Destiny

The Damned · Dec 3, 2007

Is it possible for some men maybe never to attract women? I know this seems like a very strange and random topic, but for the last few years Ive always kidded myself up with the fact that maybe things will change and I will finally get what I deserve.
But in reality it never happens and every year ends up the same way...with nothing going no further in life.
Im a believer in fate(despite being a atheist) and I believe everyone has a path in life and maybe mine is to be alone.
Ive followed everyones advice here, but sadly the same results are always happen, even if I make eye contact with a girl, she just looks away.
Ive seen people in my walks of life that are middle aged and even now they havent even got close to a relationship, lets face it even if I did manage to attract a woman nothing is going to make up for the time ive lost.

styleman · Dec 3, 2007

no - not a chance.

punchitchewy · Dec 3, 2007

I'll answer your question first: No, although I don't think that's why you posted this. If you want to get into a relationship but you don't feel you are able then go out and do the following: (This isn't an original idea)

Dress nice, do your hair, grab your cell and some breathe mints and go out to coffee shops, bookstores, malls, clubs or wherever you think you are likely to find women you want to meet. Here's the objective: Make small talk and at some point say, "Let me get your number and we'll meet up sometime," and get rejected 30 times. Talk to women who you could see yourself dating. Smile as you approach and act nonchalant during the conversation. I recommend you don't come back to this website until you try this.

The Forms · Dec 4, 2007

Destiny is a completely incoherent idea. If you really try to explain exactly what destiny is and where it comes from you'll see that it's just a fanciful fairytale. So just take a deep breath and relax. Getting a girl to date you isn't predetermined for you.

When it comes to getting a girl to date you, you don't have to be THAT smooth or good looking. You just need to have the balls to let her know you're interested. Believe it or not, women WANT to like you. Which is kind of a mind**** if you don't have a lot of self confidence. I started a thread about this a few days ago; you should check it out (I think it was called something about getting to the first kiss).

ducaro · Dec 4, 2007

There is no destiny, there is no fate. You should know this by now.. remember your folks told you about santa as a kid..? Similarly, destiny, fate, unconditional love, 'god' (for some who believe god is a real person up above who grants wishes) - all of these things are made up for the sake of humanity cuz stress can only make you hope that all of these exist.

The reality is right in front of you. people dying without food, wild orgies, pots and pots of money spent on sex, glamour and stupid people walking around...all of that is reality. Its high time you 'unculture' yourself, open your eyes and embrace the moment/present and you'll begin to see the opportunities.

Yeah, I agree life is 'unfair'...but this is it.

The fact you are not getting any woman is because you are not doing what it takes to get it! Its not going to fall in your lap just like that... you gotta work for it... just like you spend time finding a job and then you get it.

Make your own destiny. What you do today is what you will see tomorrow.

DJ Snake Eyes · Dec 4, 2007

Life is what you make it my friend.

Effington · Dec 4, 2007

I do not believe in "destiny", but it sounds like what you are describing is a self-fulfilling proficy (sp). In other words, if you believe it to come true, it probably will. The mind is a powerful thing.

afc_2_dj · Dec 4, 2007

Effington said:
describing is a self-fulfilling proficy (sp). In other words, if you believe it to come true, it probably will. The mind is a powerful thing.

I am beggining to believe in this myself, that is, you believe something and tell yourself it is true, and convince yourself of the outcomes so much that you subconciously start acting to such an extent that you make it come true.

MooseGod · Dec 4, 2007

I know it's cheesy, but there's a line from Terminator 2: "No fate. There's no fate but what we make for ourselves."

You seem to be stuck in a self-fulfilling prophecy. Who is the master of your destiny? Do you want to allow your life to be controlled by outside forces or do you want to forge your own path, like Ghandi, MLK, Donald Trump, Bill Gates, and other greats of our time and those past? Have you heard the line from Stairway to Heaven where Robert Plant sings "yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run... there's still time to change the road you're on."

The future is NOW, my friend, and it is your job to mold the world around you into one of your choosing.

LostAndConfused · Dec 4, 2007

Unfortunately, it is *very* possible to never attract women. Some men were just born that way, try as they might. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try though! I doubt you'd be one of those ill-fated males

The Damned · Dec 4, 2007

LostAndConfused said:
Unfortunately, it is *very* possible to never attract women. Some men were just born that way, try as they might. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try though! I doubt you'd be one of those ill-fated males

DevanE I wish It was a wind up but this is definately true I have the status that LostandConfused is talking about, maybe I have got a negative attitude, but I cant see how things are just going to change all of a sudden, lets face it im a lot older now so I dont have much more going for me, Ive had a tough time of things and it looks to be getting a lot tougher.

Effington · Dec 4, 2007

afc_2_dj said:
I am beggining to believe in this myself, that is, you believe something and tell yourself it is true, and convince yourself of the outcomes so much that you subconciously start acting to such an extent that you make it come true.

If you've ever heard of the best selling book, "The Secret", that's all it really says, over and over for 100 pages. Whether it's actually legitimate, that's up for debate, but it definitely helps, to an extent. I think the book takes it a little overboard, all the way to saying a positive attitude can get you rich and powerful and anything you want, but as long as you believe it, the author sells books and gets rich.

Stud No1 · Dec 4, 2007

"success is luck, ask any failure''

the above applies to all aspects of life. you must MAKE IT HAPPEN.

learn to help yourself.

im not sure about destiny, there are many paths for us to take, you control your own destiny. what kind of destiny will non-action get you? isnt that just an excuse for not trying?

The Damned · Dec 5, 2007

Believe me its not the way I want my life to go but its the way it is, even now after all these years it may be too late to turn back the clock.
I cant change the way things have gone, ive looked back and thought of how I could have changed it but sadly there isnt a way.
Laziness doesnt come into it, Its a lot harder having things the way they are now and always have been(and probably always will be) than the straight forward happier way things could have been like.

PlaysToWin · Dec 6, 2007

You sound like a quitter who can't get anywhere with women, and probably in the rest of your life, because you are too busy feeling sorry for yourself. Are you suffering from depression and/or low self-esteem? You should get some help.

As it stands, if you don't wake up some morning and decide to be a little optimistic, determined and actively go do something, then you will indeed spend the rest of your life alone. And you will deserve it too.

Stop making excuses.

LostAndConfused · Dec 6, 2007

Stud No1 said:
"success is luck, ask any failure''

Good quote but ironically success really *is* luck.

The Damned · Dec 6, 2007

PlaysToWin said:
You sound like a quitter who can't get anywhere with women, and probably in the rest of your life, because you are too busy feeling sorry for yourself. Are you suffering from depression and/or low self-esteem? You should get some help.

As it stands, if you don't wake up some morning and decide to be a little optimistic, determined and actively go do something, then you will indeed spend the rest of your life alone. And you will deserve it too.

Stop making excuses.

Trust me mate ive never been a quitter.
I know it may seem like that but ive been through hell and always find a way of bouncing back, most people I know in life have had opportunites handed to them and people always helped them along the way, for me ive always been on my own and had to find a way to adapt and survive in all circles of life, ive always had to fight my own battles. Yes ive suffered with Bipolar Disorder(which will always be ongoing in my life) but I know the things that have happened have had zero to do with my condition.
Id love things to change and to lead a normal happy life, but lets face it, im 24 now my best years have gone and after all this time its unlikely that things are going to change.

Grand Wizzard Alamar · Dec 6, 2007

It's impossible. How do ugly girls have bfs/get married? haha

L777 · Dec 6, 2007

The Damned said:
Trust me mate ive never been a quitter.
I know it may seem like that but ive been through hell and always find a way of bouncing back, most people I know in life have had opportunites handed to them and people always helped them along the way, for me ive always been on my own and had to find a way to adapt and survive in all circles of life, ive always had to fight my own battles. Yes ive suffered with Bipolar Disorder(which will always be ongoing in my life) but I know the things that have happened have had zero to do with my condition.
Id love things to change and to lead a normal happy life, but lets face it, im 24 now my best years have gone and after all this time its unlikely that things are going to change.

You're 24??? Your best years have certainly NOT passed.

I used to think the same as you...."When I have more muscles/techniques/confidence/clear skin etc etc I'll be successful" errrr....no, you HAVE to go and approach, and get rejected. This is not easy, but the reward is the greatest thing on earth: sex!

How much do you approach at the moment?

The Damned · Dec 6, 2007

L777 said:
You're 24??? Your best years have certainly NOT passed.

I used to think the same as you...."When I have more muscles/techniques/confidence/clear skin etc etc I'll be successful" errrr....no, you HAVE to go and approach, and get rejected. This is not easy, but the reward is the greatest thing on earth: sex!

How much do you approach at the moment?

Zero at the moment mate and never even tried, even if I look at a woman she looks away, maybe if I get one who even glances at me or smiles then it might give me the confidence to approach them, so far not one has even showed me the remotest interest

Destiny

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