shape. The first one saw me go from that to GREAT. And of course, I had to sacrifice some sex in order to accomplish that...but she was already hooked. This one knew me from when I was with the other so she has seen me in shape. Hooked up with me when I was kind of "off" and it is going through the same.

Guys...in my opinion...it is VERY important to pay attention to a woman very early in the relatioship to shape the foundation. And then eventually...start decreasing some of that attention...and then bring it back up. It is like a roller coaster for them. But do that to the ones that are worthy (I would NEVER sacrifice my work out for an unwhorthy woman)...at the end it will pay off.

Thanks all!

Mr. Me,

There will definitely be some space there lol (as she lives 1 and a half hours away and doesn't have a car). I'm also not needy (despite my initial afc'ness) so I don't/won't message her too often. I don't' see, seeing her more then every 3+ weeks maybe once a month or more due to all the driving.

As I look at her I see her as a big fixer upper job, lots of baggage and I don't want that. Thats what I tried with my last ex and yep.. doesn't work at all (although this one loves sex and has an awesome body which is a plus, thats not enough for a relationship). So I DON'T want anything more then friendship and sex from her right now (my head is clear now).

In that light does your mention of romance still apply? I'm assuming that it only applies if I want to head toward a relationship, yes? or does this act as bait keeping her around?

<< As things progress, and I'm talking a couple of months later at least, you give her a little affection here.

I'm naturally a tactile touching person from hugs to rubbing ones back (I'm not talking needy touch here). When you say affection do you mean to also limit this as well? or are you referring to other types of affection?

Thanks.

Latinoman:

First when I said things in common it was more like I could relate to her difficult life as so have I (then again who hasn't had a phucked up childhood or tons of crap they had to swim through to get to clear waters so to speak) Also she acts cute and goofie.. this had me going gaga with afc oneitis at the time. Not to mention I can't say I know her really well so I CAN'T say we have a lot in common (loving to phuck isn't a LOT in common).

However as my head is clear now it really factors down to this:
Me: good job, I own my condo, stable financially and emotionally, responsible, reliable, found my self, have goals and improving who I am.
Her: no job, no car, no cell phone (shes currently moved back/living at home) may decide to go full active duty in the military (hence vanish from living around here), seeking a divorce but still married (hence moved back home), low self esteem.. and has other issues I'm not privy to just yet I'm sure.

I mean she has potential but needs a lot.. let me stress that a LOT of work (and I'm through being a girls mechanic).

This won't keep me from phucking her however as long as she doesn't go spastic psycho girl on me.

I see your point about enjoying and indulging in the wild sex and the issue I had with it was cleared up by interceptor.

As for your second post, I take it what your getting at is one can have their discipline and eat their puzzy too so to speak.. as long as they budget their time between their wants (sex, exercise, diet, work, +etc). Well not only that but to also in effect be the best lover one can be.

Also I am not planning to quit the gym nor to get any fatter (my bf at the moment is about 20%) but it will decrease. I have my plan and diet schedule.. which I will continue once again as soon as this damn flu leaves my system. That is a horse I plan to ride till I get what I've always wanted and never had.. a low bf and a nice physique. I will get there.