The 3 Keys To Go From Newb to Don Juan

I've been on these boards for close to three years. What's funny is I actually discovered this community with a bunch of my friends in real life. However, some of us have remained AFC while some of us have become Don Juans. The differences is NOT in the knowledge because all of us have access to the DJ Bible, David D's stuff, Mystery Method, etc.

Watching my friends and I start off at the same level and go to different paths, I can name the three traits that made some of us successful and some of us not. Take this advice and well...be one of the successful ones!

Abundance of Excuses

This is one of the most common reasons that hold AFC's back. They come up with one excuse after another about why they can't get women.

-"I'm too short"
-"I'm not good looking enough"
-"I'm not a funny guy"

What this does is continuously lowers their confidence and prevents them from taking action. Let's face it, all of us have different strengths and weaknesses. The key is to identify what you can and can't change. Me for example...

I'm kinda short, about 5'7. I can't change my height, but what I can change though is my mindset. Plenty of guys shorter than me are getting plenty of ass, therefore I don't consider it an excuse anymore.

While you can't change your height, there ARE other things you can change. If you're fat and have low self-esteem because of it, then you can lose weight AND have a better mentality.

Willingness to Apply

Learning the stuff is not enough, you have to apply. Don't be one of those guys that memorizes every line and theory out there, but is still a virgin.

I believe that there is no game that is one size fits all. You have to learn from the experts, apply it, and gain experience. After getting experience you will understand what works best for YOU and take your game to the next level.

But yea, don't end up being a keyboard jockey.

Balls

Becoming good with women is all about getting out your COMFORT ZONE. Nobody likes getting rejected. No matter how good you get, you'll still face rejection. What DJ's realize is that the REWARDS are much greater than the RISK.

Imagine you're in the club and you want to approach the set. The worst that can happen is she says no, the best that can happen is I take her home and get some. The Reward/risk ratio is absolutely fantastic, how could you not approach?

So basically let me sum it up:

Don't let excuses hold you back
+Learn, Apply, gain experience
+Get out of your comfort zone and grow some balls
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Get the women of your dreams

awesome

But I love my comfort zone. It's so comfortable. There's no pussy here though

My own worst enemy is myself.

Genius thread.

I love this post and it states why some members of the community become DJ's/players while other members become KJ's.

I know that another membr of the site that joined the same exact time that I did. I am now getting girls attracted to me and have a girlfriend. My friend on the other hand is worse off than before hand.

I believe that this should be on every KJ's reading list.

comic_relief

Sometimes it's hard to get past failures and get yourself back up again for another try...I'm not talking about failed approaches here, either...I'm talking about failing with girls whom you've talked to and tried to get something going with, and something has happened.

This makes it difficult to get the right mentality to try again sometimes, which leads to me staying right in my comfort zone.

Yes great insights Master....

I agree fully with the BALLS, getting outside of your comfort zone.

When I was finally able to do that is when I gave myself permission to fail! I knew it was ok to fail... And creating a strict goal for yourself and you MUST accomplish it.

Thats where its really at for me. How bad do you really want this??? I have no choice but to keep going out. I can't just sit at home because I have made goals. So I literally HAVE to go out and I HAVE to approach approach approach, I don't give myself any other option. Failure doesn't stop me, I have to keep going.
Someday I will be great, there is no quitting until I've reached all my goals.

why do we need balls were approaching women not grizzly bears. Why cant you expand your comfort zone to include talking to people you don't know?

hell695 said:

why do we need balls were approaching women not grizzly bears. Why cant you expand your comfort zone to include talking to people you don't know?

Click to expand...

precisely what we are aiming for.... But what if you AREN'T comfortable with approaching girls? Then you have to grow some balls and go outside you comfort zone to get comfortable.


For some guys they would rather face a grizzly bear then walk up to a four set of 9s and 10s all sitting together in the lounge, no extra seats, you know they are going to hate you for even approaching... lol, thats pushing outside your comfort zone, hitting the sets you really are afraid of.

But yeah Ideally you would be comfortable doing it. Its a process of growing. Thats what we are here for.

Randallpink83 said:

precisely what we are aiming for.... But what if you AREN'T comfortable with approaching girls? Then you have to grow some balls and go outside you comfort zone to get comfortable.


For some guys they would rather face a grizzly bear then walk up to a four set of 9s and 10s all sitting together in the lounge, no extra seats, you know they are going to hate you for even approaching... lol, thats pushing outside your comfort zone, hitting the sets you really are afraid of.

But yeah Ideally you would be comfortable doing it. Its a process of growing. Thats what we are here for.

Click to expand...

That's right. I'd rather fly and airplane 3000 feet in the air next to an instructor in turbulent winds where I could feak out for being so high on a small and shakey plane, yet, I'd cancel a date on a rain drizzle because of a weather warning that didn't even come into effect because a 'girl' is involved.
Or, sure, I've faced judges and lawyers and all sorts of stuff, but when it comes to going up to a girl to ask for directions, I think it would be easier to solo-skidive than do that sometimes.

lYlasTer said:

Balls

Becoming good with women is all about getting out your COMFORT ZONE. Nobody likes getting rejected. No matter how good you get, you'll still face rejection. What DJ's realize is that the REWARDS are much greater than the RISK.

Imagine you're in the club and you want to approach the set. The worst that can happen is she says no, the best that can happen is I take her home and get some. The Reward/risk ratio is absolutely fantastic, how could you not approach?

Click to expand...

I can't agree MORE with this. But in terms of the importance of the three you listed, I have to say coming out of your comfort zone is the most important.

My story in a nutshell:
I found this site,
Learned some techniques,
Revised my AFC mindsets,
Learned more techniques,
Became a keyboard jockey,
Started going out,
Started using the techniques in REAL situations,
and am still working on coming out of my comfort zone.

You can learn all the techniques you want and become a MAD opener, attractor, and seducer, but if you don't have the balls to close. What all does it matter?

Baby steps, my friends. Baby steps.

sandman6991 said:

Sometimes it's hard to get past failures and get yourself back up again for another try...I'm not talking about failed approaches here, either...I'm talking about failing with girls whom you've talked to and tried to get something going with, and something has happened.

This makes it difficult to get the right mentality to try again sometimes, which leads to me staying right in my comfort zone.

Click to expand...

Trust me, I know how you feel.

You can brush off an approach failure because the woman doesn't know you. However when you spend months chasing after a woman, she gets to know you, and THEN rejects you, it hurts a lot more emotionally. It's something I went through a lot in the beginning when I was continuously friend zoned.

How did I overcome this?

I decided the whole "friends" things first is a bunch of ****. By going through that you're spending WAY too much time on a single woman, AND investing a lot of feelings and emotions into it.

My style nowadays if a lot like "Anti-Dump's", I think Pook did a lot of articles about his method. It's pretty much I don't try to build attraction, she either likes me or she doesn't.

If she gives you some **** like she's not ready for someone, or just wants to be friends first, it simply means she's not into you enough. This is where nice guys fall into her trap. Move on to the next woman.

You'd be surprised. The women you next often come running back to you in a few weeks because you didn't fall for her **** test.

But YOUR main problem is you're placing your happiness on getting a girl / aka being desperate. Go out and get laid a few times, then you'll be a lot STRONGER.