Low Interest Level

I have 4 plates now, of which 3 of them I have moderate-low to very low interest level.

I find that alot of the posts that are made such as "She flaked on me", "Give me some space", "I can't make it tonight", "Not initiating or returning calls", "Disappearing for a while", "Let's slow it down", etc. are all actions I initiate when I have low interest in the girl.

For the girl who I have high IL, I never flake, disappear, or cancel plans.

The Low IL girls say to me "Why does it seem you are playing games?". The fact is, I am not. I am just not that into her.

There is alot of analysis of why girls act a certain way. If you have to figure out why, then 99% of the time they are just not that interested. Move on.

Truth of the matter, it doesnt matter what these low IL girls do strategically, I will never be into them.

So I say, if your plate's actions are not of HIGH IL, tell her "Have a nice day!".

For the girl who I have high IL, I never flake, disappear, or cancel plans.

The Low IL girls say to me "Why does it seem you are playing games?". The fact is, I am not. I am just not that into her.

There is alot of analysis of why girls act a certain way. If you have to figure out why, then 99% of the time they are just not that interested. Move on.

Click to expand...

I agree 100%

:rockon:

rollo has said the same thing like a million times. its bang on the money.

rollo's overt versus covert communication is also applicable here and bang on the money as well.

guys like to think that women are all complicated. they are only complicated in that you can't trust anything they SAY. their words mean NOTHING. actions are everything.

a woman who flakes, doesn't return your calls, stops giving you sex, starts criticizing you regularly, flirts with other men in front of you, spends your money, etc. is telling you that you mean very little to her. you are basically the 'boy toy' of the moment (at best).

but unfortuantely a lot of guys on here want to believe that unless a woman tells you that she has low interest level that she is probably just playing 'games'. 9 times out of 10 she just doesn't care. the only reason guys see it as 'game' is they don't understand why a woman would even bother with a guy she wasn't interested in - why not just tell him she's not interested. and hence we return to RT's point - women communicate covertly.

moreover, this goes to a theory i've put forward many a times on here (and which most people disagree with). most women DO NOT have 20 guys fawning all over them. they just don't. so many of them will keep a guy 'around' even when they have low IL in him because they dont have any other options! i mean, think about it, if they had 5 studs vying for their attention, why would they even bother with a guy they weren't interested in.

one of the absolute worst notions that permeates this site (in my opinion) is the notion that women are getting approached by quality men every day. its utterly absurd and so not the case.

I am not of age so I understand if this post is deleted. I just wanted to throw my opinion into the ring and why i think this thinking is at times flawed...

P.S. This post addresses chicks that have low IL in you, and not chicks you have Low IL in. (Although with some seducers, the former leads to the latter, and if so, disregard this post)

There are definitely chicks that are a waste of time/money and do not deserve a second glance or a second chance. And while you cannot plausibly expect to make every girl have a high IL, that is not to say that those with low IL cannot be attributed to something you lacked or overlooked in your seduction. For example, if the target is in love with someone else, the budding seducer chalks the Low Interest Level up to extenuating circumstances, while the mature seducer (as in skill-level, not necessarily age) even with rejection, realizes that there had to have been signs (no matter how subtle) and there were ways to get her IL up that he failed to execute.

Admittedly, someone new to the game should focus on his niche or the area where he expects the most success to boost his confidence and so that he can crawl before he walks. Trying to decipher where you went wrong every time you get stonewalled, without years of of experience, will only lead to negativity. However as your game matures, so should your diversification of targets in or around your area of expertise before it becomes even more focused.

Instead of addressing the issue that has caused her to have low IL, your post (and the general consensus of plate spinners @ SS) says to next her and stick with your high IL girls. The problem of why the girl(s) had Low IL is never addressed, but swept under the rug. It is to no surprise that over the years you would start to see a pattern that the kind of chicks you are successful with all have similar traits, and on the other hand, the kind of chicks you get low IL with all end up with the same characteristics. That leads seducers to create the (false) belief that their game only works on certain girls or they can't get along with girls who arent [fill in the blank].

IOW, to summarize, in order to be a well-rounded seducer, (which imo is the goal of studying seduction as opposed to being extremely well with women who fall into a certain category) you need address the problem of Low IL instead of nexting chicks with it.

There are numerous reasons a gal would have low IL, or no interest at all, and there's no way any man can create higher IL in every case, because it is out of his control. I mean, if she's not attracted to you because you're a red head, or Pakistani, or not in her age range, or on a mission to marry a Doctor and won't be sidetracked, or she's totally in love with her boyfriend/husband, or whatever, chances are she's not going to take to your "seduction". Not unless she's insecure, desperate. lonely, bored or looking to make someone jealous. No one man can seduce every woman. Seducers know they need to select their targets. You could try to figure out why a woman in deep love with another man failed to be seduced by you and reason that you didn't use sufficient kino, but I'll bet the real reason would be because she's totally in love with someone else, rather than you didn't touch her hair or forearm or look into her eyes enough.

You'd have to also explain *why* it makes sense spending your time and resources on a low IL gal in order to maybe, maybe, some day, perhaps, in time, get her IL up a bit, when you could be using that time either finding or on a gal with higher interest to begin with. Time is your life's most precious commodity.

If you get a low interest gal, you're going to get flaking, mixed messages, all the stuff that low interest generates. If you get her up a bit in her interest enough that she stays with you, you'll end up with a woman who nags you, refuses sex, isn't affectionate, has power struggles, flakes, blah, blah. But a gal who's *really* into you, whose interest is sky high, will jump in your lap, cook you dinner, do whatever you want to do just to be with you. Since it's nearly impossible, not realistic, to encounter women who are THAT into you from the first time you meet, to get to that sky high level of interest you need a better interest level footing from the get go, rather than starting at zero.

joekerr31 said:

one of the absolute worst notions that permeates this site (in my opinion) is the notion that women are getting approached by quality men every day. its utterly absurd and so not the case.

Click to expand...

The fact that they aren't being approached by QUALITY men is beside the point. Anyone can put up a good front and often that is all a woman needs to sustain her. A good amount of attention coming from a small group of men, or a little attention coming from a whole bunch of them can provide a woman with most of what she "needs".

The point of this post is true though. If she's interested she WILL follow through, this is DJ 101.

There are numerous reasons a gal would have low IL, or no interest at all, and there's no way any man can create higher IL in every case, because it is out of his control. I mean, if she's not attracted to you because you're a red head, or Pakistani, or not in her age range, or on a mission to marry a Doctor and won't be sidetracked, or she's totally in love with her boyfriend/husband, or whatever, chances are she's not going to take to your "seduction".

When a woman says that she does not sleep with men on the first date or tells you that she is not having sex with you tonight, what do you do? When she says 'isn't that kind of girl' or that "we just met each other", do you, as a seducer, next her automatically or do you just take these things at face value, understanding that these things women often say as a reflex and that they can be changed easily? With LMR, do we as Don Juans throw in the towel when she stops our hands from reaching under her pants or do we take it as a sign that she needs to be stimulated more before we make the move for the panties again? Why should these statements be any different then her rule about dating doctors or whether you are Pakistani or not? It is all about Eliciting Values. If she says she only dates doctors the next logical step as a seducer is to find out WHY she only dates doctors. Possibly because she equates spending money with showing how much you love someone. Even then, you do not throw in the towel, you find out WHY she thinks spending money equates to love, and then if you feel comfortable with the answer she gives and can do it easily, you do it, and surprise surprise, being a doctor didn't matter at all. At the risk of sounding cliched it is like the movie Hitch, starring Will Smith states:

No matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom.

Click to expand...

Not unless she's insecure, desperate. lonely, bored or looking to make someone jealous. No one man can seduce every woman. Seducers know they need to select their targets. You could try to figure out why a woman in deep love with another man failed to be seduced by you and reason that you didn't use sufficient kino, but I'll bet the real reason would be because she's totally in love with someone else, rather than you didn't touch her hair or forearm or look into her eyes enough.

I am getting a woman to change her mind. I'm sure everyone reading this has had their heartbroken and thought they would never love again, but they did. We tell our fellow posters to GFTOW when they get one-itis yet based on our reasoning, women are supposedly immune to being seduced when they love another? Come on! Giving you a chance to seduce them does not make them 'jealous', 'insecure' or 'desperate', that makes them human because emotions and the ability to have them manipulated make us human (and susceptible to seduction). Lets take the analogy of a used car salesman because you are selling yourself to women even if you are the prize: A woman comes in with their mind set on buying Car A. The salesman does not feel that they are entitled to buy Car B because it is his favorite and he knows that she will still be happy with Car B, he has to SHOW the customer why Car B is just as good if not better than Car A, or at least worth more than a test drive. By dropping women with Low IL, imo you are telling yourself that you didn't want to sell Car B to the customer when we both know you really did, AND you are telling yourself sub-consciously that maybe Car A is better than Car B

You'd have to also explain *why* it makes sense spending your time and resources on a low IL gal in order to maybe, maybe, some day, perhaps, in time, get her IL up a bit, when you could be using that time either finding or on a gal with higher interest to begin with. Time is your life's most precious commodity.

I agree wholeheartedly. It does not make sense to spend time chasing women with Low IL women instead of High IL women, and there comes a time when they are a lost cause. But, as I said before, just nexting a Low IL woman does not solve the problem, it only sweeps it under the rug. If you get in a relationship, the problem will not arise until the two of you break up (acutally, it could be the reason you break up, think about it....) but if you are spinning plates, what about the next time a Low IL woman pops up? You did not attempt to handle the problem or understand it, so you are right back where you started. What if you like this chick more than the last chick? What if this woman has a certain something about her that makes her irresistable?

If you get a low interest gal, you're going to get flaking, mixed messages, all the stuff that low interest generates. If you get her up a bit in her interest enough that she stays with you, you'll end up with a woman who nags you, refuses sex, isn't affectionate, has power struggles, flakes, blah, blah. But a gal who's *really* into you, whose interest is sky high, will jump in your lap, cook you dinner, do whatever you want to do just to be with you. Since it's nearly impossible, not realistic, to encounter women who are THAT into you from the first time you meet, to get to that sky high level of interest you need a better interest level footing from the get go, rather than starting at zero.

I agree that High IL women are better than Low IL women, but the point I'm trying to make is that the Low Interest level is often (incorrectly) attributed to the target so that the seducer abstains from responsibilty for the Low IL. The fact is that the woman has IL because YOU missed something as a seducer and the result is a woman who doesn't return calls, plays games, etc. She has 'proven herself unworthy of your time' but the fact of the matter is, she could have easily been a High IL woman if you had gamed her differently.


It is hard because the seducer has to tread a very thin line of knowing that he is a catch and desirable, but at the same time, not being content with feeling entitled to have a high interest level from jump. I think it is important to remember that seduction is about getting someone to do something that you want them to, not finding someone that is willing to do it already. That is not to say that there is not seduction involved in a woman who has high IL, but I feel that users are discrediting the potential for seduction for women with Low IL.

Also, by not addressing dealing with women with Low IL, seducers do not know what to do in LTR when their women with High IL turn into women with Low IL

Microphone Fiend said:

IOW, to summarize, in order to be a well-rounded seducer, (which imo is the goal of studying seduction as opposed to being extremely well with women who fall into a certain category) you need address the problem of Low IL instead of nexting chicks with it.

Click to expand...

This is the other side of the coin that many people fail to account for. If you simply "give up" at the first bit of resistance, you're gonna miss some that you could have had with a little bit of effort.

It's all about knowing how to properly read the signs and make sure a woman isn't simply wasting your time.

The lebanese chick I went out with a few times.....she has displayed signs of her interest level not being very high, but at the same time she displays signs that it might be POSSIBLE to get it up. She's a super low priority, but I still keep the line out there. I won't be setting up any more vague plans with her, but if we get together, we get together. If we fukk, we fukk. If not, I'm not holding my breath anyway so it doesn't matter.

Microphone Fiend said:

IOW, to summarize, in order to be a well-rounded seducer, (which imo is the goal of studying seduction as opposed to being extremely well with women who fall into a certain category) you need address the problem of Low IL instead of nexting chicks with it.

Click to expand...

Good Point. I agree with you.

However, where is your time better spent? Bringing the low IL to a moderate, or finding more High IL.

If your goal is to be the best seducer you can be or getting laid, then your advice is applicable.

If your goal is to find the right one, then you are better off spending your time finding more high IL than strategically seducing a low IL. Most of the time low IL will never be LTR's as you do not have the core qualities they are looking for to begin.

guru1000 said:

However, where is your time better spent? Bringing the low IL to a high, or finding more High IL.

Click to expand...

That's the big question you have to ask yourself on a case by case basis.

guru1000 said:

Good Point. I agree with you.

However, where is your time better spent? Bringing the low IL to a high, or finding more High IL.

If your goal is to be the best seducer you can be or getting laid, then your advice is applicable.

If your goal is to find the right one, then you are better off spending your time finding more high IL than strategically seducing a low IL. Most of the time low IL will never be LTR's as you do not have the core qualities they are looking for to begin.

Click to expand...

Thank you for your response.

Initially I thought that turning around Low IL levels worked only for bragging rights or boosting your self-confidence about your seduction skills, but I think it can also help in the long term too. This ties into my question back to you which is:

What happens if your High IL chick, over time, starts to become a Low IL chick? How would you do damage control and rejuvenate her IL without any prior experience dealing with women who were not head over heels with you and your public persona?

Here, I think that experience in dealing with Low Interest Levels can help turn a five or six year relationship into a life long one.

when your woman starts to look at you with low IL she has seen something in you that is the equivalent of you watching your woman giving birth - you will never look at her p*ssy the same way again. she doesn't hate you, but she's seen something in you that has clashed with the original image she has of you in her head.

reversing low IL is hard. the easiest way to do it though is to revert to whatever alpha traits you were exhibiting when her IL in you was high. apply those behaviors while also withdrawing some of your attention (not all but some) and she will start to be intrigued by you again and also see you as a challenge again.

Microphone Fiend said:

What happens if your High IL chick, over time, starts to become a Low IL chick? How would you do damage control and rejuvenate her IL without any prior experience dealing with women who were not head over heels with you and your public persona?

Here, I think that experience in dealing with Low Interest Levels can help turn a five or six year relationship into a life long one.

Click to expand...

You know what they say about PUA. Most cannot sustain LTR's. The art of seduction and the art of keeping the high IL in a LTR (Being a Man) are very different.

A girl with high IL who turns low IL in a LTR, found that who you are and who she initially thought you appeared to be, are very different. She was attracted to the initial you, not who you became.

A Master Seducer is an actor. So if he happened to seduce a low IL to a high IL , in a LTR the girl will lose interest because he is not who he portrayed.

So for LTR, it's best to go after High IL. High IL is high congruent with who you are.

guru1000 said:

You know what they say about PUA. Most cannot sustain LTR's. The art of seduction and the art of keeping the high IL in a LTR (Being a Man) are very different.

A girl with high IL who turns low IL in a LTR, found that who you are and who she initially thought you appeared to be, are very different. She was attracted to the initial you, not who you became.

A Master Seducer is an actor. So if he happened to seduce a low IL to a high IL , in a LTR the girl will lose interest because he is not who he portrayed.

So for LTR, it's best to go after High IL. High IL are high congruent with who you are.

Click to expand...

actually im not very good an LTRs. but the reason is that im overly independent. when a woman's high IL drops to low IL, almost all time its because I fail to commit when i should.

but im not a master seducer. i dont act. actually i guess id be consider the complete opposie of a seducer because im the guy who says whatever is on his mind.

life is too short to be an actor in my opinion.

which touches why i think im getting out of synch with sosuave lately. its kind of like sosuave is a all about surviving corporate politics - learning how to play the game in shark infested waters.

whereas my attitude is simply don't play the game and focus on doing the best job you can. and if a business doesn't promote you based on that, then take your experience and use it to get a better job in another business.

just like how i believe that the best way to get women is to become the best man you can. then you don't have to play all these games. you are the prize - SHE has to earn your committment, not the other way around.

so much of the focus seems to be on how to out manipulate the other person. whereas i think the focus should be on being true to yourself and never losing yourself to the various games women play.

i find that the moment people know they are dealing with someone who stands by their principles and who is a decent human being (NOTE: not a doormat!) they instinctively know that they must rise to the occasion and behave in accordance with that standard or things ain't going to work out.

but like i say, my 'strategy' is just to be me and to know that im a cool human being who is focused on emphasizing the positives in life. any woman who adds to that is in good standing, any woman who detracts from that is not.

but key to this strategy is not being a slave to the p*ssy. when a woman knows you'll sell yourself out and all your beliefs for what she's got in her pants, you are now living in her world and it becomes a crap shoot as to how things will turn out. if shes a good woman, she'll encourage you to be a better man. but if shes not, she'll use you and toss you aside when she feels like it.

joekerr31 said:

reversing low IL is hard. the easiest way to do it though is to revert to whatever alpha traits you were exhibiting when her IL in you was high. apply those behaviors while also withdrawing some of your attention (not all but some) and she will start to be intrigued by you again and also see you as a challenge again.

Click to expand...

I would VERY rarely try to reverse IL once it has dropped. About the only thing you can do is as you say....walk away, give it a break, and hope for the best. But i think the original topic pertained to women who haven't had high IL to begin with. And it really all depends upon where you stand on her attraction scale. If she's seen something that completely rules you out as a candidate for intimacy, you're screwed. But if it's just a matter of you not having displayed enough value, it's very possible to raise the IL.

When a woman says that she does not sleep with men on the first date or tells you that she is not having sex with you tonight, what do you do?

Click to expand...

First of all, I'm not out to have sex on the first date anymore. Unless they offer it. Ha, ha, ha. Because when they do offer it, I might as well take it because I wouldn't want them for the long term. Used to be, but not any more.

But even if she said the above, that's not a sign of low interest, so no, I wouldn't next her for that.

[I am getting a woman to change her mind... A woman comes in with their mind set on buying Car A. The salesman... has to SHOW the customer why Car B is just as good if not better than Car A

Click to expand...

Whichever one is the blue car, that's the one she wants, and if that's Car A, the salesman can talk till he's blue too. You don't "change a woman's mind" by trying to seduce her if she's not open to it in the first place. She'll just go on to the next car lot where they're willing to sell her whatever she has her heart set on. It's not about her mind or logic or reason. Just ask any woman why she bought the black pumps that hurt her feet.

But, as I said before, just nexting a Low IL woman does not solve the problem, it only sweeps it under the rug

Click to expand...

I got your point. You're saying to reflect on why you got turned down because it could've been something about you, not her, so as not to overlook that and remain ignorant. But you agree that your time could be better put to use with high IL women, so it's almost a moot point because if she was interested enough, despite your mistakes, she'd be helping you out. So reflect, yes, but don't assume the impossible and waste your time. I don't know what your age is, but there's a long time in a guy's life when he feels he's got years and years, and then there's a point you get to when you realize you don't and you have to be very efficient.

reversing low IL is hard. the easiest way to do it though is to revert to whatever alpha traits you were exhibiting when her IL in you was high.

Click to expand...

Exactly. It's doing what got her in the first place. What gets her, is also what's going to keep her.

joekerr31 said:

actually im not very good an LTRs. but the reason is that im overly independent. when a woman's high IL drops to low IL, almost all time its because I fail to commit when i should.

but im not a master seducer. i dont act. actually i guess id be consider the complete opposie of a seducer because im the guy who says whatever is on his mind.

life is too short to be an actor in my opinion.

which touches why i think im getting out of synch with sosuave lately. its kind of like sosuave is a all about surviving corporate politics - learning how to play the game in shark infested waters.

whereas my attitude is simply don't play the game and focus on doing the best job you can. and if a business doesn't promote you based on that, then take your experience and use it to get a better job in another business.

just like how i believe that the best way to get women is to become the best man you can. then you don't have to play all these games. you are the prize - SHE has to earn your committment, not the other way around.

so much of the focus seems to be on how to out manipulate the other person. whereas i think the focus should be on being true to yourself and never losing yourself to the various games women play.

i find that the moment people know they are dealing with someone who stands by their principles and who is a decent human being (NOTE: not a doormat!) they instinctively know that they must rise to the occasion and behave in accordance with that standard or things ain't going to work out.

but like i say, my 'strategy' is just to be me and to know that im a cool human being who is focused on emphasizing the positives in life. any woman who adds to that is in good standing, any woman who detracts from that is not.

but key to this strategy is not being a slave to the p*ssy. when a woman knows you'll sell yourself out and all your beliefs for what she's got in her pants, you are now living in her world and it becomes a crap shoot as to how things will turn out. if shes a good woman, she'll encourage you to be a better man. but if shes not, she'll use you and toss you aside when she feels like it.

Click to expand...

This is the best mentality of true maturity, as well as sustaining a LTR. Be congruent with the best you can be.

Is it really "confusion" or is it her ego doesn't like the seeming disinterest? If it's confusion, as in, "I can't read you", that usually hikes their interest. But if it's that they think you're not into them, or not into them the way they want you to be or expect you to be, then they get resentful and break it off.

Maybe what causes their IL to drop is that you become neglectful? You know, as in, you take them for granted? Is that what happens? Just throwing it out to you.

joekerr31 said:

one of the absolute worst notions that permeates this site (in my opinion) is the notion that women are getting approached by quality men every day. its utterly absurd and so not the case.

Click to expand...

SO true- most women that i know are STARVING for male attention and male company and probably have not had a "date" for months.
They will not openly admit that they are close to desperate, but it leaks out in their conversation.." ..no good value men......" ...I am staying in on NYE.." .. ''... been catching up on my reading lately.."
Most women that I know are hit on by losers or married guys looking for a little extra curricula ...

David D is wrong when he says that attractive women are "approached" 47 times a day by men wanting to date them.

chevelle said:

.. I have dated women who go AFC on me, beg me to come back, express their love for me, and then slam the door in my face once i let my guard down and show genuine interest. If that is not crazy, then i don't know what crazy is?

Click to expand...

Yes that is crazy, and COMMON .
In Personality Dis. women it is HUGE ... Most women regard themselves as being 'entitled' to end a relationship by rejecting the man. THey are driven to write the end of the movie with them as the innocent wronged heroine and the guy as the evil cad.
If the guy walks away before this happens, women seem to be powerfully driven to "put this right ' by hoovering him back and THEM dumping his a## at the first sign of his vulberability.

BPD and NPD chickas are the worst examples..